


On a Short Leash

by StarvingLunatic



Series: Walking the Line saga [2]
Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bonding, Collars, Comedy, Denial, Dogs, Domestic, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Engagement, Epic, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Friendship, Jealousy, KiGo, Master/Pet, Mild Sexual Content, Mischief, Multi, Novel, Pet Play, Romance, Sassy, Slice of Life, Snakes, Violence, Wordcount: 100.000-150.000, Wordcount: Over 100.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-22
Updated: 2006-03-21
Packaged: 2018-02-07 06:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 148,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1888449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarvingLunatic/pseuds/StarvingLunatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. This is the sequel to Walking the Line. Kim and Shego look to renew their unorthodox relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dilemma One: Return of the Pet

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters nor do I own this premise. The characters are Disney’s and the premise belongs to the great Yayoi Ogawa.
> 
> This is the sequel to Walking the Line. I don’t know, but you might want to read that before this if only to get a feel for what’s going on. This is an AU, but it does take a lot from the real KP universe. The real KP universe? Isn’t an oxymoron? Am I bugging yet again? Yeah, anyway, the suggestion is to read Walking the Line before this to understand what the hell is going on.
> 
> Italics at the beginning of each chapter are the thoughts of either Shego or Kim. I’ll leave you to figure out which is saying what.

On a Short Leash

Dilemma One: Return of the Pet

“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was…” DMX, Let me fly.

 _I like hip-hop music and tend to take many of the deeper words to heart because it is poetry. That phrase, though, doesn’t tug at anything in me. She was always mine, even if she didn’t come back_.

It felt like an eternity since she had had last been to Go City, like it was another lifetime ago. _Maybe it was another lifetime ago_ , she thought with a bit of a sullen expression in her olive-colored eyes. Maybe it was foolish of her to consider that there was a way to get that back. It had already been so long.

“But, I have to try…” she muttered to herself.

She bet that everyone would think that she was stupid or insane if they knew what she missed most in life, including the one that she missed most. She bet the person that held such a special place in her heart had moved on because it was the logical thing to do, especially after so long. They would not pull off their relationship again, not now, because the one that she missed knew. She knew who she was and she knew what she was capable of. That would always complicate what was supposed to be such a simple relationship, right? 

-8-8-8-8- 

Life was like card game. One was dealt a hand and she had to play that hand out to the best of her ability until the next hand was dealt out, no matter how shitty the hand was. She had played her hand, but for someone else. Hey, there was a first time for everything. The person deserved a better hand and she made sure the little nitwit took it because she thought that the little nutcase would just continue to drift while avoiding everything that life wanted from her and had to offer her.

She should not dwell on what she did or what she did not do, she told herself, but she did. She always dwelled on it because it did not add up to her for some reason. She had wanted something, rather badly actually, and she did not take it because it was best for the second party involved. That was nothing like her, but she could not hold that little idiot back, right?

-8-8-8-8-

Why did everyday seem like the same day, even though they were clearly different? The outside stimulus was always of a different nature, but similar just the same. The empty feeling inside was constant, which probably made the days feel the identical. The feeling of dragging around like sloths, not giving a hundred percent or a hundred and ten percent depending on who was doing the calculations. The world seemed so terribly mundane and dreadfully ordinary, no matter what happened. Everyday was some new disaster, but a disaster just the same. And every night was the same drudgery. It was all the same thing. It was always the same.

-8-8-8-8-

Kim wandered Go City like a mindless tourist, hopelessly lost, but not in the usual sense. She did not have a particular destination in mind. She was just walking around, allowing her brain to bother her. She had gone to spend time with her friends and that had actually started her troubles. Monique was the specific reason her mind was eating away at her. The fashion diva had suggested that she go stop by to see a certain person, her former owner to be more exact.

Most people would probably think to discourage such behavior on Kim’s part, namely pushing that she go see a woman that used to keep her as a pet. But, her friends were not like most people. They were used to the bizarre for the most part, not just because they were friends with a girl that saved the world on the daily basis from all kinds of lunatics, but also because they had been living in Go City for more than a year. Anybody that lived in Go City learned that the world was made up of very strange things. So, they all reasoned that it was all right to encourage Kim to go see her ex-mistress because Shego had been a person that made her happy.

The redhead was tempted, very tempted to go see her former master; she was tempted like Eve in the Garden of Eden. But, what would she say to Shego? “Thanks for throwing me away”? “Have you been happy without me?” “Have you moved on?” There were worse things that she could do aside from asking those questions.

What might she do, though? She was not entirely certain and she was nervous to find out. Would she beg Shego to let her back into her life? Would she beseech a chance to be able to curl up in the elder woman’s lap again and lounge around like a lazy kitten? She could not do that. It would not be right for either of them.

So, just what in the world was a pet supposed to say to her ex-mistress? How was a pet supposed to act toward a former owner? Nothing came to mind for Kim, so she was fighting off the temptation, barely. It was tugging at her.

Her time with Shego had been very sincere. Well, on her end anyway. Shego had fought it and tried to pretend to be an apathetic mistress at best, but she was very caring with Kim through out her charade, almost loving. Kim saw through the pretense, which was one of the reasons that she stuck around.

Kim knew that what she and Shego had was something special to the pale woman because of the way the elder woman acted around her. And since Shego was so relaxed, Kim was the same way. She grew very comfortable around the super-powered female and she had never trusted anyone like she did Shego, not even Ron. She was herself while with Shego while being “Princess/ Pumpkin” for her owner. She was at ease, at peace, she was everything that she never even thought about before Shego, but could not forget about it now.

Was it strange, the hero often wondered, to miss being someone’s pet? She did not care about the answer. She was strange, so it did not matter either way. She missed being a pet because she missed being near Shego. She really liked Shego, more than she ever knew when she was with the woman, but she had known for a long time that she wanted to stay with that woman forever, for both of their sakes. She doubted that the green-skinned woman would accept her now, though. Shego just was not like that.

“She let me. She wanted what was best for me, not thinking she was what’s best for me,” Kim muttered.

She probably should go greet her ex-mistress, Kim told herself. That would be the polite thing to do, at the very least. She could tell Shego that she was doing all right, sort of anyway. She was making something of herself. She bet that her former owner would like to know that to see that she had not released Kim in vain. But, Kim did not trust herself to relay such information in person.

Kim could picture herself meeting up with Shego and doing the one thing that was likely to piss the woman off, namely implore that she take her back like some homesick puppy. She would not get any pity points and she knew that because she never got any pity points when acting pathetic. She would lose any respect that Shego had for her and she knew that the woman did respect her somewhat. It might be in an odd way, but she knew it was there. It might have changed when Shego found out who she was, but the respect was still there.

Besides, she would not have any respect for herself if she dared to beg for anything, even if it was her ex-master and she did want to be with Shego again. She did have some pride for crying out loud. Yes, a person that used to be a pet could have pride and self-respect. 

She scratched the top of her head and continued to ponder what she should do. What good would it do if she went to see Shego, she asked herself. The emerald-eyed woman had more than likely moved on and was doing something new with her life. That was the kind of woman her former keeper was, after all. She doubted that her mistress lamented the loss. All right, no, that last bit was a lie.

Deep in her heart, Kim was certain that Shego missed her just as much as she longed for Shego. The only difference between them was that Shego would try to ignore the feeling that was devouring her insides. She probably looked at the feeling as an annoyance, the redhead thought, but she knew that her ex-owner mourned her absence. If only for a little while, anyway, but she would like to know if Shego still thought of her, maybe still missed her. She was still in mourning herself. If only there was some way to make the feeling go away. She could not think of anything that might help, though. 

The hero thought that it was a bit ironic that she, a certified genius who could do anything, could not think of some way to right the emotions that were tumbling around inside her body. Nor could she think of something that she could say to her ex-mistress if she managed to go visit the woman. She could just let Shego see that she was all right, she figured. She did owe the elder female that much … right?

No matter how much Kim tried to rationalize if she should at least go show Shego that she was fine, she could not trust herself to do it. The sad thing was that she had been waiting for such a long time to have an excuse to return to Go City, even better an excuse to stay in the busy metropolis. She had both of those, but now she realized that she wanted more than those things. She wanted to stay with Shego again and she just could not see that happening no matter what.

Instead of bothering her former mistress, Kim thought that maybe she should just leave her alone. She figured that if Shego truly cared, then she would be keeping up with Kim’s adventures on her website. She had been in the news a few times, too, because she saved the world a couple of times from serious megalomaniacs. So, her ex-master would know what was going on in her life and would know that she had not let her go for no reason at all.

There was also the chance that Shego might have company if she did decide to go see the pale woman. She would hate to go to the condo and find her former mistress entertaining Drakken. She hated to think that the woman might even still be with that imbalanced, cerulean, scatter-brained inventor.

Kim happened to glance up when she noted that the landscape was starting to look mighty familiar. She laughed a bit when she realized where she was. As monstrously huge as Go City was, she had unconsciously wandered right back to her old home. Well, she had been told that it was home and it certainly had felt so much like home, but in the end, she had to leave there, too. It was the only place that she had ever left with remorse and regrets.

There had been so much in that apartment that Kim never wanted to leave, Shego being the first and foremost thing. The elder woman sort of made all the other things come into existence. The intangible things that had been in that place had been lost to Kim’s understanding until she lived there. Now, she comprehended what it felt like to be warm and secure in someone’s arms. She was aware what it was like to trust someone completely and knew that no matter what she did, the person she was with would not judge her too harshly. She knew what it was like to live without pressure of any kind and to be enjoyed just for being there.

 _Okay_ , the redhead conceded herself; since she was at the condo, she might as well go and see what Shego was up to. She entered the building and trotted up to Shego’s apartment. She stared at the door for a moment before knocking and there was no answer. She was both overjoyed and disappointed that no one answered the door. She was still not sure what she would do if she saw her ex-mistress. As she turned to leave, she had a memory of one of the hundreds of times that she had run to the door to answer it either at the beckoning of her mistress or some other reason.

“I wish…” Kim trailed off, not wanting to voice that desire out loud lest she jinx it, or it might even come true. She was a firm believer in being careful what she wished for.

The redhead went back out onto the street and had no clue as to what she should do or where she should go. It did not even matter, her mind pointed out. She might as well return to her friends and report that they did not have to worry about her doing anything odd while she was in the city since she had not gotten in contact with Shego.

Kim walked off in the direction that she was facing, but she did not even make it to the next street. She ended up running into the one person that she did not want to see, but deeply desired to see. She knew that she needed to be careful what she wished for.

“Shego,” Kim gasped. Her former owner was standing right in front of her, looking just as she recalled. They had been separated for a little less than a year, but it felt like centuries, yet based on their appearance it might as well have been minutes.

“Princess,” Shego muttered, blinking as if she could not believe her eyes. She fought the impulse, almost instinct, to reach out and pet the girl. She reminded herself that she had set the girl free and she was no longer her pet. “What the hell are you doing around here?” the older woman demanded, fixing her face into a stern frown.

“Business,” Kim found herself blurting out.

“Business?” Shego echoed, her façade slipping immediately. Part of her was saying what kind of business could her puny pet possibly have, but then she reminded her brain again that Kim was no longer her pet. She also reminded herself that Kim was a hero, an adventurer, and a genius, so it was very plausible that she could have so sort of business in Go City.

“Yeah, what happened was I found some very old armor when I was out on a mission. It was an accident really. I fell through a sink hole and landed in somebody’s bunk, I guess,” the younger woman reported with a sheepish look on her face as she scratched the back of her neck. She never told anybody that it was really an accident. She told them that she fell, but she made sure not to make it sound like clumsiness on her part.

“Only you,” Shego laughed a bit. “So, what’s the business?”

“Well, like I said, I found this armor and it turns out that it’s in very good condition for its age. It’s about two thousand years old or something like that. I’m being forced to go on tour with it through a bunch of museums that are looking to buy the pieces from me one day soon. It’s a very big collection,” the hero informed her former owner.

“So, you’re going to sell it?” Shego asked. She could not believe it because she thought that her little monster seemed a little light in the head when it came to money. After all, she ran around doing fantastic feats free of charge.

Kim laughed a bit. “To tell you the truth, I’m going to give it back to the little village that I found it near. They could use the money if they chose to sell it way more than I could and it’s theirs anyway.” She shrugged.

“That’s rather generous of you. So, why are you stringing the museums along?” Shego inquired. She knew that Kim would not go after the money; it just was not something that seemed to ever cross the girl’s mind. She could only wonder how the little monster was going to make it in the real world.

“Well, I needed a ride back to Go City,” Kim answered with a slight smile.

The pale woman shook her head. “You’re still so hopeless. I suppose since you’re here, you’d like to come for dinner,” she sort of offered.

“Spanking,” Kim agreed with a grin.

“You know you were coming here for the free meal, anyway,” Shego remarked.

The shorter redhead only continued to grin and the raven-haired woman shook her head. The pair marched up to the apartment and Kim looked around the place that used to be her home. Everything was just as she recollected, as if she had only been gone a few hours and not plenty of months. Even her box was still sitting in the corner of the living room where she left it. She was a bit surprised that Shego kept her box.

“Hey, it’s completely the same,” the redhead commented as she inspected her old safe haven. She resisted the urge to flip it over and crawl into it. “Why do you still have it?” It was clean for a box, too. No dust on it or anything.

“Haven’t had the time to throw it out,” Shego answered as she went to the kitchen.

Kim accepted that response for what it was. She fought the urge to flop on the sofa like she used to when she was a pet. Oh, that was a good life, but she was not a pet anymore. She was a guest. How was she supposed to act like a guest in Shego’s presence? She was not sure. She only knew what she should not do.

She knew that she should not lie on the floor and watch her hostess’ butt while she prepared their meal. She knew that she should not lounge on the couch and wait for the woman of the house to caress her scalp. She should not say anything inappropriate; oh, that might be hard, considering how hot she thought that Shego was. She behaved for the most part by not moving until dinner was done.

The green-skinned female called her guest to the table by saying dinner was ready. She was unsure as to what she should call the girl at first and nearly called her by a pet name again. She figured that calling a guest by a pet name would not be the best way to start an evening.

“So, what have you been up to?” Kim asked Shego, trying her best to make conversation, even though Shego seemed content with the silence. The younger woman recalled the last time that they sat in silence and she did not like it very much, so she wanted to stop remembering it by having a discussion of some kind.

“Same shit, different day,” Shego answered in disinterested tone. “You?”

“Same here,” Kim admitted.

“You going to school yet?” the elder woman inquired.

“Funny you should mention school,” the redhead replied.

“Why is it that funny?”

“I’ve been applying to dozens of places. I mean, applying like crazy,” the girl informed her former mistress.

“Well, that’s good. So, you’ve figured out what you want to do with your life?” Shego asked.

“Well, sort of. I’m going to stick with the biology and I actually considered being a wildlife vet. I figured woods, animals, open space, that’s all me to a certain extent. But, it’s actually too close to a medical doctor, I thought,” Kim explained a bit with a laugh.

“And you don’t want to be a medical doctor?”

“No, because then I’d also have to be a rocket scientist, so my dad’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt. Besides, the whole family is either medical doctors or engineers. That’s just boring.”

“That’s boring?” Shego repeated in a skeptical tone.

“Well, not boring, but limited. I’m not built for that, though. I’m more of a mover. While some Possibles do get around, I make even those guys look like sedentary rocks,” Kim remarked with a smile. Shego actually could not picture the girl being very active, but that was only because most of her memories of the girl were her lying around the house or cowering underneath her box.

“What are you built for?” Shego asked in a slightly amused tone. She nearly smiled, but she caught herself.

“Adventure?” Kim guessed.

“Well, how does that trigger into your going to school for bio?”

“Outside and animals. I don’t mind getting dirty when it’s called for,” the redhead said. She was fashion conscious, but not when she was out on a mission. Out in a jungle or a forest somewhere, Kim was just like a kid playing in mud. In a mountain, she was like a kid in the snow. In a swamp, well, she was like a kid in a pool and in mud.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Well, I don’t know about that yet. I just know I’m going to study animals in some way. I’ve even considered hunting for new species since I travel the world so much,” the girl answered.

“Glad to see you’ve figured out what you want to do with your life … sort of anyway. So, where are you going to go to school?” the emerald-eyed woman inquired.

“Well … I’ve been accepted to Go University. Their biology department is rather well known and prestigious. Their courses and labs are very cool. They’ve been trying to get me to go there since I started school at Middleton College.”

“So, you’re going to go to G.U.?” Shego inquired.

“Maybe. I think it’s a great school and I’d like to hang out with my friends.”

“So, why maybe?”

“Two things, my parents hate me living in Go City, especially if I do it on my own. And I can’t do it on my own anyway since my lifestyle kind of doesn’t work with regular jobs. I need a place to stay if I go there.”

“Well, I’m not looking for a freeloader around here,” Shego declared.

“I wouldn’t be a freeloader,” Kim argued.

“You’ve got a paying job then?”

“Well … no,” the redhead answered.

“Then how wouldn’t you be a freeloader then? You couldn’t pay me any rent or pay any bills, could you?”

“Okay, fine, you make a point,” Kim conceded there.

“Well … you know your old job is still open,” Shego muttered.

“Really?” Kim asked, her olive eyes shining bright with hope.

“Doy.”

“And you won’t mind?”

“Why the fuck would I mind?” Shego asked. She knew what Kim was getting at. She thought that because she was all-mighty Kim Possible that it would be impossible for them to go back to the way things used to be. As far as Shego was concerned that was pure bullshit. She was the one in charge, no matter what. She did not give a damn if the kid was the bleeding Queen.

“Well, if that’s the case, I accept,” Kim replied with a nod and a smile. From what she could tell, taking her old job was just about the only way she could hope to stay with Shego at the moment because it seemed like the only way the elder woman was going to allow her into her life.

“All right, Princess. All the old rules stand, you’re back in the loft, and you’d better not be lying to me.”

“Me lie? Come on, Shego, you know I don’t lie,” Kim said with an impish smile; a smile that Shego silently admitted that she sorely missed.

“You’d better not start either. So, you’re going to stay here to night or did the museum that you’re stringing along spring for a fancy hotel room?” the pale woman inquired.

“I’ll stay here. This is home, after all,” the redhead answered with a grin. Home, sweet home. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kim and Shego try to fall back into old habits.


	2. Dilemma Two: Game of Fetch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I hope you all know that.

Dilemma Two: Game of Fetch

 _My mistress has been acting weird since I came back about a week ago. She’s been … well … making my job harder_. 

Being together was not as easy as the reunited pet and master liked to pretend it was. Shego was too stubborn and prideful to admit to being a bit uncomfortable with her little pest. She did not see why she should be uneasy around the girl. After all, Kim was her girl and she would always be that. She owned that runt no matter what, she continued to tell herself so, but it seemed like something inside of her was not buying it. She was going to prove it to herself somehow that Kim was nothing more than a pet.

Kim had a bit of trouble easing into her role as pet. She had what she wanted, a chance to be with Shego again, so she thought that she would be happy. She only came to realize that she desired to be more than a pet to Shego. Sure, being her pet was an extremely important job, but it was still a sort of lowly position. It did not seem that way the first time, though.

“Maybe I’m just thinking too hard on this subject. I mean, I just got here and everything. I doubt that I should just be able to jump right into this, right? I didn’t think about this as much the first time around. I just went with it and enjoyed the feeling of being close to my master. I liked bringing her joy, making her happy. I need to just do that again because that is the important thing. Making her happy made me happy is the important thing. I know this is pretty much the only way she’ll let me be with her right now. I want to be near her, so I just need to straighten out my act. I need to be happy again being Princess or Pumpkin,” Kim told herself.

She was resting in her loft. She had moved her meager possessions back without much problem. Her bedding and everything had been pretty much right where she left it. Shego did wash everything for her. The pale woman even made sure to clean off the floor before Kim put her stuff in the loft, like a good owner caring for her pet. Still, something was off.

The redhead had been home for a few days now and she had been a fairly good pet in her opinion. She came when beckoned and was content to be caressed by her owner. She followed all of the old rules, even though many of them were created when she was thought to be stupider than a washcloth. So, she did not touch the stove, she did not eat after ten, and most of all, she did not sleep in her mistress’ bed; not that she did not want to crawl in bed with the woman. After all, she was a naughty pet more often than not. It was just that she could not hop back into the role like she thought that she would be able to and she knew the reason for that.

It was Shego. Kim noticed that Shego was not ready or prepared to be the all-powerful, outright commanding mistress that she was the first time around. She guessed that even though Shego wanted to act like she did not care that Kim Possible was her pet, she must have minded. It seemed to bother the elder woman. Kim wondered what that might mean.

The redhead liked to cling to the belief that Shego might be willing and able to accept her as more than pet on the second go-round. She might be able to accept that she liked Kim and she liked that the girl tried to bring her happiness, that the girl did bring her peace of mind. In Kim’s mind that would show that she had finally beaten that jackass Drakken. If that was the case, then she would have to steal a line from Ron and merrily declare a “boo-yah” right in the cerulean doctor’s face.

Unfortunately, Kim knew that was not the case. She knew that it would take a lot for her to defeat Drakken and win the heart and time of her owner. It would definitely take a lot of time and effort on the redhead’s part. She was in the lead as far as she could tell, but it still felt like she was losing big time because that blue dolt was still in her mistress’ life while she could not even get Shego to be a proper, responsible pet owner.

Kim decided to just stop thinking about it. She was all too aware that thinking about would not do her any good. Everything in her mind at the moment depended on her keeper. She decided to leave things in the capable hands of Shego. She had faith that eventually her master would do what was in the best interest of all the parties involved. After all, Shego hated when something got too annoying and eventually what was going on had to get too annoying. Well, that was what Kim thought anyway. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Shego came into the apartment, slamming the door very hard in case her pet was sleeping on the sofa. She thought that it would be entertaining to wake the girl up with a loud noise. Kim stuck her head out of her loft space, showing that she was not startled, nor was she sleeping. She had anticipated her keeper’s return, but she did not have it in her to go hug Shego the second that she stepped through the door. _Why is it so hard to act like Princess/ Pumpkin the second time around_ , a voice asked in the back of Kim’s mind.

“What’s the bag?” Kim asked curiously when noticed that the elder woman was holding a black plastic bag.

“Nothing,” Shego answered while tossing the bag onto the sofa and she could tell that her little monster was about charge right for the bag. “Don’t touch it,” the pale woman ordered without turning around to face the redhead.

“Why not?” Kim pouted. _I can’t touch anything_ , her mind lamented. She could not touch the stove, she could not touch the bag, and she could not touch her mistress without permission. So many rules!

“Because I said so,” the green-skinned female declared before walking off to get settled into her home.

Kim sighed and nodded to show that she understood. At least her mistress was acting more like she used to. She wondered what was in the bag, though. Well, since her owner was acting more like she used to, the redhead figured that she could act more like she used to. She considered that she could sneak a glimpse into the bag and see what was inside without being found out. She bet that it was something for her, so she should check it out. It sounded like a solid plan, she decided.

The young woman climbed down from her loft and made a beeline right for the bag. She picked the plastic container up and looked around, just in case the woman-in-charge showed up out of nowhere. She smiled when she figured that she was about to get away with something.

“You just don’t listen,” Shego commented from the entrance to the living room. She was leaning against the wall.

“Damn it,” Kim muttered at being busted. Why could she not get away with something just once while under Shego’s roof, she wondered with a pout.

“Yeah, damn it indeed. What the hell did I just tell you?” the pale woman demanded.

“Not to touch it,” the girl answered while making sure to appear rather dejected, which had no affect on her mistress.

“And what are you doing?” Shego asked while approaching her pet.

“Touching it,” Kim offered enthusiastically, which earned her a hit in the head with a thin, rolled up magazine. “Ow!” she complained, even though the hit did not hurt at all. She rubbed the top of her head as if it was sore, though. Getting hit with something rolled up was new, she noted.

“Give it to me,” the master commanded.

The redhead pouted again while handing over the bag. Shego snatched the bag away and went back to her room. Kim could not help feeling as if she had been set up and she had gone for it like a fish to bait.

The redhead marched back up to her loft, which was begging to be cluttered again like it used to be, at least in her opinion. She guessed that she would have to give that time like everything else. Her space looked so empty to her olive green eyes because it only had her thin mattress and covers along with a couple of cuddle buddies. She had a small bin to keep her clothes, but none of her books.

“Pumpkin,” Shego called after a few minutes.

“Yes?” Kim answered.

“Did you take a shower yet?”

“Nope.”

“So … how about you take a bath and I’ll shampoo your hair in the tub,” the pale woman proposed.

“Yeah?” Kim asked in a surprised tone. They used to do things like that all the time, but had not done that since she returned.

“And clip your nails,” Shego added.

“Totally spanking,” the girl agreed.

Kim leaped down from her space and took her mistress up on her offer with a grin. It seemed like Shego was doing her best to get Kim back into the swing of things. After a bath, a shampooing, and having her nails clipped, they settled in the living room. They watched television while Shego brushed Kim’s soft hair. The girl sighed, a very content sound. Shego made being a pet just about the closest thing to heaven on Earth, the eccentric hero thought.

“So, what’s the bag? More cat ears? I’ve still got the old ones,” Kim reported.

“You do?” the emerald-eyed woman asked, slightly surprised.

“Yeah, I kept them because I kept wearing them,” the redhead replied with a cute, small smile. She wore the costume cat ears often, liking that they garnered attention and Monique believed them to be a great push in fashion.

Shego only shook her head. Kim certainly seemed like the scatter-brained pet that she recalled. She considered that it might be wrong to think of the girl as scatter-brained just because she liked getting attention from her owner, making her a happy pet. Kim was a pet and pets were supposed to like it when their masters paid them mind, Shego reminded herself.

“So, can we open the bag now?” the redhead requested with a grin.

“When I’m done grooming you,” Shego answered.

Kim puffed out her cheeks to show her annoyance. It was so much easier to play the spoiled pet when her owner was acting not only like she was the one in complete charge, but acted like Kim was just a pet. Shego ignored her little pest, recollecting that her brat was very spoiled. She was going to work on showing that she was the dominate force in the house, even though she remembered that Kim liked to challenge her authority with whining, tantrums, pouting, and other weapons to get her way. The redhead was going to be just a pet again in Shego’s mind no matter what, the pale woman promised herself because that was all Kim was.

“All right,” the elder woman said as she put down the brush. The redhead thought that her hair benefited greatly from being a pet because Shego took terrific care of her red-orange mane.

“We can open the bag now?” Kim asked eagerly. She was sincerely curious about the contents of the mysterious container. Only being around Shego could make her act the way that she was at the moment.

“Yes, we can open the damn bag now,” Shego sighed. She had forgotten how irksome her little monster could be with all her damnable energy.

Shego grabbed the bag while Kim turned around with a huge smile plastered on her face. Sometimes, even Kim was amazed by the feelings that flowed through her while she was in Shego’s presence. She was not usually so gleeful, but she found that her mistress made her that way and she had to manifest it or she was certain that she would burst.

“Okay, first, we’ve got treats,” Shego informed her pet as she pulled out a box of Kim’s favorite butter cookies. The redhead reached for them immediately, but the green-skinned woman held them out of her range.

“I’ve got to do tricks for those, don’t I?” Kim guessed.

“Of course.”

“Okay!” Kim saluted, ready to do some pet tricks for some cookies.

“Roll over,” Shego commanded.

Kim made a face, like she was insulted by the simple trick. She rolled over while Shego shook her head because of the face that her pet had the nerve to make. Kim righted herself and waited for her next command.

“Play dead,” the pale woman ordered.

Kim smiled and clutched her heart. She tipped over in a very melodramatic fashion to show that she was very “dead.” After a couple of seconds, she sat back up and faced her mistress again.

“Sit,” Shego said and Kim sat right in front of her. “And, speak,” the pale woman added.

“Woof,” the redhead said with confidence.

“Good girl,” Shego said while rubbing the head of her obedient pet. She then handed the girl one cookie.

“Just one?” Kim asked in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“That is ferociously wrong. I did four tricks and I did them good. I should get four cookies,” the redhead argued.

“You’ll get what I give you and like it,” the master declared. She was the one in charge, after all. Her word was law in the house.

Kim pouted. Shego then tossed the bag at her sulking runt for Kim to look through it. The girl dumped the contents out of the bag and noticed two items instantaneously. They looked like chokers, but upon closer inspection they appear to be collars. They were nice collars, but collars nonetheless. There was a grass green one with a heart-shaped tag hanging from it that read “Princess.” Then there was a black one with an oval-shaped tag with the label “Pumpkin.” And then she saw a long, grass green leash. She looked up at her mistress.

“Dog collars?” Kim asked. She knew that she was a pet and she understood that. Was it necessary for her to wear a collar?

“Pet collars. You are a pet, after all. I want you to wear one of those at all times. We’re going to go for a walk tomorrow. Maybe even play a little Frisbee in the park,” the pale woman replied. She was more than aware of what Kim was to her if the girl was wearing a collar and on a leash.

Kim did not know if she should cheer or not. She liked going outside with her master like any other pet would, but she would more than likely have to go out on a leash like any other pet would. Her mistress was becoming a sadist, she thought with another pout. She was probably going to have to catch the Frisbee in her mouth like a dog, too, she thought sullenly.

She was beginning to wish that she were a house cat. It would be less embarrassing to be a house cat. She hoped that they worked their way back to the routine where she only had to hold Shego’s hand when they left the house; that was back at a time when Shego was certain that if she let her pet out of her sight, the girl would somehow get killed. Kim did not mind that because she adored holding hands with Shego. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Shego walked Kim to the park on her leash. She noted that her girl did not look humiliated at all. Shego could only wonder why that was. She never knew what was going on in that girl’s obviously mixed-up head.

Kim had decided if her being on a leash made Shego happy and did not hurt her in any way, then she was all right with it. She hoped that it was just a once-in-a-while sort of thing, but she would do it everyday if necessary to get back into their routine. She also tried to calculate the odds of running into someone that she knew because in her current situation, it would certainly make for an awkward moment. She especially hoped that the universe was not looking to be funny that day.

“All right, let’s let you go, so you can catch this stupid ass Frisbee without tripping,” Shego commented and she unclipped the leash from the redhead’s collar. Kim was wearing the collar that advertised her as “Pumpkin” that day.

“Should I do some stretching first?” the girl joked.

“Go get it,” the raven-haired woman commanded as she flung the toy disk with all of her might, just like she used to do.

Kim charged off without further comment, going after the Frisbee with the same zeal as she used to do. She actually could not recall the last time that she and Shego played Frisbee. She probably would never tell anybody, but she really found the activity fun, especially since it got on Shego’s nerves. Frisbee was one thing that Kim knew actually irked her mistress, but it was not a stressful type of annoyance. It was the type when Shego was doing something that she thought was stupid, but enjoyed just because Kim was having a good time.

The pair got into the Frisbee routine as if they played it just last week. Kim was confident that she and her mistress would be all right just for a few minutes of playtime. They would be just as they were before as long as they put the effort into it, which was fine by the redhead for now because she wanted to be near Shego any way that she could.

“Why the hell does she still like this dumb ass activity?” the pale woman wondered aloud as she waited for her pet to bring back the flying disk.

She could not figure out what her girl saw in running around for a plastic circle that she did not even get to throw back. Kim merely found the Frisbee and then ran about to Shego to return the toy to her mistress’ hand and waited for Shego to throw it again. She had to stop thinking about the idiotic pet of hers and trying to understand what happened in that girl’s brain, she told herself because she was certain that she would never comprehend the little do-gooder.

Honestly, she could not figure out why Kim would want to be her pet again and she believed that was messing with her ability to treat Kim as such. She had to come to a conscious decision to think of Kim on her own terms rather than what the rest of the world did. That was what Kim liked about her, after all. So, she was trying to do that and Kim was making it easy with her behavior. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim went hunting for the Frisbee. Her mistress had flung that thing really good right into some bushes. She usually found the toy within a couple of minutes, but was not so lucky at the moment. She then stopped looking for the plastic disk when she came face to face with a trio that she really did not wish to see ever again.

“You guys,” Kim gasped as she stood before Team Impossible. _Why the hell are they in the park_ , her brain asked her as if she had the answer to that.

“You again,” Dash Damond huffed when he took noticed of the girl. He saw sick of seeing the little busybody redhead.

Kim noted that the team was in street clothes. Did they take days off? She had no idea and she really did not want to bother with asking. She hoped that if they did take days off then that meant they would not chase her for once.

“Um … bye,” the girl bid them farewell. She was not looking to try her luck, especially with people that once drugged her and left her unconscious body in a box for anyone to find. Hey, it seemed like the universe was trying to make a joke at her expense and she really had little desire to be a punch line, so she took off running.

The redheaded hero was fairly quick, much to the dismay of the trio. They had experience in chasing after her and it was not fun, but they had to catch her and teach her a lesson so she could learn to keep out of their affairs. They took off after her.

Kim looked back just to make sure that they were running after her and she was not sprinting in vain. They were after her, which she expected them to be. _Why are they always hounding me?_ She never did anything to them. They did not have a monopoly on helping people, after all. Well, as far as she knew, they did not, but they seemed to think otherwise. If they did have saving people on lock, she had not gotten the memo. She bolted right to Shego without thinking and hid behind her like a frightened puppy would.

“Where’s the fucking thing?” Shego asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I couldn’t find it,” Kim answered.

“Then what the hell are you doing back here?”

“Trying not to get hurt by them,” the redhead answered while pointing at the approaching triad of muscular men. Shego frowned at the team as they walked up to her. She bet that they were about to prove that steroids blocked oxygen to the brain and they could not think properly. The trio stopped in front of the emerald-eyed female.

“What the hell do you want?” Shego asked.

“Give us the girl,” Dash demanded.

“What the hell for?”

“That’s none of your concern,” he replied.

“I’m making it my fucking concern, jackass. This is the second time I’ve seen you fucking pricks chasing her. What the hell did she do?” the woman demanded. She recalled that the last time that she saw them chasing her pet, they had the nerve to claim that Kim broke the law. _What a crotch_ , she thought now because she knew what kind of person her little pest was.

Shego had been curious for a long while about that night that she saw Team Impossible pursuing her pet. _What the hell did my little monster do to them?_ She doubted that it was anything major because she was all too aware that they had a tendency to be very go-hard assholes.

“We don’t like her hanging around in the city that we live in. She’s just going to do her usual vigilantly act and eventually get hurt,” Dash explained.

“Don’t act like you’re being compassionate. You guys got me beaten up and then you drugged me up and abandoned me in a box. I’ve never been seriously hurt until I met you jerks,” Kim argued.

“Oh, these bastards are the ones that dumped you in my fucking life. I should kick their asses big time for that,” Shego remarked with a smirk.

“Would you?” Kim requested because she doubted that they would leave her alone unless they had a reason to stay away from her.

“No,” Shego answered bluntly. “Look, Team Testosterone, just leave her alone. She’s only a kid. Just because you guys have a federal grant to catch criminals and fight crime and shit doesn’t give you the right to try and squeeze her out of the business. Why don’t you go somewhere and have your two boyfriends shine your fucking head?” the pale woman commented, looking directly at Dash.

“Hey, I can have your badge pulled, officer,” the bald man threatened Shego, or at least he thought that he was threatening her. She was rather infamous around town, being a malcontent special officer and everything. There was always a rumor going around that she was just one incident away from being fired.

“I can shove my badge up your ass if you like, but knowing you jerk-offs, you’d probably enjoy it,” she retorted with a sinister smirk. She thought that she could learn to hate these bastards if given enough time and dialogue because she seriously did not have the patience for their crap. She knew that they were arrogant and pushy, but they were pushing the wrong person.

“You’d better watch it,” Crash warned the green-skinned female.

“Or else what? You’ll cry?” she asked.

“Just hand her over,” Burn ordered.

“You guys want this girl? Are you sure that’s what you want?” Shego asked with a mischievous half-smile. Today was about to get so much less boring.

“Give her up,” the huge redheaded man commanded.

“Fine, you guys can have the girl,” Shego conceded and she threw her hands up to show that she gave up.

“What?” Kim inquired in disbelief. Had her mistress lost her mind? Her mistress was supposed to protect her, right? An owner was supposed to make sure that her pet was safe and secure, not just give her away to people that would certainly do the pet harm, right?

“Sure, they can have you, Princess. It is what they went, after all. They are the big, bad heroes. Why deny the idiots what they want?” Shego asked with a devilish smirk on her face, hoping that her girl would get the idea.

“But, they’re on the same side as the good guys … sort of,” Kim argued. She got what her mistress wanted her to do, but it was kind of against her nature to do such a thing.

“Well, if you want dessert tonight, you’ll get them,” Shego replied. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: See what happens to Team Impossible and Kim gets a pet. Yes, Kim gets a pet. What kind of pet does a pet get and what does a pet do with a pet?


	3. Dilemma Three: Enter the dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise. Believe it.

Dilemma Three: Enter the dog

_My girl’s an annoying creature. She doesn’t do what I say. So, what do I keep her around for? She can be entertaining as hell if given the chance._

Kim was in a bit of a bind. Her mistress wanted her to fight with Team Impossible. Normally, the redhead would never consider going up against people that were on the right side of the law, even if they were arrogant, giant jerks that chased her on three separate occasions and the first time they had left her abandoned in a box while she was beaten up and unconscious thanks to them drugging her. But, she could not disobey her master.

There was also the fact that Kim had dessert riding on her listening to Shego’s orders or doing what she typically did when faced with Team Impossible. Now, she understood that Shego had a reason for making her go against the pricks after her. Shego actually had two reasons, it would be entertaining to see her pet fighting and the girl needed to face up to those muscle-heads to show them that they were the ones that were lucky that she usually ran when she saw them. Kim believed that it was wrong to do battle with good guys, but she was not about to miss out on dessert for them. After all, what if it was pie? She was not going to be denied freshly baked, hot-out-of-the-oven pie for three guys that wanted nothing more than to hurt her for no reason at all. Besides, she was getting the chance to show them that they were actually the lucky ones whenever she ran away. Maybe it would keep them from bothering her again. 

“All right, guys, I guess you got me,” Kim conceded as she stepped from behind her mistress.

The green-skinned woman smirked when her pet moved. She wanted to see the girl in action. She had researched the redhead beyond her website for a while after she had set Kim free. She wanted to see if Kim was more legend than for real. She also wanted to better understand her pet and see if the girl might be something that she could actually be proud of.

Shego fought the temptation to order her girl to attack. To her, it showed that she had some self-control because it took a lot of effort to not say “sic’ ‘em.” She hoped that Kim did well in the battle or else she would be annoyed with her creature and make sure that Kim spent the next few days cowering underneath her box. She was aware of how odd her thinking was because she used to think that her pet was such a helpless, pathetic being, but now she knew that truth. She would be irked if her pet fell short of her hype.

Kim stood before Team Impossible. She crouched into her fighting stance, hands up and ready to go. Shego nodded in approval just from that. The redhead’s stance was strong with no openings. And then the little hero got to work, springing into action like a coiled viper.

“My mother would love this brat,” Shego muttered as she watched Kim go at Team Impossible, who seemed to be stunned that she was moving the way that she was. Shego guessed that they thought she was all hype since she had run every time that she came face to face with them.

Burn was the first one to catch it from Kim. She hit the brawny redhead with a three hit combination that he did not even see coming it would seem because he did not even put his hands up to block. She ended the assault by kicking him on the chin, causing him to stumble back and collapse.

Shego nearly applauded, but she decided against doing that. She did not want her pet to get a big head. She was glad to see those egomaniacs get caught for once because they got on her nerves just because they thought that they were so hot. Part of her liked seeing Team Impossible get beaten up just because they reminded her of her older brother. She bet that idiot would fit right in with the haughty trio.

Crash tried to get Kim from behind right after she finished off Burn. She knew he was coming and flipped him over her shoulder as soon as he was close enough for her to grab. He grunted on impact with the dirt while Kim stepped back. The girl gave her opponent a chance to get up. Shego would have dug into his ribs with her foot while he was on the ground just to teach him a lesson. The brunette male was on his feet within seconds and put his hands up to show that he was ready to seriously go at it.

“That was lucky,” Crash declared.

“You think?” Kim asked with a smirk.

Crash went at the petite heroine to show that he truly believed that she lucked out on throwing him. She avoided his punches with ease. She slipped by him and seemed to taunt him by not attacking back.

Shego arched an eyebrow and smirked slightly; her mother would definitely love her pet. Kim was like rough waters while fighting. She moved fluidly, but they were still powerful motions and that was just while she was dodging. She thought that her girl would have been more like a dancer while fighting, as in her movements would seem more like a cloud or a mist, just something less violent. The pale woman, of course, liked the rough waters to the cloud or mist.

Kim went at Crash’s torso once she was through dipping all of his attacks. She punched him in the chest and Shego thought it was strange for some reason. She would have thought that her pet was more into palm strikes, but it seemed that she was wrong again. She wondered how long the girl had trained and refined her style because she looked, well, good. Shego thought that Kim might even offer her a bit of a challenge and she had never thought that about someone if she was seven years their senior, which was the case with Kim.

The redhead floored Crash and then turned her attention to the big man in charge, Dash. The bald man did not look affected by the fact that his two partners were just dropped by a girl, a skinny girl at that.

“Baldy, maybe you should just give up,” Shego suggested, not just to make fun of the guy either. It just seemed like the smarter thing to do at that point and she doubted that someone from Team Impossible would even think of the smart thing to do.

“Hey, she’s just a kid,” Dash argued.

“Actually, she’s a little monster,” Shego replied.

“Whatever,” he scoffed.

“Fine, go get him, little monster,” the raven-haired woman commanded in an amused tone.

The redhead obliged her mistress and went right at the bald man. Kim changed her movements it seemed when going at Dash. Shego even recognized the exact style of martial arts her pet was using against the man. Dash seemed to identify the moves, too, so he smiled condescendingly as he dodged her strikes. And then she suddenly changed again and caught him by surprise with a flip kick to his dome. He staggered back a bit, but he remained on his feet.

“We do that move in cheerleading mostly,” Kim informed the man while trying to ignore a part of her brain pointing out how wrong it was for her to be fighting with a good guy. She definitely should not be taunting a good guy while fighting him. She thought that she might be taking the “obedient pet” thing too far if it meant that she was going to have to fight with people that were on the side of justice.

Despite her thoughts, the hero continued to go at the large man. He was not much of a challenge. He was better than his two partners, but that was not saying much. His partners were like five-year-olds and he was like a ten-year-old, a huge different to children, but nothing to her.

Kim moved around and ended the combat swiftly with a couple of combinations that Dash saw coming, but he could not do anything to stop them. She ended up putting him on his back in the dirt just like his two friends. She turned to grin at her master, even though she did not feel so proud of herself.

“I guess that’ll teach them,” Shego commented while looking down at Team Impossible. She had to admit that her pet was something else to have taken those idiots out without any trouble. Despite what they showed in the park, they were really elite fighters and she knew that. Well, she now knew that her little monster was somewhere above elite when it came to combat.

“Shego, I don’t think this was right,” Kim replied while looking around at her handiwork. She was feeling worse by the second.

“Of course it was. Jackasses like these bastards deserve everything that they dish out. Just because they bring in criminals, that doesn’t make them good guys. It just makes them businessmen. They’re bounty hunters and they’d do just about anything to get their bounty, which you know first hand. Would you ever do what they did to you to someone else?” the pale woman inquired.

“Well, no,” Kim answered.

“Because you’re good. You’re not in the grey area of good and bad like these assholes. You’re pretty much completely good. You’re a good girl. In fact, you deserve some pizza.”

“Yeah?” the girl asked. Pizza counted as pasta to her and pasta equal heaven to her stomach.

Her mistress’ words made sense to her, Kim mentally conceded. She knew that the world was not cut straight into good guys and bad guys, but sometimes that was how she thought and she knew that was naïve on her part. Maybe she would learn differently living with her master again; living with Shego was a learning experience, after all.

The redhead could not think too long on the words because Shego attached the leash back to her collar. Shego tugged her pet off for some pizza. Kim yelped a little because of the surprise pull. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Kim felt pretty good about herself thanks to the day that she just had and she had not even saved anyone or something. She did not stop any insane plots to take over the world. She had not recovered any stolen goods. She had not even rescued a kitten out of a tree. What did she do? She met with a graduate advisor of the biology department in Go University.

She decided that she was definitely going to Go University. Its biology department was respected worldwide and there were a lot of options for someone like her, who had no idea what she wanted to focus on exactly. The professors that she met were nice and easy to talk to. The labs that she had seen were mind-blowing. So, she was definitely going to go there. Besides, the graduate advisor had sat with her for well over an hour and had not even glanced at her collar. So, yes, it definitely was a good day.

She decided to take a short cut home because she wanted to get back there as soon as possible and tell Shego about the meeting. It did not even register to her glee-filled brain that Shego was still at work and would not be home for another couple of hours. She hopped a wire fence and landed in an alleyway. She strolled through the narrow, filthy passageway like it was nothing, even though she was more than aware of how dangerous Go City could be. She heard a noise behind her and turned around on her guard. There was nothing behind her.

“Maybe I’m just bugging out,” Kim considered.

The hero dropped her hands and continued on her way about three steps before she heard the noise a second time. She turned around rapidly, hands up, and ready to throw down again. She remained on guard for a few seconds and then relaxed when nothing happened. She laughed at herself, thinking that she was just getting paranoid. She just shook it off.

“I’m probably hallucinating,” the young woman told herself.

Kim tried to continue on her way, but then she heard the noise a third time. Now, she was certain that she was not going crazy. She listened for a few seconds and scanned around the alley. There were some garage containers and a lot of trash littering the floor, but that was about all. She did not see anything for a few seconds, but then a bag started moving. She put her hands up, just in case someone came out of the pile of junk. The bag moved again and now Kim was ready to rumble. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego came into the house and heard her pet laughing. She wondered what was so funny, so she went to check it out. She went to the living room and frowned at the sight that she saw. Kim was sitting on the floor with a puppy and she was allowing it to tug on a jet-black cloth.

“Is that one of my hand towels?” Shego demanded with a scowl as she got a good look at onyx-colored cloth that the little pup was yanking on. Kim was holding onto one end of the towel and the canine had the other end in his mouth.

“Huh? Oh, hi, Shego,” Kim grinned when she noticed her mistress. She was so involved with the dog that it failed to hit her brain that her master did not look happy in the least.

The older woman snarled. “Don’t ‘hi’ me and don’t give me that stupid ass smile. What the fuck is that filthy mutt doing in my house?”

“You mean Leonardo? He’s not filthy anymore. He’s had a nice bath and he was perfect all the way through it. He’s having fun now. Aren’t you, boy?” Kim said while giving the towel a slight tug and the puppy pulled back.

“Get my good towel out of his fucking mouth. Do you have an idea how much that shit cost? Matter of fact, get his nasty ass out of here,” Shego ordered.

“But, he doesn’t have any place to go!” the redhead whined while grabbing up the puppy, which she had named Leonardo because he had white spots at the end of his muzzle that reminded her of an old man’s beard, which led her to thinking of the great renaissance artist.

“So what? What does this look like, the fucking pound?” the emerald-eyed woman countered.

“But, Shego!” Kim wailed.

“Throw him out now or I’ll throw the both of you out,” the super-powered female threatened her obviously airhead pet. Well, it was obvious to her anyway.

“But, Shego!”

“What?” the ebony-haired woman growled while igniting her hands in sheer fury.

“He’s homeless. Can’t I keep him?” the girl requested with a cute pout.

“Let me get this straight, you’re a pet that wants a pet?” Shego inquired. What even made her little monster think that she was responsible enough to care of a dog? She knew that if she did let the redhead keep the puppy, she would end up taking care of it and she was not about to take care of two monsters.

“Yes.” Kim nodded and smiled.

“No.”

The olive-eyed female pouted, even though she knew that her powers usually did not move her owner. But, that pout was different than her usual one; it was a full force, no-holds-bar, puppy-dog pout, but even that had no affect on her mistress. Shego was not moved by the pitiful expression that her pet was wearing, so Kim added to her tactic.

The redhead figured that she would need to look extra-pathetic in order to change her mistress’ mind. She lifted Leonardo up to her face and held him there. She began whimpering and the puppy copied her, making them a pair of extremely pitiful creatures in the eyes of Shego.

“Damn you, Princess. You can keep for now, but you’d better start looking for a permanent home for that mutt. We’re not keeping him for too long,” Shego declared in a huff.

“Spanking!” Kim cheered and she hugged the little dog. “See, you get the stay, Leo.” The puppy barked in gratitude it seemed.

“No, he gets to stay for a limited amount of time and you get to look for a home for him. You’d better find a home fast.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kim replied and she saluted while smiling. Shego growled in aggravation and marched to her bedroom to get away from her pet and her pet’s temporary pet. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim entered Bueno Nacho, meeting up with her friends to chill and talk about her meeting with the graduate advisor the other day. She had Leonardo with her because Shego did not trust the “little mutt” in her house by himself. Kim had come to understand that her master did not like Leonardo, even though he was a very well behaved puppy. Shego did not seem fond of dogs at all, not just Leonardo.

“Hey, guys,” Kim greeted Ron, Yori, and Monique. She eased into the booth next to Monique.

Now, the friends knew to brace themselves almost whenever Kim sat down last. Kim was the surprising person of their group, which said a lot about her since they were a clique with a ninja and a master of monkey kung-fu, not to mention a hairless rodent. It took a lot of effort on Kim’s part to be the one they all guessed with, they all thought.

Even though they knew about Kim’s ability to make their mouths drop open in disbelief, they still had not been quite as prepared as they thought they were. They candidly gawked at her as soon as she sat down. She was too busy petting Leonardo to notice their stares. She was glad that Bueno Nacho never thought to post a sign forbidding animals in the place. Rufus frowned at the dog; he was the only four-legged member of the group.

“Um … K.P, you do know you’re wearing a collar, right?” Ron inquired just to be sure. There was always a chance that someone had sneaked up on her and belled her like a cat. Sure, it was a slim chance, but there was still a chance.

“Of course,” Kim answered. How could she not know that she was wearing a collar, she wondered.

“It say’s Princess on it in a little heart. Let me guess, Shego got it for you,” Monique said while trying her best to control herself and not make fun of her good friend. Damn it if Kim did not make it so easy, though.

“Yup. Leo’s wearing my other one,” the redhead replied while rubbing the top of the puppy’s head. It almost looked like he was smiling from the attention.

“Why do you have a dog, Kim?” Yori asked because that was stranger to her than Kim wearing a collar. After all, the redhead was already a pet herself, therefore, she should not have a pet, the Japanese girl reasoned.

“I found him the other day. Isn’t he a cute little guy?” the hero replied.

“That he is,” the ninja concurred.

“I can’t keep him, though,” Kim informed her friends.

“Why not? It’s not like your house has a ‘no pet’ policy,” Monique quipped.

“Shego doesn’t seem to like the little guy at all. She gave me a month to find him a home or she’s just going to throw him out the window she said. Do you guys need a dog? Leonardo’s really great,” Kim advertised the tiny pooch.

“Leonardo? You named your dog after a ninja turtle?” Ron asked in a bit of a bemused voice. He did not see why anyone would name a dog after a cartoon, crime-fighting turtle.

“Kim, where the hell did you get this boy from?” Monique teased the blond boy.

“Ron, he’s not named after the ninja turtle. He’s named after the same guy as the turtle, though, the great artist, inventor, and thinker Leonardo Da Vinci. See, the little white on the side of his nose reminded me of an old man’s beard and I thought about Da Vinci’s self portrait,” the hero explained.

“You think of an old man’s beard and go straight to Da Vinci?” the chocolate-eyed girl asked incredulously.

“Do you really want to go down the path of how my mind works?” the redhead countered.

“I can see your point. That path must be pretty twisted,” Monique countered.

“Anyway, do you guys need a dog? He’s adorable and he’s housebroken already. It didn’t take much to teach him that, so he’s smart, too,” Kim said. It did not take him long to get housebroken because of Shego more than likely. She was so tough on the little guy, Kim thought.

“Are you certain that he doesn’t already belong to someone?” Yori asked.

“He didn’t have any tags or anything. I’m guessing that none of you guys need a dog, though,” Kim replied with a pout. She was hoping that someone she knew would take Leonardo and she could continue seeing him that way.

“No, we’re used to naked animals,” Ron remarked while motioning to Rufus, who grinned and nodded.

“It’s all right. We’ll find you a decent home, Leo.” The redhead kissed the top of her pup’s head.

“So, how’d things go on your interview?” Monique inquired.

Kim went into telling her friends how everything went and about how nice the man that she talked to was. The thing that she liked best about him was that he accepted her “I don’t know” answer to plenty of his questions and just pointed out that biology branched off into many fields. She had time to think about what she wanted to do as long as she started out with the basic classes before finding something that she wanted to concentrate on. He invited her back to talk with him anytime that she wanted to help her narrow down what she wanted to do and she liked that.

“That’s really great,” all three friends said simultaneously once Kim was done explaining what went on.

“Yeah, so, I might see you guys around campus,” Kim stated with a smiled.

“As long as you’re in school, that’s good enough for us,” Ron informed his best friends and the ladies agreed wholeheartedly.

The redhead continued to smile because she was glad that not only did she have friends that cared about what she did with her life, but that she was able to make them happy by moving forward in life. Kim appreciated that about her friends, even though it could be a little irksome. It was just that she was aware that many people would not genuinely care about her future like they did.

“Oh, and just to let you know, I will be dragging you to all kinds of parties now,” Ron added.

“You need to hit the books, bright boy. Did you see his GPA last term?” Monique asked the other two girls.

“She is right. Ron-kun, you cannot party this semester,” Yori informed her boyfriend.

“Aw, man!” the boy groaned.

“Shut down,” Rufus squeaked. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim sat in the living room with Leonardo. She had been trying to figure out what kind of dog the puppy was for a while now. He looked like a spaniel of some kind in her non-expert opinion. His coat was getting longer and starting to feather out at the front legs like most spaniels’ coats did. But, there were several problems with that conclusion and the first was that she highly doubted anyone would throw away a perfectly good spaniel of any kind because they made good family pets. It would have been a better idea to sell him if he was a spaniel.

“You look like a spaniel, kinda, but then again, you don’t,” Kim muttered while scratching underneath the dog’s chin.

The other problems were that Leonardo had erect ears, which she knew were not the trait of any spaniel. The little whiskers growing off the side of his muzzle that reminded her of a beard was also not a spaniel characteristic. His muzzle also seemed a bit too narrow for him to be a spaniel, but it was all in her non-expert opinion.

He was sporting a coat that was an orange kind of color, also a reddish brown color mixed in, which was something that she thought was a spaniel trait. She decided to cease thinking on it and just take the pup to a vet some day soon. She guessed that after taking him to a vet, she would then find out what kind of dog he was. Yeah, she was going to take the little puppy to the veterinarian and make sure that he was all right. She would not want to give a sick canine to a willing household.

“After the vet, I’ll get you a treat,” Kim declared. She thought that was what Shego would do if she ever had to go to the doctor. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego stood in the entrance of the living room. She was watching her pet, who was trying to teach Leonardo to roll over. The pup was looking at Kim with his head tilted to one side, like he was asking what in the hell was Kim doing. She was rolling around on the floor to be an example for the pooch. Leonardo was not going for it, though.

“I guess he’s smarter than her,” the pale woman commented under her breath while eyeing her pet and the canine.

“Come on, Leo. Roll over, like this,” Kim implored the dog and she rolled over yet again. He still seemed to be wondering what in the world was wrong with her.

“Should I give you a cookie for this little show?” the raven-haired woman inquired as she stepped into the living room. The redhead sat up to look at her mistress.

“Why’s he not rolling over?” Kim wondered loud with a pout.

“Maybe he’s just having fun watching you make an ass out of yourself. I know I am. No luck finding him a home yet?”

“Nah-uh. Does anybody at your job want a dog? You can tell them that he’s really cute and well trained.”

“Well trained in what? Watching his master make a sheer ass out of herself?” Shego remarked.

“Leo, you’re making me look bad in front of my mistress. Come on, roll over,” Kim begged the pup. He continued to regard her with a tilted head.

“You’re a sad sight, Princess. You’ve never had a dog before, have you?”

“Well … no, I haven’t. I never had time for pets. I was always too busy doing a bunch of things,” the younger woman answered.

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. I still want that little rat out of here by the end of the month, so don’t get it in your head that you’re going to keep him. You’d better find a home for him or find him some wings,” Shego reiterated. She made sure to keep reminding her little monster that they were not going to keep that tiny ball of fluff no matter what. At the end of the month that dog was going to be gone, either through the window or in someone’s arms.

Kim sighed because her owner really seemed to hate Leonardo. She had to continue to search for someone to take him in because she did not want things to boil down to seeing if Shego would seriously fling him out of the window as she continued to threaten to do. The redhead wondered why it seemed like no one in the world wanted a puppy, except for her of course. He was a good dog. Anybody would be lucky to have him, she thought. Shego would disagree. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego was attempting to clean the apartment. Her pet had gone all out for that bleeding mutt and they both seemed to be ruining the apartment with pet crap. There were dog grooming tools on the floor along with chew toys, balls, and two leashes; one for Kim and one for Leonardo. There was a little pet bed in the corner by Kim’s box, but Leonardo used his bed just as often as Kim used hers. Leonardo tended to sleep in the girl’s bed, curling up next to her. Shego refused to allow a flea-magnet in her bed, not that it seemed to occur to Kim to take Leonardo and try to get into Shego’s bed yet. 

The raven-haired woman leaned down to pick up one of the puppy’s pull toys to discover that the tiny beast was awake. He and Kim had been sleeping on the sofa, but it seemed that only the girl was sleeping now. Leonardo went right for the toy and started gnawing at it while Shego was trying to put it away. The super-powered woman scowled.

“I’m not looking to play with you, mutt. Now, let the fucking thing go, so I can put it away,” the apartment owner demanded, but Leonardo did not let go. He continued to yank on the plaything. Shego made a fist in annoyance; she really hated dogs, pups especially. “Goddamn it, you let this thing go now or so help me,” she growled, but that did not get the puppy to let go. _I hate you so much, right now_.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Leonardo continues to get on Shego’s last nerve. What will be done with the irksome, yet cute pup? Is he really all that irksome or is it just Shego?


	4. Dilemma Four: Mongrel Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise either.

Dilemma Four: Mongrel Connection

_Wow, having Leonardo around is great. I wonder if this is how I make my mistress feel. I hope it’s something even better than this. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but I am a human and I want her to notice that._

Shego was trying her best to ignore Leonardo, her annoying pet’s annoying mutt. He desired to play while she was attempting to clean up both his junk and Kim’s crap. The puppy’s temporary owner was knocked out on the sofa, so since he could not play with her, he seemed to decide that the emerald-eyed woman was the next best thing. She would beg to differ. She was fighting the ever-increasing urge to flare up her hands and fry the little beast, and maybe even serve him to his irksome keeper.

“Leo, if you don’t stop yanking at my fucking pants, you’re going to regret it,” Shego promised the pup with a deep growl.

Leonardo did not seem to care or understand the words that were coming out of her mouth. He merrily bounced around the woman was she cleaned up, remaining underfoot both figuratively and literally. Every time she picked up one of his toys, he grabbed for it and started playfully fighting for it. Every time he reached for a toy, she felt like yanking him up by the scruff of the neck and flinging him into a wall. Damn puppies and their damn energy. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego went to work, got prepared for action, did not get any action, and went to sit down at her desk while silently cursing fate for not giving her something to do. She wanted something to take her mind off of how much she wanted to skin that stupid mutt in her house, not to mention rag out her own monster for enjoying having the beast around. She yawned and then frowned. Oh, how she hated that little nasty canine. 

“Stupid little…” She tore herself away from her desk, thinking that moving around might help keep her mind off of the dog. Eventually, though, she flung herself into a different chair.

The raven-haired woman ended up nodding off in the chair that she crashed in. Her coworkers did not bother to wake her up since life was so much more tolerable, simple, and almost pleasant when she was unconscious. They did wonder what she did to make her so tired, but no one was going to take the trouble to ask.

“Shego,” Doctor Director called while sticking her head out of her office.

The boss was surprised when she did not get an immediate response. She scanned the area, but she did not see her cranky friend. Shego usually seemed to materialize out of nowhere when the boss beckoned her because she was always looking to beat someone down and she knew that was why Betty called for her.

“Shego,” the one-eyed woman repeated and she arched an eyebrow when she did not get a response a second time.

The chief did not have time to waste to go looking for Shego. Besides, that was not her job. She just gave the assignment to someone else and hoped for the best while going about her business. When the next emergency came up, she tried to get her old friend again, but Shego did not respond again. She was seriously knocked out in her chair, but the supervisor did not care or have time to go find out the reason as to why her friend was not showing up.

“What do you think happened to her?” DNAmy asked Drakken with concern in her eyes. They were staring at Shego because it was surprising to see her asleep.

No one really knew that Shego slept. They all considered that she might not require rest like normal human beings did. She was not a normal human, after all. She did have those super powers and everything. So, many people considered that there might be some supernatural things to her thanks to her powers. They knew that she could take a lot of punishment and that she healed quickly, so there was always the chance that she did not need sleep, they reasoned.

“I don’t know what happened to her,” Drakken replied. No, not even he had seen Shego sleep. When he stayed over at her place, he was always the first one to fall asleep. By the time that he woke up, she was usually already making breakfast.

“Maybe we should go ask. Just to make sure she’s all right,” DNAmy suggested in her typical chipper tone.

“We don’t want to wake her up,” Drakken objected. He doubted that the pale woman would be happy if she was taken from a sleep that was so good that her mouth was dropped wide open.

“Nonsense!” the round woman giggled and she fearlessly started toward Shego. She tapped the thinner woman until she stirred. The male scientist decided to stay behind because he did not want to catch his girlfriend’s wrath. After all, unlike DNAmy, he had to see Shego outside of work.

“What? What?” Shego huffed. Could a person not get a nap at work without people actually waking her up?

“I was just wondering if you’re all right,” the merry female explained with a grin.

“Am I bleeding a small ocean?” Shego countered.

“No.”

“Then I must be fine,” the officer pointed out.

“But, you’re sleeping,” the large woman riposted.

“No kidding,” Shego muttered. She was surrounded by damn idiots and annoyances, both a home and at work. In a little while, she might have to consider checking into a motel just for a few hours alone.

“So, I thought that something might be wrong,” DNAmy stated.

“Yeah, the fact that I’m not sleeping anymore.”

“No, silly-billy, I meant, something else. Like, why are you sleeping at work?” the female scientist inquired, obviously oblivious to or immune to Shego’s foul attitude.

“Probably because I’m tried,” Shego snapped.

She had not gotten any sleep for a few days because last night and a couple of nights before that, Kim had actually tried to crawl into her bed. It would not have been so terrible if her little monster had not been attempting to get into the bed with that filthy beast in her arms. The pale woman refused to share a bed with anything with fur, claws, and a wet nose. Now, she had stayed awake last night and since the first time Kim had tried that stupid mess. She just sat up in bed, keeping watch at the door to make sure that girl did not sneak into bed with that mutt.

“But, why are you so tired?” DNAmy inquired.

“What the hell business is it of yours?” the super-powered officer asked and then she realized who she was talking to, an animal lover to the tenth power. A light bulb went off in her head. “Amy, do you want a dog?” she asked with hope hidden in her emerald eyes, which had bags under them thanks to her week of sleepless nights.

“A dog?” the round woman echoed.

“Yeah, he’s a little puppy. He’s a happy critter, which is right up your alley. Not to mention he’s mixed,” Shego remarked. She hoped that the wide woman agreed to take that blasted pooch because she was sick of going home every day and watching her lunatic monster with that four-legged twister demolishing the house.

“You have a puppy? Didn’t you used to have a cat?” DNAmy asked curiously.

“Okay, I got rid of the cat, but she came back and now I’ve got this puppy,” Shego answered. She did not even want to know why Amy remembered the lie she told almost two years ago about having a cat that she never brought up again.

“You’re turning into a real animal lover. You’re family is growing,” DNAmy declared jubilantly.

“No, I’m not and no, it’s not. I’ve got growing pains in my ass. Do you want a dog?” the green-skinned female asked for a second time. She really wanted to get rid of Leonardo and she was hoping that Amy was the answer to her problem.

“Why don’t you want the little pup?”

“Because I hate dogs,” Shego answered bluntly.

“Why?” 

“Because,” she snapped. _Damn it to Hell and back, why the hell won’t this damn ball of a woman take the fucking dog_ , her mind screamed!

“Well, I’d like another dog, but I don’t think I have room. Maybe you should ask someone else around here. A lot of the people in the lab are lonely. They could use a happy puppy in their lives,” DNAmy informed Shego with a giggle.

Shego shook her head because she had no desire to talk with those freaks in the lab. She also did not want the world to know that she had a puppy. She did not want anyone to get the wrong idea, like she was going soft or something.

The pale woman had been hoping that Amy would be the answer to her troubles and take the stupid critter off of her hands. What was she going to do with that nasty dog? She was sick to death of that pup and she knew that the longer Leonardo was around, the more her trying brat would get the notion of keeping that flea-bitten annoyance. There was no way in hell that she was keeping that thing any longer than necessary, meaning at the end of the month, she was kicking Leonardo out on his fuzzy butt whether he had a home or not. She was not running a pound for crying out loud. 

-8-8-8-8- 

The pale officer returned home to find her pet with Leonardo, which had become the norm. It appeared that Kim was trying to teach Leonardo the command of “sit” now that he had finally conquered the vigorous training of “roll over.” The two pets did not seem to notice the mistress of the house enter, another thing that was normal around the apartment now. If one of the little mutants did notice her, it was generally Leonardo, much to her dismay.

Shego shook her head and walked to her bedroom to get comfortable in the house. She showered and tossed on her house clothes. She marched into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Before Leonardo showed up, Shego knew that her pet would have crawled into her lap by now, but Kim had not even noticed her mistress. Shego told herself that it did not bother her; she told herself that almost everyday.

“Hey, Shego, when did you get in?” Kim asked with a small smile while she was petting Leonardo.

Shego frowned; Kim did not even notice her come in. Usually, her pet knew that she was coming in before she even got to the door. Ever since that mutt, though, Kim had been acting like, well, a kid with a new pet. She even allowed Leonardo to lick her in the face and laugh all the way through it. It was disgusting; Shego was sick of having to watch the pair. She was sick of dealing with the pair. She was especially sick of cleaning up after the pair. She wanted that dog gone. The month could not end soon enough as far as she was concerned. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim sighed; it seemed like no one on the planet wanted a dog. She wished that she could just keep Leonardo, but the month was dragging on and Shego was not changing her stance on Kim keeping the puppy. She did not see why her owner hated their canine so much; yes, the redhead thought of Leonardo as their puppy, not just hers. He seemed to love Shego. Sometimes, Kim thought that he loved Shego more than he loved her.

Leonardo was always tugging at Shego’s pants’ leg, trying to get her attention. He was always trying to hop on the raven-haired woman. He was the one that woke up in the middle of the night whining, begging to get into Shego’s bed; all right, the hero conceded, maybe that was just the way she interpreted his late night cries. Either way, she did not see why Shego disliked their little dog. He was so cute and cuddly, like a living stuffed animal.

The redhead woke up the next day; it would be another day of searching for a home for their canine. She sat up and yawned. She noted that it was a bit cold. She crawled to the edge of the loft and noticed that the front door was open. There were a few grocery bags sitting just outside the door. She guessed that her keeper went shopping early in the morning.

Kim figured that she might as well help bring the bags in. It would give her a chance to go through them and see if Shego brought more of her favorite junk foods. She grabbed a couple of bags and then realized something rather important, which was that she had not woken up with Leonardo at her side. She shrugged; the puppy might have actually survived leaping down from the loft and gone to sleep in his own bed. He had done it once before.

The olive-eyed girl marched to the kitchen and put the bags down. On the way, she noted that Leonardo was not in his bed. She looked around kitchen and only saw Shego, who was putting things away into the cupboards. Kim’s face was covered with a puzzled expression.

“Shego, have you seen Leo?” Kim asked curiously while checking inside of the grocery bags. There was a chance that he was playing in one of the bags.

“No,” the pale woman answered plainly.

“I wonder where he is then. Did you get treats for him?”

“I did. Why the hell am I the one buying shit for that fucking mutt when he’s _your_ goddamn dog?” Shego huffed.

“Well, I spent all my money on toys and stuff,” the redhead pointed out in a light tone. She had broken her bank for the puppy.

“You’ve obviously got no head for money,” Shego said while shaking her head.

“You’re probably right,” Kim conceded. She had blown all her money on a dog that they were not even keeping, after all. But, then again, she did not have much money to begin with. “Leo, come on out, we’ve got food!” the girl announced.

Leonardo was much like his owner because he came whenever the word “food” was uttered, just like Kim. He recognized that word almost like it was his name, so Kim was a bit bewildered when he did not come to her. She looked around before deciding to call for him again.

“Leo!” Kim beckoned for the canine, but he did not show up, so she went off to look for him.

The redhead searched the whole apartment, including all of Leonardo’s favorite haunts. She checked in Shego’s closet and under her bed. She then looked in the linen closet, where he liked the warm sheets that rested in there that were folded on the floor, much to Shego’s dismay. She then checked in the bathroom because he liked to bark at the fixtures, but only when they were in use. She then checked the spare room, which was like a gym/study. There was exercise equipment in there along with a computer that Shego almost never used. He was not hiding in there and the last place that she checked, the laundry room, where he liked barking at the washer and dryer, again only when they were in use, and he liked the piles of clothing in there. He was not there either. And then, she got a very discouraging notion.

“Shego!” Kim called from near the loft.

“What?” the pale woman inquired in an annoyed tone.

“How long was the front door open?”

“I don’t know. A few minutes, I guess. Why?”

“I think Leo ran out of it. Why’d you leave the door open for so long?” Kim asked in a very sorrowful and upset tone.

“Hey, don’t talk to me like that. It’s not like I forced the fucking runt out of the door.”

“You might as well!”

“Hey!” Shego barked and then she stormed out to her distressed pet, wanting to let the girl know that she was out of line face to face. Then she saw Kim’s forlorn face and she sighed. “Look, Princess, he couldn’t have gone far. He’s got those short legs, after all. I’ll go look for him,” the elder female volunteered.

“Really?” Kim asked in a hopeful tone. Her eyes shined as if Shego were suddenly her hero.

“I am dressed and I did leave the damn door open,” Shego grumbled.

“Thanks. I’ll get dressed and help.”

“Take your time. I’ll go north and when you get ready, you head south.”

“Gotcha!” the redhead smiled and saluted. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego could not believe that she was wasting her day off looking for a mutt that she thoroughly detested because her pet had been wearing an incredibly melancholic face. The girl’s expression was close to being completely lugubrious and cracked something inside of Shego. To make matters more outrageous to Shego, she realized that she was actually looking for the mutt. She was not pretending to search for the mongrel. She was seriously, actively trying to find that irksome creature. And she did not stop when that realization dawned on her.

“Come on, if I was a dumb, slobber machine with an equally dumb owner, where the hell would I go?” Shego asked herself, scratching her head. 

After an hour of searching and getting nowhere, Shego decided that three eyes would be better than two. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed up her friend. She could not believe what she was about to request. She might never live it down. 

“Ay,” Betty answered the phone.

“Yeah, what are you doing right now?” the emerald-eyed woman inquired.

“Nothing important. Why?”

“Will you help me look for a puppy?”

“Will I what?” Doctor Director asked because she was almost certain that she had heard wrong. After all, her friend hated dogs.

“Help me look for a puppy,” the younger woman repeated through gritted teeth. She could not believe that she had to utter that sentence twice.

“Don’t you already have a pet?”

“I do. She lost her pet.”

“Your pet has a pet?” the brown-haired woman inquired in disbelief. She had gotten used to the idea of Shego having a pet girl, but now that pet girl had a pet puppy. “What’s next, the pet puppy was going to have a pet kitten? The kitten will have a pet mouse? This is like a bad nursery rhyme.”

“Are you going to help me or not?” Shego huffed.

“Where the hell are you right now?”

“Shit, that’s a good question.” The super-powered woman looked around and she could not believe where she was. “Shit, I’m right next to you. Screw this, I’m coming to get you,” Shego proclaimed.

“I didn’t hear myself agree,” Betty pointed out.

“The fuck I care about what you heard or didn’t hear. I’m coming to get you and you’re going to help,” the younger female declared.

“Why am I going to help?” the one-eyed woman asked. She did not even like Shego’s little brat.

“Because I said so.”

“That doesn’t work on me. I’m not your little pet.”

“Fucking asshole,” Shego sighed. “Could you just help me out and stop being a bitch? I can’t go back to the apartment without this damn dog.”

“Why?” Doctor Director asked curiously.

“I’m the one that left the door open and that’s how he got out. Besides, she likes him.”

“Fine, I’ll be outside, you big softie.”

“Fuck you.”

“Don’t be hostile when you need my help,” Betty warned Shego, who frowned. Oh, she hated her friend. 

-8-8-8-8-

The pair of friends wandered around for no more than twenty minutes before the pale woman’s phone went off. She went into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She saw that her pet was calling her.

“Yeah?” Shego answered.

“I found him!” Kim declared happily.

“Great, then I’m going home,” Shego informed the girl and then she disconnected the call.

“So, we’re done?” Betty asked.

“Yeah,” the officer replied.

“You’ve got food?”

“I do.”

“Well, I’m coming along,” Betty invited herself to the apartment. Shego did not object; she owed her boss something for dragging her along on a wild-goose chase. A meal seemed like a fair trade. 

-8-8-8-8-

The two women returned to the condo to find Kim with Leonardo. The redhead was rubbing the dog’s head while muttering about him being a good boy. Shego rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen to see what they had to eat. Betty focused on the puppy, who took notice of her. Leonardo approached the new comer curiously.

“What the?” Betty muttered as Leonardo pulled at her pant leg.

“He likes you,” Kim explained.

“All right.” Betty frowned and resisted the urge to yank her leg away. She did not want to end up hurting the little guy. “So, he’s yours?”

“Well, for now,” the redhead answered.

“For now?”

“Well, Shego doesn’t want him around, so I’ve got to find him a new home by the end of the month. He’s pretty well trained and he’s really affectionate. Hey … do you want him?” Kim asked hesitantly.

“Huh?” Betty was taken by surprise that the little brat was offering her something, especially something important.

“Do you want him? He’s a really good dog.”

“Why don’t you just keep him? Surely you can get away with that,” the one-eyed woman commented. Shego seemed to give into everything that the little pest wanted; it was rather nauseating in Betty’s opinion.

The younger female shrugged. “Probably, but I don’t want to get away with it. Shego doesn’t want him around and once school starts, I won’t really have time for him.”

“You mean to tell me you’re actually taking care of this dog? I can see why he ran away,” Betty remarked.

“He didn’t run away. He just wandered off. So, how about it? Like I said, he likes you. I bet you could use some companionship,” Kim retorted and that earned her a solid punch in the head. “Ow! What did you do that for?” the redhead inquired while rubbing her now sore dome.

“You should learn to have some respect. Just because your mistress let’s you get away with murder doesn’t mean I will,” the one-eyed female replied with a scowl.

“You didn’t have to hit me,” Kim complained in a grumble. “Now I’m not even sure if I want you to have Leonardo. You might hurt him.”

“You think you can take care of a dog better than I can?”

“Well, I’d never hit him.”

“I wouldn’t hit him either,” Betty argued. “I only hit you because you’re a brat. I’ll take the dog. I like pups well enough. They’re way better than brats,” she stated.

Kim stuck her tongue out at Betty because of those words. The older woman hit Kim again in the same spot. The redhead accidentally bit her tongue because of the blow.

“Ow!” Kim complained, putting her hands on top of her for protection. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim and Shego were relaxing on the sofa. Kim had her head in Shego’s lap. The raven-haired woman was stroking her pet’s hair and scanning the living room, which was finally clear of all of Leonardo’s junk. They had given Betty all of the canine’s things, except for the collar and tag that he had been wearing, as those happened to be Kim’s things. Shego made sure to wash those thoroughly, even though Kim insisted that Leonardo was clean.

“Shego, how come you hate dogs so much?” Kim asked curiously while fighting off the urge to fall asleep in her master’s very comfortable lap. If there was a better pillow in the land than Shego’s legs, Kim had never found it and did not plan on looking for it.

“I don’t know. I just do. I hate all animals really,” Shego replied.

“Why?”

“Too many pets as a kid, I guess.”

“You hate animals because you had pets?” Kim did not see the connection there. She thought that a kid with a bunch of pets would grow up to love animals.

“Well, my brothers had pets mostly. The average lifespan was about two weeks for anything not smart enough to run. You learn not to get attached. I think when I was really little I had a dog, though,” the pale woman recollected, blinking as forgotten images flashed through her mind.

“You think? Shouldn’t you be sure? I mean, it was a dog.”

“Well, pets blend together and I was really little. My mother brought the dog in one day and told me that she was mine, but my older brother was always trying to take her, even though he had his own pets. I was about six at the time. My mother actually made me take care of that dog … I think it was a cocker spaniel.”

“Did you have to walk it and everything?”

“Yeah.”

“By yourself?”

“Sometimes,” Shego answered.

“At age six?” the redhead asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, well, on some days my mother would come with me and on other days, she’d say if I got kidnapped it was my own fault for some reason or another. I know one time she told me that if I was stupid enough to take candy from a stranger than I was better off staying with the stranger,” the raven-haired woman replied.

“That’s tough. So, what happened to your dog?”

“My stupid brother. I knew he was going to end up doing something stupid because I hadn’t even had the damn dog for a week and he left the gate open to let her wander out of the yard. She came back that same day and he didn’t seem satisfied with just doing that stupid shit. The dumb ass bastard decided to play a game with her instead of his two dogs and he did a wrestling move on her. He snapped her neck and her spine,” Shego informed her pet with a forced laugh. Could she have possibly gotten stupider brothers, she often wondered.

“That’s awful,” Kim muttered for lack of a better thing to say.

“Yeah, but so goes the circle of life,” the elder woman commented in a dismissive tone. “It wasn’t like she was the first or last animal he killed.”

“So, what was her name?”

Shego thought on the question for a moment and then she laughed. “I named her Pumpkin. Her fur was a dark sort of orange and I named her Pumpkin because of that.”

“Wait a minute, you named me after your dog?” Kim asked incredulously. Shego only laughed more. She had forgotten all about that dog. She had been her only pet until Kim came along.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: They say speak of the devil and he shall appear, well, then maybe Shego should not have mentioned her family. Things might get a little messy.


	5. Dilemma Five: The Big Boss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t own the characters or the premise.

Dilemma Five: The Big Boss?

_How is it that I get out of one mess with that little monster of mine only to get into something else equally or even more annoying than the last mess? I’m starting to think that the little pest is bad luck. Oh, who am I kidding? I know the truth._

Shego was minding her own business, watching a movie that she really liked. Her pet was in the loft doing who-knew-what and she really did not care as long as fire and loud noises were not involved. She just wanted to see the end of the film and then Satan decided to take an interest in her life. Hell must be quite tedious all of a sudden, she thought.

The phone rang Shego reached over to answer it, even though she knew that if her house phone was ringing then she really did not wish to speak with the person. Anybody worth her time knew to call her cell phone. She checked the caller ID to make sure that it was not Drakken because if it was him, then she certainly was not going to answer because she was not up to dealing with his level of lunacy at the moment. The caller ID read “private caller,” an ominous sign indeed. She tempted fate and answered anyway.

“Yo,” Shego answered the call.

“Such a rude way to answer the phone,” the voice of the Devil said. Well, it was what Shego imagined the Devil would sound like.

“Mommy?” Shego asked. Damn it, the phone was not her friend and if it had not cost a nice amount of money, she would have melted it right in her hand.

“Yes,” the voice confirmed.

“How’d you get my home number?” Shego inquired. She prided herself on the fact that her family did not know anything about her, except for the fact that she still lived in Go City. Her mother was the one problem with that fact.

“Come now, dearest, you have to give your mother some credit.”

Shego figured she should have known better. After all, it was her mother who had found her apartment and then had the nerve to visit. “I’ll give you something all right,” she muttered away from the phone.

“What was that, dearest?”

“Nothing. What can I do for you, Mommy?”

“You can pack your things and come to the villa for the weekend,” her mother answered.

“We’re not getting together this weekend,” the green-skinned woman protested. There was no way in hell that she was leaving her comfortable home to be tormented in the middle of nowhere when she could be tormented by her little pest instead.

“Yes, we are. So pack your things and bring your ass. Bring your pet too,” her mother commanded.

“Mommy, you can’t just spring this on me. I’ve got work—” Shego tried to weasel out of it, but her mother cut her off.

“You’re also got vacation days. Besides, I’m sure Betty will understand.”

The super-powered woman frowned because she could practically feel her mother smiling in triumph through the phone. Apparently, she was going to have to learn to stop answering the phone and more than likely change her number again. _Maybe I should just get rid of my house phone altogether_.

“Are you still there?” her mother asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” she answered in a sour tone.

“So, are you packing?”

“Why does it have to be this weekend?” Shego actually whined. She could not think of anything else to do in her current mess.

“Because I miss my family.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“You do now. We’re meeting up on neutral ground,” her mother declared.

“Mommy, the villa is not anywhere near neutral ground. It’s no man’s land. There’s a key difference,” Shego pointed out.

“I suppose. But, at least it’s some place where no one will hear all of the screaming,” her mother remarked.

“Or properly treat third degree burns,” Shego murmured. They would be in the middle of nowhere, no help for any of them, which was what made it no man’s land more than neutral ground. Besides, neutral ground implied peaceful area, but if their family were there, there certainly would not be any kind of peace.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I’m going to go pack,” the younger woman sighed.

“Good. Don’t forget to bring your pet.”

“I won’t.”

“Goodbye, sweetheart.”

Shego only hung up the phone. She detested when her mother started getting sentimental. Every so often her mother got the urge to be, well, motherly. It was always an abrupt and disturbing change from her norm of independent, warrior woman, who occasionally seemed to forget that she even had offspring. Usually, her mother would blend the motherly bit into the warrior woman, which was alarming and unsettling enough. Shego did not need the woman going into total, complete “mom” mode ever. The good thing was that full-on “mom” mode never lasted long.

“Princess,” Shego called.

“Huh?” Kim asked while poking her head out of the loft space.

“Do you have a good pair of boots?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a slamming pair of boots,” Kim answered. She needed boots thanks to the hobbies that she had.

“Do you like the woods?”

“Totally.”

“Well, then, pack your boots and great ready for a nature hike,” Shego commented with a sigh. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Kim was sitting on Shego’s bed with her legs folded underneath her. She was watching Shego pack for the mysterious trip that they were about to go on. The younger woman had already thrown her clothes and essentials into a backpack. Well, her mistress had done that for her actually after Shego saw the way the girl had her bag crammed full of stuff.

The redhead noted that her master was not fretting about what to wear, except for if it was old enough to ruin. Shego refused to take anything that she liked on a trip that involved her family, even as grown men, her brothers had a bad habit of ruining things, especially her things. They also were not below playing the mud and trying to get her to go along with such lowbrow behavior.

“So … how come I get to go on this trip and not your big, blue, cuddly—” Kim was going to keep going, but her owner stopped her.

“Keep it up and the only place you’ll be going is to the hospital. Well, maybe not even there, depending on if I want you to live or not,” Shego stated.

“You’d be so sad without me,” the redhead teased.

“Want me to prove you wrong?” the pale woman inquired while holding up a glowing fist.

The redhead decided against pushing her luck. “No. But, why are you taking me instead of Drakken? You took him last time.”

“And I’m taking you this time. What’s with you and all of the fucking questions? Last time you bugged the hell out of me to take you and now you’re acting like you don’t want to go. If you don’t want to go, just say so.”

“But, I do want to go!” Kim grinned. Why would she not want to go on a getaway with her mistress? There was not a reason that she could think of.

“Then shut up and be thankful that you’re going,” Shego barked, glaring at the petite hero briefly.

“You’re being mean!” the redhead whined.

Shego sighed because she was not giving her pet her usual bitchiness. She was at a new level at the moment, knowing that the family reunion was going to a disaster, as they always were. There was something about their family that just did not connect and yet, they got together to torture each other anyway. It was a macabre fact in her opinion and spoke volumes on how they were all sadomasochists to a certain degree.

“So, why aren’t you taking Drakken?” Kim asked again because she was very curious as to why she was being honored with a trip.

“Come on, me, him, in the woods. It’s too tempting,” Shego replied and her pet knew just what she was implying.

“Well, after you bury his charred body, it’ll just be you and me,” the girl smiled.

“I’d rather not kill him.”

“So, you’ll kill me instead?” Kim joked.

Shego only rolled her eyes. She was pleased that her mother did not know about Drakken or she would have had to bring him along too more than likely. Well, there always was the probability that her mother did know about the sapphire-colored scientist, but did not find him fascinating enough to bother with. Whatever the reason, Shego was glad that she did not have to bring him. She did wonder how her pet was going to behave on the getaway, though. She did not need her girl being a brat when the trip was going to horrible enough.

“Pumpkin,” the pale woman said.

“Yeah?” the redhead replied.

“You’d better be on your best behavior for this trip or I’ll never take you anywhere ever again.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so,” Shego replied. She had not and was not planning on telling her little monster that they were going on a family retreat. She did not even want to picture how enthusiastic and hyped Kim would be once she knew what was going on. She had no desire to deal with an overly happy pet while she was going to be miserable. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego decided that she could learn to truly hate her pet. Why? Because the little pest had a brain on the outside world and it seemed to turn on all the way when they got into the woods. They had to hike for about a mile to get to where they needed to be; Shego loathed that she had to leave her new car parked in an open lot for a park that was nearby because there was no way drive it to the villa. Kim made the hike way too long by diving after every fleeing critter in her path. The pale woman could see why her girl decided to be a biologist. 

“Are you always like this?” Shego inquired while watching the redhead carelessly stick her hand into the burrow of an animal that they had only heard and not seen. For all Kim knew, she could be grabbing for a very angry badger or worse yet, an irate skunk. Shego could only hope that the girl did not lose any fingers to the creature that was down the hole.

“Like what?” Kim countered while reaching into the unknown well past her elbow.

“Into nature and shit,” Shego elaborated.

The younger female thought about the question for a moment and laughed a bit when she realized what she was doing and what she had been doing since they had gotten out of the car. “You know, on missions and things, I never really think about the environment that I’m in unless it’s necessary for me to stay alive. I usually have to focus on stopping madmen or rescuing someone. But, sometimes, I do get called in to wrangle animals and I get to see how I’m a bit more into it than I give myself credit for when it comes to nature. I know how to handle wild animals. Right now, with no mission or anything, just time to observe, I’ve realized that not only do I know something about almost everything here, but I want to touch everything, I want study everything.”

“That’s nice and all, but if you keep this up, we’ll be here forever. So, can we get to the villa sometime this year?” the older woman inquired.

“Sorry,” the redhead apologized sheepishly as she retracted her limb from the void that it was in.

The duo continued up the trail and Kim thought about her behavior so far. She had never really thought about how much she picked up about different environments and animals while she was on missions. Now, she could understand why she was into biology, though. It was a part of her every day life almost in a very different way than it was for most other people.

Kim considered that she might become an ecologist from the bit of information that had just entered her mind. She supposed that there were would be plenty of time to think about that one. There was so much to do in the world. There had to be a way for her to keep doing plenty while doing one thing.

It did not take the pair long to get to the villa once Kim calmed down. It stood out in the woods being a villa and all. It was constructed by a lake, so it did not look incredibly out of place, but still, it was much more elegant than what most people would expect to come across in the woods.

“Is it going to be just us there?” Kim asked curiously. She noted on the ride out there not too many details were being disclosed to her.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Shego replied.

“Yeah, we could cuddle by a fire and—”

“I’m going to stop your little fantasy right there before it gets x-rated.”

“Why? There aren’t any children around and it’s a really good one.”

“I still don’t want to hear it,” the pale woman stated.

Kim playfully pouted, as if not being able to share her fantasy hurt her feelings. They came to the door of the villa and discovered that it was open, which meant that they were not the first ones to arrive. Shego wondered who beat them to the house.

“Yo,” Shego called as she and her pet stepped inside.

“Prompt as always,” Shego heard her mother comment.

“You’re downstairs?” the law enforcer called, even though she could tell that was exactly where her mother was.

“Yes. Did you bring Kim?”

“Her name is Pumpkin or Princess,” the green-skinned female stated with a frown.

“Apparently, you’re huffy already.”

“Hi, Mrs. Gooding,” Kim called.

“Hello, Kim dear. And call me Isabel.”

“Mommy!” Shego huffed. “What did I just say?” she asked. She wondered how many times she had to tell that woman the same thing before it finally sunk in.

Kim walked over to the stairs; there were two sets of steps positioned by the wall. One set of stairs led down to a lower floor, which gave her a view of where her owner’s mother was located. The woman was marching up the stairs to greet the two in person, so Kim moved out of her way. Shego’s mother, Isabel Gooding, resembled her daughter quite a bit. They had the same features, almost as if Shego were a clone of the woman, except for two things and one was that Shego had a sea-green complexion. Shego noted the second thing that was different on her mother and it was something new about her mother’s flowing ebony mane.

“Mommy, you’re going gray on the side,” Shego pointed out. The last time that she saw her mother, their hair was identical, like flowing rivers of ink. Her mother now had some white working its way around her crown of black hair.

“Yes, I know. The problem is getting old, I suppose,” Isabel sighed. She was dressed in business casual clothing, dressed down just a bit compared to the first time that Kim met the woman. Shego guessed that her mother wanted Kim around to get some dirt on her from her very bribable pet. She could understand why a lot of people just got fish for pets now.

“You’re the only one here?” Shego asked, even though she knew that answer to that since she did not hear any arguing.

“Yes, I’m trying to get your brothers’ rooms together,” her mother replied.

“Brothers?” Kim echoed and an interested smile curled onto her lips. Her master had let her know that she had an older brother, but she never said anything about having more than one.

“Don’t even start with the questions,” Shego ordered the redhead.

“Why don’t you take Kim—” Isabel was about to make a suggestion, but her daughter cut her off.

“Princess,” Shego interjected.

“Fine, why don’t you take Princess up to your room and let her get settled in. Then you can give her a tour,” Isabel finished.

“Or I could throw her in the lake and call it a fucking day,” Shego muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing for you to worry about. Come on, Pumpkin,” the master commanded.

Kim followed Shego to the second set of stairs, which led upward. There was no true upstairs in the villa. It was more of a loft area, which was something that Kim could appreciate of course. A sort of bridge led from the stairs, covering the lobby on the ground floor, to a single room with walls that were only three and a half feet tall on two sides; it was built in the corner, so it had two true walls. Kim trotted to the short wall and looked out into the rest of the house. The view revealed how large the place actually was.

“This is nice,” Kim commented.

“Yeah, whatever,” Shego replied, dumping her bags in the corner of the room. There was nothing there that said the room was hers; she knew better than to leave anything in a house that she visited maybe once every three years.

“So, it’s your mother and just us?” the redhead asked.

“What did I just say about the questions?”

“If you don’t answer, I’ll go ask your mother. She seems to like me well enough.” Kim smiled like an imp, an incredibly evil imp.

 _Damn it to Hell and back_ , Shego thought with an angry glint in her jade eyes. She was not about to be outplayed by her own pet. Shego was the one in charge, after all. It said so right on the collar around Kim’s neck. She scowled at her little monster.

“My mother may like you, but you don’t live in her house and if you keep bothering me, you might not live in mine either,” the emerald-eyed woman retorted.

Kim pouted; she noted that her mistress was growing very hostile. A good pet would try to bring some comfort to her owner, Kim’s brain pointed out. But, a wicked little voice in the back of her mind interrupted and pointed out that there was so much to see around the house and Shego was always so very grumpy. Therefore, there was no reason to waste time on the green-skinned officer when she could be exploring the house, or better still, the woods. Kim really would like to take a stroll through the woods and test her knowledge on the wilderness. She then glanced at her keeper.

“Hey, Shego, how about we go for a walk?” Kim suggested. “I packed my leash,” she added.

“Really?” Shego asked with incredulous, wide eyes. She would have thought that Kim would have hidden that leash by now.

“Yeah, I noticed how you weren’t thinking about it, so I packed it. So, how about that walk?” the redhead replied with a smile.

“Get the leash,” Shego sighed.

Kim nodded and went into her bag to retrieve her leash. She pulled out the grass green line, which her mistress connected to her collar. They descended the stairs, but before they could exit the house, Isabel caught sight of them.

“Where are you two going?” the elder woman inquired with an arched raven eyebrow. She had been trying her best to not address the issue of the collar that she saw Kim was wearing and now she was expected to ignore that the girl was chained. She guessed that there was nothing wrong with it since Kim seemed all right with it.

“I’m taking Princess for a walk,” Shego informed her mother.

“You’ve got her tethered and collared now?” Isabel asked. Look, she was only human for crying out loud and even though she had no problem with what they were doing since they were adults, she just had to tackle the subject. She would like to know the reasoning behind Kim being shackled.

“She needs to understand that she’s just a pet,” the daughter answered.

“I’m sure she and the rest of the world will get the message then. Don’t be too long. It’ll be dark soon and I’m about to start dinner.”

“We won’t miss dinner,” Shego assured her mother while choosing to ignore the offending implied message in the front part of her statement about it getting dark soon. If something did manage to harm her or her pet, she believed that they deserved it because they were obviously perpetrating a fraud by acting extremely hardcore and then not being able to back up that façade.

“What are we having for dinner?” Kim asked.

“You won’t have anything if you keep asking all these questions,” Shego informed her pet.

“But, I was asking your mother,” the redhead pointed out. She did not see why her mistress should be irked if she was asking someone else questions.

“You’re not allowed to ask anyone questions.”

“Why?” Kim whined.

Shego frowned and tugged at Kim’s leash a bit. The girl yelped and lurched forward thanks to her owner pulling on the strap. Shego smirked, appearing amused for the first time since they left the apartment. They were about to leave the house when the front door opened and five men entered the house, one of them complaining that he should be let through first.

“Oh, great. The goon squad is here,” Shego remarked with a frown while shaking her head.

“It’s Team Go and you know that,” her big brother said.

Before Shego could say something to thoroughly tear her big brother soul and spirit asunder, their mother literally stepped in. Isabel smiled as she came over and embraced each one of her sons. The last man, seeming to be hiding in the back, was the siblings’ father, Isabel’s husband. He and Isabel did not even touch each other, which Kim noted.

“Let me introduce you to everyone,” Isabel said to Kim because she knew that Shego planned to ignore them all and continue on her way outside for her walk with her pet.

“Okay,” the eccentric hero agreed.

“This is Hector, my oldest,” Isabel said while wrapping her arm around the tallest and most muscular of the men.

“Mom, it’s Hego,” he corrected her as if he was offended that she would call him by his real name.

“It doesn’t say that on your birth certificate,” Isabel smoothly replied and then moved on to the next one. He had lilac colored skin along with magenta hair. “This is Michael. Sometimes they call him Mego,” she said and then she moved onto the twins. “Walter and Wallace.”

“Wally if you want the both of us,” the twins explained and they seemed rather proud of that fact considering they were grinning madly.

“Wally?” Kim echoed.

“It’s easier to have one word that summons the both of them. You usually want both of them, especially when something’s broken,” Shego explained why the twins shared a nickname.

“And who…” Walter started.

“Are you?” Wallace finished. They were speaking to Kim and the pair had a hint of desire lining their ruby colored eyes.

Shego noticed the spark of lust that ignited in her youngest brothers. They were about her pet’s age, too, really only a year younger than she was. So, she knew just what was going through their hormonally charged minds. She figured that she had better throw some water right on their fire before it built up.

“This is _my_ pet. You call her Princess or Pumpkin,” Shego informed the pair of match-heads for them to get the idea that Kim was off-limits. She made sure that everyone saw the leash in her hand that led right to Kim’s collar.

The males all stared at the line that was in Shego’s hand and followed it as it connected to Kim’s neck, more than once. Kim wondered if the guys would be as calm about her being a pet as the females of the family were. She figured that she would find out in a moment.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: The guys’ reaction to the information that they have just learned and a good, old fashion dysfunctional family reunion. These folks don’t pull any punches … or kicks in Shego’s case.


	6. Dilemma Six: Enter the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise. You should enjoy the story anyway.

Dilemma Six: Enter the Family

_I figure meeting my mistress’ family might clear up a few things for me. I should take a lot away from this, provided I live through it. Shego has been ferociously harping on me like this is so the drama. What if it is so the drama?_

Kim had just been introduced to her mistress’ brothers, Hector, Michael, Walter, and Wallace, or Wally to be short about things with the twins. Shego also declared that Kim was her pet now and the pair was awaiting a reaction from all of the fellows that had just arrived. Everybody looked confused and seemed to be waiting for Shego to explain herself. The funny thing was that the officer had no plan on elaborating on Kim being her pet because that was her business and no else’s.

“That is kinky,” Walter commented with a smile.

“And cool,” Wallace added with a smile of his own.

“Did I mention kinky?” Walter asked with a wink.

“Could we hold the leash?” Wallace requested from their sister with lecherous hope in his voice and in his eyes.

“No, you freaks,” Shego answered.

“Selfish,” the twins grumbled. They frowned and folded their arms across their chest, giving them a strong resemblance to their sister.

“Shego, unhand that girl,” Hego commanded.

“Yeah, I’ll do that right after I get around to doing all that other shit you wanted me to do since I was born,” the sister replied while rolling her emerald eyes.

“Dad, make her let go of that girl,” Hego requested. He actually still managed to sound macho while saying such words.

Kim could not believe her ears, but a grown man had just invoked his father to get his younger sister to release her pet. She had to look at Shego because of the ridiculousness of the request. She hoped that her mistress would explain the blue-eyed man’s summoning. Shego only waved her pet off as her father stepped forward. There just was not enough time in life to put her elder brother to plain words that everyone could understand.

Where Shego was like a clone of her mother, Hego was definitely his father’s son. Their father was a large, barrel-chested man like Hego. He had deep indigo eyes, like his eldest son. They even had the same haircut; it was just disgusting in Shego’s opinion. He was dressed in a dark blue suit that Shego bet her mother paid for, and she was willing to bet that she would call her father on that at some point during the agonizing weekend that they had ahead of them. Before he could open his mouth to say something, Isabel stepped in.

“Jason, you’ve only been in here for thirty seconds. Put your things away before you attempt to raise your blood pressure,” Isabel commented.

Isabel took her husband by the arm before he had a chance to protest and she led him to the stairs. The couple disappeared to the lower level of the house, leaving the siblings with each other. Isabel did call up in a fairly absent tone, “Try to get along just a minute.”

The siblings all stared at each other. A minute of them getting along? The last time that they were alone together it took about ten seconds before an all out war began and it was every man for himself, except for in the twins case. None of them could even recall what started the battle, but they knew that their mother had put an end to it about ten minutes in. Clothes had been ripped, bruises had formed, and they had been grown at the time.

Shego decided to not even try to bother with her brothers for a minute. She yanked on her pet’s leash, so they could continue on their way outside. Unfortunately, Hego was not done imposing his self-righteous will over everyone. He stood in his sister’s path to prevent her from leaving.

The green-skinned woman frowned and growled at the same time. She told herself to try her best not to slap her elder brother since their mother said that they should get along for a minute. Besides, if she made him bleed with their mother being in “mom” mode, she would be in so much trouble. Being in trouble with her mother was not a safe place to be, especially now that her children were older.

“Hego, move your ass,” Shego ordered.

“Let that girl go,” Hego commanded.

“What makes you think I’m going to do that?” she asked. She wondered what went on his mind, if he had a mind anyway. With the way that he acted a great deal of the time, she was almost certain that he was the only multi-celled, vertebrate organism with no manner of brain whatsoever.

“You know what you’re doing is wrong,” the blue-eyed male declared.

“Goes to show how much you know,” she retorted. She did not see anything wrong with what she was doing. It was not like her pet had any objections to what they were doing. She was not forcing Kim to do something that she did not want to do and she was not keeping the girl prisoner.

“Hego, why don’t you just get out of her damn business,” the purple-hued brother suggested.

“Stay out of this, Mego. I don’t need your help,” Shego huffed. She hated when he tried to add his two-cents to a private argument. It was things like that that made an argument turn into a fight.

“Fine, screw the both of you,” Michael, also known as Mego, replied. He walked away from the group with his nose turned up. He did not want to be with them, anyway. He had better things to do.

“Now, Hego, move your ass,” Shego commanded again.

“Let the girl go. You can’t keep a girl on a leash like that,” the eldest sibling argued.

“I’m doing it right now. It’s none of your damn business.”

“I’m not letting you leave until you let her go.”

“Are we not going for a walk then?” Kim asked her mistress in a worried tone. She did not see how the raven-haired woman was going to move such a large man without having to hurt him.

“We are,” Shego assured her girl. She was definitely taking her pet outside for some fresh air, to get away from her brothers, and hopefully her pet would burn off some energy to avoid bouncing off of the walls later that night. “We’re going, even if I have to kick Hego in the crotch to make him move.”

Kim grimaced for Hego at the proposal of being kicked in the crotch, especially by her very strong mistress. She would never think to kick her brothers in the crotch, no matter how bothersome they became. She wondered if her owner was serious about the assault.

“You wouldn’t—!” Hego was cut off by a resounding kick directly to the scrotum. All of the brothers winced as their eldest brother collapsed to the floor from the attack against him. He groaned like wounded buffalo.

“Ouch,” Kim muttered. Her master was vicious.

“Come on, Pumpkin,” Shego said while tugging on her pet’s leash again.

“Bye, guys,” Kim bid the brothers farewell.

“Don’t talk to them,” Shego commanded her cheerful girl while pulling her pet out of the door. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Why does Hego even bother?” Walter asked Wallace while staring down at their floored eldest sibling. They did not look very concerned for him, even though the oldest did not appear all right. He was looking bluer than usual.

“No clue. Sis’ pet was hot,” Wallace replied, showing where his mind was. The pair walked off into the house, leaving their big brother on the floor in dire agony and tears in his eyes.

“Hot as hell,” Walter concurred.

“You’d think we could play with her?” Wallace suggested in a sly tone with an equally cunning smile on his face.

“We could and she won’t have to know,” Walter answered with his own cheeky grin.

“Good idea.” 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego let Kim off of her leash after the girl choked herself over a dozen times in about ten minutes, forgetting that she was tied to her mistress. Once the leash was off, Kim was off exploring, which was what Shego wanted her to do anyway. The elder woman almost laughed while watching her pet scale a tree after spotting a frog of some kind. Kim reached the branch and went for the amphibian, but it got away.

“Aw, man,” Kim pouted.

“What’s wrong?” Shego asked when she noticed her pet’s expression. She thought that her petite monster was having such a good time.

“I lost it.”

“You lost it?”

“My frog,” Kim explained.

“What’s with you and the woods?” the pale woman inquired. She looked around the forest and failed to see the appeal of the place. It was dirty with wild animals that seemed to think that they could waltz into houses whenever the urge over took them. Besides, there was not a corner store within miles of the whole area, making a midnight craving pure torture.

“I don’t know. I never really realized how much I like the wilderness until I just came out here. I thought it was just something I tolerated because of how I spend my free time, but I can see that it’s more than that. It’s nice to just appreciate the woods without having to worry about someone shooting at me or without having to find some mythological giant beast that’s eating everything in sight. It’s a great thing,” Kim replied with a content sigh.

The redhead felt at peace just being able to be in the forest without having to worry about anything. It was nice to be free and observe. She was glad that her mistress brought her along. She rested on the tree branch for a moment before swinging on the limb and hanging by her legs, never mind the fact that she was about twenty-five feet off of the ground.

“Be careful up there. If you fall, I’m not catching you,” Shego informed her hyper brat.

The hero smiled a bit. “I’m all right. Hey, Shego?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s up with your family nicknames? Hego, Shego, and Mego. What’s up with that?” the girl asked curiously.

“My father did it. He’s not a very creative man, I guess. He probably got hit in the head too many times playing football.”

“He played football?”

“All the way to college. Injured something, though, and that ended that. I don’t remember what and really don’t care.”

“What—”

“Yeah, don’t ask me what position he played. I don’t know and I don’t care,” Shego stated.

“All right. How’d he come up those nicknames, though?” the younger woman inquired. They were odd nicknames in her opinion.

“We all used to live in Go City and my stupid older brother always wanted to be a superhero or some such bullshit. He probably read too many comic books or something. My dad, being a dumb-ass that likes to encourage his favorite dumb-ass son, goes ‘you can’t be a hero without a cool name.’ My mother liked to argue that he’s already named after a hero, but nobody listened to her because she has a working brain, I guess. They actually thought on this shit for weeks. Until Dad had something akin to a eureka moment coming up with ‘Hego,’ declaring that a hero needs to be named after his city.” Shego rolled her eyes.

“Really? But, what about Superman? Batman? The Flash? The Fantastic Four? None of them are named after their cities. In fact, I don’t think there is a hero, fictional or otherwise, that is named after a city,” Kim pointed out. Heroes had cities named after them, not the other way around.

“See, you’re actually using your brain on this. It’s a luxury that my dad and brother don’t have.”

“Okay, so how in the heck did he come up with Hego? He combined Hector’s name with Go City? Combined the word ‘hero’ with Go City?” Kim asked in a puzzled tone while scratching her chin, all the while still hanging from a tree branch.

“I don’t really know. I’m leaning toward believing he combined Hector with Go City, but one can’t be sure with that man,” the pale woman remarked.

“So, how’d he come up with Shego?”

Shego frowned; she never told anyone how that came up. She even hated that she still went by that name, but she did not have better options in her opinion. She would be damned if she let anyone call her by the pet name her mother had for her and there was no way that she would go by her real name.

“When I started hanging out with my dad, he decided I need a ‘cool’ nickname too. He acted like I was Hego’s sidekick, so he dubbed me Shego. When Michael came along, he made him Mego and the twins became Wego,” she informed her pet.

“You guys aren’t looking to give the twins a hint of individuality, huh?” the redhead remarked with a smile.

“They act like one person, they’ll get treated like one person,” the emerald-eyed woman replied.

“Do you all have powers?”

“Me and my brothers.”

“How’d that happen?”

“You’re asking too many questions again,” Shego replied in a bit of a dull tone. Her girl was so annoying with all of her curiosity and everything.

“Why do I get a question limit? You never tell me anything!” Kim whined. She knew that she was lying, but it was such fun to throw a tantrum.

“I don’t tell you anything because you’re just a fucking pet. You shouldn’t care and you don’t need to know. Your major concern should be if I’m going to feed you tonight and if you have a warm bed to sleep in.”

“Fine,” Kim sighed. “Are we going to keep walking?”

“If you ever get out of the damn tree,” her mistress replied. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego and Kim returned to the villa to smell of dinner. They got cleaned up and then went to the kitchen to where all of the food was decked out. Isabel did not fix plates for anyone, even when she was in full “mom” mode. She always pointed out that they all were blessed with hands just like she was and they needed to put their hands to good use. Shego fixed a plate for her pet, much to her family’s shock. They had never seen Shego do something for someone else like that.

Once Shego made her own plate, she pulled her little monster out of the kitchen. Shego was going to retreat to her room, which was her habit when she was with her family. Her mother stopped her, though. _Damn it_ , she seriously hated when the woman wanted to be a mother.

“We’re all eating down here, dear. You know, to be together,” Isabel informed her daughter with a disturbingly pleasant smile. Shego reminded herself that matricide was wrong, unless Orestes (1) happened to do it anyway.

“Spanking!” Kim grinned. It was not quite as wrong to kill a pet, though, Shego told herself, especially if the pet was a tiny monster.

“Shut up,” the green-skinned woman ordered her happy little brat.

Kim continued to smile despite the harsh words and the fact that she could tell that her mood was tap-dancing on her master’s last nerve. She was just so joyful to not only be interacting with her mistress’ family, but to be out in the woods and exploring with her owner. She just liked being Shego and learning more about her, so the day had been awesome in her opinion.

Shego retreated to the kitchen and sat at the counter that separated it from the dining room, which was where Hego was. Hego was sitting at the table with the twins. Kim sat down with her keeper. Suddenly, Walter and Wallace were at the counter and in front of the redheaded female.

“What do you two bozos want?” Shego inquired.

“Can we pet…” Walter started.

“…Your pet?” Wallace finished the request. They were both grinning up a storm, like they were having all sorts of wild fantasies already and they had only just met Kim.

“No, you freaks,” their sister answered with a frown.

“Selfish,” the twins grumbled.

“Get away from here. She’s not interested in you two losers anyway,” Shego told her baby brothers.

“We’re not losers,” Walter argued.

“We’re wicked cool,” Wallace declared, pointing between himself and his twin.

“You’re annoying as hell. Get the hell away from us or else,” the sister ordered and growled. She held up a hand and the threat would have frightened many people, but the twins were not among them. They had been dealing with their big sister for much too long and they knew what would be tolerated while their mother was in “mom” mode, so there was not much to fear.

“Totally selfish,” Walter commented while Wallace brazenly turned his complete attention to his sister’s decidedly hot pet.

“Our room is downstairs to the left. I’m the one of the bottom bunk,” Wallace informed her and he managed to say that with a straight face and an audacious smirk, which actually impressed Kim. Any guy that had that much confidence to where he could smile while admitting to sleeping on a bunk bed and he was about her age got a check plus in her book.

“Hey, what about me!” Walter objected. He and his twin were a team, after all. “We’re a package deal.”

“What about the both of you getting the hell away from us,” Shego demanded with a snarl. She punched the counter in a huff and broke the edge of it.

“Mom!” the twins howled. “Shego broke the counter.”

“Shego,” Isabel scolded her daughter.

“Damn it, Mom, what about Wally?” Shego asked, pointing an accusing finger at the twins. She would not have hit the damn counter if the twins would just leave her alone. They were the reason that she would rather eat in her room, anyway. Well, they were two of the five reasons that she could rather eat in her room.

“Yes, you little Wegos, leave your sister and her pet alone. If you want a girl so badly, you should go out and get one, just like your sister did,” Isabel commented. Hego and his father could not believe how casual she sounded about something so immoral, decadent, depraved and disgusting.

“But, she’s got a perfectly good one sitting right here,” Walter pointed out. Why go out and search for an exceptionally hot girl when one was right in front of them and she was wearing a collar? It would be stupid and wasteful in their opinion.

“One that’s she’s not using,” Wallace added.

“How do you know that?” Isabel countered. The twins scoffed at the very idea.

“Because she’s straight,” the twins answered in unison. It was not like they did not know a little something about their sister. It was necessary to know something about the person that they felt they were placed on the planet to bother. Besides, they felt that if they irked a person long enough, they had to learn something about her.

“Obviously not,” Mego interjected into the conversation. He could care less about how strange the discussion was. He just wanted to add some of his own input.

“Hey, stay out of this. Nobody was talking to you,” Shego barked at the lilac-colored young man.

“Which is the problem,” Mego argued with an attitude that seemed to be permanently engraved into his being. They all remembered when he was little, he did not even like to share his birthday cake because he would argue that it was his and his alone.

Kim watched as the twins hitting on her evolved into an argument that involved the whole family. Shouts of “idiot,” “bastard,” “selfish,” “harlot,” “dumb-ass,” and a trillion other and worse things polluted the air. It seemed fine since no one had thrown a punch yet. She was not too sure if no punches would be thrown considering that Shego had crotch-checked her big brother earlier.

The siblings eventually just started getting on each other with name-calling. They then started talking about each other’s powers and making fun those, which was how Kim learned what they all did. And then, suddenly, the brothers combined forces for just a moment to go right at Shego and she snapped back with a bite force that a crocodile would have envied.

“At least I’ve grown up and I’m not trying to live in a fucking fantasy world protected by a failure of a father,” Shego proclaimed and everyone was silent, dumbstruck it would seem. Kim expected to hear crickets chirping because of the unforeseen lack of noise.

“Shego—” Jason, her father, started to say, but she did not even want to hear it.

“Shut up, Dad, because you’re only going to defend your fellow fuck-ups,” the daughter commented.

“Firefly,” Isabel said since Jason had just been shut down with one sentence.

“Mommy, stop calling me that. Come on, Princess, we’re getting out of here,” Shego declared.

“But, I haven’t even finished eating,” Kim protested, but her mistress was already going to the door. The female redhead trotted off behind her master like a good pet would. She noted that they had not collected their things from the house, so they were probably going to return. 

-8-8-8-8-

The pair returned to the villa rather late. Everyone else had already retired to their rooms. Shego went and took a shower. Kim then took a shower and they both retired to Shego’s room. Kim yawned as they made their way up the stairs. She had run her energy straight into the ground after spending the day hopping around the woods like a child on a sugar high, which was just what her owner wanted. There were two beds, which Kim thought was strange, but nothing beyond that.

“You better stay in your own damn bed tonight or you’ll be waking up on the floor, the living room floor,” Shego said, pointing to the partial wall that separated the loft from the open space of the house.

The girl climbed into the empty bed with a gulp. She would not put it passed her master to do such a thing with the mood that the woman had been in all day. They both settled into their beds, but were halted from going to sleep as the sounds of a new argument reached their ears.

“Jason, you’re acting like an ass,” Isabel hissed as she and her husband entered the living room. They assumed that everyone was sleeping and they did not want to wake their offspring by having an argument by the bedrooms.

Kim got up, peering over the edge of the wall to see what was going on. Shego got up, planning to snatch Kim away, but she ended up standing there, too, even though she was used to her parents. From the slightly distressed expression on her pet’s face, Shego gathered that Kim was not used to parental disputes.

“I’m being an ass? Our daughter is tugging around a girl on a leash and I’m being an ass?” Jason asked incredulously. He could not believe that she would say such a thing. Their daughter had a girl that was probably younger than their twins on a leash for crying out loud! She was the one that was being unreasonable.

“Yes, you’re being an ass. Our daughter is a grown woman as is her pet. Their relationship is between consenting adults and it is non-sexual. And even if it was sexual, it is none of your damn business,” Isabel pointed out.

“It’s disgusting.”

“How so?”

“It just is.”

“This is your argument? ‘It just is’?” she asked in disbelief.

“The girl has a girl on a leash and a collar around the girl’s neck. It explains itself as to why it is disgusting,” he pointed out.

“It’s none of your damn business,” she repeated. No matter what he thought it was, it still was not his business.

“It’s very much my business. What if this gets out? Nobody would ever vote for me again.”

“Dearest, nobody votes for you, anyway,” she commented casually. She actually sounded amused, but caring at the same time.

“Look, I may run for the Senate someday,” he argued.

“And you’d lose, sweetheart. Dearest, the only reason you’re in Congress now is because of the small stint of being heroes you talked our children into years ago. Be thankful you made it to where you are now. Nobody gives a damn about what Shego does with her life and even if they did, she keeps her affairs very personal. It would a bit hard for them to know that she had a girl as a pet. So, don’t say anything at all to her tomorrow about her pet and you definitely leave that girl alone,” Isabel ordered her husband and there was a threatening tone to her voice.

“Why the hell couldn’t you just raise her to be normal?” Jason huffed.

Shego knew just where the argument was heading once that question came up. She sighed because she was going to have to deal with their crap for the whole weekend. She would have preferred to stay home and groom her pet. And thinking about her pet, she was going to have to keep those lecherous, little Wegos away from the girl. Although, she doubted that her brat was interested in Wally.

The officer decided to just get some sleep. She did not want to think about her brothers or her father or anything. Besides, it was not like tomorrow was going to be any less aggravating. 

-8-8-8-8-

1: Orestes is the son of the Greek king Agamemnon and he kills his mother, Clytemnestra, because she killed his father. At first, it looks like he’s in some trouble for having the nerve to kill his mother, but thanks to a goddess, he makes it out okay. The Orestien Trilogy is worth checking out for the whole story. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: There can’t be a dysfunctional family reunion without a fight, granted they won’t be fighting each other. Then who will they be fighting?


	7. Dilemma Seven: Feathers of Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise. Don’t own either Superman or Hitchcock, but they get shout outs.

Dilemma Seven: Feathers of Fury

_Why did I think having my pet around would mean less stress while being around my family?_

Shego did not bother to listen to her parents argue once her father pulled the old “why the hell couldn’t you just raise her to be normal?” line on her mother. It was a very old line and she pretty much knew where the debate was going once that line was uttered. She decided to get in bed, but she first had to get her pet to stop eavesdropping on what her parents were harping about. She grabbed Kim by the back of the neck as if she was a kitten and she yanked her toward the beds.

“You’re being rude,” the elder woman pointed out.

“Sorry about that. I thought your family would be all right with this, though. I mean, your mom took it so well,” the redhead commented while scratching the back of her head. The way her face fell, it was like she was disappointed and maybe a little distressed.

“Yeah, well, my mother and my father are two different animals. Just go to bed,” Shego commanded.

“I didn’t mean to cause a fight,” the younger woman muttered.

“You didn’t cause the fight. They’ve been having this fight for years. Just go to bed,” Shego repeated in a sterner tone.

Kim nodded and hopped into bed while Shego lay down in her own bed. It did not take long for Shego to be disturbed and for once it was not her little monster that was bothering her while she was trying to sleep, not that she expected it to be with the day that she was having. Her pet getting into her bed would have been much too normal. She was suddenly sharing her bed with her mother. She sighed.

“Sure, Mommy, you can have the bed,” Shego grumbled as she got up from her resting place.

“I thought it would be better than climbing into bed with your pet,” Isabel commented.

“Or you could force Dad to sleep in the car for once,” the daughter pointed out quite seriously. She would think that a woman as powerful as her mother would force her ass of a father to sleep in the tub or on the sofa or somewhere when they have a fight.

“I could…” Isabel trailed off.

“But won’t. Take the bed,” the green-skinned woman stated and then she marched over to her little pet. She lifted the girl out of the bed and placed her on the floor as if it was nothing.

“What the…?” Kim muttered and she looked around with one eye halfway open. “Why am I on the floor?” she asked in a daze. She had just fallen asleep a minute or so ago in a bed, she was certain of that. So, why was she not in the bed anymore?

“Because you’re the pet and I’m taking your bed,” Shego informed her brat. 

“Why?” the redhead asked in a bemused tone, doing her best to keep her one eye open. They had it worked out that Kim got the guest bed or whatever it was supposed to be. All she knew was that she was sleeping moments ago and now she was not anymore and that was not cool.

“Because I want to.”

“Do I have to sleep on the floor or on the sofa then?” the pet inquired. Her mistress was really being antagonistic toward her for no reason that she could see. She guessed that it was because of the family reunion, but she did not see why she had to catch all of the heat because of that.

“Yeah, that’ll work.”

Kim sighed and sat up. She yawned while rubbing the top of her head. She began scanning the room and Shego wondered what she was doing.

“What?” the green-skinned woman huffed.

“I don’t get a pillow or a blanket?” Kim asked incredulously. Man, that was really mean of her mistress if that was the case.

“Blankets are in the linen closet down—” Shego stopped herself. Did she really want her monster to go downstairs to where her father and brothers were? Well, her pet could handle herself if they decided to get aggressive, but then again, she might not be able to handle five lunatic men. She sighed and held up the cover that was on the bed that she had just commandeered. “Come on,” she invited the girl.

“Huh?” Kim was confused again, rubbing her head. She was supposed to be sleeping on the sofa, right? She was so tired and nothing was making any sense.

“Get in.”

 _Oh!_ The redhead understood that perfectly and she did not need to be told twice. She rushed over to the bed and climbed in. As she crawled into the narrow bed and moved close to her master, the elder woman halted her.

“Try not to do anything too inappropriate. My mother is only four feet away from us,” the officer remarked.

“And I’m still very much awake,” Isabel added.

Shego frowned; she really loathed the day that she just had. Her mother had not helped at all with climbing into her bed, which she had known was going to happen the second she heard that famous line uttered by her father. It was all right when she was four and had her mother sleeping next to her. It was not so cool when she was twelve and it was still happening, not to mention she knew why her mother was there by that time. At least when she was four, she was able to just pretend that her mother wanted to be close and cuddle her for no reason at all. Too bad that blissful ignorance did not last long.

Back when she was younger, if Shego listened hard enough, she could heard her parents yelling back and forth with each other when they all lived under the same roof. Those were the nights that she knew the following morning was not going to go well in the slightest and she usually cut out of the house early to avoid everyone’s crap. Sometimes, she went right out of her room window to make sure that she did not see anyone. Too bad she would not be able to do that tomorrow.

-8-8-8-8-

Shego woke up at her usual time and she could her noises downstairs. She glanced at the bed in the corner and saw that it was empty, meaning that her mother was up and possibly making breakfast. If the little scuffle last night knocked her out of “mom” mode, she was making herself breakfast and no one else, but would bend for a child if requested. Shego decided that she would go check things out and maybe help if her mother was making breakfast for everyone.

She happened to glance down at her sleeping pet before she got up. The girl appeared to be worn out. She bet that Kim did not even know that she had a limit on her energy, but Shego knew that her runt had spent all she had on exploring and the joy of finding out that she was entering the right field from her love and knowledge of nature.

“Maybe when this nightmare is over, I’ll take us some place else and we can stay at a cabin in the woods,” Shego considered. She bet that her mother either owned or knew someone that owned a cabin in a forest somewhere. She did not even think about all of the things her mother had access to, which meant that if she wanted, she could have access to them, too.

The pale woman leaned down and kissed Kim on the cheek before getting up. Her girl purred, but remained asleep. Emerald eyes softened a bit. _You’re almost cute, monster_. She yawned and marched downstairs in her forest green pajamas. She was about to enter the kitchen when someone grabbed her by the elbow. She turned around to see that it was her big brother out to ruin her morning undoubtedly.

“What, Hego?” Shego inquired with a huff. She could just guess what he was going to say already. His forehead might as well have been made of glass because he was so predictable that it was like she could read his thoughts.

“Mom and Dad had a fight because of you,” Hego replied.

“So?” she asked. It was not like their parents having a fight because of her was something new. Their parents had probably been fighting over her the moment that her father discovered that she had double-x chromosomes.

“Because of you and that girl!” he said in a loud hiss. His words might as well have had venom dripping from them.

“Don’t bring Pumpkin into this,” she growled. She did not mind, well, no, she did mind when her brothers got on her nerves, but she really did not desire them to bring her pet into. Her pet was not doing anything wrong and she had not done anything for someone to say something bad about her.

“Why are you acting like this? I thought you liked men,” the indigo-eyed male stated.

“I do. Princess is my pet, nothing more. You and Dad are reading too much into this shit. Besides, it’s none of your damn business. It’s my life, taco-boy, and if I want to have a pet girl, then, damn it, I’ll have a pet girl,” Shego declared.

“Are you two going at it already?” Mego asked as he climbed the stairs into the lobby of the house. “Hego, why don’t you leave her alone and, Shego, why don’t you just admit that you’re gay,” the purple-hued sibling suggested.

“Why don’t you mind your own damn business? Always in someone else’s shit,” Shego replied in a snappy tone. She was so sick of them all.

“Hey, you fixed her dinner last night,” Mego pointed out to make his statement creditable. “You never fixed me dinner,” he added in a snippy tone.

“Because you’ve got two working hands and a fucking mother if you want someone to fix your ass dinner. Why in the hell am I even having this conversation?” Shego wondered aloud and she then tried to walk away, but Hego was still holding her. “Hego, you really must just want me to rid you of the power to have children, huh?” she asked because it seemed he did not learn his lesson just yesterday.

Hego, knowing that he was not receiving an idle threat, released his little sister. Shego stormed off and went to the kitchen. She noticed that her mother was into making breakfast, for everyone from what she could tell. From what she heard from her brothers, her mother actually made the best breakfasts after fighting with their father; after breakfast was always another story. It was probably because her mother had plenty of aggravation built up and had very few places to direct it, which Shego thought could have been cured if her mother simply kneed her father in the stomach, or maybe even lower. It would seem that her mother did not agree, though; she could not figure out why that was.

“Mommy, what the hell are you doing?” Shego asked as she looked at a stack of pancakes, which were sitting next to a pile of bacon, sausages, and home fries.

“Making breakfast,” Isabel answered the obvious question.

“For who? The whole country of Romania?”

“Well, I figured I’d make everyone’s favorite things. Do you still like waffles? Of course, you do. I’ll make those next,” her mother practically chirped. It was a bit scary and for a long moment, Shego actually considered running.

“You don’t need to. Why can’t you let this shit go?” the younger woman inquired. She sounded tired and she had just woken up. She did not understand why her mother chose to torment herself and others as they were doing.

“Sweetheart, you can’t just let your family go. They’re there forever, especially when you have kids.”

“Is that why you run away?” Shego asked. Her mother acted like such a sage, but it seemed like a big pretense if anyone were to examine her life from when she was around nineteen all the way up until now, in her daughter’s opinion anyway.

“We merely part ways before someone is seriously injured, physically and emotionally. Can I do something for you, dearest?” Isabel countered, still in a sappy mood if someone was to ask her daughter.

“I’ll make the French toast,” Shego volunteered with a sigh. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim woke up and smelled breakfast. She smacked her lips together because it smelled very tasty. In a daze, she was going to allow her nose to lead the way to the food until her brain reminded her that she was not at home and she did not know the territory that well. So, she might just want to open her eyes at least halfway and have them assist in locating the wonderful smelling meal. She agreed with the suggestion that was offered up by whatever part if her brain that was actually awake and opened her olive green eyes as much as she could, halfway. She noticed that there were stairs a few feet away and she groaned. 

“Too much work,” she decided that she would not take the stairs.

Kim walked to the edge of the room, stopping at the three and a half foot wall. She leaped over the side without thinking, as it was much too early in the morning for thinking and it seemed that her whole brain had not clicked on yet. She luckily did not land on anyone or anything, but she still did catch the twins’ attention immediately. The pair of match-heads was standing in the dining room, which looked into the living room, and they were gaping at their sister’s graceful pet.

“That was…” Walter started.

“…Very hot,” Wallace finished.

“Totally,” the both muttered while knocking their fists together in agreement.

“Is Princess up?” Shego asked, noting the look of raw lust in her youngest brothers’ faces.

“So are we,” the twins remarked.

“Wally, it’s too early in the morning for that kind of talk,” Isabel reprimanded the boys.

Kim wandered into the kitchen and without thinking, greeted her mistress with a morning hug. She was running on autopilot at the moment and not much was registering to her clouded mind. Shego groaned, but she allowed the embrace and she did not say anything about it. She also ignored the stares coming from her father and brothers. She rubbed the top of Kim’s head and then pointed her disoriented pet in the direction of her breakfast, which was waiting for her on the counter. Kim went to go eat and the twins flanked her on both sides, so she could not escape. The boys would agree that it was good to have a clone.

“So, Princess, do you like having your belly rubbed?” Walter asked.

“Do you lick yourself for a bath?” Wallace inquired.

“Do you two just want to die?” Shego countered from behind her brothers with a growl deep in her throat. The twins actually thought on the question.

“Can your pet flash us before hand?” Walter retorted.

“And can we cop a feel first?” Wallace added.

“You two! Stop talking like that,” Jason commanded the twins. The ruby-eyed males did not look affected by the order in the slightest.

“What? We just want to share our sister’s pet,” Walter commented, grinning up a storm while he spoke.

“Like family should,” Wallace added to his double’s remark while sporting his own licentious smile. They would dare any man to not be turned on by a curvy girl in a collar that leaped off of second levels like it was nothing. They were certain there was no such straight man in existence.

“Besides, there’s nothing wrong with two guys admiring a pretty girl,” Walter argued.

“It’s not normal—” Hego started to counter, but opened with the wrong line it would seem because Wallace quickly interjected.

“Since when is it not normal for two guys to admire a pretty girl? I haven’t met a pretty girl that we haven’t admired,” Wallace commented.

“Maybe it’s just that Hego’s mad because he hasn’t gone through puberty yet,” Walter quipped.

“I’ve have gone through puberty, thank you very much. It’s not normal for you two to try and sleep with a girl that you just met,” Hego stated.

The twins looked at each other as if asking since when was it not normal to try and sleep with a girl that they just met. They had not gotten the memo on that one. All they knew was that when they saw a sexy female, they tried to talk to her, especially their sister’s pet because she was a sexy female in a collar. How could Hego resist such a temptation, they wondered, because they knew that they were caught hook, line, and sinker the second that they saw her. He was either hiding his attraction or gay, they figured.

“Hego, are you trying to say you’re normal?” Mego inquired. If Hego was normal, then there was no pride involved in being normal if anyone bothered to ask Mego, which they should bother with in his opinion.

“Yes,” Hego replied confidently.

“How in the hell are you normal? You’re a former superhero that’s damn near thirty working at a fucking taco hut and you’ve never been laid,” Shego pointed out. He was probably the least normal out of all of them and that was saying a lot when he had siblings where his sister had a girl for a pet and his twin brothers seemed to think that they were one person. There was not even enough time in the day to go into what was wrong with the middle kid, but it was efficient to say that he was probably suffering from the worst case of middle-child syndrome of all time.

“She’s got you there,” the twins concurred.

“I’m not a former superhero,” the eldest brother protested. His siblings could not believe that out of everything that Shego said to him, he chose to object to being referred to as a former superhero.

“Oy, why am I even getting into this?” Shego sighed and decided to withdraw before the conversation got any stupider.

“Yeah, let’s have some French toast,” Walter said to Wallace.

“Bet,” Wallace agreed and the scarlet-haired duo went to have some breakfast.

“I hope you made my favorite breakfast food too, sis,” Mego said as he entered the kitchen behind the twins.

“I’m not cooking for you. You need to talk to your mother,” Shego replied.

“Shego, why do you always do that? You know your little brother is just looking for your attention,” Isabel pointed out.

“He needs to stand on his own feet. I don’t see anyone else around here looking for my damn attention,” Shego countered and then she noted that her pet was about to open her mouth. “And, Pumpkin, if you saying thing, I’m taking your food away,” she informed the girl.

“I’m just sitting here!” Kim whined. Shego reached for the plate and Kim pretended to cry as her mistress tried to confiscate her breakfast.

“Shego, leave the girl alone,” Isabel commanded.

“No,” Shego answered.

“Please!” Kim wailed for her food.

“Oh, shut up,” Shego ordered and she put the redhead’s plate back where it was. Kim breathed a sigh of relief and then stuck her tongue out at her evil master. Shego glared at her brat.

“I’ll be good,” Kim squeaked because of the stare. 

-8-8-8-8-

Breakfast was a circus and that was being kind out things. People would have probably paid good money to see the family interact with each other, though. Kim made sure to be quiet because she did not wish to incur her owner’s wrath. Hey, at the end of the weekend, she, unlike everyone else, had to go home with that woman.

Hego continued to offer his two cents in regards to Shego and her very silent pet. Mego kept pushing that Hego should mind his own business and then he added that Shego should just admit that she was a lesbian, therefore making things exponentially worse by hyping their father up along with angering Shego and Hego. Isabel was trying to calm those four down while the twins continued to try to work their way into Kim’s pants, which infuriated their sister, which led to more accusations upon her sexual preference, which kept Hego and Jason on her case, and the cycle pressed on.

The screaming was interrupted by the sound of cawing. The noise grew louder and the family eventually halted because they wondered what the sound was all about. They ceased bickering with each other to go inspect the cawing and found that they might have managed to get trapped in a Hitchcock movie (1).

“What the fuck are all these crows doing around here?” Wallace pondered aloud as he and his double stared out of the glass doors that led to the back of the house. They were looking at hundreds of crows.

“I dunno,” Walter replied.

“Everybody just get dressed,” Shego said with an aggravated sigh. As if the morning was not enough of a zoo, now they were going to have to deal with a real loon. She never wanted to see her family again after this gathering now.

“You don’t think…?” her mother did not even bother to finish the question.

“With all of these bird and no dead body around, yeah. I mean, come on. Does this moron follow you around?” Shego asked her older brother.

“You act like I called him on the phone,” Hego answered with a huff.

“I wouldn’t put it pass you, you fucking asshole,” Shego muttered.

“She’s got a point,” Mego agreed.

“Could you be in her ass a little more, Mego?” the twins asked together with amused smiles on their faces.

“Oh, look who’s talking, like you two don’t own a site up there already,” Mego countered.

“Yeah, but it’s not dedicated to brown-nosing,” Wallace stated.

“Or ass-kissing,” Walter added.

“Could you all just shut up?” Shego huffed. She was so very sick of them all. She was sick of Mego begging the whole damn world to look at him, to acknowledge him. She was sick of the twins making it their mission in life to drive her stark raving mad and she was just plain sick of Hego. But, she had been plain sick of him since the day that he was born; yes, the day he was born. She knew she had not been alive then, but if she had been, he would have gotten on her nerves. 

-8-8-8-8-

The family all got dressed quickly and stepped outside. They were all in street clothes because none of the siblings had thought to bring the uniforms that they all still had and probably all still wore from time to time. They went outside to be greeted by obnoxious laughter. They looked up as they were covered by a shadow and they saw a huge bird’s wings.

Kim, being a Possible at heart, wondered what kind of bio-engineering it took to make the eagle as large as it was. She had read many papers regarding genetic mutations and manipulations, but she never thought that those things could be taken far enough to make a raptor the size of a commercial aircraft. It was amazing … or it would be if it were not going to hurt them, as Ron would say.

“Aviarius,” Hego called in his best Superman impression. His siblings all rolled their eyes; why did they have to be related to him?

“Team Go!” the bird-loving villain replied as he hopped off of the back of his giant eagle. He stood on a tree branch.

“Team Go?” Kim echoed.

“Oh, God. Hasn’t anybody told him that we stopped this stupid shit years ago?” Shego sighed in frustration.

“Seriously. We only did this for like a year. When did we stop?” Walter asked Wallace.

“I think like eight years ago,” Wallace replied.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. We got to be normal at end of junior high,” Walter sighed.

“Yeah, normal was so overrated,” Wallace commented. They had not been big fans of being in Team Go, but it was cool being superheroes for the moment that they were, they believed. They actually would not do it now, though. There were much more entertaining things to do in life than run around fighting a guy dressed as a turkey.

“I will have your powers!” Aviarius declared.

“Yeah, whatever. Mommy, watch Pumpkin and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, like try to help. I’m going to kick this bird-brain’s ass,” Shego declared.

“Go, Team Go!” Hego proclaimed.

“Son of a bitch,” Walter muttered while the rest of the siblings paused to look at their eldest brother.

“So, he really did just yell that stupid phrase, huh?” Wallace commented. They just could not believe their eldest brother sometimes; they would not be surprised if he had a bird’s nest where his brain was supposed to be.

“Team Go, meet my flock of doom!” Aviarius shouted and followed that with some maniacal laughter. The siblings were then attacked by all of the crows that had crowded the villa grounds.

Isabel ushered Kim away from the fighting, not really for her safety, but for Shego’s peace of mind. They, along with Jason, stood in the doorway of the villa to remain out of the way. They all figured that the siblings could handle the job.

The super-powered siblings went at the crows without fear; come, on, they were just regular crows. The Wegos multiplied and made just as many replicas of themselves as there were onyx-colored birds. The twins held off the feathered creatures while Shego and Hego ran at Aviarius. Hego punched down the tree that that the villain was perched in. Aviarius nearly plummeted far to the ground, but his huge feathered minion caught him. The birdman went back to laughing like a lunatic.

“What an asshole,” Shego muttered as she flung a highly charged plasma blast at the bird, burning it and causing it to cry out in pain. The eagle dropped its master as soon as it opened its beak to wail.

“This is a bit sad to watch,” Kim commented while the man in the suit hit the floor.

“Well, he is a sad little man,” Isabel remarked. She was not even bothering with watching the fight, as she had a bad habit of critiquing her children’s techniques, especially Shego. It was distracting and vexing for her offspring.

“You haven’t beaten me yet!” Aviarius proclaimed proudly after picking himself out of the dirt. He went into his mock-feather cloak and pulled out a small remote. He began laughing even crazier than before as he hit a button on the controller.

“What’s he laughing about?” Mego asked his sister.

“Hell if I know,” she replied. “Maybe he’s trying to open our garage,” she remarked.

“You know I could shrink—” the purple brother tried to suggest.

“And get eaten by a bird, dumb-ass,” Shego pointed out. _Why the hell are my brothers so stupid?_ Did Mego not know that they were in actual woods with dozens of real animals that would eat anything that was six inches tall? _Him and his stupid power_ , she sighed mentally.

“Hey, shrinking is very useful,” he argued.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself things like that, you goon. No woman wants a guy that shrinks,” she taunted him.

“Shrinking is cool,” he declared.

Before Shego and Mego could get into a serious verbal battle, a giant mechanic bird pushed its way through the trees. The siblings faces all dropped, including every Wego in the area. It seemed that Aviarius was under the impression that they were going to be beaten by a forty-foot ostrich.

“He has got to be on drugs,” Shego muttered about the villain.

“Tremble in fear!” Aviarius shouted.

“Why? Because of your giant chicken?” Shego remarked. She was now convinced that the man was on drugs. She was not sure which ones, but he had to be on them hard.

“I think it’s more of a vulture,” Mego corrected his sister.

“Or maybe a condor,” a Wego offered.

“What about a buzzard?” another Wego suggested.

“It’s an emu!” Aviarius informed the siblings as if that made things any better.

“Who even gives a fuck? It’s a duck and I’m going to cook it,” Shego declared while igniting her hands.

The emerald-eyed female launched herself at the monstrous mechanical bird, fully intent on melting the thing into a pile of liquid metal. The machine turned to her and opened its mouth. It blew a giant, pink bubble at the woman and before she even realized what was going on, she was trapped in the bubble. Shego could not believe what just happened and she scowled. Her mother and the twins were never going to let her live the moment down. She could hear them now, “Hey, remember that time you got trapped in a pink bubble by a giant pigeon?” She groaned.

The mechanized emu turned its attention to the other siblings, catching Hego before any of the other brothers. It then turned to Mego, who escaped capture by shrinking. He snickered and was about to gloat about his great power when a lizard sneaked up on him while he was short. It hissed and frightened him. Startled, the purple-skinned fellow went back to his normal size and was caught in a bubble a second later.

“This doesn’t look good,” Isabel muttered while remaining passive about the whole situation.

“Don’t worry about it. Wego will hold him off until Hego can force his way out,” Jason commented.

“Well, I believe that Wally can hold him off. I’m not so certain about Hector forcing his way out,” Isabel said and then motioned to Hego, who was trying to punch his way free of the pink prison. He was not getting anywhere. “Heaven forbid that he should stop and think,” Isabel muttered, too low for anyone to hear.

The twins figured that there was safety in numbers, so whenever one Wego was caught, he was replaced by another one. They were going to see if they could make more copies than that bird could make bubbles. He had to have a limit of some kind. A few seconds later, the outlook was not so good and the Wegos were running out of space and energy while the bird seemed to be going strong.

“Okay, brain, it might be our turn,” Kim commented under her breath and she ran off toward the action.

“Oh, dear. Wait!” Isabel called to the redhead, but the girl did not stop. Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator while quickly scaling a tree.

“Hey, Kim,” Wade greeted her.

“Hey, Wade. I’m in a bit of a sitch. I could use your help,” Kim informed him.

“With?”

“What’s the best way to stop a giant, electronic emu?”

“Electronic emu?” he echoed. “What kind of mess are you in?”

Instead of explaining because that would have taken way too much time, Kim pointed the Kimmunicator screen in the direction of the action to give Wade an idea of what she was going on about. She heard him mutter an “oh.” She then turned the screen back to herself to talk with the computer genius.

“So?” she asked.

“It didn’t look too complex. Give me a second,” Wade replied.

“Take your time,” she said while pulling out her grappling gun.

“I’ve finally got the whole set!” Aviarius hollered to the mountains it would seem. He chuckled insanely again.

The redhead rolled her olive eyes. _What is it with bad guys and the evil laughter?_ At least he was amused, therefore distracted. She shot her grappling hook at the colossal, clockwork bird and it caught it around the neck near the head. She then quickly wrapped the cable around the tree trunk that she was, securing the bird to the plant and hopefully keeping it from turning its head too much, which would make it very difficult for the thing to blow those bubbles.

“What the…?” Aviarius turned his attention to Kim. “Who the heck are you?” he demanded.

“Princess,” Shego growled in fury, glaring at her disobedient pet.

“I’m in deep trouble,” Kim remarked. She could tell that much from the look of rage in her mistress’ eyes. The noise that her master made was not very promising either. “Wade, tell me you got something,” she pled because maybe if she got things done quickly then she would avoid getting into worse trouble.

“I thought I could take my time,” Wade joked.

“That was before Shego glared at me,” Kim replied.

“Oh, well, as far as I can tell, it’s just like any other toy. If you get the remote and connect it to the Kimmunicator, I can short circuit it,” he explained.

“Spanking.”

The redhead decided to act fast to avoid stressing Shego out anymore than her mere involvement already seemed to do. She leaped out of the tree and charged Aviarius while his oversized emu did not pay her any mind. It was only programmed to go after Team Go, it seemed. But, since its head was now limited in mobility, it gave the twins a chance to create a few more Wegos to assist their sister’s pet.

Kim easily kicked the remote out of Aviarius’ hand, as he seemed to panic a bit when she had launched her attack. The Wegos held down the birdman, just in case he had something else up his sleeve or in his cape. Kim went to work and connected the remote to her Kimmunicator.

“Wade, it’s all you,” the petite redhead informed the computer genius.

“Gotcha,” Wade replied.

Kim aimed the little blue device at the mechanical bird and Wade went to work. A second later and there was smoking coming from the enormous emu. The machine collapsed and Aviarius groaned. Kim looked around the scene.

“Okay, Wade, there are two things that we now need to work on,” the girl said.

“What?” he asked curiously.

“Well, we need to figure out how to get everyone out of these bubbles and I need you to tell me how to avoid getting hit with a rolled up newspaper by Shego,” Kim informed him.

“Gimme a second.”

“Please and thank you, especially if you get an answer on that latter part for me.”

-8-8-8-8-

1: It’s just a reference to the fantastic Hitchcock movie “The Birds.” Great film, but it’s more funny than scary.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kim’s in trouble. What will Shego do to her naughty pet? 


	8. Dilemma Eight: Mechanical Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know I don’t own the characters or the premise. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, I am just not cool enough to have come up with these characters or the idea of keeping a person as a pet. Characters go to Disney. Premise goes to Yayoi Ogawa.

Dilemma Eight: Mechanical Connection

_I’ve been a bad, bad pet. I don’t know how to make up for what I did wrong, mostly because I don’t understand what I did that was so wrong._

Kim could see in her mistress’ emerald green eyes that the elder woman was infuriated with her. It was the only thing that the girl focused on while the twins were busy declaring that they and Kim made a great team; they were actually still trying to get into her pants in some way. She kept her gaze fixed on Shego as they turned Aviarius and his feathered menagerie over to the proper authorities. It took the police and animal control a while to show up since the villa was a bit off the beaten trail. Once everything was cleared away, Shego was the first to retreat back into the villa.

“Shego!” Kim called, but her owner ignored her. She sighed; what had she done that had been so wrong? She could not figure it out. After all, she had only helped. She did not see what was so wrong with helping. Well, aside from the fact that she had been ordered not to. But, she was a naughty pet almost all of the time and did not receive such treatment.

“Hey, you can make a run for it now,” Hego pointed out, talking to Kim, much to her confusion.

“Make a run for it?” the girl echoed in an extremely bemused tone. If she was going to run anywhere, it would toward her upset owner. What was he going on about?

“Go now, before she comes back,” the indigo-eyed man urged her as if she were a kidnapped child that had just been left by her abductor.

“Oh, I get it,” Kim said.

“You do? Then get going,” he commanded.

“I get that you’re an idiot. I’m with Shego voluntarily, you dolt. She’s not holding me hostage or anything like that. I’m here because I want to be,” the redhead replied plainly for him to understand her completely. He seemed taken aback by such news, his mouth hanging open and threatening to catch flies. It was as if he could not believe that she was speaking the truth.

“You can’t be—”

“I am serious. I’m with her because I want to be. I like being her pet,” Kim declared.

Hego stared at her as if he could not comprehend her words and he really could not. She was a human being, meaning that she could not be a pet. He suspected that she might not be quite right in the head or she had grown used to being a prisoner and believed that she liked it. Those were the only explanations he could figure on as to why she would say such insane words.

“Well, Pumpkin, you know what a good pet would do right now?” Isabel asked the girl.

“No clue. What?” Kim inquired.

“Apologize for being bad. You didn’t listen to her command.”

“Damn it,” Kim muttered. She was blowing her role as a pet big time, she realized. It was one thing to not follow the rules and show her need for her mistress, like by sneaking in her bed. It was another thing to disobey the rules and assert independence. It was almost as if she was saying that she did not need her owner. A good pet would never make it seem like she did not require her owner for everything. The redhead trotted into the house to beg for forgiveness for undermining her keeper’s authority, especially in front of so many people.

“Mom, you can’t possibly condone such an evil relationship,” Hego huffed.

“What’s so evil about it? They’re both happy and they’re not hurting anyone. If only the rest of the world could be like them,” Isabel remarked with a soft smile. Besides, she actually thought that it was a bit cute and it was refreshing to see someone really do anything for the person that she loved, even be that person’s pet. Kim’s sincerity and devotion was adorable and endearing. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Kim discovered her mistress in the back of the house by the moderate-sized lake. She was lounging in a folding chair, frowning as she gazed out into the murky water because that was the direction that the reclining chair was facing. She was aware of her disobedient girl, but did not acknowledge her little monster. The redhead stared at the back of the chair for a long moment. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t listen. You can bop me if you want,” Kim offered weakly. She was not sure what to say.

“I don’t want to bop you and I don’t want your lame ass apologizes,” Shego replied after another long moment. She felt like if she hit her twerp now, she might never stop.

“But, I’m really sorry,” the redhead apologized.

“Yeah, right,” the green-skinned woman scoffed.

Kim pouted for a few seconds and then she decided to show the raven-haired female that her words were very genuine, like always. She walked over to the chair and lay down, right on her angry owner. Shego made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. She was so vexed that her brain could not form actual words to describe and express the feeling at the time. She actually raised her hand like she was going to hit her annoying pest, but she did not go through the striking motion.

The girl was not deterred because of the sound that the elder woman made or of the fact that she raised her hand. She made sure to look her master dead in the eye for her to see that she truly was sorry for what she did. Then she took Shego’s hand and placed it on her back, practically forcing her master to caress her. Once Shego was rubbing Kim’s back without any encouragement, the redhead rested her hands at her mistress’ side and laid her head on Shego’s breasts. She might have found a pillow that was slightly better than Shego’s lap, she considered.

“I’m really sorry,” Kim mumbled.

“Uh-huh,” Shego replied, not sounding as purely angry as she had earlier, but making sure to make it seem like she was still upset. “Just watch what you do with that mouth,” she ordered her pet, knowing that the girl might try something dirty being so close to an intimate part of the older woman’s anatomy.

Kim smirked. “I’ll watch if you want me to,” she remarked in a suggestive tone.

“Keep it up and I’ll let Wally have you.”

“No,” the redhead whined. “I always want to be with you and only you,” she informed Shego and she meant those words. She always wanted to be with Shego and she would stay with the emerald-eyed woman for as long as Shego allowed it. 

-8-8-8-8-

“You know, I think sis just might be gay,” Walter commented as he and his double looked out of the glass doors that led to where Kim and Shego were. They could make out the two figures enough to know that Kim was resting on top of their sister. 

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Mego bragged. 

“Who cares?” Wallace declared with a shrug. They were not the first family in the world to have a lesbian in it and he doubted that they would be the last. As a matter of fact, he would be sad if his family was the last to have a lesbian because there was a segment of the population that he and his twin enjoyed to watch, like most straight men did.

“That’s true, but it does make her pet off-limits,” Walter pointed out in a disappointed voice.

“That’s true,” Wallace dejectedly concurred. The one sexy girl in a collar just had to be claimed by their sister. That was definitely a cosmic joke directed right at them, they believed.

“Boys, Shego and Pumpkin aren’t in a sexual relationship,” Isabel informed the twins.

“Yeah, but that still looks pretty deep,” Walter replied while pointing his thumb into the backyard.

“It does. Hey, we should go find a pet,” Wallace suggested to his double.

“Here’s an idea, how about you at least find two? One for each of you,” Isabel added. Sometimes, it was just a bit creepy when the twins behaved entirely as one entity. She hoped that they did not share one girl when she was not looking.

“Even better,” the pair agreed as if they never would have thought of that on their own. Their mother feared that they did share girlfriends now.

“Mom,” Hego objected to her encouraging such depraved behavior. Honestly, keeping a person as a pet was like having the person as a slave in his opinion and he did not understand why no one else it that same way.

“Isabel, this is wrong. Go stop your disgusting daughter right now and then set the twins straight that what they’re sister is doing is far from cool,” Jason commanded.

“And why would I do that?” Isabel asked with an arched ebony eyebrow.

“Hey, what about setting me straight about it? I think it’s cool,” Mego interjected, but no one even glanced in his direction.

“What do you mean, why would you do that? Your daughter is dragging a girl around on a leash,” Jason pointed out, speaking to his wife. How could she not see the problem with that? It was definitely shameful and mortifying behavior.

“And your point is? I do believe I just heard the girl say not even fifteen minutes ago that she was there voluntarily and she liked being a pet,” Isabel countered.

“That girl is obviously brain damaged in some way,” Hego argued.

“What are you talking about?” Walter said.

“She was smart enough to save your ass,” Wallace pointed out, speaking to their eldest brother.

“Yeah, she—” Mego tried to jump in, but his father beat him to a comment.

“Isabel, you need to do something about Shego and Wego,” Jason stated.

“What about me?” Mego asked.

“I’m not doing anything. You want to step in, be my guest. Just wear a cup if you’re going to confront Shego about all of this,” Isabel told her husband. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego could hear her family arguing again. She did not even think to go join on in. She did not make any motions to move from her seat. She continued to rub Kim’s back, which caused the girl to purr in contentment. Shego glanced down at the girl every now and then, just to make sure she was still awake and not drooling on her.

The raven-haired woman noted how peaceful her pet looked, just resting on her and listening to her heartbeat. Yeah, she and Kim unquestionably would have to take a trip again, just the two of them. She knew the girl would love that. She had obviously forgotten that she was supposed to be upset with her defiant pet. 

-8-8-8-8-

The weekend could not end fast enough for Shego, even though there was some satisfaction in knowing that she had made Hego cry an hour before leaving. He had made some smart mouth commented directed toward her little monster and Shego had kicked him in the crouch again. She then said some very hurtful words about him being an in-the-closet homosexual, but he was so scared that he could not even admit it to himself. He did not seem to like that and then their other brothers started muttering agreements, which seemed to bother Hego even more. It was a good final hour in her opinion; her work there was done.

Heading back to where they parked the car was nice for the simple fact that Kim did not hold them up by diving after everything that moved, which she had done when they had arrived the other day. They made good timing, which Shego was thankful for because she wanted to get as far away from that nightmare as possible. They started back home, back to their normal lives.

“So, you and your brothers used to be a superhero team?” Kim asked.

Shego knew that she was going to be questioned to death on the ride home. She had just been waiting for her petite rascal to start. “We did,” she confirmed.

“What happened?” the girl inquired. She had never heard of Team Go and from what she could tell with most of the siblings, they wished that they had never heard of Team Go either. She wondered how they managed to get along for enough time to save anything.

“We were active in Go City for a little while. I left before they stopped, but they eventually got pressed out when Betty started the special crimes until of the police force. Team Go became unnecessary. It was stupid anyway. My father started the dumb team after we got our powers. So, we could all live Hego’s precious dream apparently,” Shego remarked.

“How’d you get powers, anyway?”

“A meteor crashed into this crappy tree house we had.”

“That could not have been cool,” the redhead commented with a slightly horrified look in her eyes, imagining children blasted out of a tree house by a space rock.

“No shit. After that, we became basically lab monkeys for a little while.”

“Why?”

“Well, my mother was gone at the time and Dad needed money to help his flop of a political career. He let these scientists or whatever they were study us and our powers and pretty much do whatever else they felt like. He got his money and then he got another genius idea that we should be superheroes after that. It earned him a seat in Congress. And apparently, since fuckers don’t vote, he stays there for doing jack shit,” the officer explained.

She sounded a bit vexed just recalling how her father had used them. She believed that had her mother been there, she would have at least argued against the plan. But, as stupid as they all were back then, she knew that she and her brothers would have gone along with their father’s idea if only to spite their mother.

“Well, where was your mother?” the redhead inquired curiously.

“Yeah, my mother … sometimes she just left. She’d declare my father to be king of the assholes and leave for weeks, months sometimes. Then she’d come back for a while and the cycle would start all over again,” the pale woman replied. She had to admit that she and her brothers somewhat resented her mother for leaving, but she learned to resent her father, too, believing that he was the reason that her mother left so often and for so long. If only he could stop being an asshole, they might be able to salvage their family.

“So, are they separated now or something?” Kim asked in a confused tone.

“No, they’re still married. I doubt they live together at the moment. I know they didn’t the last time I checked. Every so often they get back together for some reason or another. They stay together for a few months and then, as my mother quaintly puts it, part ways before someone gets killed.”

“Sounds deep,” Kim commented for lack of a better thing to say. She had heard of a lot of things in her short life, but what she was hearing now was kind of new to her.

“You’ve met the family,” Shego retorted.

“I can see your point. Hey, maybe one day, you can meet my family,” the girl suggested with an elfish smile.

Shego could not help smiling back. She reached over and stroked her pet’s head. Their attention was turned from each other when they both heard a surprising rattling noise. The driver sighed.

“I knew it was a bad idea to leave this car in that lot. It’s a brand new car, yet it’s already making a fucking noise,” Shego complained.

“It’s cool. I know a really good mechanic,” Kim declared with confidence.

“Really?”

“Totally,” the younger woman assured her mistress.

“All right.” 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego decided to go check out the mechanic that her elfish monster knew. Kim did warn her master that he was a bit “eccentric.” She promised that despite his strangeness, he was the absolute best person to work on any vehicle. She was sure that he could take care of Shego’s car without a problem.

Shego had to take her pet’s word on it because her automobile sounded as if it was ready to blow up in her opinion. She was not willing to chance losing her wheels because losing her car meant having to take the train to work again. It would rain fire and brimstone before she relied on public transportation again. So, she drove the car to the garage address that Kim had given her. She got out of her car to look around and was noticed by a man almost immediately.

“Can I do something for you?” a short man with slicked back black hair inquired while walking up to Shego.

“I’m looking for Ed,” Shego replied.

“Yeah? What for? He know you’re coming?”

“I doubt it,” she replied, unless the guy was psychic anyway.

“Then what are you even doing here? Ed don’t see just any babe,” the dwarf informed Shego, which caused her to scowl.

“Look, little man, don’t make me punt you,” she warned him.

“Yo, seriously, what the hell’s going on out here?” a blond man inquired as he exited the building and joined the pair that were about to argue, or maybe Shego was just going to kick a field goal with the short man and save her vocal cords the trouble.

“I’m looking for Ed,” Shego informed the new guy.

“Whoa, and you’ve, like, totally found him, seriously,” the blond replied while marching up to Shego like a man on a mission. He smiled down at her, but she was rather unimpressed by the man with an outdated hairstyle and his dingy cobalt shirt. Not to mention he had his name tattooed on his arm. What was that for? In case he forgot, which she would not put passed him.

“You’re Ed?” Shego inquired, mostly because she could not believe that he was the man that her lunatic twerp had sent her to. The man could not even bathe from the smell of him and she was supposed to believe that he could fix a car? Well, she was not buying it.

“Yeah, but seriously, you’re, like, totally hot. What can I do for a babe such as yourself? Because I’d do anything for you, seriously,” Ed remarked.

“Like make me vomit,” she muttered. “I just need you to check out my car.”

“Whoa, what?” he asked as if she offended him.

“My car.”

“Whoa, no can do, little lady. I don’t touch any old, regular car,” Ed explained.

“What? This is a garage, right?” the raven-haired woman pointed out. It looked something like a mix between a garage and a junkyard, but that did not even matter. What better thing could he have to do rather than check her car? What, he had a six-pack and a blow-up doll that he needed to get back to?

“Yeah, totally. This is a garage, seriously, but we don’t do cars,” Ed replied.

Shego frowned; her stupid pet had sent her on a wild goose chase. She was going to strangle that little pest when she got back home. If she even made it back home with the way her car was acting up.

 _Wait a second_ , her mind told her. When her scatterbrain brat was telling her about the place, she said she should tell Ed something if all else failed. Before setting him on fire, she was supposed to mention that “red” sent her if nothing else worked. She sighed; she felt like she was in a bad movie that was set in the 1920’s.

“Red told me that you’d fix my car,” Shego said.

“Whoa, seriously?” Ed asked.

“Yeah.”

“You know Red?”

“Yeah.”

“Red knows some hot chicks, seriously. I guess I can look at your car, seriously. And then how’s about you and me go out?” he inquired.

“How about you look at my car and I don’t whip your ass?” Shego countered.

“Seriously? A dangerous babe, I love it. That’s, like, the best kind, seriously.”

Shego groaned. “Yeah, whatever.”

“But, seriously,” Ed said and Shego knew for a fact that she had just met an idiot. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Spending time with Ed proved to Shego that he was in fact an idiot. He fixed her car in a hurry, but he continued to hit on her in between that time. She restrained herself as much as she could, but eventually she just whammed him with a plasma blast. Much to her astonishment, he was a masochistic idiot because after she hit him, he just tried harder to talk her into going out with him. She was glad when she finally got out of that place.

The raven-haired woman went home and found Kim laid out on the floor for once. Shego arched an eyebrow and decided to mess with her knocked out brat. She leaned down and clamped her fingers over Kim’s nose. The redhead snorted and flailed her arms a bit in her sleep, but she did not wake up and she breathed through her mouth. Shego let Kim’s nose go, waited a few seconds for her to calm down, and then closed the girl’s nose again. Kim whined and moved again, causing her owner to snicker. Shego bothered Kim for almost three minutes before discovering why her pet was sleeping so hard; she noticed a bandage peeking out from underneath Kim’s shirt. The redhead more than likely had a tough mission that she had just come in from.

“What happened now, Princess?” Shego wondered aloud as she collected her girl in her arms. She put the redhead on the couch and lifted up her shirt to see that Kim had her whole left side bandaged.

“If you want a peek, all you had to do was ask,” Kim remarked with a yawn.

“Shut up. What happened to you?” the pale woman inquired.

“I just got hit with a tree branch. I’m okay.”

“Just stay on the couch,” Shego ordered.

“Can I have pie?” Kim asked with another yawn. She winced a bit because she stretched and it hurt her side.

“Sure,” Shego sighed while caressing her girl’s cheek. “Tell me, how in the hell do you know that mechanic guy?”

“Who, Ed?”

“Yeah.”

“A few years back, he worked on a project with the mother of a friend of mine. Me and my friend hung around and kept putting our two cents in while trying to talk them into letting us do something. He didn’t like having us around much, but he couldn’t do anything about it. It’s not that he didn’t like us, but he didn’t like being told what should be done. When he met me, he called me ‘Red.’ The more he called me ‘Red,’ the more I irked him by saying something about their project. He likes that.”

“He likes what?” Shego asked.

“When someone gets on his nerves. Weird guy. Did he fix your car?”

“He’s looking at it. So, he likes abuse, huh?”

“From what I can tell, hell, yeah. I bet he hit on you,” the redhead commented.

“He did get more persistent, the more I threatened to rip his ribs out individually. I doubt I helped the situation by actually hitting him then,” the green-skinned woman realized.

“You better watch out. He’s got your scent now.”

Shego rolled her eyes. “I’ve got a man already.”

“Is that what we’re calling him now?” Kim remarked.

“Watch yourself,” the elder warned her pet.

Kim decided to close her mouth and Shego got up to go make her pet a pie. The redhead sighed; Ed could make his way to being more competition for her. She doubted that anything would come of him and her mistress, but that would not stop him if he were seriously interested in her. He seemed to like the chase more than anything else. It probably had something to do with his vehicle and speed mentality.

As she thought about it, though, she figured that Ed was not even a threat. Shego would not see him again unless her car had a problem. So, it was still primarily her versus Drakken. She still felt like she was losing, even though she was certain that she was winning that race. There was just something about him lurking that spoke of her finishing last.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kim does that rescuing thing that she does. Then there’s just some pet and master time together. It’s pretty much down time after such a trying time of it with Shego’s family.


	9. Dilemma Nine: Chase the Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise. If you’ve been following along you know who owns each. I also don’t own Batman or Twisted Metal, as you may have guessed, they get shout-outs.

Dilemma Nine: Chase the Dragon

_Sometimes I wonder what my pet is doing during the day while I’m at work. I know there’s a chance that she’s just sleeping on the couch, like most pets, but there’s also a chance that she’s somewhere missing a limb or worse. I tell myself not to worry or that I don’t care about her, but an evil voice in my mind likes to point out that if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t think about it._

Kim halted the party behind her. They were hiking through a rain forest. There was a viper in their path. It seemed like the millionth one in the last hour, even though she was fairly certain that it was the fourth one. Well, it was the fourth viper anyway.

If she was counting just the snakes in general that they encountered, the numbers had to be in the high twenties by now. The funny thing was that she was not even annoyed with all of the snakes; hey, they were in a jungle, so she expected the snakes and a bunch of other creatures. Besides, she had been meeting up with reptiles since she started doing missions. It was the idiots that she was traveling with that were tapping dancing all around her last nerve.

The people that Kim was trapped with at the moment was a group of wealthy tourists that thought it would be a smashing good time to take a journey through a real South American rainforest. She bet that they were going to stop traveling with whoever made that brilliant suggestion once they got out of the rainforest. They ended up lost after wandering away from their tour guide only a few hours ago. They were acting as they had been trapped there for years from the way they were complaining. Not to mention, they were bad mouthing the tour guide when he was the one that told them to stay close.

If it were not for their tour guide, they would probably be lost forever. He was also the one that contacted Kim to find the party, seeing as how it could look rather bad for the nation to have lost the very rich, and very stupid in Kim’s opinion, people. She doubted that it would help their tourist industry. She rushed out as soon as she got the call.

Now, what were the people doing that was getting on Kim’s last nerve? Well, that was a long list. It started with the first snake that they had come across and one of the men decided to kill it straight away. He looked like a rather athletic fellow and seemed impressed with his own machismo. She guessed that he had to prove his manliness by clubbing an innocent creature that had not done anything to him, nor had it been in their path. It was hanging out near a tree.

The hero found herself stepping in and uttering a sentence that would become her motto every time that they saw an animal in general. She had to assure them that “it was probably not gong to attack unless it felt threatened.” With poisonous snakes she had to add that “they really don’t like to waste venom on things they’re not going to eat.” Hardly consolation when facing down a deadly serpent, she knew, but it was rather true for many snakes. She knew that most snakes just did not want to waste venom on something that would not fit in its mouth and, even though many vipers could kill a human, they damn sure could not eat one.

It did not stop with them being frightened of almost every animal that moved and they also wanted to slaughter almost every creature that moved. They had plenty of other gripes aside for the local fauna. Every time someone noticed a bug, they were sure that it was poisonous. She was not sure where they got that idea from, but they were not letting it go.

Every snake that they saw was also venomous in their opinions. Kim could not believe how many times she had to say the words “don’t worry, it’s a non-venomous snake” in one hour alone. They never seemed to believe her either, unless she picked the limbless critter up and proved that it was not dangerous in that manner. She had to do the same with many lizards and mammals that strayed too close as well.

In a little while, she thought that she might have to stop and give some biology lessons on the hike out of the place that she would have thoroughly enjoyed if not for her present company. She would not be surprised if the tour guide actually just abandoned them because he could not take it anymore. She would not blame the tour guide if he had ditched the group because they were complaining about the insects and bug bites.

They were in a rainforest. What did they expect? And the ridiculousness did not cease there, either. A couple of them were actually moaning about the heat. Yeah, she could definitely understand if the tour guide just ran off screaming from that lot.

The redhead stepped forward to clear the path of its venomous roadblock. She had come equipped with things to handle all of the vipers and adders that she knew would be scattered about the jungle. She removed the snake with the same calm that a normal person would have while ordering lunch. She continued on her way and about a million complaints and fears later, she got the crew back to the safety of city life. She could not wait to get home herself. Shego would worry if she were not there when the officer got home.

On her ride back to Go City, Kim thought about the mission that she had just done. It made her think about when she was back in the woods. She was comfortable in such places. She was comfortable with the flora and fauna in those places. She was definitely going to study animals some way. She just had to figure out how she was going to do it and what she was going to focus her study on. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego came in from a long, irksome day. She could learn to hate Go City if the villains were going to resort to being clowns and she seriously meant clowns. The man that she had to go after was not only dressed as a clown, but tried to make his get away in an ice cream truck. Now, she was not sure if he played too much “Twisted Metal” or if he had just read one too many “Batman” comics as a kid, but he had left his house looking like a reject Picasso painting. He had thrown flaming pumpkins for some reason instead of pies. She thought that he should have tried for the “Headless Horseman” rather than a clown. It would have been just a bit less pathetic. But, none of that mattered anymore. Once he tried to rub a bank, she got called in and his party was pretty much done before it started.

The raven-haired woman noticed her lack of a hug as she shut the door, so she guessed that her pet was sleeping. She just hoped that the girl was not laid out on the floor like a throw rug again. She entered the living room and saw her little monster was sprawled out on the sofa, lying on her back. She marched over to the couch and inspected Kim to make sure that she was all right, not sporting any fresh bruises or anything. Once she was certain that the redhead was all right, she caressed the girl’s cheek and then went to change her clothes.

Shego went back to living room and sat down like she typically did once she was settled in. She moved her girl to where her head was resting on her lap and then turned on the television, which woke Kim up. The younger woman yawned and stretched, being careful to avoid hitting her mistress.

“You weren’t here all day, were you?” Shego asked while she continued to channel surf. She figured since the girl was uninjured that she might have stayed in for the day.

“No, I went out and saved some people. I was in a rainforest,” Kim reported.

“A rainforest? You really get around. The only tropical place you’ll catch me at is a beach,” the pale woman remarked.

“I like it.”

“I figured as much from the way you acted in the woods. Why do you like it so much?”

“I don’t know really. I’m banking on it having something to do with my natural desire to experience as much as possible. There’s something so infinite about a rainforest to me. There are so many life forms secreted away in there that we don’t know anything about. So many possibilities housed in one place. I saw so many things today alone, especially snakes,” the redhead answered.

“Let me guess, you’re not scared of snakes.”

“No. Should I be?” Kim asked in a confused voice. She had not met an animal that frightened her yet and she doubted that she would.

“No, it’s just that most girls are afraid of certain things. Although, you’re nothing like most girls,” Shego answered.

“Are you afraid of snakes?”

“No,” the green-skinned woman replied. She, of course, did not like snakes much, mostly because they fell into the category of being animals. She figured that if she ever did like animals, then reptiles would be the first ones since they were her favorite color.

“I figured as much. I bet you’re not scared of anything.”

Shego did not respond. She was not frightened of anything tangible. It was those untouchable, unseen things that scared her. The things that she just had to trust were there, not that she would ever admit that out loud.

The older woman bet her pest would not know anything about fearing the intangibles in life. Kim was too impulsive to think about the unknown. She just ran right off into the void to make the unknown known to her. She seemed to just trust that she was not running off of a cliff or something like that. Shego shook her head and petted her girl’s head because of that thought.

“So, what happened in the rainforest?” Shego asked. “Aside from all of the snakes, anyway.”

Kim smiled, obviously happy to relay the tale despite how annoying those people were. She told her mistress everything about her mission. She got to experience the one beautiful thing that their relationship lacked the first time around and that was that she could be as open as possible with Shego now. The best part about that was that even if Shego did not understand why she did something strange or why she liked something, the raven-haired woman never looked at her like she was some kind of weirdo.

There were not many people on the planet that Kim could tell she enjoyed traveling through mud up to her knees, handling poisonous and all round deadly reptiles, or that she enjoyed seeing how many kinds of birds she could name while hunting for lost cities and stopping bad guys bent on world conquest. Sure, she could tell her friends some of the things, but they tended to still look at her a bit odd because those were not things that they could relate to liking. Shego could not relate to some of them, just like everyone else, but she never looked at Kim as if she was anomaly like many other people would.

“Can we have spaghetti tonight?” Kim requested out of the blue. They had been quietly watching TV after she finished recounting her jungle misadventure.

“No, we just had pasta last night. You keep this up and you’re going to turn into a noodle,” Shego replied.

“Come on! I’ll even do a trick,” Kim said. Tricks were for treats, though, not dinner. A trick would get her a cookie at best.

“No,” the pale woman said plainly. A trick was only worth a cookie because her pet was a human being who completely comprehended the words that she was speaking, even though sometimes it seemed like she did not.

“Come on!”

“Stop whining,” Shego barked while grabbing Kim by the end of her nose.

“Let go!” the redhead wailed.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Let go!” Kim began flailing her arms and wiggling about as an attempt to get her master to released her.

“Cut it out,” Shego ordered while grabbing her pet’s arms, so now her brat was having trouble moving around.

“Pet abuse!” the eccentric hero hollered.

Shego smiled a bit and then collected her little monster in her arms. The redhead groaned as Shego trapped the girl by folding her in her grip. Kim’s chin was touching her knees. She could not break free no matter how much she struggled. _Man, Shego’s really strong_ , her brain noted as she strained against her mistress’ hold.

“Now, what were you saying about pet abuse?” Shego inquired with a taunting smile on her face.

“This isn’t cool,” the girl groaned.

“I know it’s not. Now, you’re going to stop whining, right?”

“Un-huh.”

“And you’re not going to bug me about spaghetti again, right?”

“But, that’s what I want for dinner.”

“Wrong answer,” the super-powered woman said and she adjusted Kim just enough to pinch the girl. The redhead squeaked and jumped. “Now, you’re not going to bug me about spaghetti again, right?” she repeated.

“But, that’s what I want!”

Shego pinched Kim again and the girl jerked to the side instead of upwards, which threw off the older woman’s balance. They both toppled off of the sofa and onto the floor. They landed on their sides, but Shego was on top of Kim. The redhead smirked like a devious little imp.

“You say anything dirty and you won’t get anything for dinner,” Shego promised her pet when she noticed the girl’s expression.

“Aw, c’mon. Can’t I make one joke about you being on top?” Kim asked.

“No.”

“Then can we have spaghetti tonight?”

“No, damn it.”

“Come on!” Kim purred at the end of her request and rubbed her head against her mistress’ cheek, much like a kitten would do. Shego groaned; her pet was always pushing the limits.

“We’re not having fucking spaghetti no matter what you do,” the pale woman stated bluntly for her munchkin to get the picture.

Kim decided that she would test that theory. After all, life was about testing hypothesis and theories to prove them true or false. First, she nuzzled her owner’s neck and started whining like a puppy. She had perfected the noise thanks to spending time with Leonardo. Shego was not moved from what she could tell. Man, her keeper could be a tough nut to crack sometimes. Well, then, she would just have to up her efforts.

The redhead continued whining, but added the word “please” in between her whimpers. Shego still was not caving, but Kim noted that she had not been shoved away. She leaned over a bit more to check the raven-haired woman’s pulse in her throat. It was going just a little faster than normal. Maybe her owner was just enjoying the close, intimate contact, Kim considered. It was not like Drakken would ever think to touch the pale woman’s neck with his mouth. She decided to make the moment worthwhile, even though she was certain that it would get her pushed away. Kim’s tongue darted out of her mouth across Shego’s smooth, tasty skin.

The green-skinned woman caught a moan that dared try to escape her throat; it seriously almost made it out. She should have guessed that the girl would try something sneaky like that. She flung Kim away from her, careful not to hurt her mischievous pet, but just get her away from her.

“Bad, Princess!” Shego reprimanded the girl. “You just want to be punished, don’t you?” she asked.

“Um … no,” Kin answered honestly. Who in their right mind wanted to be punished? She just wanted to make the moment memorable. Mission accomplished in her opinion. She knew that she would not forget it anytime soon.

“Just for that stunt, we’re not having spaghetti for the rest of the month,” Shego declared.

“Come on!” the redhead whined. The punishment so did not fit the crime.

“Nope, no more spaghetti. Spaghetti? What’s that? Never heard of it.”

“But, I’ll be good!” Kim insisted.

“Nope, too late for that.”

“This is pet abuse! Pet abuse!”

“Keep hollering like that and I’ll show you some real pet abuse, you tiny terror,” Shego threatened the girl.

“Pet abuse!”

Shego dived at Kim, who rolled out of the way just in time to miss being pounced. The redhead laughed since her mistress had not caught her and had crashed onto the floor. Shego was on Kim in a flash while she was busy chuckling. A gasp escaped Kim and her eyes went wide. The younger female was very surprised when she was captured. Kim yelped as her mistress pinned her to the floor. Shego grabbed Kim’s hands and held them over her head with one hand so that the redhead could not flail her arms again.

“Now, are you done acting up?” the pale woman inquired with a triumphant smirk.

“Did you ever consider that this is what I wanted all along?” Kim countered with a smile of her own.

Shego frowned and thumped her pet in the nose with her fingers for lack of a better thing to do. She then climbed to her feet and went into the kitchen to start making dinner while Kim remained on the floor. The redhead smiled. She loved that her owner could cut loose around her to the point where she was acting almost like a little kid.

“So, we’re having spaghetti, right?” Kim called into the kitchen.

“Hell, no,” was the frank answer from the cook. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Kim was up in her loft reading a book when her Kimmunicator went off. She was accustomed to it being in her pants pocket, so she subconsciously went right for her pocket, forgetting that she was in her pajamas. After a few seconds of searching and not feeling a pocket, she looked down to see why. Oh, there were no pockets, which explained a lot. She looked for the next obvious place, which was underneath her pillow and there the device was waiting.

“What’s the sitch, Wade?” Kim asked.

“Well, it’s not really a sitch,” he replied.

“Then what is it?”

“An invitation. Do you remember a Doctor Juan Martinez?”

“Boy do I. I helped him out on his joint research project with Doctor Lurkin, my favorite professor freshman year,” she answered with a small smile.

“He wanted to know if you wanted to come help him out again,” Wade informed her.

“Really?” she asked a bit shocked. She did not know Doctor Martinez very well. She met him through Doctor Lurkin, who had been her first biology professor. He had joined up with Doctor Martinez and they went out hunting for reptiles and amphibians one summer and it was fun getting down and dirty, chasing cold blooded critters, even if she did get tore up by bugs.

“Yeah, he said you’ve got a knack for his sort of work. Should I tell him you’re coming?” the computer genius inquired.

Kim was about to readily confirm that she would go, but she stopped and thought about it. She did not have a month or so to waste like she did back then. She had a job now and it was a very important job in her opinion. Not to mention, it was a job that she loved much more than belly-flopping into swamp water after an anaconda, which was actually not something that she recommended for anyone that was about her size. Maybe sometime later she could do it, when she felt comfortable leaving her mistress alone for a month or so. Right now, she doubted that her master would be content or even pleased with her being gone for even half that amount of time.

“Tell him that I’ll have to pass on this one,” the redhead decided.

“Really? You usually jump at the chance to go into a jungle,” Wade commented.

“For a day or two, yeah. I don’t have a month to spare on lizard hunting, even though it’s really fun.”

“You’re probably the only girl in the world that thinks lizard hunting is fun,” he remarked with a bit of a smile.

“Hey, you should try it,” the hero stated.

“No, I’d have to leave my room for that,” he pointed out.

“You’re going to have to leave your room sometime,” she said.

He scoffed. “Yeah, right. Hey, Kim, have you ever thought about doing that as a career?” he asked because he knew that she was still a little confused on what to do with her life. He, like many others that knew her, was proud that she at least she decided to go back to school and study biology. He thought that maybe she could use a few suggestions to help her narrow down what she would like to do with herself, aside from being able to do anything.

“What?” she asked, even though she did not want to get into such a conversation.

“Studying reptiles,” he elaborated.

“Reptiles?” she echoed. She did not hold any particular love for reptiles over any other animals. She did not see why he thought that she should study them over some other creature. Reptiles were not even cuddly like other members of the animal kingdom.

“Think about it, Kim. It gives you an excuse to travel the world, hang out in jungles, and dive after anacondas without someone asking what’s wrong with you after that, even though I think someone did ask what was wrong with you after you did that,” he explained in a bit of an amused tone.

“I don’t know,” she said hesitantly. She really did not have a special place in her heart dedicated to reptiles or cold-blooded animals. It was just that she liked jungles and wooded areas.

“Just think about it. I think it’s something you’d like and you kind of make your own hours. You could do a lot of good studying reptiles.”

“How so?” she asked.

“You’ve got to be the creature to know about it,” he replied with a laugh.

“Wade, why are you giving me career advice?” she inquired with a bit of a sigh. She thought that she had escaped such subjects by going back to school like everyone wanted. Why could they just not trust that she would get her act together on her own? She was trying and just maybe if she were given half a chance to breathe, she would be able to come up with something.

“I’m just saying,” he answered.

“No, you’re not. Why are you giving me career advice?”

“To be honest, biology is a big field and I’ve already seen what you do with too many options. I thought I’d help by occasionally suggesting things to you. If you don’t like that, ever thought about marine biology? You like scuba diving and you’ve swam with just about every sea animal known to man, including great white sharks,” he pointed out.

“Wade, I’m hanging up on you now,” she informed him because he knew how she felt when people started trying to point her in some sort of direction. She would get there when she got there in her mind.

“Wait, I’ve got ten more suggestions.”

“Goodbye, Wade.”

“But—”

“Bye.”

Kim disconnected the communication. Life was like a vicious cycle with her, she thought. She would get pressured into finding some place to be or having something to do until she finally settled some place and then the pressure would start all over again once everyone saw that it was time for her to move on. She had finally decided to get a master’s degree in something and people were already wondering what section of biology she would focus on. She was thankful that her parents had not started up. Although, she was certain that her mother still thought that she was going to be a medical doctor of some kind and her father still clung to the hope that she would be a rocket scientist. At least with Shego, as long as she was just doing something, that was good enough, which was one of the best things about being with her owner.

“And that’s why I’m going to stay with her for as long as I can,” Kim decided. She wanted to stay with Shego forever and always.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Leonardo makes a comeback. Remember him? Well, he and Kim have a little misadventure together.


	10. Dilemma Ten: Return of the Pup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t own these characters and I don’t own the premise. But, you guys already knew that.
> 
> This chapter is a bit on the long side because I combined two short chapters into one. So, it’s like two for the price of one, right? This will also more than likely be the last chapter where the title is a parody of a Bruce Lee movie. How many people noticed that?

Dilemma Ten: Return of the Pup

 _Sometimes, having an owner comes in handy for things beyond good food and leaving a place to lay your head_.

Shego was having lunch with Doctor Director. She was glad for some company that she would not feel the need to strangle more often than not. She generally had lunch with Drakken because the chief was typically busy, but it was reversed that day. The sky-colored scientist was busy dismantling some bizarre ice machine that a man had been using to turn Go City into a winter wonderland a few days go. She was not sure if it was crazier that he was doing it in the winter or not. All she knew was that she was thankful that there were maniacs in the world.

“Are you almost smiling?” Betty inquired while sipping her tea.

“Am I?” Shego asked. She did not think that she was that relieved that her boyfriend was not sitting across from her, but if she was smiling then she might have to rethink that.

“Really close.”

“Damn.”

“So, what’s got you almost smiling?” the one-eyed woman asked and Shego waited for a sex joke that she was certain would follow the question. The joke did not show up, much to the raven-haired female’s surprise.

“I don’t know,” Shego answered.

“Well, since you’re in such a good mood, let me ask you a question.”

“My mood is about to sink,” the emerald-eyed woman commented dryly.

“No, I just wanted to know when does Pumpkin start school?”

“I don’t know. I never bothered to ask.”

“Well, could you find out?” Betty inquired.

“Why?”

“Because I need someone to walk that damn dog for me,” Doctor Director answered and her employee laughed.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have taken that drool monster. You’re way too busy for a dog,” the pale woman pointed out. One of the things that made having a pet girl so much better than a dog was that Kim did not need to go for walks.

“Look, I wasn’t going to let the little brat just get away with saying I couldn’t tale care of a dog,” the boss commented.

“So, you took the dog to spite my pet?” Shego inquired with a craned ebony eyebrow. She just wanted Betty to hear the reason out loud and in plain words because it seemed like it was her first time saying that aloud. The brown-haired woman frowned.

“Shut up,” the chief said bluntly.

“Whatever. I’ll ask Princess if she’s got time to walk that mutt. She probably misses the little noisemaker.”

“He’s actually a good dog,” Betty argued.

“Do you really want to have this conversation?”

“Forget I even said that.”

“I thought as much.” 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego came home to a strange sound, rock music. She did not use her stereo often, but apparently it was putting in work at the moment. She was going to whomp her little monster if that girl blew her speakers. Before she could shut the door, Kim was hugging her around the waist.

“Pumpkin, what’s with the noise?” the pale woman inquired while closing the door.

“Ron gave me his old CD player,” Kim answered. She had once tried Shego’s stereo and it sounded like it was on its last legs, so she never touched it again.

“Did he give you this CD, too?”

“No, this is mine,” the redhead answered. She had a CD player. Unfortunately, it was at her parents’ house. She lacked the proper funds to buy a new one.

“Did you ever consider that it was too loud?” Shego asked.

“Did you ever consider that you’re too old?” Kim countered.

“What was that?” Shego shouted and she grabbed her rude pest into a headlock to teach her a lesson.

“Pet abuse!” the eccentric hero whined while trying to get out of the hold.

“Now, go turn it down,” the green-skinned woman commanded as she released the little smart aleck.

Kim pouted, but she climbed up to her loft and shut the CD player off altogether. She then climbed back down to hang out with her owner as always. They lounged in the living room, watching television.

“Hey, Princess, how often do you have missions?” Shego asked out of the blue it seemed.

“I don’t know. There’s not really an average I can give you. They’re sporadic sometime. Besides, I do everything from rescuing kittens to giving speeches to saving the world, so I could always be busy if I took every mission that came up,” the redhead explained.

“That’s true. You really should charge.”

“I thought we decided already that I have no head for money,” the girl remarked with an amused smile.

“You certainly don’t. If you were on your own, you’d probably end up a bum.”

“Been there, done that,” Kim pointed out.

“Will do it again if you don’t manage your funds better. I don’t how you lived this long without learning how to handle your money properly. How’d you like to make some pocket change?”

“Doing what?”

“Walking Betty’s mutt every day at about noon,” Shego answered.

“Walking Leo? Hell, yeah. I’ll do it. I’d do that for free,” Kim declared. 

“I figured you would, but I negotiated you a better deal.”

Kim smiled a bit. She had been wondering how Leonardo was doing. She bet that he was plenty big by now. She hoped that Betty was taking good care of him, but she was willing to bet that if Betty was anything like her good friend when it came to caring for a pet, Leonardo was doing just fine.

-*-(New day)-*-

The redhead stared down at the very specific directions that had been given to her, which was good as she was prone to getting lost if left to her sense of direction. It was not that she could not find her way around. It was just that given the right conditions, she was easily distracted and wandered. Shego had informed Betty of that fact, so Kim was given detailed instructions on how to proceed to the chief’s house and what to do once there. Several things were underlined or written in all capital letters in the two pages worth of directives for her to keep the idea in her head of what she was supposed to do.

Kim turned onto the block that the directions told her to and she looked up. She was stunned to see a row of houses instead of apartments. She would have been certain that Betty lived in some swank condo like her mistress did. She wondered which of the lovely homes belonged to Doctor Director.

As the hero searched for the address that was on the paper (there was also a detailed description of the house to avoid and all confusion on Kim’s part), she wondered what would be inside of the house. She entertained plenty of ridiculous thoughts; the first being that the house would be covered in bondage equipment. She though that the house being swamped in black leather and ball gags would be funny, but also a bit expected since Betty was such a control freak. Second, she thought that the house would be dirty and cluttered from top to bottom with all kinds of junk because Doctor Director was an extremely busy woman. She then considered that the woman might have all sorts of a technological knickknacks lying around her house, which would be very fun to mess with.

“Is this is?” Kim asked the air as she walked to the door of house and there was a paper that answered her question. It read: Yes, Princess, this is the right house.

The redhead laughed a bit; Betty must have thought that she had rocks in her head for that paper to have been there. She banged on the side of the door as she was instructed to do by the all-knowing paper. A passage opened under the step of the door and there was a key there. She picked up the key and entered the house. The lobby was clean; yes, there was a lobby. There were stairs leading up to the second floor. She noticed a paper on the banister and went to see if the message was there and waiting for her. It was for her.

“Don’t even think about going upstairs,” Kim read and then she glanced up at the upper level. She looked back down at the note and saw that there was more at the bottom. “Stop thinking about it!” the paper commanded.

“So many rules everywhere,” the redhead sighed. Shego and Betty were both control freaks, her mind commented.

The girl continued down the entrance hall of the house and glanced to the right of her when she passed an arch opening that led to the kitchen. She was tempted to see what was stocked away in the refrigerator, but she was willing to bet that there was a note waiting for her that ordered her not to eat or drink anything. She did not feel like bothering with it at the moment. She just wanted to see Leonardo.

She made it to the living room, which was sunken and carpeted a deep burgundy. She noticed that Doctor Director had a monster entertainment system. She was starting to think that maybe more people than Betty lived in the house. She glanced at some of the pictures around the place and there were a bunch of people that she did not know, but she knew that did not mean the people lived in the house.

She then spied a door on the side with a doggie door in it, so she guessed that Leonardo could come and go as he pleased to the side of the house and maybe even into the backyard. She bet that there was an enormous backyard.

“Leo!” Kim called as she continued through the orderly, large abode of Betty Director. The pup stuck his head out of a room and barked when he saw Kim.

The redhead went over to the puppy and hugged him. Apparently, he still remembered her, even though they had not been separated for more than a few of weeks. She was glad that he still knew who she was. _We pets have to stick together_ , her mind joked. He looked rather all right and she figured that she was lucky that Betty decided to take him in. She scratched his ears for him.

“We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, boy. I’m here to take you for a walk and I’ll be doing that every day,” Kim reported and Leonardo barked as if he greatly approved of that notion. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Kim walked Leonardo every day for a week. He seemed to just want the company more than needing the walk and Kim considered that maybe Betty really just wanted her to be with him everyday at about noon for him to have someone to be with. It gave him a break in between the eight or more hours of loneliness, which was something that Kim could understand because there were some days when she just waited for her mistress to come home. One day, when she was returning Leonardo home, a man stopped her.

“Excuse me, Miss,” the man called.

“Me?” Kim asked because she was not accustomed to being addressed as “miss” unless she was out on a mission or something like that.

“Yes. I was wondering how much do you charge?” he asked as he caught up with her to speak with her face to face.

“Charge?” she echoed in a puzzled tone.

“To walk dogs. I noticed you walk my neighbor’s dog everyday. I was wondering how much you charge.”

“Why?” she asked in a bemused tone.

“Well, I was hoping you’d walk my dog too. He’s not a very big dog. He’s just a beagle. He’s well behaved too, so I was wondering if you could walk him along with Betty’s pup,” he explained.

“I guess…” Kim answered tentatively. It seemed like something that she could do. How hard could it be to walk two little dogs, after all? Two dogs grew into four dogs, which grew into eight dogs. By ten dogs, the canines were walking her. “How’d I get into this mess?” the redhead wondered with a groan. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego was in the park, walking with Drakken. She was not sure who had given him the idea to take her for a walk in the park, but it was not the worse notion that he had ever had. Hey, it was not even on the top-twenty list of bad ideas that he had. So, she decided to indulge him.

He was getting to be a bit of a better companion lately, she thought, but that did not say much. He had moved up on the companion ladder from a zero to a two in “being a boyfriend” in her opinion and that just could have been because she was in a better mood recently. Not that she noticed that she was in lighter spirits than she had been a few months ago.

Drakken only noticed his girlfriend’s mood was brighter recently. He did not know why she was more pleasant to be around. He barely registered her mood, but he knew enough that he might be able to get away with some things without the usual extremely negative consequences. He was aware that it took just a little more to get on her nerves and she was just a little nicer to him.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Drakken inquired since the pale woman was being so quiet.

“I’m all right. I was just thinking about something, that’s all,” Shego replied.

“What?”

“Nothing important.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she replied. It was things like him asking her if she was all right that led her to believe that someone might actually be coaching the doctor in how to be a better boyfriend.

Drakken tended to not think much of Shego’s feelings or what was going through her mind when he was with her. In fact, his philosophy toward her brain seemed to be “to hell with her thoughts.” He used to seem to like to hear himself talk most of the time, but now, he had started asking her about her and what she thought of what she guessed was supposed to be a date. Hell, she had to admit that the walk was better than suffering through karaoke again.

Still, there was a small and bad voice in her opinion that argued a walk was even better when she was with her pet than when she was with Drakken. A louder voice in her head told the small voice to shut the hell up before Shego decided to get brain surgery to have it removed. A pet and a boyfriend were never to be compared. They were two completely different entities.

“You seem distracted,” Drakken commented.

 _Just distracted?_ Shego thought that was being kind. She felt crazy at the moment thanks to her last few nerve impulses that raced through her head. She felt like the cerulean scientist was setting her up by taking more of an interest in her thoughts, but she considered that she might just be being paranoid. Maybe he was learning to be a better boyfriend and that was a good thing. It might even stop those bizarre thoughts of hers where she compared him to her little monster.

“I’m all right,” the pale woman tried to assure her man.

“How about we get some ice cream?” Drakken asked when he noticed an ice cream truck. It was a warm day for the winter, but Shego doubted that any normal human being would be eating ice cream that day.

The green-skinned woman felt odd being offered ice cream. She was used to asking her nutty runt that question, especially when they were in the park. Kim was one of those abnormal humans that would eat ice cream no matter what season it was. It seemed a bit childish, but it never seemed that way when she was out with her petite monster.

“Shego?” Drakken asked.

“Sure, I’ll take some ice cream,” Shego replied. She could eat ice cream all year around because it took quite a bit for her to feel cold.

While waiting on line for ice cream – yes, there was actually was a line – the couple noted a young woman a few yards away. A dozen dogs were tugging her; most of them were fairly large. The young woman and one of the dogs looked mighty familiar, the raven-haired female noted.

“Shego, wasn’t that your cousin?” Drakken asked while pointing at the scene of the young lady being towed by the canines.

“Wha?” Shego replied in a puzzled tone and then she recalled that back when he first met her pet, the girl lied and said that she was Shego’s cousin to explain her presence. “Right, and yeah, that was my cousin,” she answered.

The pale woman watched as Kim was yanked off by the large pack of canines. How much trouble could her rascal get into walking mutts, Shego asked herself. Yeah, she should not worry about the redhead; she would be fine. They were just dogs, after all; her girl had done much more dangerous and crazier things. So, she should go back to enjoying her time with her boyfriend and not think about the redhead. Right, her brain concurred with the plan.

“I’ll be right back,” Shego told Drakken and she jogged off in the direction that Kim was being towed in. 

-8-8-8-8- 

“Come on, guys, can’t we talk this over one pet to another?” Kim pled with the dozen dogs that she was currently tethered to as they dragged her through Go Park. She made a mental note to never bring the pack into the park ever again because as soon as they saw all of the open space was when they got seriously out of control. “C’mon!” 

The redheaded hero could not believe that she had lost control of the situation so badly and so easily. If saving the world was anywhere near as difficult for her as walking twelve dogs, well, the world would have been screwed over a long time ago. She was aware that she was going to have to learn to say the word “no” one day soon. She was struggling to regain just a smidge of control over the canines, but there were just too many of them. Why did she agree to that twelfth dog? Hell, why had she agreed to that eighth dog? If fact, why had she not just stick to walking Leonardo and call it a day? Oh yeah, because she believed that she could do anything. 

“Pumpkin, just what the hell are you doing?” Shego inquired as she jogged up next to her nutty twerp. 

“Dog walking,” Kim answered. 

“Looks more like Princess walking to me,” Shego remarked. 

“Um … yeah,” the girl admitted with a sheepish smile. 

“How did this happen?” the pale woman inquired as she grabbed the six of the leashes in Kim’s left hand and took control of six of the mutts. She yanked back hard on the lines to let her six dogs know that it was time to start behaving. They seemed to get the message well enough and stopped pulling on the leashes with all of their might.

“Well, it started with me walking Leonardo,” Kim answered as if her mistress did not already know that. Her dogs were starting to behave also because she could control the half dozen pooches.

“And?” Shego pressed.

“Suddenly, there were eleven extra dogs,” the girl replied as if the dogs manifested themselves out of thin air. She had a sheepish half smile on her face because of the situation that she was in.

“At least I know why your laundry smells like kibble now. Whose dogs are these?” the raven-haired female demanded to know.

“People that live on Betty’s block.”

“And why in the hell are you walking their dogs?”

“They asked.”

Shego sighed. She supposed that she had just learned to not expect her pet to do anything right, even if she had not seriously messed the job up. She had made a simple matter very complicated. It seemed like something her little monster could screw up now that she thought about.

“You’re so damn gullible. What were you going to do if more people asked you to walk their dogs? Agree, even though you can’t even handle this bunch?” the emerald-eyed female inquired.

“Well…” the redhead trailed off, which pretty much answered the question for her master anyway.

“You’re starting to make me think I should be happy when you stay in the house all day. At least no one can take advantage of you if you’re knocked out on the fucking sofa,” Shego remarked.

“So, what should I do?” Kim asked.

“Take the dogs back and tell those people that it’s way too many of skinny runt like you to handle.”

“Okay…” the girl agreed in shaky tone.

“You’re not going to do it, are you?” Shego asked, understanding that out in the street, her pet was nowhere near as selfish as she was at home. She was kindhearted to fault. The pale woman would show her little monster how to handle parasitic people. “I’ll come with you,” she announced.

“You don’t have to,” Kim replied. She did not desire to interrupt the flow of her owner’s day just because she bit off more than she could chew for just about the first time in her life. She was certain that she could take care of everything if given the chance.

“No, I will. Come on, let’s take these mutts back.”

“Okay,” the redhead agreed. It was not like she could order Shego to not come or something like that. After all, she was the pet. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim and Shego returned to the neighborhood that the hero’s furry companions came from. The first door that they went to, Shego allowed her girl to handle things, just to get an idea of how Kim took care of business like they were doing. The redhead rang the doorbell while Shego stood in the background. When the door was answered, Kim smiled nervously at the man.

“Um … hi,” Kim said.

“Miss Possible, I trust that Toro behaved himself,” the man that answered the door commented.

“Oh … yeah,” the young woman replied.

“Same time tomorrow then?” he inquired with a smile.

“Well…” she hesitated.

Shego sighed; apparently, her rascal should just wear a “take advantage of me” sign to make things even easier on people. She was stunned that Kim had not managed to burn herself out often if she could do anything all the while not refusing a job. She decided to step in before the girl did something that she was going to regret, namely agree to walk the man’s mutt again.

“No, there will be no ‘same time tomorrow.’ Walk your own fucking dog or get rid of the little bastard,” Shego informed the man, who was visibly shocked by her words. One down, ten to go. 

-8-8-8-8- 

By the end of the day, Shego felt that Kim had gotten a good, clear idea on how to decline things. The pale woman believed that she was a good teacher, blunt and right to the point. Her philosophy in life was to spare no one when it came to her razor sharp wit. She hoped that Kim took just some of that away from the day and people would not be able to use her as easily as they used to. She was about to go home with Kim when she realized something that was slightly important. 

“Shit, I left Drakken waiting in the park,” Shego groaned.

“Do you think he’s still there?” Kim asked while trying her best not to laugh. She had to admit that she was thoroughly amused that her master had forsaken the whiny inventor to run a slightly pointless errand with her.

“No normal person would wait that long and not call.”

“So, he’s probably still there waiting,” the redhead reasoned.

“High probability on that one. If only he was fucking normal,” the pale woman sighed. Why did the man not call and remind her that she had run out on him? Any other guy would call to see if she was all right or if her “cousin” was okay or something.

Kim could understand her mistress’ words. Any normal guy would have called after about fifteen to twenty minutes to ask what she was doing and let her know that he was not going to wait any longer. She could have told him that it was all right for him to go about his business had he called, thus she would not feel half as guilty as she did at the moment. It did not help matters that he had been trying to be nice, Shego realized.

“This is a nice fuck up,” the green-skinned officer commented.

“Not really,” Kim offered.

“Oh?” Shego asked in a skeptical tone.

“You can apologize and offer to do something special with him to make it up to him. Besides, at the end of the night, a guy will forgive you for damn near anything if he thinks it’ll help get him laid,” the girl remarked.

Shego was going to argue that, but she thought about all of her pet’s words and figured that Kim might be right. While Drakken was not so very eager to jump into the sack with her like most men would be, the cerulean lunatic would appreciate if she did something special with him. It just meant that she was probably going to have to sit through something that was gut-wrenchingly irksome.

“Maybe I should go see if he’s still in the park,” the pale woman commented.

“If you think he’s still there. Should I just go home or you want me to come with you?” Kim asked.

“You can go home. Don’t touch anything while you’re there by yourself.”

“But, I’m hungry!” Kim whined.

“I don’t want you in the kitchen messing with the stove or something.”

“We’ve got stuff I can microwave,” the girl pointed out.

“Still, you’ll spoil your appetite. I’m going to make dinner as soon as I come in.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Shego sighed. How childish was that? She could not believe she had actually said those words. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego trotted back into the park. She looked around for Drakken and was actually stunned that she did not see the onyx-eyed male anywhere. He was actually smart enough to leave without a written invitation. She was impressed for all of three seconds. 

Since he was not there, that meant she was going to have to really apologize to him. She was going to have to do something extra special with him to make it up to him. She already had an idea of what she was going to have to do. She groaned; she could feel her ears bleeding already. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Karaoke night should be considered an assault crime, Shego thought. She would merrily arrest the entire tone-deaf audience of the club that she was trapped in if only it was. She considered that she might have to have a talk with Betty to see if they could make it illegal. She had, unfortunately, listened to her impish monster and offered to do anything that Drakken desired to atone for abandoning him in the park. Of course, those were not her exact words when she made the proposal, but the meaning was there.

Shego thought that most men would have requested “special attention,” but the powder blue scientist seemed to think that he had enough brains apparently and chose Karaoke. To tell the truth, she would have preferred that he wished for the former and not the latter. She nearly had to slap herself to agree and his face had lit up. His expression was surprisingly similar to that of a man who would have been getting head, she thought.

The super-powered woman could not believe that she was trapped in a karaoke bar listening to her boyfriend sing a song that she had never heard of. She was glad that no one butchered a song that she knew or she might actually get violent. She could not believe that people were really enjoying themselves. They needed to go to real club and find actual entertainment in her opinion.

Shego had a couple of drinks and that did not help things sound any better to her. She also had to watch her alcohol intake; the last thing that she wanted to do was be drunk while in Drakken’s company because she was more than aware of how that could lead to disaster. She had definitely learned her lesson on that one, but she was sure that being a little intoxicated would have made the night more tolerable to her.

“I am on tonight,” the onyx-eyed inventor declared with a grin as he returned to his seat after singing his fifth song that night.

“Yeah, I mean, whoa boy,” Shego concurred with very false enthusiasm. She even did a hand motion to fake like she was enjoying herself. Most people would have noticed that she was being sarcastic more than anything else, but that went right over Drakken’s head, especially since he was so hyped up.

“Do you want to try?” he asked her.

“No!” she answered vehemently. She knew her limits; singing was only to be done in her home, preferably in the shower to avoid embarrassing herself and paining others. No one deserved the fate of her hearing her sing.

“All right. What should we do after this?” he wondered aloud.

“Whatever you want. It’s your night, after all,” she replied. She had told him earlier in the day that she would do whatever he wanted for the whole night because it was his night. She refused to acknowledge that it was an apology.

Drakken giggled like a little boy, much like he when she had right told him that it was his night. Shego was willing to bet her left leg that they just stayed right in the karaoke bar. She ended up bring right and the owner practically had to throw them out of the joint. Shego was stunned that the scarred doctor could stay awake for so long since it was going on five in the morning. She had been in that Hell for about seven hours and that just made her realize something; they had to go to work and be there in three hours.

“Son of a bitch,” Shego groaned in a low tone. _Does every thirty seconds of my life was some new misery?_

“What’s wrong?” Drakken asked with a yawn.

“Nothing. Whose place are we closer to?” she inquired while looking around for her car. She could not even remember where she parked nearly seven hours ago.

“Yours?” he guessed. He did not know why she would ask that question. It had yet to register to his fogged mind that they had work, such things happened when he forgot to sleep.

“Probably,” she agreed. She actually knew that he would say hers because they never went to his place. She had, in fact, never been to his apartment. She had been near his place, but never in it. She was starting to doubt that he had a place, but then again, he did have to go some place when he left work.

-8-8-8-8-

When Shego came in, Kim was asleep, which the pale woman expected. As a matter of fact, had she come in and found her pet awake, she would have beaten the little monster silly with a pillow before ordering her to go to bed and never stay up that late again. She hoped that Kim stayed sleeping since she was not alone.

Drakken was practically asleep on his feet by the time that they got into the apartment. Shego knew that he could not really hang out and had probably been running on pure adrenaline for hours now. Only through some miracle did they manage to make it to the bed after getting out of their street clothes. It took another miracle to get them to work three hours later. Shego even managed to pull off an assignment, if mutant, killer rabbits counted as an assignment. Yeah, she often had no idea what the mad scientists in Go City were attempting to accomplish.

When the green-skinned woman got off work, she did not stick around the place for anything. She just did not want to be there because she wanted to be home. She sped to her apartment like she had a time limit to get there. When she finally stepped through the door she was eternally grateful, even though it meant being greeted by a hug. Kim embraced her mistress the second that she was in the apartment.

“So, how’d everything go?” the eccentric hero asked.

“Can I get into the house?” Shego countered in a huff.

The redhead only smiled and released the older woman. She waited a while for her owner to get comfortable around the house before approaching the subject of Shego’s make up with Drakken. Shego thumped her pet in the nose for being nosy as soon as Kim brought the topic back up.

“You ask too many questions,” Shego stated plainly.

“You never tell me anything,” Kim pouted.

“You’re just a pet. I don’t have to tell you anything and you shouldn’t care,” the pale woman countered.

“But, I do.”

“Because you’re a nosy little brat.”

“Because I like you so much,” Kim replied with a smile.

Shego frowned at the petite redhead. She really disliked how easily Kim said such words to her, especially with that sincere look in her olive green eyes. They were such simple words, but carried such conviction with them when they came out of her mouth. Maybe they just carried too much certainty and that might be why she loathed them. When Drakken said those words or even deeper words, they never carried nearly as much weight as when the redhead spoke.

“Princess, what would you do if I was willing to give you anything you want? What would you want?” Shego asked curiously. She had already found out what Drakken desired, but she wondered what her petite monster longed for. She figured that the answer would help her understand the redhead better.

Kim grinned. “That’s so easy. I just want to stay with you.”

The green-skinned woman could not help smiling back, even though that was not the answer that she was expecting. She still did not grasp the girl in the slightest. What was this creature that she had found in a box two years ago? She just did not understand her pet at all, but she somehow knew that did not matter. She did not need to comprehend the runt in any way, shape, or form because Kim understood her owner. Still, it would have been nice to just grasp where her imp was coming from half the time, if only to get her to stop being so annoying.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shego gets a promotion. So, it’s a celebration, bitches.


	11. Dilemma Eleven: Celebrate the good times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we all know, I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Eleven: Celebrate the good times

 _I never really think about it, but I know that if I had good news, the first person to know would be my pet. Is that weird? I wouldn’t tell my friend or my boyfriend, but my pet before everyone else. Do other people do that? What about wanting to celebrate the good news with only their pet?_  

Doctor Director looked over a stack of papers that were piled on her desk. She had come to a conclusion that she realized was long overdue. She had been reviewing Shego’s cases and reports and everything and she could not believe that she had not gotten the notion in her head a long time ago. She was a bit surprised that Shego had not complained about it, but then again, some things slipped under Shego’s “crank radar.” She decided to call the officer into her office and have a word with her.

“What’s up?” Shego inquired from the doorway.

“Come in. Have a seat,” Betty replied while motioning to the chair in front of her cluttered desk. She did not have an assistant of any kind, so she was left to fend for herself on everything.

Shego did not argue and did as she was instructed to do. She turned her eyes to her boss. The one-eyed woman noted the air of a good mood surrounding her younger friend. She had come to understand that Shego’s little brat made her that way. The younger woman had not been in nearly as pleasant a mood when she had sent her pet away, but the second that Betty had found out that Kim was back, she noticed that her friend’s nasty levels were slowly dropping. Shego was damn near approachable now. Betty could not understand how Kim made her that way, though.

The one-eyed woman knew that Shego and Kim did not have a regular relationship of any kind, so it was not like Shego was getting properly laid every night. From what she could tell, all Kim did was act like a spoiled brat and Shego did everything for her. She did not see why completely taking care of someone made Shego more agreeable than usual. It was not like the raven-haired female had ever shown an interest in taking care of something or someone, so her comrade just did not understand it.

“So, what’s up?” the pale woman asked again.

“I was just going through your file,” the chocolate-haired woman informed her employee. Shego recalled the last time the chief had to review her file.

“So, we’re firing me again?” the raven-haired female inquired. She did not see why she was being fired again. She had not assaulted a co-worker since the last time it happened.

“Last time it was a suspension. You didn’t get fired,” Doctor Director pointed out.

“Same difference,” Shego argued. She had been stuck at home with no one to take out her aggression on. The chief might as well had sent her to Hell while putting her on suspension in her opinion.

“Not really, no. This is more the opposite of firing you.”

“Hiring me?” Shego guessed in a puzzled tone. She had no idea that a person could get hired for a job that she already had at the place she already worked.

“No, you’re hired already,” Betty pointed out.

“Then can we stop beating around the bush and just tell me what I’m here for? I was having a good sleep at my desk,” the green-skinned woman remarked. She was not playing.

“I’m sure you were. No, but like I said, I was going through your file and looking over your work. You’ve been doing a good job with some of the strangest cases.”

“So?”

“Can I finish?”

“Can you just get to the point?” Shego countered.

“Fine, you take all of the fun out of everything. I’m trying to hype everything up and congratulate you before hand, but you want to be pushy about everything like always. I’m promoting you to sergeant,” Doctor Director proclaimed. She had had the notion a couple of times before, but then Shego would go do something crazy, like beat up a person that she was on a stake-out with. Lately, though, that had not been an issue,

The raven-haired woman did not react. “So?”

“It means more money,” Betty clarified it into terms that her friend would care about.

“Oh, well, damn, promote me,” Shego agreed with a smile. More money was always a good thing.

“I thought that you might like that.”

“When does this more money thing kick in?” 

“Immediately.”

“Damn it, why didn’t you promote me sooner?” the pale female inquired.

“Slipped my mind,” Betty replied. If she added that Shego had behavioral problems, they would get into an argument because with Shego, it was always someone else, but never her.

“Son of a … It’s going to slip my mind to help you the next time you get stuck with your family,” Shego commented.

“Are you threatening your superior?” Doctor Director inquired.

“I’m threatening Betty Director, the woman that is named after her nana,” Shego replied smugly.

“Shut up about that,” Betty growled. “Besides, if anybody hears you, I’ll just have to let the office know who you’re named after.”

Shego had been trumped completely. Betty knew her deepest, darkest secret: her real name. She supposed that she should be able to walk around with her real name if the person that she hung out with for life was named Betty and actually let people call her that. But, Shego just could not stomach her name or what it was associated with.

“Anything else besides this more money thing? Do I get my own parking space?” Shego asked.

“Yes,” Betty confirmed.

“A new badge?” The one that she had looked like it had been through both world wars.

“Yes.”

“My own office?”

“And the color of the sky in your world is…?” Betty countered.

“Just checking,” Shego replied.

“Hey, you’ve got some good things going for you in that promotion and people now have to call you ‘sergeant.’ Although, Sergeant Shego sounds repulsive to human ears,” the older woman remarked.

“Look, you had me at more money. I could care less what people call me to my face since I know behind my back I’m affectionately known as ‘that bitch.’“

“You are what you are,” Doctor Director commented with a teasing smile. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego came into the apartment with a plastic bag in her hand. She was greeted with her usual hug from her little pest. She rubbed the top of Kim’s head, causing the girl to smile and mew just a bit. The redhead then noticed the bag.

“What’s that? Something for me?” Kim inquired in a hopeful tone.

“You think everything I come in with is something for you,” the pale woman countered.

“No, that’s just my wish. So, is it for me?”

“It’s more for both of us.”

Kim arched an eyebrow and suddenly her mouth curled into her evil impish smile. “Toys?” she asked with hope in her voice that should not be present considering her mind was way in the gutter.

“I’m going to ignore the meaning behind that question,” the apartment owner decided.

“What? I meant like a new ball or something. We could play fetch.”

“Sure you did,” Shego said sarcastically.

The redhead continued to smile. She watched her mistress put the bag down in the kitchen. She wondered if she could sneak a peek. Okay, she decided that she would try to see what was in the bag as soon as her beloved keeper went to take shower. Shego glared daggers at her pet before going to her bedroom and Kim considered that maybe she should not try to be naughty, just once.

 _Fine_ , Kim sighed mentally. She would be good. She went to the sofa and stretched out. She would wait and see what Shego’s surprise was, she told herself. When the emerald-eyed woman returned, she went to the kitchen, petting her girl on the way there. Kim guessed that the surprise had something to do with dinner. She hoped that they were having lasagna because they had not had that in a while.

A knock at the door disturbed what was supposed to be an evening alone between the mistress and her pet. The redhead hopped up off of the sofa and the scent of dinner hit her nose. Her nose and stomach were ordering her feet to the table while her brain was commanding that the rest of her to go answer the door. Dinner smelled heavenly, though.

“Pumpkin, get the door while I set the table,” Shego instructed her girl.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kim saluted. That ended the argument going on in her body since her master was in charge of everything.

The girl marched to the door and opened it. Her expression did not waver when she saw who was at the door, namely Doctor D. Drakken Lipsky. The teal scientist was rather surprised to see her if his slack jaw and raised eyebrows meant anything. He frowned once he got over the shock.

“What are you doing here?” he practically demanded, as if it was his house and she had broken in.

“I live here,” Kim answered easily, almost smugly. She was tempted to tell him where she slept most of the time, too.

“You live here? Where have you been then?”

“All around the world. I live here now, though. Thank you for asking,” she replied to be irksome.

“Since when?” he inquired.

“A couple of months now,” she answered modestly. It had been more than that and she had been happy to not see him in that time, but he had to go and ruin the streak.

“Shego!” Drakken bellowed.

The green-skinned woman sighed. Why did that man not believe in using a phone? _Who just always randomly pops up like this?_ Hospitality seriously escaped him, it would seem. She exited the kitchen and walked to the front of the apartment to see her boyfriend and pet standing opposite each other. She noted that Drakken appeared quite vexed while Kim was nonchalant.

“What’s the problem?” Shego inquired.

“Why didn’t you tell me that she was living here again?” the inventor huffed, stomping his foot like a child. Apparently, he was offended for not being in the loop. He pointed a finger at Kim to make sure Shego knew exactly who he meant, as if there were other people in the apartment and she would get confused if he did not rat out Kim specifically.

“What does it matter?” she countered. It was her house and he did not live there. Why should it concern him as to who she allowed to live there? It was not none of his business.

“You should tell me these things!”

“You should tell me that you’re coming over,” she riposted.

The redhead decided that while the couple had the rather ridiculous fight of who should tell the other what, she would see what was for dinner, as that was her major concern. She tried to quietly step away toward the dining room, but she was grabbed by the back of the shirt before she was even a foot away. She sighed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Shego inquired with an arched eyebrow.

“Dinner?” Kim replied while pointing toward the dinning room.

“Did I say you could have dinner?”

“No.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Crying if you don’t let me eat,” Kim whined.

Shego sighed. “Let’s go eat.”

Kim dashed off to the table as soon as she was released. She was astonished to see that Shego had prepared baked chicken with Cajun rice and assorted vegetables. That would have been enough, but there was more. On the side, there was shrimp and noodles. In the center of the table there were rolls as if it was the table at a restaurant and there was a bottle of champagne.

Kim smiled brightly. She was not sure what she had done to be blessed with such a great meal, but she silently vowed to cherish the reward. Hey, her mistress could cook and, since she knew what it was like to miss a couple of meals, she was easy to please when it came to food. She was more than thankful to have delicious food every night now. She would truly savor an obviously special meal and silently revel in the fact that Shego seemed to be in a giving mood and wanted to give to her.

“So, do I get to drink, too?” Kim inquired as she parked herself in front of what she believed to be the most plentiful plate.

“Sure you do, kid. I’ve got apple juice for you,” Shego replied. Typically, she would not care about giving her underage pet alcohol, but she was aware that giving the girl apple juice when there was champagne right there would bother her munchkin.

“Figured as much,” the redhead pouted.

“Just be thankful for the spread.”

“You know I am.” Kim smiled elfishly and began to dig in while Shego poured her a fluke of apple juice.

Shego then fixed her surprise guest a plate of food. She was glad that she always made enough for leftovers rather just cooking for herself and her pet or Drakken would have been done in; she did that because it gave her pet something healthy to eat for lunch the next day. She put Drakken’s plate down and poured him some champagne. She then sat down and began eating. She noticed that Drakken had not touched his food.

Many times that Shego cooked, she noticed that it took the ocean-colored scientist a long moment to start eating. She was not sure why that was and she tended to not think too much on it. Right now was not one of those moments.

“Something wrong?” the pale woman asked her boyfriend, barely hiding her irked tone.

“No … I’ve … just…” Drakken did not answer.

“It’s good. You should just jump right into it,” Kim informed the cerulean inventor. If he did not want it, she definitely would hop right on that for him.

“I will. What are you doing living here anyway? Shouldn’t you be with your parents or something?” he huffed at the redhead.

“Hardly. I’m going to Go University if you must know. I start in a little while,” Kim reported as if it was any of his business.

“Why don’t you spend that time at home?”

“I live here. This is my home,” the redhead pointed out, making sure not to sound smug about it. Shego was tempted to agree and scratch her pet’s head for putting the man in his place, but she resisted the urge.

“You think you’re all that, don’t you?” Drakken countered as if that made any sense. And he spoke the words with such conviction, as if he was seriously getting at her.

“Is he drunk already?” Kim asked her mistress curiously. She just did not see where his question came from.

“He is a fly weight. So, I guess the fumes could do him in,” Shego answered.

“I’m not drunk,” he huffed.

“You sound like it,” Kim commented.

“I’m not. What’s with you, anyway?”

“I’m guessing what’s with me is talking to you, so I’m going to stop doing it right now,” Kim decided and she turned her attention to Shego. “So, what’s with the spread?”

“Just a bit of a celebration. Congratulate me,” the green-skinned woman said.

“Okay. Congratulations!” Kim grinned and clanged her glass against her owner’s glass.

“You don’t even know why, do you?” Shego asked in an amused tone.

“Well, no. You haven’t told me,” the petite hero pointed out.

“I was promoted.”

“Spanking!”

“You got promoted?” the onyx-eyed male inquired.

“Didn’t I just say that?” Shego retorted, rolling her eyes. She wished that Drakken had stayed home, so she could have the night that she planned on having.

Dinner continued on with annoying and rude banter being exchanged between everyone. Drakken eventually began talking about Kim wearing a collar and she decided to make him feel stupid by acting like it was the latest fashion tread. He could not really mount a comeback after she declared that it was all the rage in Paris, just grumbling about how modern fashion made no sense.

The ladies also noted that Drakken did not really eat his food. Kim honestly did not know why he had not finished the meal. The food was beyond scrumptious and he would need the energy, anyway. He was the one that was going to continue to benefit from Shego’s good mood, after all. He was going to get to go to bed with her, cuddle her, and wake up next to her in the morning. _Oh, the lucky bastard_ , Kim thought, growling in her mind.

The redhead retired for the night to avoid working herself up thinking about her beloved keeper with that blue dolt. She flopped down onto her futon mattress. She yawned and heard something strange; she heard the front door open, her mistress say “goodbye”, and then seconds later, she heard the door shut. She poked her head out of the loft to see that the pale woman was going to bed alone.

“Yes!” Kim cheered in a hissing whisper.

The younger woman waited the appropriate few minutes that she had just made up in her head one day before climbing down from her space and creeping into her master’s bedroom. She slid into the bed and curled up next to Shego. She sighed contently and closed her eyes. Shego glanced down at her pet. The girl was so predictable.

“Why does she do this?” the super-powered female wondered. She could not figure out why her little twerp liked her so much. She was typically mean to the girl, amusing herself by tormenting Kim in some way. She enjoyed pulling pranks on the younger female. She liked taunting and teasing her petite pest. Kim was like a little monkey to her.

So, what was going in her pet’s supposedly brilliant mind? Did she just like the abuse? Surely there were plenty of places for the redhead to stay where she would be treated better, where she could not be as an entertainment piece. _So, why does she stay with me?_

Kim cooed in her sleep and snuggled up closer to the older woman. Shego caressed the girl’s soft, smooth cheek. She leaned down and lightly kissed Kim near the corner of her mouth. She whispered her thanks, for what she did not know or just refused to acknowledge the reason. She then went to sleep while noting that she had celebrated her promotion almost exactly how she wanted to. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

“Hey, I heard you got promoted,” Will Du commented, speaking to Shego as he came over to her desk at their job.

Shego only glanced up at Will. She disliked him, even though he had gotten his job the same way that she had gotten hers, namely through knowing Betty Director. Will happened to be Doctor Director’s cousin or something. Shego never really bothered to learn the specifics since every time she saw the bigheaded dip-shit, and she meant that in a nice way, all she could think about was how he was a bigheaded dip-shit. Yes, it was just vicious cycle.

“It took you a while. I mean, I’ve only been a sergeant for the past two years,” Will boasted. She supposed that it was a good thing to brag about since he was around her pet’s age, like twenty or so; once again, the specifics of the boy escaped her for the aforementioned reasons.

“Yeah, and you’ve only been a sergeant since then. Speaks to the quality of your recent work,” she riposted. Hey, he practically begged her to say that.

One day, Shego believed that she was going to have to grow up and learn to stop mixing it up with the bighead. The only reason that he was even still alive was because Betty looked out for him. If it was not for her, Shego would have at least made the boy cry a long time ago and that would have just been the start of his troubles from her.

Will appeared offended for just a moment, but he quickly gathered himself. “My work speaks for itself.”

“It says mediocre and I completely agree.”

“What are you two doing?” Betty inquired as she strolled over to the rising verbal battle. She had spotted the pair from her office and decided to intervene before something terrible happened.

“Trying to get some sleep,” Shego answered. “So, maybe you can get Pee-Wee out of here,” she requested, nodding toward the young man.

“Will, don’t you have work to do?” the one-eyed woman asked. The boy frowned, but he walked away. Doctor Director turned her attention to her friend, who was lounging in her chair with her feet kicked up on her desk.

“Do I have work to do?” the pale woman inquired with a smirk since the boss was looking at her.

“Nothing’s come up that calls for your expertise,” the chief answered.

“I can do plenty of things.”

“Acting civil isn’t one of them?”

“Not my strong point, no,” Shego replied with an amused smile on her face.

“We don’t have anything that calls for your specific skills,” Betty assured the younger woman.

“What do I even bother coming to work for?”

“Probably the paycheck.”

“That’s true. This is so boring,” Shego groaned, leaning down onto her desk.

“The day won’t stay boring.”

“What do you mean?” the green-skinned female inquired with a craned raven eyebrow.

“Just thinking out loud,” the boss answered in a dismissive tone, waving it off.

The ebony-haired woman eyed her friend curiously as Doctor Director walked away. She wondered what Betty meant by the day not staying boring. She did not bother to ask again after the chief claimed to be thinking aloud. The day remained tedious. She supposed that most law enforcers would like that and figure that they were doing a great job. She was not like most law enforcers, though. She joined for the action and the need for steady money. Lots of both of those, in fact.

The pale woman yawned slightly as she rose from her desk and was set to go home for the day. She walked to the front of the station and noticed that Betty was blocking the doorway. She arched an eyebrow.

“What the hell is your problem?” Shego inquired.

“You can’t leave yet,” Doctor Director replied.

“Why?”

“Because you’re forgetting our tradition.”

“Tradition?” the younger woman echoed. What was her friend going on about?

“The officer’s tradition on promotions,” the one-eyed female elaborated.

Shego looked puzzled for a moment and then terror stricken the next. She shook her head while the brown-haired woman nodded. The emerald-eyed employee continued to shake her head while Betty grabbed her by the shoulder and led her back into the headquarters. A banner was flung open and it read “Congrats Cranky.”

“Is there beer?” Shego inquired in a deadpan voice.

“About seven different brands,” Betty replied.

“You drinking?”

“Will’s driving me home, so yes. I’ll try not to drink too much, though.”

“Promise me you won’t let Drakken take me home,” the green-skinned woman said. 

“O … kay,” Doctor Director agreed hesitantly. It was a very strange request in her opinion, but she could see why Shego would not want to be drunk around the sky-colored inventor; who knew what crazy thing she might do around him. The least scary thing she could do was sleep with him, of course, but the scariest thing that she could do wild out on him and beat him up something terrible.

“And if I forget, remind me to get some cake for Pumpkin,” Shego instructed her friend.

Betty rolled her eye. Her friend was always thinking of her little, irksome brat. She decided not to say anything since it was supposed to be a celebration. They joined the party that was to celebrate Shego’s promotion, proving that the department did not need much of an excuse to throw a party and get drunk.

It was actually the office’s tradition to have a party for a person who was promoted, even if that person was Shego. It was also tradition to get that person to drink as much as possible to see how much the person could handle. It was a rather dull party when Will had been promoted, but Shego proved to be exciting to watch. Things got even better when Shego out drank their boss. The whole place was awed by how much both women could drink.

“I am the champ!” Shego declared and then she fell over. The office erupted into cheers and laughter.

-8-8-8-8-

Despite heavy drunkenness on her part, Doctor Director managed to help her good friend to her front door. She rang the doorbell because knocking seemed much too complex for her hazy brain. She was lucky to see the bell, let alone to be able to ring the bell. It took a few seconds, but Kim eventually answered the door.

“Hey,” the redhead greeted the pair.

“Hey, we know her, don’t we?” Shego asked Betty in a sort of stage whisper.

“We do,” Betty confirmed.

“What’s wrong with her?” Kim inquired with some concern in her voice. While she and her crew drank a little, they had never gotten as drunk as Shego was at the moment, so Kim had never witnessed such a thing.

“Drunk,” the one-eyed woman answered. She was good to go as long as responses only required one or two words on her part. Any more than that and she was certain that her brain would explode trying to process the information.

“Oh. So, you’re handing her over to me?”

“Yup,” the brown-haired woman affirmed and she practically dropped Shego onto the hero.

The redhead grunted as she caught her mistress and made sure to keep her on her feet. She watched as Betty staggered away down the open hall and to the stairs. She continued to keep an eye on Doctor Director until she made it safely to a car; the hall outside the apartment had windows that looked out into the front of the building that allowed her to watch the one-eyed female. Once Kim was certain that Betty was all right, she turned her attention to her intoxicated owner.

“Come on,” Kim said as she tugged the pale woman inside the apartment.

“You smell good,” Shego commented, nuzzling her face into the girl’s neck.

“Thanks,” the hero simply answered while trying her best to ignore the feel of her keeper’s lips on her flesh. She tried to focus on the smell of alcohol just pouring off of her mistress, but that was close to impossible with how close Shego was and all her pet could think about was skin.

Shego continued to snuggle her face deep into the redhead’s silky neck. Kim took a deep breath and ordered herself to ignore all the lovely touching while helping the green-skinned woman to her bedroom. She eased Shego onto the bed and the drunken woman collapsed onto the pillow. Kim removed her mistress’ shoes and then leaned back up to make sure the older woman was all right.

“How’re you doing?” Kim asked.

Shego did not answer. She groaned a bit and the redhead thought that she should take her owner out of her street clothes, so the pale woman could fall asleep. She bent down to remove the woman’s shirt and as she went for the buttons, Shego shot up and kissed her. It was not a little peck either.

It was a deep kiss that Kim returned on instinct and an unfathomable desire of the woman in bed. The gentle caress of Shego’s tongue sent a blazing fire through out Kim. Shego wrapped her arms around the younger woman and gently cupped her breast, making the redhead even hotter.

“Princess,” the tipsy woman whispered.

“She wants me. Should I go for it?” Kim wondered and she gulped. She was not sure if she would be able to resist the temptation.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Will Kim resist the temptation? Drakken has a surprise for Shego. Will she like it?


	12. Dilemma Twelve: Accidents do happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little reminder, I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. 
> 
> You guys are so going to hate me after this. I can see it already. Oh, I want to thank everyone for sticking with this story.

Dilemma Twelve: Accidents do happen

_I’m a bit nervous. I can see myself doing something beyond naughty as a pet. It’s not really my fault. I mean, I didn’t start it. I damn sure would like to finish it, though. Oh, such bad thoughts._

Kim had quite the serious predicament on her hands. Her mistress had just kissed her, passionately, heatedly, almost pornographically. Just the thought of Shego’s tongue caressing her own made her shudder and now she had the memory inside of her. It would haunt her for the rest of her days and that was only the beginning.

Shego had caressed an intimate part of the redhead’s body and, of course, the petite hero thoroughly enjoyed it. And the pale woman had just whispered her pet’s name. All right, she said “Princess,” but that was close enough for Kim, who was ready to jump right into bed with Shego now and do all sorts of amative things with the other woman that would probably be considered licentious by most. So, what was the problem? Well, Shego was very, very drunk at the moment.

“Should I?” Kim wondered again as Shego continued to stroke the underside of her breast with tender fingers.

The redhead swallowed a moan that was trying to escape her throat as her mistress persisted in rubbing her in such an appetizing manner. She could not believe the gentle, skilled fingers that her master possessed even when her brain was clouded by alcohol. Those prurient digits might just be too much for the hero.

Kim could see herself giving in to the tantalizing situation. She could see herself climbing into bed with the tipsy woman, placing ardent, hungry, juicy, wet kisses all over Shego’s body, encouraging the many cries of ecstasy she was certain that she could bring out of the older woman, and making the raven-haired female know what it was like to be loved in every sense of the word. She could do that. She could do that make Shego forget there was anyone but her.

Shego took Kim out of her thoughts as she leaned up and kissed the hero again. Kim melted into the sweet, alluring embrace. She groaned in both pleasure and sort of a whine before throwing herself away from her owner. She landed against the wall by the door with a hard thud, her chest heaving from the fervent kiss.

“I can’t. I just can’t do it, not with her like this. No matter how much I want this, I can’t do it like this. It wouldn’t be fair,” Kim told herself while shaking her head to attempt to erase the delicious memory of what just happened or she was sure that it would plague her for the rest of her life.

Shego did not call out for her pet. She seemed to forget that Kim was even there as soon as she was too far away to grab. She fell back onto the pillow and was sleeping in no time. Kim escaped the room and dashed out into the living room as if she were being chased by a pack of rabid wolves. She flung herself onto the sofa and rested her face in her hands.

“Should I have gone for it? She wanted me. I want her. But, she wasn’t in her right mind. When I get her, I want her to be completely okay with it. She probably would’ve regretted waking up next to me. Not that it would be so bad. I bet waking up next to me is better than waking up next to that lucky bastard Drakken. She did moan for me and not him. That’s got to be worth something,” Kim reasoned.

The redhead was aware that she had done the right thing by not taking advantage of her mistress’ condition, despite the scorching, magma-like desire that was coursing through her veins. Her hormones were telling her that she did not do near the right thing for them. She went beyond torture in her hormones opinion. She was going to be having some of the worse, yet best, dreams for at least a month. Her skin was crawling just thinking about the dreams that were going to visit her.

“Why doesn’t Drakken just stay here every night?” Kim wondered, not that she wanted him to. She would so be in Shego’s bed every night if she could … wait, she was. All right, scratch that last thought. She was would caress Shego in bed every night if she could, though. She would embrace and kiss the elder woman every night if she could. She would have her mistress every night if she could.

All right, while having done the right thing, Kim seriously loathed, regretted, and resented it. She wanted to seriously bang Shego like it was the last thing that she would ever do! She wanted to make love to that woman all night long, every single night for the rest of her life! She wanted to feel their bodies moving in sensual harmony for hours on end. She felt like throwing a tantrum over it, but she knew that would not get her anywhere. She would just have to wait. Surely, her time would come … right? 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego woke up with a splitting headache. She then rushed to the bathroom to throw up her entire stomach as far as she could tell. She felt a bit dizzy as she climbed to her feet and thoroughly rinsed her mouth out with about half a bottle of mouthwash. She brushed her teeth after that. She then went to check what time it was and found that it was two in the morning.

“Shit. I swear, I will never drink Betty under the table again,” the pale woman vowed, rubbing her temples.

She wandered to the front of the apartment and discovered her pet was knocked out on the sofa. The sight sent an unexpected ripple through her. Something in the back of her mind was associating her girl with pleasure for some reason. She ignored it and went to make something to settle her stomach. Once she was feeling halfway decent, she returned to the living room and collected her pet in her arms.

“You’re still such a pathetic creature,” Shego commented, speaking to the unconscious redhead.

The green-skinned woman marched to the loft and realized that she would have to sling her girl over her shoulder to get up to the space and she did not feel up to even trying to balance Kim on one side. She decided instead of risking dropping her little brat, she would just take Kim to where the redhead would prefer to be. She took Kim to her bed and laid her down. She then went and prepared for bed, showering and putting on her pajamas. She slid into bed and went back to sleep. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Shego returned to the precinct after a backbreaking assignment. She, of course, loved it. She had chased down some trio in new robotic armor suits. Her plasma had literally melted the supposedly high-powered, high tech armor, but it had taken a lot of effort on her part. For a few moments, she thought that she might have roasted them, but she had only ruined the suits. It was a great outing with a good battle and she had won, of course.

She had angered the lab that the trio had stolen the armor from, though. Apparently, they wanted the armor back not melted or something like that. She had not really been listening to their compliant. She would probably hear about it later on from Doctor Director, but she would wait for that to happen.

Drakken noticed Shego smiling from across the whole place. He decided to approach her since she seemed to be in a relatively pleasant mood. He waited for her to go to her desk before going over to her.

“Shego,” Drakken said in a civil tone for him, anyway.

“Yeah?” the law enforcer replied.

“I was hoping we could go to dinner tonight,” he informed her.

“Tonight?” she echoed.

“Yes.”

Shego thought about it. Kim would be in the house with no food if she went out tonight. They had ordered takeout last night and she did not want the girl to eat junk food two nights in a row. Well, she could always bring the redhead back something. Hopefully, Kim would not improvise dinner and eat a box of donuts, which was something that she had done on several occasions; successfully driving her mistress up the wall whenever she did something so silly.

“Fine,” Shego agreed.

“Good,” the inventor stated.

The scientist ended up taking his girlfriend out to a seafood restaurant, which was something that he always did. Shego disliked seafood intensely. She actually used to be a bit allergic it, but as she grew up that seemed to fade for whatever reason. She still could not stand it much and believed her allergy used to be a blessing in disguise. She ordered some shrimp, as it was just about the only thing that came out of the ocean that she would ingest and she was very particular about that.

“I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you out,” Drakken commented.

“No, not really,” she replied in a bit of a dull tone. He was her boyfriend. He was supposed to take her out. He seemed to forget that most of the time and when he did take her out, seafood restaurants always seemed to be his method of irking her.

“Oh, well, I wanted to give you something. You see we’ve been going out for a long time now and well, I…” the sky-hued inventor trailed off and glanced away, blushing slightly.

Shego froze because she did not like the sound of the partial statement and she did not like how he nervously trailed off toward the end. She did not like where he seemed to be going with his words. She hoped that he was not trying to propose to her because that was how it sounded. If he was, what in the hell would she say? She did not desire to marry him, right?

“Well, what I’m trying to say is … is … I … I wanted to give you this,” the water-colored scientist said and he pulled out a velvet case from his pocket.

The pale woman felt her heart race when she saw the box and she knew that it was not a good kind of racing. Her throat seized up on her and she could not move as he held out the case for her to take. Her brain was commanding that her hands move and receive the gift, but her hands refused to listen. Her mind ordered that she take that container, but her body did not want any part of it.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Drakken asked curiously.

“Right,” Shego replied while finally taking the tiny package from him.

She inhaled slowly to calm herself down before opening the box. Her mind thanked the fates, the universe, and whatever divine forces that were looking out for her because there was not a ring in the package. He was not proposing to her. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“So, what’s this for?” she inquired in a puzzled tone. In the box, there was a regular key.

“To my apartment,” he explained.

“Your apartment?” she echoed as if she did not understand. That mythological place existed and she was invited? She did not know whether to be flattered or frightened. Part of her was actually nauseous.

“Yes, it’s the key to my apartment.”

“Are you inviting me over?”

“Well … I guess. You can use it anytime that you want, you know,” he informed her as if he was doing her a favor by letting her in his home whenever the urge came over her, which was never.

“What makes you think I know where you live?” she pointed out.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he huffed. He hated it when she teased him, even though most of the time he did not know he was being teased.

“Easy, trigger. Calm down.”

“Don’t you have anything to say?” he inquired. After all, he had just given her free range to his apartment and he expected gratitude on her part.

“Should I?” she countered. She hoped that the egotistical mama’s boy was not looking for thanks because if he was, then he had a long wait coming to him. In fact, he might want to order a few more courses and hope to live a few more lives. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego had plans to go home after dinner. She even bought Kim a meal that she believed the girl would like and she was going to take it to her pet, but there was a detour. Drakken decided to show her where he lived to make certain that she knew the way. He lived in a tiny apartment, which she expected.

It was a one-bedroom hole-in-the-wall. Shego bet that she could fit about three of his apartments into her condo. There was junk, doodads, gizmos, gadgets, and spare parts littering the living room floor. A glance in the small kitchen told her the tale that he did not own any dishes and he had not taken the garbage out in at least two weeks. The stench that was practically fogging the air banked on longer than that even. _Ah, home, sweet home_ , she thought sarcastically.

He showed her to his bedroom, which was decent. It was also where she woke up the next morning. _Damn it_ , she cursed mentally as she got up from the mattress, which was way too soft, she silently complained. She got dressed and left Drakken in a deep sleep, sucking his thumb.

The pale woman tried to enter her home as quietly as possible. She was hoping that her little twerp was still sleeping, but it seemed that whatever force had cast favor over her last night deserted her come sunrise. Kim was up and dressed amazingly enough, reading in the loft.

“Morning,” the redhead greeted her master as she leaped down from her space. She hugged Shego, but not as tightly as usual. The green-skinned woman pushed her away.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Shego replied gruffly and she started toward her room.

“You don’t smell like you usually do,” Kim commented casual, as if that was something that came up in normal conversations all of the time, and that stopped her owner dead in her tracks.

“What?”

“You don’t smell like you usually do,” the girl repeated.

“I don’t smell like I usually do? What’s that supposed to mean?” the older woman inquired in a slightly offended tone.

“Nothing,” Kim answered with a giggle. It was so easy to rattle her mistress, she noted.

Shego frowned and marched to her bedroom. She tried not to think about her stupid, irksome pet as she gathered materials for her shower, which was going to be long and hot. It was not like her little pest knew where she had been, her mind pointed out. For all Kim knew, she could have been working late, Shego’s brain commented. Besides, what did it matter if Kim knew where she was or not? Kim was just a pet, nothing more. She was a mere pet and what her master did was none of her concern, ever.

The pale woman cleaned herself up and thanked everything plausible that it was finally her day off. She strolled out to the living room, but her little pest was not there. _That girl had better not have left while I was in the shower_ , she thought with a frown. Kim would never think to go anywhere on her master’s day off. After all, it was her day off, too.

Shego glanced up at the loft and she could hear her runt moving around, so she was satisfied that the girl was still there. She decided to go to the kitchen and scan for evidence of what the brat had for dinner last night. She would slay her pet if she ate a whole pie or something just as ridiculous. She would not put it passed her little monster to do such a thing.

“Princess,” Shego called because the kitchen was spotless.

“Yes?” Kim replied.

“What did you have for dinner last night?” the owner of the apartment demanded.

“Food.” What else would she eat for dinner?

“Okay, what kind of food?” the green-skinned woman inquired.

“Teriyaki chicken,” the redhead answered.

“What?”

“I went out with Ron and Yori last night. We went to this new Mexican/Japanese restaurant,” Kim explained.

“A Mexican/Japanese restaurant?” Shego echoed. Who had thought that one up?

“You get sushi and tacos in one meal,” Kim stated, as if that was something.

“Do you get a free vomit bag, too? Who would want those two things together?” Shego wondered aloud. She felt like she was going to throw up just hearing such a mix out loud.

“It’s just what Ron ordered,” the redhead replied. She had to admit that she, personally, never craved raw fish and tacos in the same month, let alone in the same meal. She and Yori had tried their best to ignore Ron as he ate. Yori understood being multicultural and trying new things, but tacos and sushi should have never met in her opinion. Ron seemed to disagree and delighted in having both foods in one meal.

“Did you have to take him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped afterwards?”

“Nah, he’s got a pretty strong stomach. You don’t even want to know the combinations that I’ve seen him eat.”

“No, not after finding out that he ate sushi and tacos together. Come on down here, it’s grooming day,” Shego informed her pet. 

Kim smiled and hopped down from the loft. She trotted into the living room and stood before her keeper. She hoped that they were spending the whole day together. But, she knew that even if her mistress planned to spend the day with just her, Drakken could always just show up out of the blue, uninvited. She decided not to think about that, though. She just wanted to enjoy the day. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego was on her way home. She was distracted from her driving as her cell phone began ringing. She reached for the phone and looked at the number, which she did not recognize. She wondered who it was, but decided to answer it anyway. Her pet could always be calling her from some unknown line.

“Yo,” Shego answered and she listened to the caller for a few seconds before slamming on the brakes on her car. She luckily did not kill anyone behind her because they were too far back. “What?” she shouted into the phone in sheer disbelief and panic.

The green-skinned woman made a frantic u-turn while hanging up her phone. She floored it in the opposite direction while biting down on her bottom lip. She could not believe what she had just heard. It sounded so far-fetched and incredible, but she doubted that it was a prank call. Even if it was a joke, she had to check it. She had to see if it was true.

The pale woman drove to the hospital and was very tempted to park in the ambulance zone for the simple fact that she did not see anywhere else to put her car. She zipped her vehicle into the only free space that she noticed. She leaped from the car and ran into the emergency room. She noticed her father, bozo older brother, and Mego sitting in the waiting room. She joined them.

“What the hell happened?” Shego demanded the details from her family.

“Shego,” her father said as if he was surprised to see her and he was. None of them knew how to get into contact with her, so they did not think that she knew about what happened.

“Tell me what happened,” she commanded them.

“Mom and the twins were in a car accident,” Hego replied simply. He was wearing his work clothes and if the situation were not so dire, both Shego and Mego would have been getting on his case about being a “taco boy.”

“I know that, obviously. I am here,” Shego pointed out. Leave it to that muscle-head to misunderstand a simple order. She could not depend on him for anything, not even simple information it seemed.

“We don’t really know what happened specifically and we don’t know how badly they’re hurt. How’d you find out?” Mego inquired.

“Somebody called me and told me. How’d the accident happened?” the sister asked as she took a seat. The person that called her could not talk for long. He just told her that her mother and brothers had been in an accident and what hospital they were located in.

“From what we were told, a truck smashed into them from the side after running a light. The car burst into flames after another car banged into them from behind. We just don’t know how they’re doing,” Mego replied.

Shego was glad that she could rely on her purple-hued brother to be normal when they were in a crunch. She asked a question and he answered by giving her information that she did not already obviously have. He also answered without losing his mind, which she believed Hego and her father would do.

“Shit,” the law enforcer cursed her breath.

“Watch your language,” Hego scolded her.

“Hego, don’t make me kick your ass in a hospital. I mean, we’re in a hospital and I just might lose it because you’re close to medical attention. I won’t feel bad about putting you in a coma with us being in the best hospital in the city. I’m sure they’d revive you eventually,” she commented.

“I’d like him much better in a coma,” Mego grumbled.

“The world would like him better in a coma,” Shego remarked.

The family sat quietly for perhaps the first time ever and waited for news on the other half of their group. Mego busied himself by writing something. Shego did not bother trying to see what it was. Despite the fact that she often labeled her brothers as “fuck-ups,” Mego and the twins were attempting to get their crap together. Mego was trying to be a freelance critic. He often found work at some magazine that his sister never read, no matter how much he whined for her to so. She imagined that he did all right for himself. Their mother would not have it any other way.

Even though their mother favored Shego all of the time that the children were growing up, as she was her only daughter, Isabel also paid close attention to her younger boys when she got the chance. It just seemed that if things were left up to Jason, he would just steer them into a very peculiar direction, she believed. Hego seemed to be hell bent on doing everything that his father wanted, but the other boys were a little more receptive, especially when their mother stopped and noticed them. She encouraged them to get hobbies and interests to broaden their horizons and give them an idea of what they would like to do with their lives. Eventually, the twins even abandoned listening to their father altogether and became little “mama’s boys,” as the other guys taunted them. 

Shego actually thought of the twins as her mother’s sidekicks a great deal of the time. It seemed like her mother snatched them up after Shego started to try and get away from that mad woman. She did not know how the twins could stand their mother and she did not know how her mother could stand them, personally. 

The twins were always a thorn in Shego’s side, ever since they were born. They used to throw up on her whenever she wanted to hold them when they were babies. She quickly lost a desire to hold either of them. She refused to be near them when they were being changed because they could not be trusted without diapers. They used to throw their baby food at her. It was like the second they came out of her mother, they decided that they needed to drive Shego out of her mind. 

When the twins got older, things did not get better for Shego. They quickly got into breaking her things, which made her lock her bedroom door, which used to drive her mother nuts because she always had brought things for Shego that she wanted to secure in the room, which was always locked. Any time Shego looked to go somewhere, they would ask a trillion questions before and after the fact. When they got their powers, she thought that they might just succeed in driving her insane because there would be way more than two of them to work her nerves. 

And to think, they might die at such a young age and she was not the one that was going to be the death of them. That was not fair, she thought. None of it was fair. A thought whispered across the dark stretches of her mind, “I don’t want Mommy or Wally to die.” 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Find out what happens to Shego’s mother and brothers and who Shego goes to in her time of need.


	13. Dilemma Thirteen: Deep breaths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise.

Dilemma Thirteen: Deep breaths

_When it all comes down to it, I know I hate them. I know I do, but it’s not the same kind of hatred as I feel for others. It’s the strangest thing. Maybe I don’t really hate them, but if it’s not hate then what is it?_

Shego sat with her father and brothers in the hospital waiting room for an undetermined amount of time. Really, a minute was too long in their collective opinion because they wanted to know the condition of their family members. Eventually, they were told that they could go see their mother and the twins, but each patient was only allotted one visitor. Her father and brothers went into see their mother and the twins.

The pale woman tried not to think about anything while she waited for her chance to see her family. She decided not to ask any questions when her father and brothers came back, if the bastards came back anyway. She detested being cordial toward those selfish pricks and had she been thinking clearly, she would have told them that she was going in alone and first and if they had a problem with it, they could kiss her ass before she kicked theirs. _Damn my family_ , she thought with a huff.

After a while, she lost her patience and went to see what the hell was going on and why no one was coming back. She saw Mego running his mouth despite the fact that she could see Walter was actually hurt and did not need to hear their brother’s mess. She glanced at Wallace, who appeared to be sleeping, not that her idiot other brother noticed. She then looked over at her parents, who seemed to be having a moment, which made her guess that her mother was not critically injured in any way. She decided to save the twins from their brothers.

“Mego,” Shego said.

“Oh, hey, sis. I was just telling Wally about the article I’m writing,” Mego reported.

“Yeah, personally, I don’t think Wally gives a shit. But, there was a kid in the waiting room dumping shit on your last article,” Shego lied. She did not even know what the last article was that the middle sibling wrote.

“What?” the lilac-skinned young man huffed and he rushed back out to the waiting room with the intent of depending his writing. It did not occur to him that he did not even know who the person was that his sister was going on about.

“Thanks, sis,” Walter said in a tired voice.

“Don’t thank me. I’m just looking to hurt his feelings whenever I can. So, tell me what happened,” she commanded.

“Oh…” Walter replied and his ruby eyes seemed to search the air for a moment.

“Take your time, kid. How’d you get all banged up?” 

“Protecting Mom. A truck smashed into her side. It’s hard to remember, but I think we made some copies and they got dinged up…”

“I know how it works, kid. You might not get as hurt as a copy when it gets hit, but eventually, the dings add up. Get some rest, big head. I’ve got to hurt Hego’s feelings,” she commented.

Walter smiled a bit, knowing that Wallace needed help from their irksome big brother. He would have laughed, but he was too tired. Shego went over to Hego and listened to him reliving the stupid old days. She could not believe how the man clung to the past like a float in the middle of the ocean. She would think that once a man noticed that his younger brothers were more successful than he was, even with two of them still being in school, he would try to do something more profound with his life. But, no, not their eldest brother.

What did Hego do? He was the manager of a Bueno Nacho. _How sad_ , Shego thought. Mego was a critic, the Wegos were college students and they published an underground comic book while Hego asked if people wanted to “grande” size their meals or wanted to know if they had enough diablo sauce. Something was not balanced there and Hego did not seem to notice. He was too stupid to even try to think of something obvious like becoming a cop, which would have undoubtedly fulfilled him. _He’s always been such a moron_ , Shego thought.

“Hey, goon,” the emerald-eyed female said.

“What is it, sis?” Hego inquired.

“Wally’s sleeping, you nimrod. Leave him alone. He was just in a major car accident,” the green-skinned woman pointed out. Could Hego be any dumber than to bother Wallace after all of the trauma the kid went through? She doubted that it even crossed his mind how worn out the kid had to be.

“Oh, I just thought he’d like to know we’re here,” Hego explained.

“He’s sleeping. Leave the damn kid alone. Let him recover a bit. Just get the hell away from him,” Shego ordered.

“Look, I’m—” Hego started to say in voice that swore he was in charge. She was going to have to teach him one day that he was not the boss of anyone beyond the employees at his little taco hut.

“Hego, don’t make me hurt you. Leave the kid alone. You’re not doing a thing for him,” she pointed out.

The former hero conceded, knowing that his sister was not making an idle threat. He left while she glanced at the dozing twin. She did not bother him and glanced over to her parents. Her mother looked fine, but she decided to not go and confirm since her parents seemed to be into each other at the moment. They looked almost civil.

Everyone was alive and relatively well, so Shego figured that she was in the clear. She had done her part by showing up and she had actually seen everyone. She decided to leave. After all, she had a pet to get home to.

Shego went to outside and noticed that it was pitch black. She looked around and checked her watch and saw that it was almost midnight. She got in her car and stared down at her keys before she put them into the ignition. She noticed the key to Drakken’s swinging a bit. She started the car and glanced down at the key every few seconds. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego sighed as she put the key in the door. She tried to ignore the rundown feeling that was building in her system. She silently opened and closed the door. She crept into the back of the apartment, showered, and eased into bed, her bed. It seemed rather big and empty to her at the moment. She tried to ignore it, but after nearly an hour of tossing and turning, the feeling persisted.

The law enforcement agent eventually got out of bed, annoyed that she could not fall asleep and that the feeling was not going away. She went into the kitchen and tried to find something to eat, but nothing caught her eye, which was all right because she was not really hungry anyway. She made herself some tea, but she did not drink it. It felt suffocating for some reason and she felt as if she could not breathe for some reason.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Shego wondered as she went out into the living room. She sat down on the sofa, hoping to catch her breath. She clutched her chest with one hand and rested her hand in the other. She did not dare think that the emotions of the day might have caught up with her. It was not that big a deal, she told herself. Besides, everyone was fine.

It took several minutes before Shego even considered standing up. She checked the clock on the wall to see that it was three in the morning. She shook her head. She needed to get some sleep because she had work in the morning. She did not want to get back into her bed, though. She then happened to glance at the ladder that led to the loft.

“This is the dumbest shit I could possibly do. I really need to get some sleep to have let that stupid idea even enter my head,” Shego said to herself. 

The pale woman walked out of the living room, fully intent on going back to her bedroom. She reached out and grabbed one of the bars to the loft’s ladder. Before she even knew it, she was climbing up to the area. She glanced around, able to make out some books and other junk; her pet was messy. By the wall in the corner, she spied a blanket with a lump underneath it. She crawled over to that space and, as expected, she discovered her pet peacefully resting.

Shego slid in next to Kim on the thin, but comfortable mattress, and noticed that there was only one pillow. She took over the pillow by gently moving the sleeping redhead onto her. Kim made a small noise, but she did not wake up. Shego held onto the girl in between the way a person would hold a lover and a teddy bear. It only took a few minutes for the older woman to fall asleep. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim woke up and immediately noted that she was resting on her mistress. For a moment, she was very confused. She recalled going to sleep in her own bed last night because her beloved owner had not come in. She had assumed that Shego was spending the night with that blue dolt again. Then she noticed that she was in the loft and in her own bed; apparently, her memory was correct for the most part. But, she was still extremely perplexed.

The redhead considered that her master might be drunk again to explain why the elder female was in her bed, but Shego did not have a hint of alcohol scent on her. She was not sure what to make the new predicament, as Shego had never gotten into her bed before. She was about to move, but the green-skinned woman held her tighter.

“Stay with me,” Shego requested in a low, but clear voice. Her eyes were still closed. She might have just been talking in her sleep. It did not matter; Kim stayed right where she was, right where her keeper needed her to be. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim was lounging on the sofa upside down while channel surfing. She was not even sure why she was doing that beyond the fact that it was something to do. She was waiting patiently for dinner to be ready. She had made it a point to be extra good for her mistress all day long because she knew that something was weighing on the older woman. She had not asked what that something might be because she did not want to embarrass Shego by bringing up the fact that she had crawled into her pet’s bed.

There was a knock at the door and Shego called to her girl to answer it. The redhead flipped off of the couch and trotted to the front of the apartment. She opened the door and smiled when she saw who was standing there.

“Mrs. Gooding,” Kim grinned. And then she noticed the bandage on the older woman’s face. “What happened?” she asked curiously while pointing to the bandage.

“Oh, it’s nothing, dear,” Isabel tried to assure the redhead.

“Are you sure? It looks pretty bad,” Kim noted. She wondered if the martial artist had seen the bruises on her face along with the bandage. She supposed that Isabel could have gotten into a terrible fight, but the marks did not seem like battle scars.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing. Is your mistress home?” the older woman inquired in a slightly amused voice. She was very entertained by the relationship that Kim had with her daughter and it typically showed in her voice.

“Yeah, she’s in the kitchen,” the girl answered.

Isabel nodded and Kim closed the door once the older woman was in the house. The girl took Isabel’s jacket for her and then retreated back to the sofa to return to her upside down television watching. Isabel went to the kitchen and saw Shego milling about the place.

“Shego,” her mother said, which caused the green-skinned woman to turn around. She arched an eyebrow at her mother’s presence.

“Mommy,” Shego said in a clipped tone.

“I didn’t get to see you last night.”

“You looked happy with seeing Dad,” Shego commented. She did not feel like putting up with her mother if the woman was injured anyway. She knew that her mother, thinking that she was some kind of super woman, probably would be very snappy while hurt. Shego knew that she would be snappy if she were wounded.

“I was,” Isabel confirmed. She doubted that her children knew or would even believe that she and Jason could get along quite civilly more often than not. “I’m glad someone managed to get in touch with you.”

“Who was that anyway that called me? He didn’t even tell me his name.”

“He was the nurse that was looking after me. I asked him to take thirty seconds out of his life to call you because I knew that nobody else would and I thought you might like to know,” the older woman explained. Shego nodded to show that she understood.

“Where’s Wally?” the daughter inquired because she did not know what else to say. It was not like she could say she appreciated the information without sounding sarcastic.

She figured that those nutty match-heads would be with their mother, which meant they would know where she lived and they were the last people that she wanted to know where her apartment was located. She would never be able to get rid of them if they knew that information and she would just have to move to avoid the annoyance. The thought alone exhausted her.

“They’re still in the hospital. Wallace broke his shoulder and Walter bruised a few ribs. They both had concussions. The doctors decided to keep them for another day. They saved my life and they got hurt in the process. My baby boys…” The older woman choked back a sob. She did not wish to show any gushy emotions. At least, not without being in complete control of her emotions.

“It’s all right, Mommy. They’re okay and you’re okay, which is the important thing. Besides, Wally’s tough and young. They’ll bounce back like they always do. They’re good. You’re good. Move on,” Shego replied in dismissive tone.

“I’m supposed to protect them,” Isabel argued.

“Mommy, if you came here for abuse, I’m not going to oblige. I mean, believe me, I’d like to kick you while you’re down, but this is too low for me. They’re grown now. They’re, like, twenty or something like that. Let them act like men and protect you every now and then like they did. If you let them stay mama’s boys, they’ll end like Hego. Well, not that bad, but something like it. Don’t worry about the brats so much. They did a good thing.”

“Those are my baby boys, though.”

“Like I said, they’re grown men and they did a good thing. Let the brats go for a second or so and see what happens. They might surprise you. Wait, you said they’re still at the hospital?”

“Yes, they are.”

“All right. How’d you get here, Mommy?” Shego asked curiously.

“I took a cab. Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone where you live,” Isabel replied with a small smile. She knew that was what her daughter was worrying about.

“Good to know. So, you’re cool?” Shego inquired.

“I’m fine. Only some cuts and bruises.”

“See, fine brats you got there. So, you want to stay for dinner?” Shego offered, but made sure to make it sound like the words hurt her to say.

Isabel smiled a bit and accepted the gruff invite. She thought that it would be nice to see her daughter interact with her little pet some more. Their relationship fascinated the older woman. She liked seeing someone that was able to put up with her irritable daughter, but she also liked to see that Shego was capable of almost openly caring about someone. She was glad that Shego was allowing someone to make her happy, even if she did not know it or did not acknowledge; the same could be said with her being affectionate toward her little pet.

Isabel had to make sure not to smile through out dinner. Shego fixed Kim a plate, but left her mother to fend for herself, as her mother expected. Isabel just noted the way the two were around each other, how Kim played to Shego’s ego, but not in a kiss-up way. She could tell that Kim was genuine in her delight with being with Shego and it was easy to gather that the green-skinned woman enjoyed the attention and affection because she still had Kim. Isabel just doubted that her daughter looked at things that way.

Isabel did wonder if her daughter would ever acknowledge her relationship with Kim as something beyond that as master/pet. Did Shego realize how important that girl was to her, the older woman wondered. She supposed that the significant thing was that her daughter kept the little redhead around and everything would eventually work out. Or so she hoped, anyway. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

“Hey, sis!” the Wegos grinned as Shego entered the hospital room with Kim on a leash. They had gotten plenty of looks from those that noticed them as they went to the room, but no one said anything.

“What’s up, losers?” Shego replied. “How they treating you in this loony bin?”

“We got scars,” they informed their sister with smiles on their faces and they lifted their shirts to show off how they had twin scars across their abdomens.

“Could you two be any stupider?” Shego inquired. What were the odds of them getting the same exact scars, she wondered.

“Chicks dig scars,” they both stated.

“You keep telling yourselves that. I brought you morons some cookies,” Shego reported while putting down a box on a table that was in between the boys.

“What kind?”

“Poison,” she answered simply.

“Oatmeal,” Kim assured the twins.

“Our favorite,” they said with grins.

“So, Princess, do we get a gift from you too?” Walter asked, a lecherous smirk coming on his face in almost an instant.

“We are heroes, after all,” Wallace added to help pressure the female redhead into giving them something.

“You saved Mommy, not the world,” Shego remarked. The boys did not even know that they were dealing with a real hero.

“Mom is our world,” Walter argued.

“Totally,” Wallace concurred.

“Sounds solid to me. Here, for saving your world,” Kim said and she kissed each boy on the cheek, which caused them to grin. They then created a dozen other Wegos.

“Don’t forget…” Walter started.

“…To kiss them,” Wallace finished.

Shego rolled her eyes; leave it to them to take something simple too far. “Cut it out, you clowns. You always take things overboard.”

“Okay, we’ll be good…” Walter began.

“…If you let us hold the leash,” Wallace ended the deal.

“Hell, no. She’s my pet, slime,” Shego informed them, clutching the line just a little tighter.

“Selfish,” the twins grumbled. They doubted that they would ever see a sexier sight than a girl on a leash. They wondered why Kim would put up with such a thing. Well, they would wonder why if they both were not so busy imagining holding her leash with her kneeling before them. Yeah, their minds were having all sorts of wild, freaky fantasies thanks to seeing Kim on a leash.

“When do you two fools get out of here?” Shego asked the ruby-eyed pair.

“Tomorrow,” they both answered.

“What are you two doing messing around in Go City, anyway? Don’t you have school and crap?”

“Yeah, but we’re thinking about moving back into town when school is done,” Walter replied.

“It’s a great art town. Mom was helping us look at neighborhoods because we sort of forgot how Go City is,” Wallace explained.

“Well, good luck to you goofs. Stay away from the south side because every neighborhood there is hell. There’s an artsy district you’d probably love over by the big park. Oh, and make sure you don’t come looking for me or I’ll break your legs,” Shego threatened them.

“Why?” the duo whined. “What’s the point in living in Go City if we can’t see and bug our big sister?” They would have to find work or something to occupy their time then.

“You want to end up here again with matching scars?” she inquired.

“Good point,” they conceded. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim was minding her own business, chasing after a rogue elephant that had escaped from a small circus. Her Kimmunicator went off and she answered it while borrowing a skateboard to keep up with the elephant. She looked at the Kimmunicator screen since Wade did not show up. It read that she had an incoming call from Josh Mankey.

“Hey, Josh,” she greeted him.

“Hey, Kim,” he replied.

“What can I do for you?” she asked.

“I was hoping to get together with you and talking some things over.”

“I’m not in Go City right now. How about tomorrow?” she proposed.

“All right. How about noon?” he added.

“Sounds good. Where?”

“In the park by the fountain. We can walk around and talk,” he figured.

“Gotcha. Check you then.”

“Later, Kimbo,” he said and she could just picture him smiling while saying that.

The redhead disconnected the call and turned her attention back to the runaway elephant. How does one stop a huge, angry African elephant from charging without a tranquilizer dart? Kim was not too sure, so she was going to use her typical trial and error system while gathering data because it worked in math. She wondered what Josh wanted from her. She would find out tomorrow. 

-*- (New Day)-*-

“Hey, Josh,” Kim greeted the young man as she caught sight of him in Go Park by the fountain.

Josh was dressed in all blue for some reason. He had colored his hair again, a bright crimson where the blonde had once been. One day, she believed that she was going to see him and he was going to be bald. He just did everything on a whim, so she felt that one day he would impulsively shave his head. She doubted that he was would look nearly as cute as he did if he shaved his head.

“Hey, Kim,” Josh greeted her with one of his usual charming smiles. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“How’s everything going? Ready for school?” she asked.

“Everything is slightly cool. I wanted to talk to you about school, though. Want to walk and talk?” he proposed.

“Sure,” she agreed.

The pair started off walking through the park. Josh explained that he registered for a biology class because of the school requirements. He needed four sciences classes and he had only taken one since he started college, which was horrible since he was on track to graduate soon. He was hoping that Kim would help him out because he knew that when he signed up for the class that he had no chance in passing without her. She had no problem with helping him get a decent grade, but she had to explain that she would help him, but she would not cheat for him.

“So, if you have papers or projects, I’m not doing them,” Kim informed him.

“Deal. I’ve got to learn to walk on my own sometime,” Josh remarked with another one of his infamous smiles.

“I also won’t sleep with you no matter how many times you flash me that cute smile,” she told him with an elfish smile of her own.

Josh laughed. “Damn, I was sure that would work.”

Kim a bit chuckled herself, even though she suspected that he was not joking around as much as he pretended to be. They continued walking and talking, even though they had gotten what Josh wanted to talk about out of the way. They eventually left the park. They strolled down the street, exchanging witty banter. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego and Doctor Director were out for lunch at a café that was not too far from their precinct. Damn slow crime weeks, they both thought. They were sitting at one of the tables outside. Shego happened to glance up the street as what looked like a couple walked toward them. She then noticed that the girl in the couple was her little monster. What the hell was her rascal doing out with some boy, she thought with a huff while scowling. And what the hell was he doing smiling at her pet like that? 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shego gets to meet Josh and hate Josh. She also learns a bit more about her pet’s past.


	14. Dilemma Fourteen: The color green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own the premise. The characters go to Disney and the premise goes to Yayoi Ogawa.

Dilemma Fourteen: The color green

_I’ve actually never felt like this before. It’s so intense. Back when I was younger, I thought I knew what love was, but it was nothing like this and I’m not even sure if this is that type of love. I do know that it’s deep. It’s just that around her, I feel alive, free, and a billion other things that I can’t even put into words. If that other thing was love, then they can have it. I like this so much better._

Kim hardly noticed whom she was about to walk by while she was strolling down the street with Josh Mankey. She was approaching Shego, who was sitting with Betty. The law enforcers were having lunch at a café because it was one of those accursed slow crime weeks. Shego frowned when she noticed her little monster with some random boy as far as she knew. Kim saw Shego when she was about two feet away from the pale woman.

“Shego,” the redhead smiled brightly when saw took note of her master.

She quickly hugged the green-skinned female before Shego got a chance to object to the public display. Shego did push her brat away after a few seconds. She did make sure not to put enough force in it to where Kim would lose her balance. Kim continued smiling.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” the raven-haired woman grumbled as if she was not happy to see her pet. In fact, she just was not happy to see that boy in her munchkin’s company. Who was he, anyway? _He better keep his filthy mitts to himsel_ f, Shego thought with a slight frown.

“Oh, hey, Doctor Director,” Kim said to her owner’s friend. She felt a little more comfortable calling her “Doctor Director” than “Miss Betty” because it was still being respectful, but it did not make it seem like she was a little kid.

“Hey, who’s the kid with you?” Betty inquired rather curiously. The young pair looked like a couple to her, which she thought could prove a source of entertainment. Hey, it was a slow crime week, so she needed something to amuse her.

“Oh, this is Josh. Josh, this is Shego and Doctor Betty Director,” Kim introduced everyone.

“Pleased to meet you,” the artist said politely to both ladies. He then flashed them a cute half-smile.

“Where are you two crazy kids headed?” the one-eyed woman inquired.

“We’re not headed anywhere. We just sort of walked this way,” Kim answered with a shrug.

“So, you’re just wandering around?” Shego inquired.

“I guess,” the girl replied with a sheepish look on her face.

“Kind of stupid, isn’t it?” the emerald-eyed woman commented. Doctor Director glanced at her, but did not say anything.

“A little,” her pet conceded.

“You two do make a point. We’re by a movie theater. We could go check a movie or something,” Josh suggested.

“Okay, but I’m a little light in the money department,” Kim replied and she was about to request some money from her mistress, who was reaching for her wallet already because she was aware of just how broke her pet always was.

“I’ve got you, Kim,” Josh stated, which halted Shego’s movements and caused her to arch an ebony eyebrow. “I sold a painting a few days ago, so I’ve got money to burn for once,” he explained.

“Wow, you sold a painting? That’s just spanking,” Kim congratulated the boy and hugged him for such a feat. Josh smiled a bit, liking the acknowledgment of his achievement, especially since it involved body contact.

Shego scowled even deeper than what she was already doing, which was quite an accomplishment, considering the frown that she had already been sporting. She wanted to say something, but she was not too sure what it was she wanted to say. She just knew that she wanted to express a lot of negative notions and emotions toward Josh for a reason that she did not even acknowledge existed.

“So, you’re a painter?” Betty asked Josh as the redhead released him.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“I could use some color around my house. Do you suppose I could see your work some day?” the brunette woman inquired.

“Sure, I could use the money. What days are good for you?” Josh countered.

“Can you come back this way tomorrow or maybe the day after tomorrow at this same time?” It was doubtful that she would have anything better to do than to sit at the café and probably pick on Shego from the look on her face.

“Sure, no problem. Kim, you ready to get going?” the artist asked.

“Yeah. Bye, Shego. Bye, Doctor Director,” the girl bid the two women farewell.

“Bye,” both law enforcers replied with no feeling at all.

“Nice meeting you,” Josh said.

The young pair walked off. The two city workers watched the duo disappear up the street and then they turned their attention back to their lunch. Shego knew that her friend was going to say something. It was just inevitable. Betty _had_ to say something. After all, her friend was frowning so intensely at the boy.

“He was cute,” Doctor Director commented.

“You’re about ten years older than he is,” Shego pointed out, knowing that was not the something that her smug friend wanted to say. She was aware that the _something_ was still coming and she tried to prepare for it.

“But, that makes him just the right age for your brat. You know, I thought she had a thing for you, but I guess you kept her waiting too long,” Betty taunted her employee. She wanted to see what Shego would say.

“Shut up,” was the pale woman’s brilliant comeback.

“Are you jealous?” Betty teased her friend further. The way that Shego had been looking at Josh, she was surprised that the super-powered female did not just deck the kid for having the nerve to be with her pet.

“Shut up!” Shego barked. Of course she was not jealous of some suave punk taking her twerp anywhere! Why would she be jealous? There was nothing to be jealous of, she told herself.

“You are jealous,” the older woman said as if she were in complete shock. She had not really expected the younger woman to be jealous of that kid. After all, her brat was just a brat and Shego had a man, or something like a man, so there seemed like there was nothing to be jealous of. But, the way that Shego was acting and the look in her eyes told the truth.

“I’m not jealous. She’s just a pet and nothing more.”

“Whatever. You’re jealous.”

“Fuck you.”

Doctor Director only smiled; her friend could not even make a proper argument. She was now fully aware that her good friend was jealous of that boy, if not for his possible romantic involvement with her pet, then just for the fact that her pet was paying someone else some mind, taking necessities from someone else. Shego was supposed to be her brat’s world, but it seemed like someone else was attempting to take the limelight. Betty wondered what her friend was going to do. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Is that woman serious about buying a painting from me?” Josh asked Kim while they were still on route to the movie theater.

“I think so. She’s got a few nice paintings hanging in her house,” the hero answered.

“So, how do you know them?” he asked curiously. He thought that he was going to hear a story about one of Kim’s adventures, but he got a short, simple answer that he was not expecting.

“Oh, Shego’s my mistress,” the redhead replied as if it was nothing. Honestly, who would expect that answer?

To his credit, he did not look completely thrown off, but he choked on air for a moment. “Your mistress?”

“I’m her pet,” the girl explained with a shrug. It had never been much of a thing to her, but now, it was seriously nothing to her. Being a pet was a part of who she was at the moment.

“Her pet? Your sex life must be so much better than mine,” he remarked with a bit of a laugh.

“We’re not like that.”

“No? I thought you liked girls, too, though.”

“I do and I like her a lot,” Kim replied.

“So, what’s the deal?” he asked because he was not following the mistress/pet relationship, especially if it was not sexual. Although it did explain the collar around her neck, which he had thought was some weird fashion thing that Monique might have talked her into.

“I guess she likes me, but not like that. I’m a pet just like a dog or a cat is a pet,” the redhead elaborated with a shrug.

“Really? How long has this been going on?”

“Well, we just started up again, but when I graduated college, I met her a little while after that. I stayed with her for a year, being her pet,” Kim answered.

“What? And I’m just hearing about this now? Why?” he inquired as if he was bit hurt to not be in the loop.

“I never thought of it as a big deal, so it never crossed my mind to tell you,” she replied with another shrug.

“Come on, we’re supposed to be pals,” Josh playfully complained.

“We are. It’s so not the drama.”

“My pet Kimmie. Why didn’t I think of that? You could’ve been my pet.”

“Nope because you would’ve had to put me down after I found you in bed with Bonnie,” she pointed out. She realized that Shego was very special to her because she would have never agreed to just be anyone’s pet and, even though she had started out with Shego trying to repay a debt, it was much deeper than that now. She doubted that she would ever have that with anyone else.

“I would’ve asked you to join in, but I know how you feel about her,” he joked.

They had come to a point in their relationship where they both felt that they could be the bigger person, which was why they were comfortable being friends. They respected each other and they accepted the things that the other did. Josh respected that Kim suddenly had to dash off to do certain things and Kim accepted that Josh was not built for a monogamous relationship. They got along very well in a platonic relationship where they tended to feel that they did not owe it to the other person to change and act a different way, not that either of them had done that when they were together.

“I don’t know what you like about her,” Kim said, referring to Bonnie.

“Your taste in women and my taste in women are obviously different,” Josh retorted.

“Are you kidding? I would definitely date me if I could,” Kim remarked.

“That makes both of us,” he commented and they both laughed. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego came home to be greeted with a tight hug from her little monster. She rubbed the girl’s head before retreating to her room. She sat down and tried not to think about the one thing that had been plaguing her mind all day long, namely her pet being out with that boy and likely going on a date with him. It should not bother her that her twerp had a little punk boyfriend, she told herself. It _did_ _not_ bother her that her runt had a boyfriend, she told herself.

All right, she conceded, she was a little stunned that Kim had a boyfriend. She did not think that the girl was straight, after all. She was aware that Kim was attracted to her. It was not like that was closely guarded secret or anything. Every now and then, when they watched television together, Kim would make a comment that she had dated a girl that looked like someone on television. So, Shego had concluded that the girl was a lesbian through and through. Obviously, she had figured wrong.

She attempted to let the thoughts out of her mind, telling herself that she did not care if her munchkin had a boyfriend. So what the kid had seemed charming? So what he had been a little bit cute? So what he had taken her pet to the movies and did not care about paying the poor girl’s way? And so what her monster had the nerve to hug him right in front of her like that? None of that mattered to Shego. She did not care, she promised herself.

The pale woman decided to do some exercises to get her mind off of her idiotic rascal. She went into her occasionally used gym/office. She had a heavy bag that she started kicking around. She had to be very careful not break it. She worked on the bag for a few minutes before Kim came in.

“Hey, are you coming out to the living room?” the redhead inquired.

“Why?” Shego exhaled, continuing her workout.

“Because I want to lay my head in your lap,” the girl pointed out the obvious. Her usually thoughtful mistress was throwing off her routine by not being in the living room by now. What Shego was doing just could not be good pet care, the hero believed.

“You’ll have to wait,” the pale woman countered. In the back of her mind, she knew that she was trying to punish her pet for being with that boy, but she did not recognize that as the reason for why she had decided to workout instead of going to lounge on the sofa like she typically did. She told herself that she just wanted to exercise a bit and she did not feel like spoiling her shrimp at the moment.

“Come on!” Kim whined.

“Wait.”

Kim sunk to the floor as if she was boneless and Shego knew what was coming before it even began. The redhead started rolling around on the floor while continuing to wail about wanting to rest her head in her owner’s lap. The actions eventually got on Shego’s nerves.

“Shut up!” Shego hollered.

“No,” Kim replied, hoping that she was making some progress.

“Why don’t you lay your head in Josh’s lap,” the green-skinned female suggested in a huff.

“Ew!” Kim shuddered in disgust on the floor. She could not believe that her master would even utter such a thing out loud.

“Ew?” A raven-colored eyebrow rose in confusion.

“Definitely, ew.”

“Why ew?” Shego inquired curiously. She thought that Josh was her elfish monster’s man, but it seemed that the assumption was not right on the money.

“Who knows where Josh has been. Besides, I’m not his pet. I’m your pet and I want to lay my head in your lap right now!” Kim whined while banging on the floor with her fists and feet.

“Stop acting like that,” the elder woman ordered. Whoever lived underneath her probably thought that she was insane when her pet pitched a tantrum.

“Can I lay my head in your lap?”

“Let me take a shower first,” Shego sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead.

“Yes!” Kim cheered. Being a crybaby definitely paid off sometimes, she believed.

Shego went to take a shower from her brief workout and then went out into the living room to resume their routine. Kim was waiting on the couch and as soon as Shego sat down, she cuddled up to her warm owner. The olive-eyed hero sighed contently once she was close to Shego. She inhaled, loving the way her master smelled after a shower.

“This is great,” the redhead mumbled. It was really relaxing just lounging on the sofa with her emerald-eyed mistress.

“Is it?” Shego asked in a skeptical tone. At the moment, she did not believe that her brat enjoyed being with her so much.

“Well, it could be better,” Kim replied and Shego knew what the girl was hinting to. The pale woman began to caress her pet’s head and Kim sighed again. “Now, it’s perfect,” the petite girl commented with a purr.

“Do you do this with everyone you’re with?” the green-skinned woman inquired with a bit of an attitude. She was not sure why she asked that question, but it was out now and she awaited her answer.

“No, just you. I mean, I’ve only ever been your pet,” the redhead answered. She guessed that her keeper thought that she had been a pet before. She had never even thought about such a thing before she met Shego. But then again, who did think about being a pet?

“So, no one else has ever made your purr?” Shego asked as if she was teasing, but like the question before it, she did not know where it came from.

“Only you,” the redhead replied with another purr. She knew that she would have been much too embarrassed to do such a thing in front of anyone else, but she had never thought to do such a thing. Only Shego could touch her and make her mew like a happy, pampered kitten.

“Interesting,” the raven-haired woman commented. She had never purred in her life and she never attempted to make someone do so, but knowing that she could make her pet do such a thing made her a bit proud. She quickly shut that emotion down, though, by pointing out that there was no reason to be proud that she could make her little monster happy. Any good pet owner made her pet happy.

“What, you thought I purred for everyone?” Kim asked.

“No.”

The redhead decided against saying anything. She knew that the older woman had to think that she mewed for more people than just herself because she had asked the question. She did not mind that and she was glad that the matter was cleared up. She stretched against her mistress, like a satisfied feline.

“I only do it for you,” the girl purred.

“Keep doing that and I’ll throw you on the floor,” the owner commented, referring to the movement her pet just made.

“Oh, sounds promising,” the hero smiled mischievously.

“Keep it up,” Shego said and she stopped her attention to Kim’s head, causing her brat to whimper in disappointment.

“I’ll be good!” Kim promised because she did not want the petting to stop.

“Okay then,” the elder woman said and she went back to gently scratching the girl’s head. “So, the painter kid another one of your goofy friends?”

“He’s different from my other nutty comrades,” Kim remarked.

“How so?”

“High school crush,” the redhead answered.

“What happened?” Shego asked curiously. It never occurred to her that her monster had a high school sweetheart or anything like that. She realized that she hardly thought that her twerp had a past or had a life outside of her and those missions that she ran around on. She really did not care about that stuff, but did not mind listening if her girl was willing to talk about it.

“Well, he crushed our relationship. When I first started school, college I mean, I wanted to stay close to home. You know, I was really young and it scared me to be far from home, my family, my goofy friends, and who I thought was the love of my life. So, I went to Middleton College and I was able to stay with them. But, they just didn’t offer the classes I wanted and needed. So, I transferred to a way better school and had to go away. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it was. It did get a little tough on our relationship since he was still in high school and still in Middleton. I mean, I was way out of state. I came into town one day, though for a surprise visit, trying to be the thoughtful girlfriend and everything. His mom let me in the house, I go down to the basement where his room is and I find him in bed with a girl I can’t stand,” Kim explained.

“Damn, that’s mighty low of him,” Shego commented.

“Yeah, but that’s how Josh is,” the girl said with a slight shrug. She was over resenting him for what he had done obviously; although it had taken her a long time to get over it and even though they were friends now, she still had not forgiven him for what he did.

“And you still hang out with the little bastard?”

“I accept Josh for what he is now. He’s not boyfriend material, but he’s intelligent, insightful, and funny company. He’s not somebody I’d want to see everyday, but when I do see him, we have fun for the most part.”

“You’re good. I dated one guy that cheated on me and it didn’t end pretty.”

“You kicked his butt, didn’t you?”

“Up and down the fucking street until a concerned citizen called the cops, who had to call for backup,” the pale woman answered.

“Well, this is life … or something like it. You live, you learn. I don’t mind learning, although I could’ve done without Josh’s lesson. At least I figured out that I didn’t love him like I thought I did. I mean, if I did love him, I would hate him for what he did. But, I don’t hate him. I don’t think we would’ve worked out, anyway. I mean, I can only stand Josh for a certain amount of hours before the guy he is starts to come out full force. I didn’t realize that back then because I wasn’t around him very often.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s quietly conceited and swears that he could have any woman he wants. Even now, he wants to be friends with privileges and thinks that if he smiles enough, I’ll hop into bed with him. Well, that ain’t happening. Besides, between you and me, he’s a rotten lay,” Kim remarked with a laugh.

“You slept with him?” Shego inquired. She knew that her pet was not as innocent as her smile would lead one to believe, but it had never entered her mind that the girl had lovers. She ordered herself not to be angry with that boy for touching her pet, even if it was before Kim was her pet.

“He was my first. I’ve really only got one other guy to measure him up against, though.”

“You’ve slept with two guys in your whole life?” Shego asked. Okay, maybe her pet was more talk than action.

“Yup. Why, how many have you slept with?” the eccentric hero inquired.

Emerald eyes narrowed briefly. “You’re asking too many questions again. Well, what about girls? You’re interested in girls, right?”

“Well, yeah. I thought that was ferociously obvious. I’ve been with just as many girls as guys. I’m not that comfortable with people really quickly, so I haven’t been with a bunch of people, you know. I’ve dated a lot of people, but never really committed. Nobody’s really willing to sit and wait around for me,” Kim said with a sort of forced giggle, trying to make light of the situation.

Shego caressed her pet’s head. “What do you mean?” Her voice seemed to soften.

“Eventually, everybody gets fed up with me having to run off for a mission or something like that. Sometimes, they hate how easily I get distracted. They all act like they can deal with it in the beginning, but no one can really deal with who I am. They all leave in a huff, some a lot quicker than others. Josh was the only one that didn’t leave in huff. He was really the only one that could stand me, the real and complete me, but I can only trust Josh to be Josh, which is just like not trusting him at all. It’s a vicious cycle, I guess. Every time I meet somebody, I already know how it’s going to end. They’ll eventually leave me because of at least one of about three or four reasons. That’s probably why I like both guys and girls. I figure with a wider net, I’m liable to meet somebody who can put up with all that comes with me,” Kim explained with a bit of sorrow in her voice.

Shego looked down at her little monster. She never really thought about how the runt’s hobbies might affect her social life. It had to already be hard for her to find someone to connect with since she was so different, but the things that made her different had to be factored in, too. The girl was a genius, from a family of geniuses, she was curious and adventurous, she was heroic and helpful, she saved people, and she saved the world. She could do anything and that had to get to people.

She did dangerous things for fun, not even for fun and profit, but just plain fun. She ran off at the spur-of-the-moment to do all sorts of dangerous things. Some people had to not want to get close to her just out of fear that they might not see her again one day. The redhead was totally unique and people had a hard time dealing with things like that, as the green-skinned woman was well aware of. Shego just never considered such things might actually bother her seemingly happy-go-lucky rascal.

The pale woman cradled her girl a bit more, hugging Kim to her. The redhead was not sure why she was getting the extra affection, but she was glad for it. She hid her face in Shego’s chest, just in case her eyes actually misted over from talking about a fairly touchy subject. The elder female did not say anything for a long while and when she finally found words, they shocked her and her pet.

“It won’t end like that with you and me. I don’t care how much you run off or how easily distracted you are. If you keep coming back, my door will always be open to you,” Shego vowed in a whisper and she kissed Kim’s cheek. A tear gathered in Kim’s eye, but she managed to keep it from falling. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kim makes an important scientific discovery and Shego is forced to interact with Josh. With luck, she won’t kill him.


	15. Dilemma Fifteen: Belly-walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Fifteen: Belly-walking

_I wonder how much Pumpkin really likes this artist kid. I mean, how mad would she be if I just broke his arm? It wouldn’t even be the one he paints with. Just for him to get the idea to stop being a prick._

Kim was lounging on a thick branch in a tree in one of her favorite places to be, a rainforest. She was a sucker for the jungle and it had been that way since she was little according to her parents, who pointed out that Kim liked to play in trees and in the mud when she was little. She did not remember that, but she learned it was less embarrassing to just let parents ramble than to second guess them and get them started into other things. It was always best to allow them to run their courses then to start them down some new, uncharted path.

The part-time hero was keeping an eye on a group of scientists searching the area for a particular plant species that supposedly had healing properties. To Kim, it was a waste of perfectly good scientists. She was not looking to knock their fields or anything like that, but she never quite got into plant life. She found things with skeletal and muscular systems much more fascinating. But, she understood that was her personal opinion and she never downed someone else’s field to the person’s face.

While the crew inspected the local flora, Kim thought about going home. She hoped that Shego would make some kind of pasta for dinner. Shego was on a serious pasta strike it seemed because she had been making anything that was not pasta for a long time now. She even pulled out a cookbook a few nights ago, searching for something that did not involve a noodle of some kind. In a little while, Kim figured that she was going to have to go to Josh’s house and bum some ramen noodles off of him. He had plenty to spare since it was the only thing that he ate aside from pizza.

The redhead fought off the urge to yawn. She did not even see why the scientists asked her to come along. They were just as comfortable in the jungle as she was. They did not need her around, it seemed. She was glad that she brought a book, but she finished that an hour ago. She had gotten her schoolwork out of the way, too. Mental note, she told herself, bring more books if she ever had to go into a rainforest to deal with the plant life.

And then something odd, but familiar caught her eye. She peered over into a bush that was a couple of yards from her and she continued to look on, growing more intrigued by the second. She silently dropped out of the tree to inspect her new interest more closely. She stalked her captivating prey like any stealth predator would, slowly approaching the alluring object.

“Miss Possible,” a scientist called when he noticed her creeping near a bush.

“Shh,” Kim hushed the man as she continued on her way.

The redhead craned an eyebrow; it was just as she suspected. She found a viper lurking in the bushes, but the interesting thing about it was that it was a serpent that she had never seen before. Kim did not claim to be some kind of snake expert, but she had seen plenty of them ever since she started her missions and got into biology. She was slowly becoming enamored with serpents, though. There was something about snakes that sparked the Possible curiosity inside of her and also her natural “kimness.” There was a challenge hidden in snakes.

Kim decided to catch the limbless creature that had her attention just because it was something to do. She also desired to know what kind of snake it was and then, after having a close look at it, she planned on releasing it back into the bushes. She captured her prey effortlessly. She had a lot of practice in handling reptiles of all types because reptiles were not as easily scared off as mammals and birds. She examined it, but she still could not figure out what kind of serpent it was.

Since Kim could not determine what kind of snake she had caught, she decided to show it to some local snake experts after she got out of the jungle. The plan there was to show them the snake, let them tell her what it was, what its identifying marks were, and then just take it back to where she found it. The plan turned out to be flawed because she had not counted on the experts not knowing what species she had. It turned out that they could not identify the snake in her keep either.

There was something wrong with her viper and that was that it did not appear to be a viper. Kim was told that she had caught an elapid, which was the family of snakes that cobras and coral snakes belonged to. She looked at the serpent in her hand. It did not look like any cobra, coral snake, or krait that she had ever seen. It did not look like an elapid that any of them had ever seen. When she released it into a container, the snake spread a very small hood, especially for a snake its size.

“It’s a cobra?” Kim wondered aloud with a scrunched up expression.

The hood on the snake was almost nonexistent in comparison to other snakes and it only kept the hood open for a couple of seconds. It also did not have any marks on the hood. Well, at least now they knew that it was a cobra, but the problem was that there were not supposed to be any types of cobras where she was. Why, very puzzling indeed, she thought.

Kim decided to get a permit in order to take the snake back home and show it to some other scientists that she knew, but when she found out how long it would take for such a permit, she decided against it. She figured that it would be best to leave the snake right where it was because there was no sense in her waiting six weeks to take a snake home that might just be an abused, escaped pet. She merely requested that the people she left the snake with contact her and tell her what kind of snake it was to satisfy her curiosity. They easily agreed to that because, hey, like the rest of the world, they owed her a favor or two and that was an easy one to fulfill. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego was sitting with her boss at their usual café up the street from the station. It was still a slow crime week, much to the younger woman’s annoyance. Doctor Director was looking through Josh’s vast portfolio. Apparently, she was serious about being a patron of the arts. Josh passed his time by glancing at Shego.

“What?” the raven-haired woman huffed after the young man looked at her about fifty times in as many seconds. She had been behaving herself because she did not feel like hearing crap from Betty, but if he kept trying her patience, then Betty might have to arrest her.

“Oh, nothing,” he replied, giving her an awkward smile.

“It’s something. What?” she demanded.

“Well, I was just thinking about how cool you must be,” he said with an adorable half-smile.

“Why do you say that?” she inquired with a frown on her face.

“You know, if Kim’s staying with you and everything, then I guess you’re really cool,” he explained, still wearing his half-smile, which was getting on her nerves.

“So the fuck what?” the emerald-eyed female countered. What was he getting at? And what was with his stupid smile? She just wanted to punch him in the mouth to at least wipe the idiotic expression off of his face.

“No, nothing. Never mind. I just think you’re really cool, that’s all. I hope you let her stay with you for a long time. She seems happy, so I really hope you let her stay with you,” the artist replied, holding his hands up as if surrendering.

“Do you?” Shego asked in a skeptical tone. She doubted that he really cared about her pet since he had cheated on her back when he had dated Kim. He betrayed her with a girl that she hated and now he was acting like he cared about her happiness. Shego was not buying it. He probably just acted that way hoping to one day bed Kim again, but her little monster was too naïve to see that.

“Yeah, you know, she’s my friend. Sometimes, I worry about her, especially when she’s out on her own. She’s got dangerous hobbies and I’m sure she won’t be as careless as she can be sometimes if she has a home and loving master to go back to,” Josh explained, still smiling that irksome smile of his.

“She told you about that?” Shego inquired, successfully hiding her shock. Did Kim go around advertising that she was a pet like it was a great thing to be? Her twerp needed some time on the couch or something, she thought. The girl was really too naïve for her own good. Well, it seemed that way to the pale woman anyway.

“Yeah, like I said we’re friends. For you to have caught her, you must be an incredible person.”

“Are you done kissing up yet? I don’t have any influence over Betty buying your shitty art,” Shego commented. She hoped that shut him up or the next thing that he said to her, her response was going to be to knee him in the groin and tell him to fuck off.

Josh was not sure how to respond to such a hostile remark, so he decided not talk to the green-skinned woman anymore. It was a very wise judgment call. He was not used to being treated so viciously by a female. He usually had great command over the fairer sex, but his charms did not seem to be working on Shego. He figured that it had to do with her more than likely being a lesbian. After all, she was keeping Kim as a pet. Even though Kim had told him that they were not like that and there was nothing sexual to the relationship, he was willing to bet that Shego was just trying to stay in the closet.

“I like this one. Can you do something similar to this one for me?” Betty asked Josh while showing him the painting that she was referring to in the portfolio.

“All right. I have creative control?” he countered.

“Yes, just make it something along these lines,” she answered.

She and Josh worked out the details to the deal and then the painter went on his way, much to Shego’s delight. Betty noted her friend’s rather satisfied expression while watching the boy disappear up the street. She shook her head.

“You don’t like him, do you?” Doctor Director asked the obvious question.

“No, I don’t,” Shego answered bluntly.

“Why? Because he’s boning your precious pet?” the one-eyed woman taunted her companion. Jealousy did not suit her younger comrade, she thought.

“He’s not boning her,” the super-powered female replied.

“No? And how do you know that?”

“She said they used to date, but they don’t anymore.”

“Why? He’s cute,” Betty commented with a smirk. She was enjoying just teasing her green-skinned employee.

“He cheated on her,” Shego informed her friend with a bit of anger in her voice, which did not go unnoticed.

“Maybe he thought that she was cheating on him with you,” Doctor Director countered dismissively, like she thought that she had Shego, the pale woman noted.

“It was before she met me.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll stop trying to defend him. I don’t even know the kid,” the chief conceded.

“Good.” Shego hoped that she never had to see that little smiling bastard again or she was going to slap him around a bit before warning him to stay away for her idiotic pet unless he wanted to be castrated with a butter knife. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego entered the apartment and was greeted a bit overzealously in her opinion. She was in the motion of shutting the door when her shrimp charged out of the living room and leaped onto the raven-haired woman. Shego fell against the door back because the surprise attack had thrown her off balance. She instinctively tucked an arm underneath Kim to support the redhead, even though she had her legs wrapped securely around her mistress’ waist. Kim grinned widely and Shego wondered what had her already hyper brat even more overexcited then usual.

“I discovered a new species of snake!” Kim declared and planted an overjoyed kiss right on Shego’s mouth. It was not a long or passionate kiss. It was clear that Kim was just overwhelmed with delight.

“Okay, don’t get carried away,” the older woman said.

“But, I discovered a new species!”

Shego smiled a bit before making sure the door was actually closed. She held onto her pet for the simple fact that the girl was not letting go of her and walked into the living room. She sat down the sofa and the redhead was very tempted to cuddle into her, but she was way too excited. She leaned back to look at Shego while remaining on the woman to tell her just what happened.

“Okay, so, I discovered a new species of snake,” Kim said for the third time.

“You’ve already said that,” the emerald-eyed woman pointed out.

“Oh, right. Okay, so, I was in this jungle, right? And there were these scientists looking for plants. I was sitting in a tree and just relaxing when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a snake and figured if it was, I should go have a look. I mean, I don’t want it to bite anybody since I’m supposed to be protecting them and it was something to do. So, I go look at this snake and think it looks really weird. I had never seen a snake like it and I’ve seen lots of snakes. So, I caught it and left it with these local scientists that I know for them to look at it. They just called me and said that it’s a highly likely that it’s a brand new species of cobra! You should’ve seen this thing! It was about ten feet long!” Kim explained in very charged and energetic voice. She could not believe it. She felt like she accomplished something great by discovering a new type of snake and it had not even been completely confirmed yet. She would have to wait a little while for a sure thing, but it still felt great.

“Well, congratulations,” Shego said for lack of anything better. What was she supposed to say to someone who had made a scientific discovery? She had never been the situation before.

“Thanks! Can we have spaghetti for dinner?” Kim requested with her elfish grin in full force.

The pale woman laughed a bit. On her lap, she had a girl who had saved the world who knew how many times without asking for a reward. She was elated with having discovered a new snake species and the only thing that she wanted for her achievement was a spaghetti dinner. It was too cute in Shego’s opinion, not that she would ever, even under torture, admit to thinking such a thing. She massaged the redhead’s back for a moment while trying to get over her amusement in regards to the whole thing.

“All right, for a great scientific discovery, we will have spaghetti for dinner,” Shego declared. The least that she could do for such an accomplished rascal was to make her beloved pasta for dinner.

“Really?” Kim asked, blinking in surprise. She really had not expected to get anything from her keeper. “Can I have a kiss, too, then?” Kim asked with a smile.

“Don’t push it,” the raven-haired female warned her pet.

“Come on, for a great scientific discovery. You like science, don’t you?”

“No, I’m not really a fan of science.”

“Come on, one kiss.”

“No.”

“Please!” Kim leaned into her master as if that would help.

“No, you already kissed me at the door,” Shego pointed out.

“I did?” Kim asked in a confused tone. She had been so keyed up that she barely knew what she was doing when Shego came in.

“You did.”

“Well, this is different. I want you to kiss me.”

“No.”

“Please,” the redhead purred into her mistress’ neck.

“No.”

“Please.”

“Okay, one kiss. But, no funny business,” Shego replied.

Kim smiled for a quick moment. She leaned back up to face her owner. Shego glanced down at her little monster. There was a sparkle in her olive green eyes and the older woman realized that her petite pet was a darling little creature. She bent down and Kim fought the urge to grin. Shego kissed her on the end of her nose. The redhead’s expression dropped.

“There’s your kiss,” Shego said.

Kim should have expected such stingy behavior from her mistress. After all, the woman hogged all of the covers in the bed. Fine, her keeper wanted to be her usual selfish self then Kim decided that she would be her usual naughty self. She launched herself at Shego and assaulted her master with her mouth. Shego made a surprised noise as her pet’s lips touched her own, but the kiss was over quickly. Kim was not looking to over-the-top or passionate, only annoying.

“That’s my kiss,” the hero declared.

“Bad girl,” Shego reprimanded her pet and then she thumped the little imp on the nose with her index finger. Yeah, her pet was definitely a mischievous little imp.

“Ow! Pet abuse!” the younger woman whined while covering her nose with both hands to protect it from anymore thrashing. Eventually, they got around to having spaghetti for dinner. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim was lying across Shego’s lap. Shego was massaging Kim’s shoulder, heating her hand with her powers slightly to be more effective. The girl had injured her shoulder somewhat while out on a mission. It was very sore, but there was no horrible bruising or anything to be alarmed about. She did wince every now and then when the rubdown got a little too rough.

“How’d you fall out of this tree again?” the green-skinned woman inquired.

“It was either fall out of the tree or get shot. I picked the tree,” Kim replied.

“You’ve got dangerous hobbies.”

“So do you.”

“Yes, but I pick up a check every couple of weeks for my worries. You just pick up cuts and bruises.”

“Yeah. Shego,” Kim said in a moment of seriousness.

“What?” the pale woman replied while trying to focus on the girl’s shoulder.

“What would you say if I told you I want to study venomous snakes as a career?” the redhead asked curiously.

“This is because you found that new snake?” Shego guessed.

“Well, yeah, but I’ve also thought a lot about it,” Kim answered.

Shego did not doubt the olive-eyed adventurer on that. She knew her pet was impulsive to a fault, but some things the redhead seemed to think very hard on, maybe even too hard. Now, she knew that her little monster had already spent over a year trying to figure out just what she should be getting a masters degree in. Obviously, her future was very important to her.

“So, how much is a lot?” Shego asked just to play with her brat.

“I want to be a herpetologist. It actually fits with my lifestyle since I travel so much. I can study reptiles and amphibians all over the world.”

“A herpetologist?” the green-skinned female echoed just because she had never heard of such a word before.

“Yeah, a person that studies reptiles and amphibians. Like I said, it fits with my lifestyle. I’d be able to do the save the world thing while being out in the field. I can pick up things to study in my travels. Out in the field, I can make my own hours. If it ever gets to the point where I have my lab, then I could make my own hours there,” Kim explained why she decided to do such a thing.

The redhead knew that she never had a soft spot for the animals that she just decided to study, but she did have a love for a great deal of their habitats. As she thought about it, she could learn to love reptiles and amphibians because she loved catching them. It was thrilling to chase down cold-blooded creatures.

“You want your own lab?” Shego inquired.

“Well, I think it would be nice. Just a little one. You see, I want to study the animals along with their venoms and poisons. They might have medical uses. Maybe I can develop a better form of anti-venom or a way to combat the poisons in some other way. I could break down the venom and poison to figure out how they could benefit mankind. Having my own lab would just be a way to cut out at any time if I need to, but other than that I’m sure I could get a job at a university or a zoo or something. I could start a reptile park or something if I ever got enough specimens. There are so many possibilities,” the redhead pointed out.

“You’d need money to do that.”

“Right,” Kim groaned.

“Do you like photography?” the officer seemed to ask out of the blue.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well, you do travel all over the world, ever thought of taking pictures and selling those off for some scratch?” Shego suggested.

“No. Wow, Shego you’re brilliant!” Kim grinned. She liked photography, but it never occurred to her to photograph anything that she ever did. She could make some money through photography.

“I know, but I try not to brag,” the pale woman remarked.

“So, what do you think of my being a herpetologist?”

“I don’t give a damn. It’s not like you don’t stupidly risk your life every day as it is. As long as you pick up a paycheck while doing it, you might as well do it. You’re the lunatic that likes snakes and shit.”

Kim nodded and smiled a bit. She had never really thought that she liked snakes until she had been told that she had found a new species. When she was told how good it was that she found that snake and what science could learn from it, she realized how important it was to study snakes and other reptiles. The cobra that she had discovered could be helped to identify if people had been bitten by the mysterious snake and mistakenly identified it as a known viper. It was important to know what kind of snake it was that bit a person to treat the toxins properly, so if people in the past had been bitten by the new snake, they would not have known the type and it would have been much more difficult to treat the venomous bite. A person was likely to die if the person was not sure what kind of snake struck the person. Beyond that, snake venom was being studied all around the world to develop new medicines and treatments for human ailments. So, it was important and helpful work, which was right up her alley.

The redhead then considered how much she truly liked searching for snakes and lizards. She liked searching for animals in general. She had to focus, though, and she could see herself focusing on herpetology. It would be fun, not just catching them, but studying them, too.

“Princess,” Shego said in a low voice.

“Yeah?” Kim replied.

“Just because careful with those snakes.”

“Don’t worry about it. If I get tagged, I call up Wade and I’ve got a ride in at least half a minute and at most five minutes. I’ll be able to get medical attention in time if something goes wrong,” the redhead assured her owner. It made her feel all warm inside that Shego actually verbally expressed concern for her. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim was sitting with her usual crew in Bueno Nacho. She had two bits of information for them, but first, they had to watch with disgust as Ron managed to push an entire naco in his mouth. The ladies had never seen anything so revolting.

“And you actually kiss this thing, huh?” Monique said to Yori. The ninja could not even manage a retort because she was too busy staring at her boyfriend in sheer horror and disbelief.

“Well, thanks to Ron’s display, my news won’t seem as random or completely insane. I’m going to be a herpetologist,” Kim announced.

“A herp-a-what?” Monique asked.

“A herpetologist. I’m going to study reptiles and amphibians,” Kim clarified her statement.

“Wait, you picked a career?” the chocolate-eyed girl asked incredulously. She thought that she had heard it all now.

“Bingo,” the redhead confirmed.

“Aw, our little Kimmie’s growing up,” Monique teased.

“Hey, wait, them whatchamacallits are on nature channels. They’ve got some dangerous jobs,” Ron pointed out after swallowing most of the food in his mouth.

“Ron, what do I do that’s not dangerous?” Kim countered.

“She’s got you there, naco-boy. Even going home is an adventure with her on some days,” Monique commented.

“The dangers of being a pet,” Yori added.

“Oh, no, you guys have got Yori digging on me,” the hero playfully groaned.

“Okay, you guys have got me there, but why reptiles, K.P? Why not naked mammals?” the blond boy suggested and Rufus took a bow.

“I think I’ve been studying those long enough,” the redhead replied.

“I think we all have,” the fashion diva concurred.

“So, Kim, what’s the other reason you called us here?” Ron asked curiously. He wondered how she could top having picked a career.

“Oh, here it comes right now,” Kim replied while motioning to the door. “Hey, Felix.” She waved a bit.

“Hey, everybody,” the brunette boy greeted the group with a smile. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Everybody welcomes Felix and they do a bit of hanging out. Shego learns that it’s not always fun to do her job and gains a new pest in her life. Could her life get anymore annoying?


	16. Dilemma Sixteen: Amusing, says who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Sixteen: Amusing, says who?

_I think my mistress worries about me too much. I appreciate the concern, especially from her, but sometimes she doesn’t want me to do anything at all, even though she knows what I’m capable of. Well, I guess this time around she did have a good excuse for not wanting me to do anything. After all, she was on the clock and I wasn’t, not that I’m ever on the clock._

The group looked on as Felix grinned at them. He wheeled himself up to the booth that the clique was sitting at. Each girl greeted him with a kiss on the cheek while Ron opted for a solid handshake. Everyone, except for Kim, wondered what he was doing around town since he was supposed to be in school in another country. Hell, he was supposed to be on another continent in another hemisphere.

“What are you doing around here, Felix?” Monique inquired.

“I graduated and I’m employed,” Felix answered with a proud smile. He seemed to sit a little taller in his chair.

“Employed? Where?” Ron asked curiously. They were not very surprised that Felix was the first one out of them to have a real job. It was not like his mother would allow him to goof around all of the time, especially since she had him interning since he was of a legal age to work.

“New Cosmos,” the light brown-haired boy replied.

“The theme park? No way!” the blond boy shouted in a very excited voice. Rufus squeaked and nodded before pretending to faint.

“Yes, the theme park. It officially opens next month, but they’re having a special opening for V.I.P types and the families of their employees—” Felix tried to explain, but his good friend had to stop him right there.

“You’re inviting us?” Ron inquired with hope in his voice. His eyes shined in a cartoony way that got laughs from everyone.

“Yes,” Felix said plainly. He was trying to hype it up and everything, but leave it to Ron to take all of the air out of it.

“Boo-yah!” Ron cheered and Rufus squeaked in agreement while slapping the blonde some skin.

“I was actually hoping that you guys would come and see my robots,” Felix explained why he wanted them to come, even though getting on some of the attractions at the park with the crew would be fun.

“I’m riding the world’s longest rollercoaster, the Shooting Star,” the blond declared. He turned his attention to Yori. “Sweetie, you and I are all over every coaster in that place! They’re all supposed to be the bomb diggety!” he grinned widely.

“Well, you two will see my robots, right?” Felix asked Monique and Kim since Ron seemed to have his heart set on not paying his blue-eyed friend any mind once he got them inside the park and it seemed that the blond was also set on not allowing Yori to pay Felix any mind either.

“Of course, we’ll see your robots,” Monique answered as if that was a given and to her it was. They were all friends and they all supported each other. Besides, seeing robots was a lot easier than ignoring a collar in her opinion.

“Felix, I thought you planned on making cybernetic body parts and things like that. How’d you get stuck working at a theme park making robots?” Kim asked curiously.

“They hired me thanks to a good word from my mom. She got me this job before the ink on my degree was even dry. She’s all ‘you have to crawl before you can walk’ and everything. So, before I can make a human body part that is mechanical, she thinks I need practice on making mechanical body parts for machines. This is a great job, though. I got to work with the great Doctor Joe Freeman,” the brown-haired boy replied.

“No way. How’d they get him to work there?” the redhead asked in disbelief. Felix had all the luck, she thought. He would argue that she had all the luck; it was the-grass-was-always-greener thing with them it seemed.

“They claimed that he couldn’t build them thinking robots to make their attractions unique. He had to prove them wrong. For such a brilliant man, you’d be surprised how easily reverse psychology works on him,” Felix remarked with a laugh.

“I have heard it’s ferociously easy to trick him,” Kim commented.

“Okay, hey, you two, mind letting everyone else back into the conversation?” Monique asked with a playful smile. They had not gotten out of control, but she was aware that if she did not step in, the pair would reach the point of no return and get into science for about an hour.

“Scientists,” Ron said as if he was scolding Kim and Felix.

“Hey, don’t hate on our mad science skills,” Felix replied, earning a couple of chuckles.

“Mad science? Honey, you really are asking for it,” Monique commented with a teasing expression in her cocoa eyes.

“Felix, I think you went overseas and lost your memory. You know you have to watch what you say around Monique,” Kim reminded the boy.

Felix only smiled. It was a sly expression that any fox would envy. “I’ll bet. I think I have forgotten a lot of things about Monique, but I would like to know more over dinner. Although I do remember that she’s into guys with pierced tongues and stuff,” he commented and he got everyone’s attention with the implications in that statement.

“Whoa, wait a minute, backup. You want to go out to dinner with me?” Monique inquired as if she did not believe it.

“Well, if you don’t have anything better to do and the tongue ring isn’t necessary,” he replied. He was still smiling, but the expression did appear much less cunning and predatory now.

“Uh-oh, Monique is blushing!” Kim noted and it was true. The usually comical, composed girl was indeed blushing a deep scarlet.

“Oh, she is,” Ron concurred, not only because it was the truth, but it was also a chance to get on Monique about something. He was not about to pass up such an opportunity because who knew when such a situation would present itself again.

“No, I’m not!” Monique objected. She actually could not recall the last time a guy wanted to take her out on a real date and she could not recollect the last time that she blushed over being asked out.

“She’ll go out with you,” Kim told Felix for her good friend, who was apparently speechless when it came to answering the offer. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this,” the blond boy commented because Monique was seriously at a loss for words.

“Cool, since I made the reservations and everything already,” Felix admitted with sheepish smile, which was Kim’s doing.

When Felix had gotten in contact with the redhead, she had suggested that they talk over dinner and he had made reservations at a restaurant like any gentleman would. When he called her again, she pretended to have something to do that night and then suggested that he should take someone he would rather be with anyway. He eventually got what she was hinting to and what she had done. She was crafty, but helpful; he would give her that. He was glad that she was on his side.

“Congratulations, Mo, you’ve a real date!” Ron teased.

“Shut up, naco-boy,” the chocolate-eyed girl replied for lack of a better thing to say.

Kim laughed a bit. She was happy that her good friend had a real date in who-knew-how-long. Monique’s romantic life typically involved her going out every few months, prowling the clubs for a muscular young man with a tongue stud that moved very well on the dance floor. She was generally just looking to unwind, but nothing more than that.

For a while, though, Monique had been chewing Kim’s ear off about possibly finding someone to be in a serious relationship with. The chocolate-eyed girl had not had much luck in finding someone to date regularly. It seemed that she and Kim just did not attract the type of fellows that could be counted on as regular boyfriends. They were not sure why that was, but that was how things seemed.

The redhead figured that Monique would give that a good shot with Felix. After all, the two got along very well as friends and Felix did have a crush on Monique since about the day that he met her. As he found out more about her, his crush developed into an attraction. Hey, a girl that liked wrestling, monster trucks, and extreme sports was his kind of woman, especially when she looked the way that Monique looked and she was also very intelligent. Every time he talked to Kim, he always managed to usher the conversation to the topic of Monique after they went on about science for about an hour. So, Kim thought that dinner should help them out pretty well.

Kim thought that Monique would like being with Felix because he was fun and intelligent. He liked to try new things, but he had some common sense. Monique was almost alone in the group when it came to common sense. They would say that Yori had common sense, but they looked at who she was hopelessly in love with and that ended that argument.

“So, Monique, pick you up at about seven?” Felix asked to give her a chance to back out if she wanted to.

“Sounds good. What should I wear?” she countered with a challenging smile on her face. Kim wondered what she had started now. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim, Ron, and Yori were waiting outside the gates of New Cosmos, the science-fiction theme park that Felix worked at. The blue-eyed boy was late and Monique was also missing in action. The trio gave each other glances that said more than a million words could in regards to Felix’s and Monique’s absence. After about ten minutes, they all noticed Felix down the street with Monique; the pair was approaching their friends.

“Woo! Go, Felix! Taming the shrew!” Ron cheered. Yori grabbed the blond by the ear and twisted it. “Ow! Babe, ow! Babe!” he complained with a grimace.

“Behave, Ron-kun,” the ninja reprimanded her boyfriend.

“Okay, okay, okay!” he agreed, hoping that she would release his ear, which she did. She did glare sternly at him to make sure that he stopped acting out.

“You two are looking mighty chummy,” Kim commented once Monique and Felix stood with the crew.

“Hey, we’re chums,” Monique said with a strange smile. She was gushy, Kim could tell. Well, that was a mission accomplish, the redhead thought. She could not wait to hear the details about everything.

“Yeah, your chum is touching your ass,” the hero pointed out rather casually because Felix was doing just that.

“Felix!” Monique slapped his hand away, even though she did not seem to mind until Kim said something about it.

“I can’t help it. It’s right there, staring me in the face, begging to be touched,” the blue-eyed boy explained with a teasing half-smile.

“Girl, Felix is a pervert,” Monique informed her friend. She could not even sound serious about it. There even seemed to be a twinkle in her rich brown eyes. If Kim did not know any better, she would think that her close friend was in love already and it had only been a little more than a week.

“Really?” Kim scoffed. “I would ask how your date went, but now I’m guessing.”

“Hey, don’t try to play me, girl. We didn’t do anything. We just went out a couple more times and plus, we went out before we came here,” the young African-American woman explained.

“Sure,” Kim said skeptically to taunt her friend. It was nice to be doing the teasing for once. She was a bit surprised that Ron did not join in, but he did value his ears and he was not about to give Yori an excuse to reprimand him again.

“Can we go in already? The rollercoaster is calling me!” Ron whined.

The group made their way into the park after Felix flashed his ID. They all immediately noticed the V.I.P types that the park was open to. There was the mayor of Go City and his son. They were both named Wallace if Kim was not mistaken, although the son went by “Wally.” There were businessmen and there were also celebrities, like the Oh Boyz and Britina. The clique did not think anything of the high-profile patrons; Ron just hoped that there were no long lines. Kim just wanted to see the robots.

“Oh, there it is!” Ron shouted and he grabbed Yori by the hand, tugging her toward the first ride that he wanted to get on. It was the world’s longest rollercoaster, called the Shooting Star. The others followed him because they were trying not to get separated, but then they stopped as Kim caught sight of someone that she did not expect to see.

“Shego,” Kim called to her mistress when saw her.

“Pumpkin?” Shego said as she turned around in the direction that the noise came from to pinpoint just where her munchkin was.

“Excuse me, guys,” Kim said to her friends as she trotted over to her owner and gave her a quick hug. She knew that her master did not like the public display, but she could not help herself.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” Shego greeted her pet and she rubbed the top of the girl’s head.

“What are you doing here?” Kim asked curiously.

“My whole division got stuck with guard duty today since so many bigwigs came to the opening of this stupid park. What about you? What the hell are you doing here?”

“My friend works here. He designed some robots for one of the rides. That’s him right over there,” Kim explained and she turned to point at Felix.

“You know a lot of boys,” the pale woman muttered with a slight frown.

“He’s going to show us his robots. He really wants to design cybernetic body parts to help amputee victims—”

Shego cut her brat off. “Princess, I don’t get a damn. I don’t want to know the kid’s life story.”

Kim grinned. “Sorry, it’s just that his ideas are so incredible.”

“All right, all right. Go and see your robots. Oh, and if anything happens here today, leave it to us,” the officer ordered.

“But—” Kim tried to argue.

“No, leave it to us. I mean it. I don’t want a repeat of what happened back at the villa. Just stay with your friends and leave it to us, understood?”

“Understood,” the hero pouted. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Who’s that woman?” Felix asked, referring to Shego.

“That’s just Shego,” Ron answered.

“Who’s she?” the brown-haired boy inquired.

“Kim’s mistress,” the three friends replied as if it was nothing, like that was the natural response.

“Her mistress?” Felix echoed in a bemused tone.

“Kim’s her pet. Didn’t you wonder about the collar?” the blond boy countered. He really could not help wondering if people actually just ignore the fact that Kim was walking around in a freaking collar. Did it not strike anyone normal as an odd thing for a young woman to be wearing a collar? If he were not so used to Kim being a pet, he would think it was bizarre and he was weird.

“Well, I did wonder a little bit. Come on, it is a collar and everything. I just didn’t think much of it. I mean, before that, the last time I saw Kim, she had on these crazy, costume cat ears. I just thought that she was getting weirder,” Felix explained.

“I don’t think she can get any weirder,” Monique commented.

Kim returned to her friends after specific instructions to not do anything if something happened. Shego explained that if something did happen and she or another officer stopped the problem, it was plausible that their division would see a budget increase. It seemed that the budget was a really big deal, so Kim promised not to do anything. She was not too sure if her master believed her or not.

“Kim, why didn’t you tell me that you were a pet?” Felix asked almost immediately.

“Because it is so not the drama,” she replied with a scoff.

“What’s it like? You’re like a sex slave or something?” he inquired with a laugh to show that he was not being very serious, but he was curious as to what she did as a pet.

“Nothing like that actually. There’s no sex involved,” she answered; much to her dismay, a mischievous voice in the back of her head added.

“No sex?” he echoed in disbelief. Like most people, he could not see the point in a human being a pet without any sex being involved.

“She’s a for real pet, like a dog or a cat,” Monique informed the young man in the wheel chair. There was still a piece of her, a very tiny piece, which acknowledged the overall bizarreness of casually discussing one of her best friends being a pet. She just ignored that piece of her because it made life less complicated to ignore it.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he joked.

“You have no idea,” Kim replied with a smile. Oh, the fun was everywhere with her delightful master. “So, what’s the deal with the robots?” she inquired; she really wanted to see his work.

“Follow me,” Felix said.

“What about the rollercoaster?” Ron whined rather loudly. He sounded as if he was ready to burst into tears over the ride, even though he knew that they would get there eventually. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Oh, these robots are so cute,” Monique gushed over the adorable little robots that Felix had created on an alien set for an in-the-dark attraction for the park.

“Well, I just built them. They had artists design them,” Felix admitted, even though he did like to see Monique complimenting and enjoying his work. He wished that he had designed them from the look on her face.

“Can we see them move? Or, do you have one that’s like halfway done or a broken one, so I can see the insides?” Kim requested.

“Kim, you really should get into robotics,” Felix commented. He was always amused when the hero got around things that interested her because she got a spark in her eyes and if the thing was extremely fascinating, she could become quite childlike. Those moments were rare, though, which was why they were so entertaining. Not only were they rare, but they were also particularly short-lived.

“Nah. I mean, have you seen my robots?” the redhead asked with a small, very amused smile on her face.

“I remember that you built that miniature version of you. It was really cool. I mean, it looked just like you and moved like you and everything. What happened to it?” he inquired.

“The tweebs strapped some rockets to it and it’s now a satellite,” she answered.

“Oh, that sucks big time,” he muttered. Leave it to her little brothers to ruin the chance of Kim dealing in robotics. She would have been good in the field, he was rather certain of that. It would have been great to team up with her for things, but then again, he knew that he could still team up with her on projects since she was brilliant.

“Big time,” the redhead agreed.

The redhead was fairly certain that her brothers had helped in her not wanting to be an engineer at all. Every time that she took time out of her life to build something, it never failed for her brothers to stick some rockets on it and try to get it to escape Earth’s gravity. She had learned to stop building things by the time she got to high school, but every now and then the urge just overtook her and she had to create some kind of device.

“So, what are you going to do now that you’re done with this?’ Kim inquired, speaking to Felix while looking around at the alien environment. It looked like a red desert, something like what Mars probably would look like if it had a few plants and other forms of life on it. It was quite the exceptional sight and she could see why he wanted to show it off.

“Well, they’re looking to keep me on for repairs and such on the robots, but I’m looking for something better to hopefully start on my cybernetic prosthetics project. Maybe a hospital or university would hire me. If I could get time to make a prototype, then maybe I can get a government grant,” Felix mused aloud.

“Sounds like a solid plan. I hope you get to work on that. It seems like a ferociously cool idea,” the hero commented.

“Question, did you guys notice that we lost Ron and Yori?” Monique pointed out as she looked around and realized that they were a couple of people light.

“Oh, shit,” Kim muttered as she scanned the area too; obviously, Shego was rubbing off on her language wise. Her words did earn her a glance from both of her friends for a moment because they were a little surprised by her strong language. They did not say anything about it, though.

“Ah, he probably just went to get on all of the roller coasters around the place. I wanted him to see this, though. I thought he’d like all of the aliens, especially the zombie ones,” Felix said while pointing his thumb in the direction of the zombie aliens.

“Well, let’s go get him,” Monique suggested. It was not like Ron had flown the coop completely.

Felix and Kim agreed with her. They all walked off and went back outside to go locate their missing companions. They looked around for a moment and when they were did not spot the couple, they strolled off in the direction of the rollercoaster that Ron had been going on about.

The trio went by a refreshment stand and they would not have thought anything of it, if only the man at the stand was not abusing the automated cashier. The tall, muscular young man was wearing a mustard-colored shirt that clung to his wide, well built frame. He was yelling at the android cashier while slapping the robot about the head for some reason. Felix was about to request that the ebony-haired young man stop mistreating the delicate machine, but the robot lashed out first.

A spark flew off of the robot’s head and then it reached out for the young man that was hitting it. The android grabbed the young man by the neck and held him off of the ground by the throat. The young man started screaming as loud as he could; he sounded like a frightened little girl with his high-pitch wailing. Kim was about to jump into action, but she remembered the promise that she made her master. She found out that it was a good thing that she did not act because Shego came over seconds after the shrieking began and she would have caught her pet disobeying orders if the redhead had done something.

The pale officer looked at what was happening and simply sliced through the robot’s arm with her plasma power. The young man fell to the ground hard while the robot seemed to shut down completely. Kim, Monique, and Felix approached the scene once everything was over and done. Other people came over to see what all the fuss was about.

“Junior, what happened?” an elderly man with a polished walking stick asked as he made his way over to the scene. He spoke with an accent and was dressed in a velvet jacket.

“Father!” the young man cried with the same accent as the old man as he climbed to his feet. He went over to the elderly gentleman. “That robot tried to kill me! I hate this place, Father! I want you to buy it and burn it!” he whined.

“Calm down, Junior. I already own half of this place,” the father replied.

“Then you might want to have your robots checked,” Shego commented while nodding toward the broken android.

“Actually the robot would’ve been fine if he hadn’t been smacking it in the head,” Felix pointed out.

“Junior, why would you hit the robot vendor?” the father asked.

“He wouldn’t give me my peanuts fast enough,” the young man, Junior, replied as if it was obvious.

“Forgive my son, he’s a bit impatient. I’ll replace the robot. I want to thank whoever saved him,” the elderly man said and the young trio of friends all pointed at Shego as if they were toddlers and telling on her. The man turned his attention to the special officer. “Thank you very much, Miss,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just doing my job,” Shego replied, looking to get away from the crowd now. She did not do what she did for thanks; she did it to break stuff and for the thrill. Mission accomplished on breaking something.

“Oh, you’re a part of security around here?” he asked.

“I’m a special officer,” she answered, curling her lip. She was a bit offended that he would think that she was normal security guard in a theme park. She would sooner melt her own head right off than work in so-called amusement park.

“Ah, I’ve heard about the special division of the Go City police. I didn’t know they employed such talented people. I’m Senor Senior Senior,” the elderly man introduced himself.

“Shego,” she replied briskly.

“Maybe you could follow my son around and keep him out of trouble.”

“I’m not a babysitter,” she answered. Did the man not hear her just say that she was a special officer? Namely that she was police officer and it was her job to stop criminals and things like that. Nowhere in her job description did it say that she was to follow around idiots.

“I could pay you,” he pointed out.

Shego sighed. He had just mentioned her only weakness, in her opinion anyway. Like Superman, she was weak for something green. Her weakness was cold, hard cash and she did not think that it was such a bad weakness. After all, without money, she would not be able to live her very comfortable lifestyle, especially since she had a spoiled pet to look after too. It was just that sometimes it seemed to lure her into some of her poorer decisions.

“How much?” the green-skinned woman asked Senor Senior Senior.

“Let’s talk,” he replied.

Shego walked off with both Seniors to discuss her following around the younger man, more than likely to make sure he did not hurt him, she considered. Kim, Monique, and Felix were left looking at the destroyed robot. Felix sighed while Kim picked up the disregarded arm. She inspected the limb.

“You guys have a robotic staff?” the redhead asked. The theme park had her attention if the staff was automated.

“For simple things like peanut vending and cotton candy and stuff like that. It’s things like this that make the park unique and they hope it will bring in some good business,” Felix explained.

“Spanking,” Kim practically sang because it was so fascinating. She hoped that she could make her way back to the park some day to get a better look at all of the robots around the place.

“This is mega cool,” Monique concurred.

“Yeah, let’s get back to finding Ron and Yori,” Felix suggested and the girls agreed with that. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim came into the apartment late that night. Shego was reading in a book on the sofa. The redhead thought that her owner would be sleeping by now. She crawled onto the couch and rested her head in her mistress’ lap. The raven-haired woman hardly changed her position as she moved one of her hands to her girl’s scalp and she began caressing the younger woman almost without thinking.

“You’re home late,” Shego noted.

“We went to play laser tag after going up and down that park,” Kim reported. From what she saw, that theme park was the very definition of cool because of all of the robotics that they had around the area.

“You played laser tag with a kid in a wheelchair?” the pale woman inquired because that did not seem fair to her and she would have thought that the friends were all about being fair with each other.

“Hell, he won,” the redhead replied. Felix was a great shot, which led to them teasing him about what he might do in his off-time. “So, what happened with your baby-sitting that guy?”

“Oh, don’t even ask. That Junior guy is more annoying than Drakken. He was such a baby. He even whined while asking me to dinner.”

“Did you go?”

“Did you not hear me say that the guy is more annoying than Drakken? I wouldn’t have lived through dinner with him or he wouldn’t have lived through dinner. I’m happy I won’t have to see that huge baby ever again,” Shego declared. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shego learns not to speak so soon because she has not seen the last of Junior. Things might get a little interesting when he starts showing more than a passing interest in her. It might make a few people upset and you won’t believe Doctor Director’s reaction to it.


	17. Dilemma Seventeen: Too sexy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Okay, there is a piece of this chapter when I say that Junior has a Spanish accent, but it doesn’t sound very Spanish to me. I just hear an accent when I watch the show, but my sister says it sounds Spanish, so now I’m working off the basis that the Seniors are Spanish, which I figured works since they go by “senor” instead of “mister,” unless of course “Senor” is really their first names and not a title, which is very possible too. Are you actually still reading this rant? If so, you should stop and read the chapter because this rant really has little to do with anything.

Dilemma Seventeen: Too sexy

_Okay, I will admit that I’m damn sexy. I know I am, but what is the deal with below average idiots taking a liking to me? My sexiness has not been working to my advantage as far as I can tell and right now, it’s really screwing me over._

Shego lounged at her desk at work. She would kill for an assignment, especially after the job that the whole department had a few days ago. She was trying to wipe away the memories of guarding a bunch of stiff-shirts and their brats at an amusement park. It was like they were being treated like cheap bodyguards. It was not even like they were given extra pay for that task, even though it had nothing to do with their division of the police department.

What made that day and assignment worse was that she had agreed to baby-sit some grown brat after he tried to murder a robot, which did not seem to want to die by the hands of a well-groomed gorilla. She also had to put up with watching her pet pine over that kid in the wheelchair. Although she had to admit that the almond-haired boy seemed much more interested in her pet’s fashion conscious friend and her ass. It was still irksome for some reason.

 _Well, at least that day’s behind me_ , Shego thought. She was thankful for that, but the day that she was in was not looking up. She did not have anything to do and she had not had anything to do for a while. _When did the people in Go City start becoming sane and slightly well adjusted?_ She had not had a good rumble around the city in ages, it seemed anyway. Of course, it could have just been that she was impatient and bored out of her mind. Where were all of the super whackos? The ninjas with a trillion weapons and deadly poisons? The crazy scientists and their escaped projects or their mad schemes to take over the city? The everybody-that-used-to-make-it-interesting-to-go-outside-at-night? Just where in the hell were they? She considered that they might have caught all of the people that made her job fun and worth getting out of bed in the morning.

The pale woman decided to past the time with wondering what she should make for dinner that night. Her pet would like some pasta of course, so she figured that maybe she could make some ziti. She could suffer through some very cheesy ziti. It sounded very doable in her mind and then she was distracted by a horrible noise; well, in her opinion it was a horrible noise. It was that Spanish accent that she was trying to erase from her memory completely.

“Hey, there, beautiful,” Junior said as he approached Shego’s desk. Oh, how she desired to run for it, but it was too late since he had already zeroed in on her.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded.

“I came here to see you,” he replied, his eyes sparkling like deep, water-like sapphires. He had a charming smile on his handsome, tanned visage, which she bet he used to pick up plenty of air-headed girls. Well, she would not be one of those girls.

“Well, you saw me. Bye now,” she remarked, waving him away.

Junior laughed lightly, as if she had just told him a joke that she missed. “No, no, no. You misunderstand me,” he assured her.

The green-hued woman doubted that she misunderstood him. Maybe he did not understand, she considered. There was a chance that English was not his first language or that he just was not very smart, probably both. She could work passed the former reason if that was the case because pain overrode every language barrier there was. The latter part, though, she found that there was no cure for stupidity unfortunately. She hoped that she did not have to deal with him for much longer because he was getting on her nerves just by being alive and breathing her air.

“You see, I have come here to see you and shower you with gifts,” Junior declared he produced a huge bouquet from behind his massive back.

Shego frowned as the young man littered her desk with the dying floral arrangement. _The nerve of this muscle-brained bastard to clutter my space_ , she thought heatedly with a huff. He continued to smile, obviously believing that he had done something extraordinary, maybe even worthy of praise. The officer wondered what she had done in life that was so wrong that every five minutes of her life had to be filled with idiocy.

“Aren’t they just lovely? I know you just love them,” Junior commented while looking at the stunning bouquet that he had brought.

“Love isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe how I feel about anything right now,” Shego remarked, her frown remaining in tact. Love would probably be the last word that she would use for her feelings toward anything that was happening right now.

“So, what’s say you have dinner with me? We can be two very beautiful people out on the town,” he proposed confidently.

The green-skinned female got the feeling that Junior was not a guy used to being denied or accustomed to hearing the word “no.” If he stuck around her any longer, though, he was going to hear that and a lot of other words he probably was not accustomed to. Many of them would be described as “colorful” and “vulgar” and she would not stop until he ran off, preferably crying, and knew to leave her alone.

“How about you take yourself out right now,” she suggested.

“Ah, you are playing the hard to get card,” he said, still smiling.

“No, I’m not playing,” she assured him, but he did not seem to be buying that. He seemed to think too highly of himself to take her brush off seriously.

“Come on, pretty lady. I can buy you many fabulous things,” he proclaimed.

“If I wanted a pimp, I’d go work on the corner somewhere. What’s it going to take for you to get the hint? Am I going to have to beat you over the head with a club? Because if that is the case, I’ll yank the leg right off of my chair and get to work,” she commented while pointing her thumb down to the seat that she was in. She figured beating him in the head with her chair leg would at least alleviate her boredom by giving her something enjoyable to do.

Junior only laughed at the remark, letting her know that she had just made the acquaintance yet another glaring moron. She was starting to believe that she was a magnet for all of the world’s dolts, idiots, and all round stupid people. It would explain a lot, she figured. She was about to get rid of him by just blatantly telling him to fuck off, but Betty came over with Senor Senior Senior.

“Ah, Shego, I see you’ve already met Senor Senior Junior,” Doctor Director said.

“Unfortunately,” her employee muttered.

“You are the officer that saved my son’s life the other day,” Senor Senior noted. Had Shego known that she was going to be punished with his presence for her actions, well to be perfectly honest, she would have merrily allowed that robot to wring his thick neck. She doubted that she should say that out loud with her boss standing right there, though.

“Yes, this is Sergeant Shego. She’s one of our top agents,” Doctor Director informed the elder Senior. Shego recognized a sells pitch when she heard one, especially since she had been upgraded from an “officer” to an “agent” and her rank had been brought up. She knew that she had to be somewhat nice to Junior now, so the day was just shot to hell.

“Oh, that is good to hear,” the elderly man commented.

“So, let me finish showing you around,” the one-eyed woman said to Senor Senior.

“Please,” he repeated and they walked off, and much to Shego’s dismay, they did not take Junior with them.

The muscular young man continued to smile at the pale woman. She just wanted to bang her head against the desk to save herself that the agony. Why was she made to suffer, she silently lamented. _Why!_  

-8-8-8-8-

Drakken stepped off of the elevator and his eyes immediately fell upon Shego. He noticed the flowers on her desk like a colorful arrangement of daggers in his onyx eye. He then took notice of the young man that was smiling down at her with his perfect teeth that seemed to glimmer in the light like polished ivory.

A new emotion washed over the sky-colored scientist and he did not know what it was. He just knew that it involved anger toward the tan male trying to make moves on his girlfriend. Drakken marched over to the pair.

“Shego, what’s going on?” the blue inventor demanded with fury in his voice. His ebony rimmed eyes danced with hostility as he glared at her and then at Junior.

“Who is this?” Junior inquired as if the new male’s presence annoyed him and if that was the case, he and Shego had something in common after all.

“I’m her boyfriend,” Drakken declared, holding his head high.

“You look old enough to be her father,” Junior noted in a somewhat dismissive manner. He did not seem to believe that the inventor was his savior’s significant other and that much was clear from the expression of sheer disbelief on his face.

“It doesn’t matter what I look like. She’s my girlfriend,” the scientist stated.

“But, you are so … blue. You don’t even have a tan,” the young man pointed out. He could not understand how a man so old without a decent tan could possibly have such a beautiful creature as a girlfriend. He was not alone in that misunderstanding.

“So what?” the cerulean man huffed.

Shego could not help wondering where the rich boy was going with his logic. What did a tan have to do with anything? Junior would get around to explaining how his mind worked and why a tan was important.

“If you don’t have a tan, you cannot hope to compete with me. I mean, look at you. You’re short, blue, with very bad hair, and you have a horrendous scar under your eye. I bet your beach house is puny, too,” Junior argued.

“My beach house?” the inventor echoed in a bemused tone. It seemed like Junior was all over the place with the argument.

“So, you can’t be her boyfriend. She needs a better man than you in her life,” the muscular young man proclaimed.

“He’s got a point there,” Shego muttered in agreement. She noticed Doctor Director returning to her office, so she decided to make her escape. “You clowns have fun with each other,” the green-skinned female suggested while getting up and walking away from the insane scene.

“Shego!” Drakken bellowed.

The pale woman did not respond in any manner. She did not even turn her head around to look at him. She continued on her way until she through the chief’s door and safely in her office. Betty cast a glance at her employee while Shego busied herself by locking the door behind her.

“Mind sharing with me why the hell you’re locking us in?” Betty inquired curiously. She was used to her friend being weird, but at the moment, she was going above and beyond her usual strangeness.

“Is there a ‘hump me’ sign on my back?” Shego asked quite serious.

“I hope that’s not an invitation,” the boss remarked. “I also hope that’s not the answer to my question.”

“Ha, ha,” the younger female said dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Drakken and Junior.”

“I see. I hope they don’t try to whip them out and see whose is bigger. We do still have a bit of decency around the office,” Doctor Director commented.

“Do we? I haven’t noticed. Anyway, what the fuck are the Seniors doing here, beyond getting on my nerves anyway?” Shego demanded. She thought that she had been rid of them after that day at the park, but no, now she had to deal with them at work too. Life was cruel.

The boss grinned. “Oh, this is thanks to you. Because you saved his son, Senor Senior wishes to donate some money to our rundown little budget. How wonderful is that? We could actually put water in the water cooler.”

“Damn, when was the last time we had water in that thing?” the pale woman inquired. The water cooler in the department was like a piece of decoration and it was being used only to cover a hole in the wall.

“A long time ago. It might have been before you even joined up. Think about it. We could buy all new stuff, new equipment.”

“Is this is all right? I mean, can we even do this?” Shego asked. “I didn’t know we’re able to accept money from a private fund. I mean, we’re city employees and part of the city’s police department.”

“It’s not like he’ll be signing our checks or anything like that. It’s a just donation to our needy organization. Let’s face it, we need new shit and we need money to buy it. Money that we don’t have and money the city isn’t going to collect. We can’t even put new recruits out into the street because they’re not properly equipped to deal with anything that we’re supposed to handle. He’s going to get us top of the line products. What we’re going to do is have a meeting with the mayor and the police commissioner to make sure everything is legit and good to go. Wait,” Betty just had a realization. “Junior likes you?”

Shego noticed the look in her friend’s eye, like a light bulb had gone off in the older woman’s head. She could guess the bad idea that was running through her boss’ mind. There was just no way. 

“No, no, no. No! Seriously, stop thinking that!” the pale woman commanded her scheming chief.

“Come on, Shego. Take one for the team,” Doctor Director implored.

“Fuck the team,” Shego replied bluntly. “I don’t see them diving in front of bullets for me. Nobody around here has ever jumped on a grenade for me.” She was far from a team player, but she certainly would not do what her boss was thinking even if she were a team player.

“Come on, think of the water.”

“Screw the water.”

“Think of the coffee,” Betty commented. “We would actually be able to have coffee everyday and not just in the brief times that the public found us useful.” She could not recall the last time that they had coffee everyday for more than a week.

“Screw the coffee.”

“Think of the ultimatum.”

“Play along with this or get suspended?” Shego guessed.

“Exactly,” Betty smirked. She knew that her friend never wanted to be suspended again. She was not sure what the younger woman had found out about herself that one time that she was suspended, but she seemed hell bent on it never happening again.

“You’re abusing your power,” the emerald-eyed female pointed out.

“You forced my hand,” the brown-haired woman argued in a nonchalant tone. Like she cared about abusing her power when it came to Shego anyway, her mind pointed out and Shego knew that.

“Have you spoken to Junior before?” the pale female inquired because she did not think that her boss understood what she was asking.

“No.”

“Exactly. Don’t make me do this. If you were ever truly my friend, you won’t ask me to do this,” the officer implored Betty.

“You don’t have to sleep with the guy, although as a friend, you might need it—”

“You’re pushing it,” the super-powered woman growled. Sometimes, she wanted to ask her supervisor when was the last time that she got laid, but no matter what the answer was, Shego was fairly certain that she did not want to know.

“Just a bit of friendly advice, nothing more. Look, just go have dinner with him or go dancing or something. Stroke his ego a bit and help make him feel a bit better about giving us money,” Betty proposed.

“Can you just shoot me in the head before hand?” Shego requested. _Maybe you should take the suspension_ , a part of her suggested. A week at home could not possibly be as bad as a night on the town with Junior. She would have her pet this time around, so maybe a suspension would not be so bad.

“No. Just be nice to the kid. I know you can do. I think I’ve seen you do it once or twice. Butter him up. In a few days, he and his father won’t even be in town anymore. So, you won’t have to even think about him ever again,” the boss pointed out.

“I want compensation for this shit,” Shego declared.

“What do you want?” Betty asked because she was making her employee doing something not in her job description and she figured that unless she wanted an extra-cranky Shego, it would be best to give into some of her demands.

“More vacation days.”

“That’s all?”

“Hell, no, because I want a whole lot more. I also want some slack if I come in late and I want my desk moved to the corner, away from people.”

“Done, as long as you don’t offend the kid and cost us everything.”

“Nice being fucked in the ass by you,” Shego remarked.

“It was a pleasure,” Betty replied.

“But, I’m not going back out there yet,” the green-hued woman informed her supervisor. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego exited her boss’ office and looked around. She did not see Drakken. She suspected that he actually had to go do a job for once. Junior saw her before she saw him, which was why he saw her. She barely made it two feet from the door before he was blocking her path and smiling down at her with his confident expression.

“I was looking for you, beautiful. So, how about dinner?” he asked.

Shego would prefer to bite off her own tongue and bleed to death than answer, but instead, she replied. “I’d love to,” she stated through gritted teeth. If there was a Hell, she was going to it for that huge lie, she thought.

“That is great. I know a quaint little place.”

The “quaint little place” turned out to be one of the most elegant and expensive restaurants in Go City and there Shego was in her street clothes. She decided to not care since Junior was still in his mustard-colored muscle shirt and tight black pants. They were seated immediately after the sapphire-eyed young man just mentioned his name to the host. She ordered herself not to be impressed with his wealth, power, and influence. He was still a spoiled brat, she reminded herself.

Junior spent the whole dinner making Shego ponder if she should just slash her wrists with the butter knife. He went on and on about his private beach house, his wardrobe, his hair, and whatever else money could buy. He talked about how handsome he was and she would have agreed with him if he had not continued on forever and a day about it. Still, it was oddly better than having dinner with Drakken; probably because she had more than seafood to choose from on the menu.

Okay, maybe it was a bit more than the food. Junior had more to talk about and even though he ranted like Drakken did, he varied his subjects. He also complimented her, even though he did not let her get a word in. Drakken hardly ever complimented her.

“I know a great club or two that we could go to now,” Junior told Shego once they finished with dinner.

“Thanks, but no,” she replied in an almost snippy tone and then she remembered that she could not offend him. She really did not wish to spend any more time with him, though. So, she added, “I need to get home and feed my dog.”

“Oh, you have a dog? I love dogs. I’d like to see yours,” he informed her.

Shego sighed; why could she not be rid of the superficial bimbo? Yes, she believed that a man could be a bimbo, too. Junior was a classic case in her opinion.

“Maybe some other time. He’s been sick,” the pale woman said to avoid having to bring Junior to her house where he would not only see that she had lied about the dog, but he might even get it into his head that she was going to bed him. No, that was not in the cards.

“Oh, that’s sad. Sometime soon then I can see your dog? We have till the end of the week,” he pointed out.

“Sure, if he gets better.”

“Great,” Junior smiled. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego entered her apartment and resisted the urge to bang her head against the wall until she was unconscious. Instead, she breathed a sigh of relief that she was safe in the house and away from the morons of the world. She could not believe the day that she just had.

She waited for a moment, wondering why she had not been ambushed by her busybody elf. She went into the living room and found the typical answer as to why she had not been hugged. Kim was knocked out on the sofa.

“Hey,” Shego said and she shook her unconscious pet until she stirred.

“Huh?” Kim yawned, looking rather cute, her mistress noted.

“You’re on the couch and you’re still in your street clothes while being knocked cold. Go take a shower and go to bed,” the pale woman ordered.

“Was waiting for you,” the redhead explained in a sleepy voice as she struggled to open her eyes. She was losing the struggle. She was growing more adorable by the second to her owner.

“I’ll bet. Come on, it’s close to bedtime anyway,” Shego said while trying to ignore the thoughts in her head commenting on her endearing her impish monster was. They usually went to bed around eleven or midnight. It was close to eleven, so she could see why the girl might be tired, especially if the redhead had to do a mission or something that day.

“Is it?” Kim asked in a confused tone.

“Yeah. Did you eat dinner?”

“Yeah, there was some chicken in the fridge,” the redhead answered while rubbing her eye with her palm. She was not making it easy for Shego to stop thinking about how cute she was.

“Good. Now, go take a shower.”

“Uh-huh.” Kim climbed off of the sofa and staggered off toward the bathroom to do as she was told.

“Looks like she had a day just as hard as mine. Hopefully that’s the end of that, though,” Shego said to the air.

But, the universe, being in a very funny mood, would not let that be the end of things, much to Shego’s chagrin. The next day, she went to work and her desk was covered in flowers, teddy bears, and candy. She growled in annoyance. _Damn it to Hell and back_ , she would never again save a spoiled, rich brat with nice eyes and a great body, she silently vowed.

“Oh, this is a lot of stuff from Drakken,” DNAmy commented as she walked by Shego’s desk, which had yet to be moved into the corner as she requested because Betty had stated that the deal went into effect after she was certain that Shego had not insulted the young man in someway.

“It’s not from him,” the officer grumbled as she read one of the many cards on one of the five teddy bears. She would take the toys and candy because she was certain that her pet would like them, but the flowers were going to be ashes within the hour.

“Oh, from Junior?” the round woman noted as she read one of the cards on the flowers. Obviously, the thought of privacy was just that, a thought and not real because the pale woman did not recall giving DNAmy permission to read any of her cards.

“This is a problem in the making,” Shego bet.

It seemed like Junior was not going to go away until he had to do so. The emerald-eyed woman figured that she had better clear everything before Drakken saw and started making noise about everything. She did not want to have to deal with him. He seemed to be jealous of Junior, which was somewhat amusing. She did not know he even had it in him. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

“Hey, there, pretty lady,” Junior greeted Shego as he came by her desk, as he had every single day that week.

She was glad that a couple of times that he had come by, she had been out on assignments. He had gotten into it with Drakken once when she was not there. She was willing to bet that was a confusing, but entertaining sight. She was not sorry that she missed it. She was sorry that they had not killed each other or at least seriously maimed each other. But then again, it would be rather difficult to hurt someone when having a fight between two men both doing the windmill move that was typically employed by girls that were ten-years-old or younger.

“Hey, Junior,” she replied, trying her best to sound civil and not sick to death of him. Oh, but she was sick of him. She would not be sad to hear that he was hit by a bus the second that he left the office. She knew that was harsh, but he was so annoying.

“I’m probably leaving tonight and you did promise me a chance to see your dog. Later this evening?” he proposed with a smile.

“Uh … sure,” Shego agreed hesitantly. Where the fuck was she going to get a dog from? 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Yeah, you probably know where she’s going to get the dog from, but do you know what will happen with Junior in her house? What will Kim think of him? And what if Drakken comes by? It should make for an interesting evening.


	18. Dilemma Eighteen: Dinner for Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Eighteen: Dinner for Five

_My mistress makes life interesting and that’s a big thing for a person like me to say. It’s always a new surprise with her, but most of the time, I don’t think she knows how to handle it. Well, I’m here to help when things get like that. I don’t think she realizes that either sometimes, though. I can’t let her do these things on her own, even if she swears that she knows what she’s doing._

Shego got off of work and had an hour to find a dog that she could play off as her own. That was easy once she remembered that her boss had a dog, a dog that she was familiar enough with to pretend that it was her own canine. She went to Betty’s house and snatched up Leonardo for her charade and she was a bit surprised by how big he had gotten. But, she recalled that he was a dog and they tended to grow rapidly in short periods of time. She dragged him into the apartment and hoped that something kept her pet out later than usual because things were going to be awkward enough with her pretending that Leonardo was her dog and Junior was going to be in her home. She really did not need her monster around making things even stranger.

There was also the fact that the green-skinned woman did not want to chance Junior hitting on her pet. He seemed like the type of guy that hit on anything with curves and from the way her imp was naïve about certain things, she doubted that Kim would notice that he was trying to flirt with her. So, it would certainly be best if her elf were not at the apartment.

Shego’s wish was not granted. Her pet was home when she arrived. _Why is it that she never does what I want her to do_? Shego shook her head because she doubted that would ever had the answer to that question. Kim greeted her mistress with a hug as usual and then she cheered with delight the moment that she saw Leonardo. She hugged the canine around the neck. 

“Who’s a big boy?” the redhead asked in a baby-talk kind of voice while rubbing noses with the beast. Leonardo licked Kim right in the face and she only laughed about it.

“Could you not do that?” Shego requested. It was one thing to have to put up with the mutt and the nut that was going to show up, but to have to put up with her little imp loving the drool monster in their company was a bit too much. She definitely did not want to have to put up with watching the canine lick her pet in the face.

“Fine,” the slender hero sighed as if she were greatly pained. “So, what’s he doing here?” she inquired in a curious tone while scratching his ears. She had been under the impression that he was not welcome in the house as far as her owner was concerned.

“I’m pretending that he’s my dog for a guy that likes me because I can’t offend him or his dad might not donate big bucks to our poor as fuck division of law enforcement,” the pale woman summed up her plight as simply as possible.

“So, you’re stringing the guy along for the money?” the redhead asked to make sure that she had all straight.

“Pretty much,” Shego confirmed.

“Doesn’t seem like you.”

“I got forced into it. It was this or a suspension,” the super-powered female replied. That suspension was looking mighty tempting after a week of constantly seeing that smiling moron and having to hear his voice. Ah, she was not sure how she had not gone completely insane yet. _You should have taken the suspension when you had the chance_ , a voice screamed in her mind.

Kim nodded to show that she understood. “So, is he cute?”

“Yeah, and obnoxious, self-centered, and a big baby,” Shego elaborated.

“Sounds like Drakken,” the girl commented. Aside from the cute part anyway, her mind added. She doubted that anyone on the planet thought of Drakken as cute, including her mistress.

“Every guy I meet in summary sounds like Drakken. I’m starting to think a gypsy cursed me when I wasn’t looking. Look, do you think you could take a walk or something?” the older woman requested.

“But, I want to stay!” Kim whined. She thought that a show was about to go on and she wanted to be a player or at least a member of the audience. “I might even be able to help if you let me stay. I could be of some assistance if you just give me a chance.”

“No.”

“But, I wanna stay!”

Emerald eyes rolled and a sigh escaped Shego. “Yeah, but he’s coming over—”

“So, we’ll tell him that I’m your cousin, like we did with Drakken,” the redhead reasoned. It was a very plausible lie.

“Not so simple. For the whole week, I’ve been running out on the guy, using the excuse that I need to feed my dog. He sees you here and he’ll just wonder why didn’t I get you to feed the stupid mutt,” Shego countered.

“Wow, he can think like that? Maybe you should date him,” the younger woman suggested. She doubted that Drakken would ever break down a real world situation so logically. How a genius could be so stupid would always be beyond Kim’s comprehension.

“No, he’s not that smart, but he still might wonder. I can’t take that chance So, you have to go.”

“But, I want to stay with you and Leo. What if I stay in the loft? I won’t come out. Promise,” Kim vowed with an impish grin, making it extremely difficult to believe her pledge.

“No, you have to get out.”

“But, Shego!” Kim wailed to her mistress. 

“No, and go put on a jacket. It’s a little chilly out there because of the rain this morning,” the raven-haired female commanded.

“I know, I’ve been out there,” the redhead grumbled with a pout. Oh, throwing a tantrum was so tempting at the moment, but she would never use such a power when it came to something that might seriously affect her mistress. Everything that was going on was for business and not pleasure. Tantrums were for pleasure.

“Stop mumbling, put on the jacket, and get out,” Shego ordered.

The petite redhead muttered under her breath about not liking being forced to leave as she marched to the hall closet to grab a jacket. Leonardo followed Kim to the closet, nudging her just because he wanted her attention. There was a knock at the door and Shego checked her watch. _That can’t be Junior already_ , she thought. She opened the door and, yup, it was him. Shego considered that she might actually be cursed.

“Hey, there, pretty lady,” Junior greeted her and he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Shego was too stunned with him taking such a liberty to even think to pull away.

“Junior, you’re early,” she pointed out. _Really early_. It was like no one had any courtesy anymore. She would like to think that people were raised better than that since she had been raised to be polite. She just chose to ignore that lesson most of the time.

“Yes, I couldn’t wait to be with you. I figured you probably couldn’t wait to be with me. So, here I am. Where is the dog?” he asked.

“Right over there,” Shego sighed while motioning to Kim and Leonardo. She could not help wondering where he got his logic from because she certainly could have waited to be with him. She could have happily waited years, decades, even centuries.

“Oh, hello, Miss. I’m Senor Senior Junior,” the ocean-eyed male introduced himself while going over and kissing Kim’s hand. The girl glanced at her master for just a second, who was rolling her emerald eyes.

“I’m Kim Possible, Shego’s cousin,” Kim replied.

“Oh, she never mentioned having such a pretty cousin. I guess it must just run in your family. Do you live around here?” he asked the redhead.

“No, I don’t. Far from here, actually. No, I just got into town. I came to Shego’s house for a free meal,” Kim lied smoothly.

“Oh, the lady cooks?” Junior asked while turning to smile at the lady of the house, who desired nothing more than punch him in the mouth. She was so sick of him smiling at her. What the hell was he so happy about? Ignorance really was bliss, she guessed from the look on his face.

“She cooks wonderfully. She was just about to make a big spaghetti dinner,” Kim informed the guest.

The pale woman frowned and her gaze narrowed as she focused on her pet. She was going to utterly destroy her little monster when they were alone for using Junior to get a pasta meal out of her. She had already made pasta once that week for her pet and she never treated the girl to pasta twice in the same week, sometimes not even in the same month. She stalked off into the kitchen to go prepare the now expected meal. She glanced at the pair that she was leaving in the living room while she had the chance. That smiling moron better not touch her pet or he was going to regret it in the worst way, she thought as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Kim and Junior got to know each other while interacting with Leonardo. The dog favored Kim’s attention over Junior’s, but she assured him that it was not something personal. She just had a way with animals. In all truth, the canine did not seem to like Junior very much. In fact, when the ebony-haired young man went to touch Leonardo, the canine went and hid behind Kim.

“He’s just shy. He was like that with me, too,” Kim lied to soothe any hurt feelings Junior might have. _See, I can be helpful!_  

Junior nodded. “He does seem very shy.”

The redhead took a moment or so to study Junior while she had the chance. He was a step up from Drakken, she would give him that much. But, then again, it did not take much to be better than the cerulean inventor. She was not too sure if she should worry about him so far because her mistress did not seem to like him much, but Shego was a strange person. Just because she did not seem to like someone did not mean anything. After all, she did not seem to like Drakken much, yet she was dating him and had been for a long time. So, Kim figured that she would see how the night went before seeing if a third person had entered the contest.

Kim looked at the young man. He was cute. He was close to adorable with those blue eyes of his and he almost had dimples when he smiled. Like she already thought, he was definitely a step up from Drakken. If he did decide to be competition, she might find herself slightly challenged. Now, her natural “kimness” did love a challenge, as did the Possible inside of her, but not when it came to Shego. She would work hard for her mistress, but she did not want Shego to be distracted by a pretty face and charming smile.

“This is a very nice place that your cousin has here,” Junior commented as he looked around the apartment. It was a large space and had just about everything that a person could need. It was very up-to-date and comfortable. He threw off the hero’s thoughts off with his words.

“Yeah, it’s totally spanking,” Kim concurred.

“So, are you close to your cousin?”

“Yeah, we’re kind of tight,” the olive-eyed girl confirmed with a nod.

“Do you know about her boyfriend?” he asked curiously. It sounded as if he was looking for dirt on Drakken, but Kim did not see the point in offering anymore than the answer to his question.

“Yeah.” She wished that she did not know anything about the man, but she knew about him. She knew more about him than she needed to know, she was sure of that.

“Has she been with him for a long time?”

“Yeah,” she replied. Too long in Kim’s very biased opinion.

“Does she like him a lot?”

“Probably,” Kim grudgingly admitted. Something had to keep her adored mistress with that overly annoying twit and she figured that Shego had to like the man somewhat, even though he brought her misery more often than not.

“Do you think sunbathing on my yacht could change that?” he inquired with a smirk.

“I don’t think the way to Shego’s heart is through her wallet,” she answered. At least, she hoped that was the case. If Shego was waiting for someone with money, Kim figured that her chances were shot down like wild geese during hunting season. After all, if she had two pennies to rub together, it was only because Shego had given them to her more often than not.

“Well, there must be some way to get her away from that old, non-tan, blue man,” Junior commented.

“Hey, if you find it, let me know,” Kim joked.

 

-8-8-8-8-

A knock at the door interrupted the evening. Shego was still in the kitchen making spaghetti, so Kim knew that it was on her to get the door. She opened the door and almost gasped, but she caught herself. Drakken was at the door. Oh, her mistress was going to have a time of it now, the petite adventurer thought.

“Good evening, sir,” the redhead said with a bit of a nervous smile. She was willing to bet that now it was definitely a good thing that she did not go for a walk like her owner wanted her to do earlier.

“Where’s Shego?” he demanded.

“She’s not here,” Kim lied. But, he did not seem to believe that one. She had been certain that she would have gotten him with something so simple, too.

“Shego!” Drakken bellowed and stepped inside of the apartment.

Kim sighed and shut the door behind the irksome inventor. Drakken entered the living room and noticed the sapphire-eyed young man. The frown that tore through Drakken’s face bordered on hateful.

“What’s he doing here?” the scientist shouted.

“I am here for the dog. What of you?” Junior countered with an arched eyebrow.

“What dog?” Drakken asked in a puzzled voice.

“Leonardo, duh. Don’t you even know that your own girlfriend has such a large dog?” Junior replied. Leonardo was getting to be on the big side. Kim wondered what kind of mixed dog he was.

“Shego,” Drakken called again.

“What?” Shego huffed as she came into the living to get the man to stop yelling.

The super-powered female did not even care that her boyfriend had shown up while she was entertaining another man. She was not even embarrassed by that. She was upset with him for screaming her name through out the house as if it was miles wide. It actually never occurred to her to even be ashamed with what was going on. But, then again, she did not shame easily.

“When did you get this dog?” the cerulean inventor inquired as if he was angry with her for having the nerve to have a canine. If that was the reason that he was angry, he certainly had his priorities confused, the two ladies thought.

“I don’t know. What the hell does that have to do with anything, anyway? What the hell are you even doing here?” the pale woman countered. Could the evening get shot to Hell anymore than it was?

“I came by to see you,” he replied, still sounding very outraged. He had noticed all of the special attention that she was receiving from Junior through out the week and he was going to confront her about it, but now he found the young man at her residence. He did not know what to think.

“Why can’t you call just once?” she inquired. If he called, she would know not to answer the phone. She needed to prepare mentally before spending time with him.

“Look, I’m here now. What’s he doing here?” Drakken pointed at Junior, who looked offended that the onyx-eyed doctor was even paying him some mind.

“He’s having fun with the dog. Why don’t you follow his example while I got finish dinner,” she suggested.

“You’re cooking for him?”

“She’s cooking for me,” Kim interjected to give her beloved owner a chance to escape, which Shego did as soon as the scarred scientist turned his attention to the redhead. And to think, her master did not want her around, she mentally gloated. _Totally helpful!_

“Don’t you ever do anything around here?” Drakken snapped, obviously taking his anger out on her since she was an easy target. Well, he thought that she was an easy target anyway.

“Sure, I do plenty. I smile big and look really cute. On challenging days, I sleep for long hours. Those really hard jobs,” she quipped. She was tempted to tell him that she cuddled close to Shego on really tough days, namely everyday. He probably would not know how to take that, she considered.

Drakken grumbled and turned his attention to the dog. Leonardo growled at the newcomer as he reached out to touch him. As unfriendly as the canine had been toward Junior, he had not growled at the sapphire-eyed young man. Drakken seemed to be getting it from all sides. Rightfully so, Kim thought. 

-8-8-8-8-

The party of four reluctantly sat down for dinner together, even Leonardo was served. He just did not have the same meal as everyone else. Shego let the dog have some ground beef, which seemed to satisfy him. He was left in the kitchen to avoid getting anything on her carpeted dining room floor.

Kim appeared to be the only happy one of the bipedal bunch and that was more than likely because they were having spaghetti; or at least that was what Shego thought. The pale woman knew that no matter how her pet acted, the girl could not be happy to be sharing the table with two men that were interested in Shego. Everyone was silent for a long moment.

“You know, this is one of the best meals I’ve ever tasted,” Junior commented. He had already finished half of his meal.

“Isn’t it just spanking,” Kim concurred. If her extraordinary master could not do anything else, she could cook.

“Yes, next time I’ll bring wine,” Junior offered.

“Next time?” Shego and Drakken said simultaneously. There had better not be a next time.

“Of course. Oh, but next time, while I’m in town, I should take you out. If your cousin’s around, perhaps she’ll join us,” Junior replied. No one at the table could believe his proposal.

The guy had balls; they all had to give him that. After all, he had just stated, not asked, that he was going to take out the girlfriend of another man with that man sitting right across the table from him. That took an incredible amount of guts and absolutely no respect for the other man involved. It was even more incredible when the other man involved did not say a word in return.

“I’m there,” Kim stated with a smile. She knew that with every smile, she was dooming herself further with her mistress. When Junior and Drakken left, her owner was probably going to murder her and that was if she was lucky. Her owner could always decide to be really evil and just never make spaghetti ever again. Oh, one day, she might have to consider being a good pet. After all, she did depend on that woman for everything and it probably was a good idea to not always get on her keeper’s nerves.

“Okay then,” Junior said and he flashed that perfect smile of his along with his shiny teeth, which bothered Shego.

The super-powered woman hated seeing males smile at her pet. From Josh to Ron to Felix to Junior, she just did not like it when they smiled at her monster. She also thoroughly detested when guys made her pet smile. She refused to consider the reason behind those feelings, but she admitted to herself that she disliked such things. She had to resist the urge to shove her fork in Junior’s eye because of that.

Surprisingly enough, everyone survived dinner. No one was even scratched, well, physically anyway. Drakken’s pride had to be a little wounded and Shego’s patience was certainly shot to Hell. There were a few times when it seemed like Shego was going to snap, but she controlled herself.

They made it out of the meal safely, but there was still more to the night it seemed because no one was making for the door to return to home. It was not even that they had to go home. Shego just wanted the guys to get the hell out of her house now that she had very reluctantly fed them. Great, she realized, now she was expected to entertain the freeloading bastards, too. _This night just gets better and better_ , she thought with a frown.

-8-8-8-8-

Shego walked Junior to the door when the night was finally done. He and Drakken had done most of the entertaining that evening, doing everything except for whipping them out to see who’s was bigger. She and Kim were thankful for that small favor. But, the guys did spend the whole night trying to one-up each other, apparently attempting to impress Shego. Kim was ready to tell them that they should do like most other mammalian males and fight for her mistress. It would have been a funny sight to see, she was sure of that.

Junior left at the absolute last moment only because his daddy could not hold their private plane on a commercial runaway for any longer than it was necessary for the young man to get his tanned hide to the airport. She hated to think of what would have happened if the plane could have been delayed just a little longer. She might have had to kill someone to relieve her frustration with the two guys. She bid him farewell and was about to close the door on the nightmare, but he stopped her. 

“What’s wrong?” the pale woman inquired.

“I forgot something,” he realized.

“What?”

Junior leaned down and kissed Shego gently right on the lips. It lasted for over five seconds before he pulled away. It never even entered her mind to push him away from her. The kiss was soft and sweet, like a marshmallow. He whispered his goodbye and left her in a daze in the doorway. 

“Shit,” she muttered when it finally dawned on her what she had just done.

The green-hued female walked back into the living room to sit with Drakken. Kim had volunteered to “walk” Leonardo. She was, of course, returning him to his proper home. The girl did not want to be around with Drakken in the house because she did not want to experience anymore of his screw-ups.

In Kim’s opinion, Junior proved that Drakken deserved Shego just as much as a monkey deserved a million dollars. The scientist really must have just won the girlfriend lottery when it came to Shego. Any man that remained silent while another man told his girlfriend that they were going out when he got back into town did not deserve the girl. Kim knew that if Shego was her girlfriend and Junior had tried that mess, she would have kicked his ass eight ways to Sunday and then warned him that if he ever tried anything like that again, he would only be able to have meals through a straw for the rest of his life, but that was if Shego was her girl. Unfortunately, Shego was Drakken’s girl.

“So, what was he doing here?” Drakken demanded.

“He just wanted to see the dog, that’s all,” Shego answered in a dismissive tone. It was not like she had done anything wrong; nothing that he knew about anyway.

“And what about all of the flowers and candy and stuff that he brought you this week?” he inquired, still in a huff about everything.

“What? I threw that shit out. I can’t help it if the guy wants to buy me shit,” she argued.

She could not stop Junior from buying her a bunch of things unless she followed him around all day and hurt him to get her point across since he did not seem to listen to her much when she spoke. She had not even kept the stuff that he brought her; she gave the toys and candy to her pet, who thoroughly enjoyed all of the gifts. It was not hard to please her elfish monster, well, as far as she was concerned anyway.

“You don’t … um … like him, do you?” he inquired in an unsure voice.

“What?” She was taken back by the question. She absolutely did not like Junior. She could not stand him at all. He was just an annoying, big baby, right?

“You know like him like him,” Drakken clarified like they were in the fourth grade.

“No, I don’t like Junior. He’s, uh, Junior,” she pointed out with a shudder. He was nothing more than a spoiled, rich brat that probably was only interested in her because he thought that she saved his life. There was nothing to like about him, except that he was handsome, athletically built, rich, had cute eyes and he had a kiss that could make a girl melt. But, she digressed.

“Okay,” Drakken said.

“Why, did you think I was going to bolt on you and leave you for Junior?” she asked with a laugh.

“No!” he denied that vehemently.

“Good because that would be stupid.” It would be stupid to leave one annoyance to be with another, she told herself. Sure, that other annoyance was rich, powerful, and handsome, but he was still quite irksome.

“I know. I mean, why would you leave me? I got game,” Drakken proclaimed with an arrogant smirk.

“Yeah, insane amounts of game,” she scoffed and rolled her jade eyes. He had about as much game as a newborn baby.

“You doubt my mad game?” he inquired.

Okay, she wanted to know who was teaching him stuff like that. He made slang not only sound unnatural, but almost unholy. He definitely made it sound extremely uncool and she would not be surprised if he was stuck by lightning and smote by the gods of hotness for it.

“No, no, no. I’ve got no doubt about your mad game,” she replied. Yeah, she knew for a fact that the man was mad, stark, raving to be exact.

“Let me show you.”

Shego was kissed for the second time that night and it was the second best kiss of the evening. She ignored that fact and just figured it was good that Drakken was exerting himself. In the back of her mind, she had to remember to kick Betty’s ass for making her entertain Junior because that merely started a bunch of trouble and possibly opened up a can of worms that she did not even want to acknowledge. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: With Junior gone, one would think that Shego’s life would get easier. Don’t think like that. Never think that her life gets easier. Shego’s life spirals downward to the point that she contemplates getting rid of Kim. What could bring such thoughts on?


	19. Dilemma Nineteen: Painkillers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Nineteen: Painkillers

Kim came home after taking Leonardo back to Doctor Director. She reported that the “great doggy façade” was a huge success, which made Betty breathe a sigh of relief. Apparently, the money meant a lot to Betty. Kim was glad to not be so needy and in charge of a whole department of police officers. She could imagine how nerve-wracking the one-eyed woman’s job was with some many people depending on her decisions and her ability to get them what they require.

The redhead entered the apartment and scanned the perimeter for evidence indicting if Drakken was still there or not. Her sharp eyes did not catch sight of anything that proclaimed his presence or his absence. She did not want to go to her mistress’ door and listen for some sign, so she decided to sleep in her bed for once. It was there for that reason, after all.

When the girl woke up the next morning, she found out that she had made a very sound decision. She heard Drakken complaining about something, but she did not bother to try and comprehend his incoherent babbling. It was too early in the morning for his crap. She just lay in bed and waited for the couple to leave for work. Part of her did wonder what the inventor was bitching about. After all, he got to sleep with and wake up next to her mistress. He should be ecstatic whenever that happened, in her opinion anyway. _But, some people are never satisfied, I guess_.

Shego watched Drakken walk out of the door and then she told him that she would be out in a moment. He did not argue, thankfully. She was not a morning person, so she would have just snapped at him if he had any words for her. All of his complaining that morning had been directed toward the air and wisely not to her. She knocked on the wall below the loft to get her pet’s attention.

“Yeah?” Kim asked.

“Breakfast is on the counter,” Shego informed the girl.

“Okay.”

“Do you have classes today?”

“Yeah.”

“Then get your ass up,” the pale woman commanded.

“Yes,” Kim groaned. Her master made sure that she went to all of her classes, not that she needed to do that.

“Now,” Shego ordered. She could hear her pet throwing a tantrum in the loft, but she was obeyed. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego was pleased with how the day was going. Why was that? Well, she was currently tracking a thief with the talent to stretch. She had an assignment for once, a _real_ assignment, and she was thankful for that. He had tried to punch her from about fifty yards away when she first came across him and informed him that she was law. She dodged that attack easily because while he could stretch, he could not do it very rapidly. It did give him a chance to run, though.

For some reason, the thief did not want to stop and play with her, much to Shego’s dismay. She actually did not care that he did not want to mix it up. After all, eventually, she was going to catch him and they were going to have to dance whether he liked it or not. He did not seem to know that, though.

The green-skinned woman made sure to stay on the guy’s tail while he was attempting to make a getaway. She panicked him every now and then by “disappearing” from behind him and then “reappearing” in front of him. It was amusing, but she was really just waiting for him to get frustrated enough to throw his arms out a long distance again. She did not have to wait very long.

The thief huffed and flung his arm out at Shego while she was ahead of him. She was prepared for the situation thanks to the chief briefing her on the guy. She smirked and moved in front of a car. He followed her, putting out a hand on each side of the car, so that she could not get away. Shego took hold of his arm and put one ring of some handcuffs around his wrist. She then quickly grabbed his other limb and attached the second ring to that arm. She was not done yet.

While his arms where stretched out beyond her, apparently he was not the best judge of distances, she began lifting the car up since she knew that he was going to have to bring his arms back. It took a lot of her strength to lift that car. Hey, she got plasma energy, not super-strength when the meteor was dishing out powers. He snapped his limbs back to hopefully get a hold of her, but she ducked just in time and he ended up bringing the car that was in between both of them to him. He screamed in terror before the automobile even impacted him.

“Ouch,” Shego grimaced as he smacked himself with the small car. “That’ll leave a mark,” she commented. She had work, so she felt good. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego felt like crap. She had not gotten any sleep for the past few days. She sat up just dreading the day that she had for one simple reason. It was the same reason why she had not gotten any sleep and why she felt like crap.

She was sitting up in her bed at the moment. She was waiting for her pet to come in because she knew that the girl would. Well, she hoped that the girl would. Kim had actually slept in her own bed for the past week or so, so Shego believed that her imp was due. Although, she did feel that way yesterday, too, and the day before that, not to mention the day before that, and she was only disappointed those days.

“What’s wrong with her? Hell, what’s wrong with me?” Shego did not want to think about either of those questions.

Shego glanced at her clock to see that it was well after midnight. Maybe her munchkin was going to stay in her bed again. Shego did not understand it. Why was her monster not being, well, a monster? Why was Kim suddenly obeying the rules? Shego wondered if the girl knew that something was wrong. With her pet, it was quite possible. After all, the redhead seemed to sense when she came home before she even made it to the door and she smelled that she used different soap and shampoo when she stayed at Drakken’s place or even when she was just there for a few hours. Maybe her girl knew.

Just as she was thinking that her twerp was going to stay where she was, the door creaked open. The redhead staggered in, it seemed that she was half-asleep. She closed the door silently and quietly marched over to her mistress’ bed, seemingly not noticing Shego was sitting up, wide awake and alert. The pale woman guessed that her brat sneaked into her bed so often that she would do it with her brain running on automatic now. She went straight for her usual spot, too, which Shego thought was amusing and rather darling. 

The emerald-eyed female happened to be sitting where Kim tended to park herself in the bed. She crawled into bed right onto Shego. The officer laughed a bit while grabbing up her surprised girl.

“Come here you,” Shego said and she cradled the redhead in arms, which woke Kim all the way up.

“What’s going on?” Kim asked with a yawn.

“You tell me. You’re the one creeping in here at damn near one in the morning.”

“How come you’re not asleep?” the olive-eyed girl inquired while resting her head on Shego’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around her warm owner’s waist. She decided to enjoy being with her keeper as they were, even though she could sense that something was amiss just for the fact that her owner was still awake and currently cradling her. She could not guess what that might be because everything seemed to be going on as usual, aside at the moment anyway. She figured that once her brain was completely on in the morning then she could deduce what was going on.

“No reason,” Shego answered as to why she was still awake. She rested her cheek in her pet’s soft orange-red mane.

“Are you sure? You can tell me, you know.”

“I know, Princess. I know.”

The super-powered female continued to embrace her pet, even when the girl fell back to sleep. She stared down at her cute, little imp. For some reason, holding her pet made her feel a little settled, but still she worried. What was she going to do, Shego wondered. What if it was true? Would she have to give her pet up? To be perfectly honest with herself for the first time in a long time, she did not to give the little monster up. She wanted to keep her pet.

“Would you stay with me forever like you said if it’s true?” Shego wondered.

For a few seconds, the pale woman doubted that even her very devoted pet would stay with her if she knew. She would not be able to pamper the girl as much as Kim was now accustomed to. But, she knew, deep down, Kim did not stick around with her to be spoiled. The little pest might actually try to remain with her, she considered.

She would probably have to give the girl up for her own good once again. Her pet might try to stay, even if things got hard. She bet that the girl would try to sacrifice for her to be there for her and she just could not have that because that was not her brat’s job. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego sat at her desk, considering going to talk to Betty about her possible predicament. She really did not desire to have the conversation with her friend because she would prefer that the one-eyed woman did not know about the problem that she might have. Well, she supposed that she should not think of it as a problem, but that was what she believed it to be. Well, that was if it was even there. It might not be anything at all.

The emerald-eyed female noted that she had gotten off-track. She was supposed to be pondering chatting with Betty. She was leaning toward not doing it because things would more than likely be better for her that way. She doubted that her friend would be much help. She was willing to bet that the one-eyed female would just lecture her about things that she already knew. It was not like she was some silly, scatter-brained, careless teenager, but that was how Betty would make it seem more than likely.

The bad thing was that Shego did not have anyone else to go to, which she supposed was why most people had at least two or three good friends; it was like having a spare. She really did not want to put up with Betty’s cynicism at the moment. She had too much on her mind already to think about how condescending the chocolate-haired woman would be if she discussed the matter with her. She was not sure whom else to speak with, though.

Well, there was always one other person that she could discuss the issue with. There was one person that she could speak with and probably get some good advice without any smugness attached to it. Unfortunately, that one person’s opinion of her would probably drop very low. She should not care about that, but deep in a part of her being that she hated and wished that she could cut out with a steak knife, she did care. She did not want to have the conversation at all, but she needed to talk with someone and Betty was out.

She considered that instead of talking with someone, she could just pour her troubles out to her pet, which was what she typically did. She generally just told her pet things while the girl was curled up next to her for whatever reason or while she was grooming her brat instead of yakking about things with other people. Her imp was a good listener and she always felt better after telling the redhead things.

The raven-haired woman could not tell her little monster about her current problem, though. She would have to tell her munchkin that she might have to leave or at least get a job or something along those lines. She would have to inform her pet that she could not be a pet anymore. She did not want that. She desired that her pet stay just the way that she was.

Shego sighed. It was going to come down to waiting, which she had been doing for a while, too long in her opinion. She might as well talk with someone, she conceded. She pulled out her cell phone and searched her mother’s number. She dialed and her mother’s voicemail picked up. She sighed again, but left a three-word message anyway.

“Mommy, it’s me,” was the brief message.

Shego had to wait until she was on her way to her car after an extremely boring day at work for her mother to get back to her. She wondered what sort of business her mother was conducting for her to have been tied up for so long. It was not her business, but she figured that she would ask if she got the chance.

“Hey, firefly. You called me?” Isabel asked the obvious question.

“Yeah,” Shego replied with a sigh.

“I would’ve gotten back to you sooner, but I’m helping do fight choreography on a television show or something and these people are far from martial artists. They should just give it up and call in some doubles to do the work. What’s wrong? You sound stressed. Is your pet giving you hell?” Isabel teased.

“No, Pumpkin’s fine. It’s just that I think I might have to give her up.”

“Why is that? She’s being a good girl, right?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s being really good,” Shego assured her mother.

“Then what’s the problem? You know she wants to stay with you, so she’ll be hard to get rid of. Well, unless she wants to leave anyway. Does she want to leave?” Isabel asked curiously.

Isabel was very aware that Kim cared passionately about her daughter, so she doubted that it was Kim’s idea for her to leave. She wondered what her daughter had gotten into where she might have to make her beloved pet leave. She would prefer that her daughter not do anything and let Kim decide if she wanted to stay or not. She believed that Kim would stay no matter what and she also believed that her closed-off daughter needed her little pet to stick around.

“She doesn’t want to leave. But, she might have to go,” Shego answered her mother’s question.

“Why would she have to go?” the older woman inquired.

“Because … I’m late,” the officer informed her mother.

“You’re late?”

“Yeah, Mommy, I’m _late_ late.”

“You mean…?” Isabel asked, getting what her daughter was implying. She could hardly believe that. She was glad that they were speaking over the phone and not face to face or she would have offended her daughter because of the expression that she was wearing at the moment.

“Yes,” Shego confirmed.

“Well, don’t panic,” Isabel said while making sure to take her own advice.

“I’m trying my best not to.”

“It might be nothing. Have you bought one of those tests?” her mother asked.

“No.”

“Well, maybe you should buy one of those,” Isabel suggested.

“I…”

“I know it’s a bit of a scary thought, but it’s better to know than to worry. If you are, you don’t really need to get rid of your pet. I mean, I kept my parrot when I had your brother,” Isabel remarked.

“Yeah, you had that parrot until Hego … Well, let’s not even relive what he did to that bird. Besides, Princess isn’t a parrot.”

“I know,” Isabel replied. She decided against asking why the pet would have to go because she could guess the reasoning behind that since it took two people to get into the situation that Shego was in. “Look, firefly, just take it one step at a time. Don’t worry about questions that depend on an answer you haven’t gotten yet. Get the answer and then figure out what to do with Princess. Try not to worry.”

“I’m not worrying,” Shego argued.

“All right, all right, you’re not worrying. Well, just get one of those tests and take it from there. Feel free to call me and tell me the news.”

“All right,” Shego replied.

“And if it is nothing, do be careful from now on.”

“Mommy,” she huffed.

“I’m just saying,” Isabel stated.

Shego sighed as she disconnected the call because she did not even want to hear anything else from her mother. She was careful, but sometimes, unfortunate things happened that were out of her control. Now, she was going to have to go to the store now and probably get the worst news of her life. She did not even want to think about it. 

-8-8-8-8-

When Shego got into the house, she suffered through her usual greeting. Kim noted that her mistress had a plastic bag in her hand and she was sparked by her usual curiosity, not to mention her usual hope that the bag contained something for her. She watched as her apparently wary owner disregarded the bag by hanging it on the bathroom doorknob. Kim was a bit bemused as Shego left the bag and went into her bedroom.

“No ‘don’t touch it’ standing order?” the redhead wondered out loud. It was like her master barely noticed her to not leave such a command.

Kim considered that she might be heading into a trap. She had to chance it, though; her curiosity demanded satisfaction. She crept up on the bag and looked around in every direction just in case her keeper was around. The coast was very clear, a little too clear in her suspicious opinion. She tested the waters by poking the bag once and then stepping away very quickly, just in case her mistress started yelling as she normally did. But, no noise followed her actions for once.

The redhead grinned and grabbed the bag. She silently did a victory dance. She was about to get away with something! She opened the bag and saw that there were three small boxes inside. She picked up one to see what it was and gasped while dropping the bag.

Kim then did something so unlike her and it made very little sense, she ran. She did not even leave the house, which was why it did not make any sense and she knew that it was stupid. She retreated up to her space and hid under her cover as if she was frightened toddler. She was not sure why she did that, but she did it and she stayed up there for the whole evening.

“Princess, are you coming down for dinner?” Shego inquired. She had not bothered the girl, thinking that she might be doing schoolwork or something important. She did not get an answer to her question. “Princess, are you even still up there?” she called.

“Yeah,” Kim replied in a mumble.

“Come on, I made the cutlets that you like.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“What? What do you mean?” Shego asked. She was not sure that she had ever heard such words from her petite monster before. “What the hell makes you think dinner is an option, anyway? Come eat.”

“Not hungry,” the girl huffed.

“Come down here right now!” the pale woman commanded. There was no way that her girl was skipping a meal after she had taken the time out of her life to cook for the little twerp.

“No!” Kim replied, which shocked her master. Shocked and angered to be more precise.

“Get your little ungrateful ass down here right now!” the green-skinned woman ordered in a very forceful tone.

“Why don’t you come up here and make me!” the redhead retorted.

“Don’t think I won’t!” Shego proclaimed. If her shrimp truly believed that she would not come up there and yank her bony butt out of that loft, then the girl did not know her as well as she thought she did.

“You won’t!” Kim shot back.

Shego scoffed and climbed the ladder to the loft. Her little brat would learn not to call her bluff and she would stop acting out while going to eat her dinner. She crawled onto the loft and scanned the area for her munchkin. She spotted her girl hiding underneath her blanket.

The law enforcement agent sighed in sheer frustration the second that she saw where her pet was. She just did not need all the crap that was in her life at the moment, especially the sulking, spoiled monster that she had. She yanked the cover off of the lump that was her girl and found her elfish brat curled up into a tight ball with a distraught look on her face. She wondered what was wrong with her pet.

“Pumpkin,” Shego said in a stern voice that was meant to get the slender adventurer moving toward the table to eat her dinner.

“Go away,” Kim muttered as she turned her face away from her mistress.

“Stop moping and come eat,” the raven-haired woman ordered. 

“I don’t wanna,” the redhead mumbled.

Shego sighed once again in aggravation. The little bug was actually going to make her ask apparently. “Why not?” she inquired through gritted teeth.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Pumpkin, just what in the hell is your problem?” Shego demanded with an impatient snarl.

The emerald-eyed officer did not need a trying pet in her life at the moment. Kim was not helping her mood at all after the day that she had. Not to mention, the past few days that she had. She was frustrated and ready to lash out at anything, so she did not need her imp acting like a maniac at the moment.

“You!” Kim answered in a harsh shout and her owner was actually taken aback by that response.

The pale woman snarled again and ignited her hands. She was not about to be ripped into by her pet, by someone that she clothed, fed, occasionally bathed, groomed, and a million other small things, especially not after the week she had. She raised her hand and was seriously prepared to strike the girl with all of her might. Kim did not seem to care.

“You’re not even going to move, are you?” Shego asked in disbelief.

“I don’t care,” the redhead pouted. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Pummel me if you want, if it’ll make you feel better.” It might make things easier on her.

The green-skinned officer sighed and powered down. “What’s wrong?” she practically begged, her voice quiver.

“Nothing.” Kim sounded dead inside.

“Pumpkin, what is wrong?” Shego asked again because she was worried about her pet. The girl had never acted as she was at the moment.

Kim looked up at her beloved owner with the most pathetic and sorrowful expression that the older woman had ever witnessed. Shego did not understand why her impish pest was looking at her in such a way. What had she done to the girl? What had she done to her little monster?

“You’re going to make me leave, aren’t you?” Kim asked in a whisper and it sounded as if she was about to burst into tears.

“What’re you going on about?” Shego inquired.

The adventurer’s olive eyes began to well up with salty water; she was obviously about to cry. The pale female could not figure out what her girl’s problem was. She was at an absolute loss. She had not done anything to her brat all day and yesterday the girl seemed completely fine. So, she did not see why the girl was about to cry.

Shego sat down next to her girl’s bed and tried to grab Kim. The redhead resisted her mistress for the first time since they had met. Shego growled and pulled harder, but the younger woman continued to struggle.

“What the hell is your problem?” Shego demanded as she finally managed to collect her brat into her arms. The girl was being a real monster. “Why the hell are you being more of a fucking brat that usual?”

“I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave,” the eccentric adventurer replied in a mumble while shaking her head. A few tears rolled down her cheek, which Shego gently wiped away with her thumb.

“Why would you leave if you don’t want to?” the older woman inquired while trying to not think about the fact that the girl was seriously crying in her arms. Sure, she was not outright weeping, but the light tears were hurting her, causing her heart to clinch tightly in her chest.

“You’re going to throw me out.” Kim was certain that she was going to be evicted from her home for the second time.

“Why would I do that?” the pale woman asked in a low, tender voice. “Why would I throw you out after keeping you for so long?” What was going on in her pet’s head to think that she was going to throw her out? If she was going to get rid of her imp, she would have done it a long time ago, she reasoned mentally.

“Because … because … because you’re … you’re … you’re…” The redhead could not even manage the last word to make her phrase a sentence. She sniffled and her nose ran just a bit.

Shego picked up on the message that her monster was trying to convey. She glanced away for a moment. Her pet seemed to think on the same lines as she did, assuming automatically that she was going to have to go. She held Kim a little tighter.

“You went in the bag, didn’t you?” Shego asked, even though she knew the answer to that.

“Uh-huh,” Kim replied. She had known that something was wrong with her master, but she had not thought that it was something so big, so life changing.

“Why?” Shego asked in a low, sympathetic tone. It sounded like she was pleading to know why her pet would do such a thing.

“I thought … I thought it was something for me. You didn’t tell me not to go into it,” the redhead answered in a small voice.

“So, I need to tell you not to go in a bag all of the time?”

“Well, it helps,” the girl said with a meek shrug.

“You’re such a pathetic creature,” Shego sighed. No matter what, her little monster would always be a pitiful thing in her eyes, she guessed. The girl just did such foolish and odd things.

“So, I’m going to have to leave, aren’t I?” Kim asked in a low voice, loathing the answer that she knew was going to come. Shego glanced away and sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that half hour alone.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the answer to Kim’s question. Isn’t that enough?


	20. Dilemma Twenty: Concertina Locomotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Twenty: Concertina Locomotion

_I can’t breathe. It hurts too much inhale or exhale. All I can do is cry. I’m so scared. I’ve never felt this way before. She has such power over me to hurt me this way, to scare me this way. I’d rather be lost at sea and surrounded by great white sharks than feeling the way I do right now. I know considering who I am that might not seem so big, but I’d really prefer anything to feel this way. It is_ **so** _the drama._

Shego cradled her heartbroken, traumatized, impish munchkin. The hero was not getting any better as the seconds ticked by and her mistress remained silent. She had asked a very important question and she desperately desired the answer to it, even though she was certain that it would shatter her heart and soul into infinite pieces. She still needed to know the answer no matter what. Kim was sure that she was going to have to leave her home eventually because her master was not responding. Oh how that thought practically killed Kim on inside.

The redhead could not believe the pain that she was in. She had never experienced something so hurting and she had been injured plenty of times in her life, which was not a surprise considering how she spent much of her time. It was so agonizing that she felt like she was going to throw up from the throbbing ache coursing through her entire being.

“Don’t worry, Princess. I’m not pregnant,” Shego informed her concerned, nearly scared-to-death pet. She wished that the girl did not even know because of how much pain she was obviously in. She was never looking to cause her twerp emotional wounds like she had.

“No?” Kim asked with a whimper.

“No, the tests were all negative. I guess I should make a doctor’s appointment if my period doesn’t show up soon. I’d like to know if something is wrong with me, after all,” Shego commented, trying to make it sound like she was making a joke.

Kim breathed a sigh of relief, even though she thought that it might be inappropriate to be happy that a life had not been conceived. She noted that her adored master seemed to be relieved, too. Kim wiped her tears away and Shego held her a bit closer to her as an attempt to comfort the olive-eyed girl more so than she was already doing. The redhead could feel her owner’s heartbeat against her cheek. The older woman kissed the top of her munchkin’s head.

“So, you okay now?” the pale woman inquired.

“I guess. I just … I thought that you were going to throw me out again and I don’t want to leave,” Kim admitted. Her mistress knew that already, of course, but she felt it was necessary to say.

“I didn’t throw you out the first time. Stop being such a brat and come on to the table before the food gets cold,” Shego stated, trying to trivialize the whole situation now because she felt that the nerve-wracking part was over.

“Shego.”

“Hmm?”

“If you did … if you were … would you keep me? I mean, how could you keep me?” the redhead asked. She would not mind staying if her mistress ever did have a baby. She did not care that she would not be able to be a pet anymore. She just wanted to be with her mistress in any way. It was just that the father of the baby might have a problem with her being around.

“Don’t worry about it, Pumpkin. It’s not going to happen,” the green-skinned woman tried to assure her little monster. She did not want children and she was not going to let it happen. She was now determined to not allow that to happen.

“It could’ve happened just now,” the redhead pointed out. They were both all too aware of how close it to happening.

“Fine, it could’ve happened, but it didn’t and it damn sure won’t. I’ll just have to be more careful and I will. I don’t plan on having any brats. I’ve already got you to look after. I don’t need or want anymore,” Shego remarked.

Kim smiled, hearing those words were rather reassuring. It made the olive-eyed hero feel very loved and appreciated. She had faith now that her mistress would not be so quick to get rid of her unless something really big came up. Hopefully, nothing really big ever came up because she never wanted to leave and she never wanted her owner to have to consider getting rid of her. She also never wanted to feel the way that she just had; it had felt like murdering her would have actually been doing her a favor.

The pair stayed cuddled up for a little while with Kim snuggling in close to Shego. The pale woman kissed her pet’s forehead a few more times, making the girl feel better with each action. She really did not mean to cause her elf such agony and she wanted the girl to know that without her having to verbally apologize. The odd thing was that it did not even cross her mind to blame the whole ordeal that they had just gone through on Kim, even though Kim had been the one touching stuff that was not hers, which would have been the way that Shego looked at things if she had not been so wrapped up in worrying about her brat.

“You ready to eat now?” Shego asked in a low voice, fingers running through Kim’s hair. The redhead only nodded.

The two then went and had dinner like they always did. It was a little subdued, but not sorrowful. They both figured it would take a little time to go back to normal, but they _had_ the time.

The next day, Shego found out that she was seriously not pregnant. She had never felt so relieved in all of her life. Just the idea of possibly carrying that man’s offspring made her want to violently retch. _Children with Drakken? No thank you._ That had to be a for real sin because it just sounded so wrong. She would definitely have to be much more careful. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Kim was hanging out in a rainforest; oh, how she loved it. She was not there for a mission for once. She was just having a good time.

The redheaded explorer scaled a tree with great ease, attempting to get up to the top and seize a boa. She was helping out a PhD candidate collect snakes for a study he was conducting on comparing the size of the same types of snake from different regions. She needed to get the field work credit and Big Mike needed someone light enough to climb trees considering the fact that he was practically a giant and there was no way that the thin branches would ever support him, so it worked out well for both of them. They were having a good time, too.

“Hey, Kim, are you doing all right?” Big Mike called up to her from the forest floor. She was in a tree that was about the same height as a nine-story building.

“Yeah, I’m cool,” she replied while continuing up the tree.

“You still see it?”

“Yeah, it’s not moving,” she reported.

“Be careful. It looks like a big one,” he cautioned her, knowing that petite redhead had a habit of going for things without thinking it seemed, not caring how far she was from the forest floor.

“I’ve got it. No big,” she assured him.

Big Mike did not argue with her because he was very aware that she was capable of handling herself, which was one of the reasons that he had asked her to come along with him. Big Mike had gone to high school with Kim. They even shared a detention together once, so he knew a little bit about her and what she could do. She would have never guessed that he would be a PhD candidate before she was, but he was twenty-five now, so she guessed that it was all right and it was nice to see that he had gotten his act together because back in high school, he had actually considered dropping out a few times.

The giant fellow was an expert on big snakes, constrictors. The slender hero was looking more into handling venomous snakes once she was finished with all of her schooling. Big snakes did fit him, though since he was Big Mike and all. She was enjoying hunting down large snakes with him and getting a glancing understanding of the serpents.

Kim crawled to the edge of the branch of the tree for the huge boa. She snatched the serpent and laughed in triumph. The branch suddenly snapped and she went down along with limbless creature that was very secure in her grip. She was not worried about her current falling predicament. In fact, she was still laughing all the while plummeting down about nine stories with no net at the bottom. She giggled all the way down and landed safely in her partner’s huge arms.

“You have got to be more careful, Kim,” Big Mike commented, shaking his head. “That’s the third tree you’ve fallen out of and it’s by far the tallest. I don’t want to see you get splattered if I don’t catch you.” It seemed that she only dropped out of the trees that she would surely die from the fall if he did not catch her. 

“If I were more careful, you wouldn’t have half the snakes you do,” she pointed out with a smile. “Plus, I trust you to catch me. You’re way better than a safety net.” Besides, it was not like she did not have a plan if he was not there to catch her.

“Yeah, well, I can’t risk losing you then, can I?” he countered.

“No, I suppose not. Come on, let’s go hunt some more pythons,” she suggested with an innocent, carefree smile.

“Okay,” he agreed while putting her down and taking the snake from her. They bagged their catch and moved on, searching for some serpents.

-8-8-8-8-

Shego came into the apartment and was not ambushed for the first time in a long time. She wondered if her monster was up to something, especially when she did not see the olive-eyed girl sleeping on the sofa as she usually was when Shego failed to get a hug at the door. She quietly marched through the house, looking for a chance to bust her pet if she was doing anything wrong or just stupid. She located her girl by the extra room, struggling with something it would appear.

“Pumpkin,” Shego called in a stern voice. She could not make out what her imp was doing exactly because the wall was blocking her view just a little.

“Shego!” Kim gasped and flashed her curious mistress a very nervous grin. She laughed a bit while trying to shove something into the study/gym.

“What are you doing?” the pale woman inquired with an arched eyebrow as she stood a couple of feet from her pet in the hallway. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed while waiting for her girl’s answer.

“Um … nothing?” the redhead guessed.

“Looks a lot like something.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“No!” Kim insisted that it was nothing at all while attempting to get the “nothing” to stay in the room.

“Yes.” Shego began stepping closer to the room.

“No! It’s nothing! I mean it!” Kim promised with way too much vigor in her owner’s opinion.

Shego, of course, was not buying any of it. “Me thinks the pet doth protest too much,” she remarked as she walked over to see her petite rascal was attempting to untangle herself from a twenty-foot serpent. “Princess, what the fuck is that?” she demanded in forceful, but calm tone. It was not so much that she was enraged as she confused as to what the snake was doing in the house.

“Um … an African rock python,” the redhead answered with a bit of an uneasy smile. She was not too sure how her mistress would take having the twenty-foot serpent in her home, but she doubted that Shego would take it well. Come on, how many people would take it well to have a snake that was capable of killing them in their home and not in a cage? No one that Kim could think of.

“So, what’s it doing here instead of in Africa?” the super-powered woman inquired, still speaking in a calm tone. She was not angry about the snake being in the house. She just did not understand why a monster reptile was not where it belonged, namely in a jungle somewhere.

“Nothing.”

“It looks like it’s doing something.”

“No, it’s really not.”

“I see, so it popped into say hi and is going to be heading back to Africa in a few minutes,” Shego offered.

“Probably not.”

“Then how long is it going to be here?”

“Just until tomorrow. Big Mike couldn’t get permission to carry this one, so he left it with me. I easily got permission and I just have to hold it for the night,” the adventurer explained.

“So, how dangerous is this thing?”

“Not very.”

“Not very in actual fact or in your warped little mind?” the raven-haired woman inquired to be clear about things. She did not know much about big snakes, but from the look of the size of that one, it might be capable of eating one of them and she would like a bit of a heads up if it could.

“Um … I’m going to go with my warped little mind to be on the safe side of things. Don’t worry. It ate before we left, so it should still be digesting its last meal and everything should be fine,” Kim replied with a huge, anxious grin.

“Uh-huh. Is that why it’s trying to strangle you?” the pale woman asked.

“Constrict. It’s not the same thing.”

“Both leave you dead, which is the important thing. It better be gone by tomorrow and you better not be dead because I have to kill you over this,” the apartment owner declared.

Kim chuckled nervously. “I’m sure it will be. Big Mike needs this beauty.”

“You know a guy named Big Mike?” Shego asked incredulously. There were people looking to gain higher educations with the word “big” in front of their name? Oh, it was a sad day for education. She imagined he was another strange and probably annoying guy that her pet knew.

“Yeah. Big guy, the name suits him,” Kim replied. 

“Whatever. Try not to become dinner while I go make dinner. I don’t want to have to fry the snake to get you back,” the green-skinned woman remarked and she left the girl to struggle with the python. Having a deadly animal in her home did not bother her, as she was not afraid that it would kill her and Kim could take care of herself, in regards to matters like this anyway.

-*-(Next day)-*-

Shego and Kim were sitting down and having breakfast, hot cereal for the pet and a bagel for the mistress, who seemed to like her pet to eat better and healthier than she did on some occasions. Shego was also reading the newspaper and having a cup of tea with her bagel. She happened to glance out into the living room as something caught her eye.

“Princess,” the older woman said.

“Yeah?” Kim answered.

“Why is the rock python in the living room?” Shego inquired in a calm tone, like it was normal to have a twenty-foot reptile in the living room.

“Maybe he wanted to watch TV,” the redhead replied with an amused smile.

“Pumpkin,” Shego growled. She did not mind having the snake in the house, but she did not want it wandering about the place or the girl might end up losing it. The last thing that they needed was to wake up a month from now and find the snake trying to eat one of them.

“What? It’s not doing anything. Maybe it was too hot or cold in the room. Maybe it wants some water or something.”

The olive-eyed girl hopped up from her seat and went to the kitchen. She filled a pie pan with some water and took it into the living room. She placed the liquid in front of the serpent and then returned to her breakfast. Shego glanced over at the snake and then focused back on her paper since the serpent seemed content in the living room with the water next to it.

“When’s Big Mike coming?” the raven-haired female asked, trying to ignore the fact that she had just addressed a grown man by the name of “Big Mike.” It was too early to be annoyed, she decided. Besides, it was her day off, so she might as well relax and not let silly things bring her down.

“Sometime this morning. He’s going to want the snake as soon as possible to go back to school and start his research,” Kim explained.

“Okay.”

The slim hero was glad that her mistress was not freaked out or frightened in any way about having a large snake in the house. Since her future lay in snakes and other reptiles, it was nice to see her owner was comfortable with what other people might consider creepy-crawler type animals. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

The redhead went to answer the door, assuming that it was Big Mike coming for his precious serpent. She found out that it was not the young man she was expecting, but it was Doctor Drakken. She sighed and shook her head. It was like he did not know what a telephone even was unless he was using it at some ungodly hour on her master’s day off. It was also like he was totally unaware that popping up unannounced annoyed Shego to no end.

“Come on in,” the girl pretended to invite him in because he would come in whether she said something or not.

“Shego!” Drakken hollered, ignoring the fact that Kim had even answered the door. He did not greet her in any way and she did not care about that. She did not need his acknowledgement.

The green-skinned woman sighed because it was much too early to have to deal with him. Apparently, it was no longer too early to be irked. She fought against the migraine that was attempting to work its way to the front of her head already thanks to his presence. Drakken entered the living room and screamed, a high-pitched, girly, frightened wail.

“Ah! What’s that?” the blue scientist shrieked while pointing down at the large snake.

“What? It’s just a snake and it’s not even thinking about you. Stop being such a baby,” Shego commented as she entered the living room.

“That’s not a snake. It’s a dragon!” he declared.

“Calm down,” Shego said with a tired sigh. He was freaking out over nothing. The serpent did not even seem to care that he was there. He was getting on her nerves after being in the house for five whole seconds.

Drakken did not calm down and Shego ushered him into the kitchen, where he would not have to see the snake and, hopefully, he would stop acting like the thing was planning on devouring him when he was not looking. The redhead went back to her breakfast since the show was over. Not even two minutes later, there was another knock at the door. She hopped back up and went back to the door. She opened it and a dark blue shirt was blocking the doorway.

“Big Mike,” Kim grinned and greeted him with a hug around the waist. It was a good thing that Shego was in the kitchen because she would have hated to witness the greeting.

“Hey, Kim. How’s my rock python?” he asked.

“Basking in the living room, watching reruns of old cartoons. Come on in,” the olive-eyed girl replied while moving out of the way in order for him to get in. He had to duck down to make it through the doorway.

“Nice place you got here,” Mike commented as Kim directed him to the living room with a motion of her hand. She closed the door behind him while he looked around the apartment.

“Thanks, but it’s not mine,” she informed him.

“Right. What, it’s your owner’s?” he asked with a laugh.

“My owner’s?” she echoed. She did not think that it was common knowledge that she was a pet, but if Big Mike knew than a lot of other people had to know because she did not speak casually with him like that.

“It’s just a running joke that we all have in the biology department that you’re someone’s pet because you walk around in that collar all the time. We call you Kimmie the kitten when you’re not around,” he explained with a good natured, amused smile.

“Oh,” Kim said with a laugh. They all thought that it was joke, not that it was reality. Well, that was good, even though it was a bit disheartening to know that they talked about her when she was not around. But, they could have said worse things, she guessed.

“Don’t worry. We’re not being mean about it or anything,” he assured her. “The whole department loves you, you know, but nobody wanted to ask about the collar or anything.”

“Okay,” she smiled and nodded without explaining the collar.

“Oh, there’s my snake. Lovely,” Big Mike commented when he caught sight of his snake doing just as the little redhead said it was.

“Yeah, I told you I’d take really good care of it,” Kim stated with a smile.

“That you did. I didn’t doubt you for a second.”

The eccentric hero watched as Big Mike gathered up his serpent and secured it in a carrier. She then bid him farewell and walked him to the door. Once he was gone, she returned to her breakfast, only to discover that it was cold. _Oh, that’s just great_ , she thought sarcastically.

“Shego!” Kim whined, hoping to get some attention, but her mistress was busy with her big, blue coward.

Oh, yeah, that was just really great, the redhead thought with a huff. Okay, her breakfast was ruined, Doctor Drakken interrupted her day with her mistress, and she was not getting any acknowledgment because he was terrified of a snake that was not even in the apartment anymore. _Screw this_ , she thought. She was going back to bed before something serious happened. She could take a hint. She was not about to be the punch line to some cosmic joke that day. 

-8-8-8-8-

By the time that Kim woke up again, the apartment was completely silent. She looked around from the loft and did not see any signs of life. She leaped down and wandered into the living room, thinking that she might have been left all alone. She found her master curled up on the sofa with a book. She did not hesitate in going over to the pale woman.

“I was wondering when you’d get your lazy ass up,” Shego commented as her pet lay across her.

“What time is it?” Kim asked curiously. 

“A little after three.”

“Man, a five hour nap. That’s not like me.”

“Don’t worry about it. Days off are made for things like that. You rip and run around so much that you should catch up on your sleep whenever you can,” the emerald-eyed woman commented while subconsciously caressing her girl’s scalp.

“What happened to Drakken?” Kim inquired while leaning into the older woman’s touch. She was close to purring from the simple contact.

“He kept freaking out about the snake, so he left on his own.”

“But, the snake was gone like a minute after he got here,” Kim pointed out. Although in the back of her mind, she was considering going out to find another big snake to hold in the house for a day or so if it kept him away.

“Don’t argue it. You act like you want him here anyway,” Shego riposted.

The redhead only smiled. Okay, she did not want him there. He cut into her time with her beloved owner, so of course she did not want him around. She did not like the man much, which she did not think was so awful. After all, she was fairly certain that her master did not like him much either. He was not a very likeable fellow point blank.

Kim recalled back when she first met Drakken, before she even knew her mistress. She did not like him much back then and she did not even have the excuse that he cut into her time with Shego or that he was Shego’s boyfriend. He was just an unbearable jackass in her opinion, simple as that, and she knew quite a few people agreed with her.

She was not too sure why Shego stayed with Drakken, but she had been thinking about it on and off ever since she had met Shego’s parents. The couple did not seem to like each other too much, but they were still married and, as far as Kim could tell, that influenced her keeper.

Maybe Shego was looking for a relationship similar to the one that her parents shared, the redhead considered. Could she beat Drakken if that was the case, Kim wondered. She certainly would keep trying until the very last day of the contest, maybe even longer than that if necessary. Hey, her “kimness” would demand it and she was fairly certain that she would not be able to function properly if she ever lost Shego. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: It’s cold outside, but not inside. Some more cuddle time after so much anguish.


	21. Dilemma Twenty-one: Pass it on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I also don’t own Nightmare on Elm Street, Saw II, or Yoo-Hoos (at least I think that’s how it’s spelled), all of which get mentioned in the chapter.
> 
> Also, I seem to be on thieving role, but in the last chapter Kim was referred to “Kimmie the kitten,” which as it turns out I accidentally stole from Chibi-Zion, who said it was cool for me to use, but I’d like to say where I got it. Go check out Plastic Hearts by Chibi-Zion (at FFN) to see the phrase again. Well, I’m pretty sure it was that story. Check it out, though.

Dilemma Twenty-one: Pass it on

_I hate thinking it, but my brat is so damn adorable. She’s seriously tooth-rotting-trip-to-the-dentist sweet. She does the silliest things, things that should get on my nerves, but all I do is think they’re cute. All I can do is think that she’s cute. How does she make me think these things?_

It was cold outside. No, wait, saying that it was cold outside was incredibly inaccurate about the weather predicament. It was freaking freezing outside! The North or South Pole had nothing on Go City at the moment. It was so bad outside that all of the traffic lights were frozen on one color, signs were frosted over, and there were no signs of intelligent or even stupid life. It was so cold that Kim bet the artic animals at the zoo had on winter gear and were sitting by fires. But, that was outside; inside was another story altogether. Inside the apartment was practically the equivalent to heaven in Kim’s opinion.

The thing was that Kim was wrapped in a very warm blanket and sitting on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate that was within arm’s reach. The beverage had tiny marshmallows in it and whipped cream, but that was not the part that made the apartment paradise. In fact, the little things were practically irrelevant.

The important thing that made the apartment heaven for the redhead was that her mistress was wrapped in the same blanket as she was. Yes, she was sharing a cover with Shego. She desired nothing more to grin widely and then cheer loudly like a happy child that had been given more candy, but she controlled herself. She had cheered in her head, but nothing beyond that. She did not act out at all because she did not want to get on her owner’s nerves. They were supposed to be relaxing and she was very content to do just that.

The olive-eyed girl had herself pressed up against the pale woman’s side and they were doing a movie marathon since there was nothing better to do on such extremely frosty day. Shego was glad for the excuse to not go to the park and play Frisbee, which she noted her pet would do even in the snow if she suggested it. Well, she supposed a good pet would do just about anything her master wanted of her, even if she thought there was something wrong with the command.

“Tell me when the scary part’s over,” Kim requested as she hid her face in her master’s shoulder for the fifth time since they had started watching the thriller.

“What kind of hero are you?” Shego asked. “I can’t seriously believe you, the girl who studies venomous snakes and hikes through jungles, is freaked out by hack horror movies. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Just about any kind of horror movie bothered her pet, Shego noticed. From “Nightmare on Elm Street” to “Saw II,” the redhead always wanted to know when the scary part was over. One time they watched a movie, well, no, it was more like Shego watched the movie while Kim spent an hour and twenty minutes with her eyes shut and her head turned away. The raven-haired woman did not know about her pet sometimes. Okay, most of the time, she just did know what was up with her girl.

“I just don’t like horror movies,” the adventurer replied. 

“What, it’s not like it’s real. Surely you’ve seen scarier shit in your life. I mean, you’ve actually saved the world on several different occasions. I know you’ve been to some of the worst places on Earth. You have had to have seen something a lot more frightening than a papier-mâché torso being hacked to pieces with jam dripping out of it,” the green-skinned female commented. 

“Well, yeah,” the hero answered.

“Then how come you can’t watch a horror flick?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t. Is the scary part over yet?” Kim asked, making sure to keep her face turned away from the screen.

“Yeah,” Shego answered.

The redhead turned to look at the television just in time to see two people getting their heads pulled off. She yelped and held onto her owner tighter while trying to hide her head in Shego’s shoulder again. The elder woman laughed a bit and shook her head. She would think that the girl was playing around and trying to feel her up if she never saw the look of sheer terror in her pet’s olive eyes. Part of her did feel like a jerk for messing with her imp as she was, but she tried her best to ignore that part of her or at least soothe it by reminding herself that she did not mean the girl any real harm.

It was hard not to feel like a jerk, though because her pet was using her to hide. It was as if the girl looked at her as safety, the green-skinned female noted. She did not mind her pet looking to her for safety and protection. It was all part of being a pet owner.

“Is it over yet?” the slender adventurer asked again. She would not dare to look up until she was certain that the scary part was done with.

“Yeah,” the raven-haired woman tried to assure her cowardly pet.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not playing around this time, right?” the redhead inquired.

“Just turn and look.” 

Kim glanced very quickly as her look, it would be a surprise if she saw anything at all, and found that the brutal scene had passed. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against her master yet again. Shego rested her head on the top of Kim’s and she figured that the next movie that they watched would have to be anything but a horror film because she wanted the girl to stay just as she was and that way, she could lay her head on top of the girl’s because it was very comfortable. Their moment was interrupted by a knock at the door and they both knew that only one idiot could possibly be out in the near subzero weather.

“Aren’t you going to get it?” Kim asked when Shego did not make any motions to even get off of the couch.

“It would teach him a lesson if I didn’t,” the pale woman replied. He needed to learn to call before coming over and yelling at him did not seem to be doing the trick. Something told her that being left in the chill would not do the job either, but she figured it might get him to start thinking.

“What if he stays out there, though?”

“What do you care?” Shego countered.

“It’s not about me. It’s about you,” the redhead pointed out. 

Shego sighed; she hated it when her little monster made points. “Don’t let my spot get cold.”

The petite hero saluted while the raven-haired woman stood up and left the lovely warm blanket and oddly enough, in her opinion anyway, the comfort of her pet’s body. She wandered to the door while Kim sipped her hot chocolate. The green-hued female yanked the door open and motioned for Drakken to come in before he even realized that the door was open.

“It’s about time, Shego,” the inventor grumbled as he entered the apartment; his teeth were chattering together. 

“I don’t recall asking you to come here while the weather’s mimicking the North Pole,” she countered while shutting the door. It was so cold out there that she could practically feel the nip and she had an abnormally high body temperature. Not to mention, she could warm her body at will when she did begin to feel cold.

“I came to keep you company,” he retorted as if that was some big accomplishment. Maybe if she believed him and he was some other guy, she would have been flattered, maybe.

“Please, you got lonely,” she pointed out. She had all of the company that she needed before he showed up.

The ocean-colored scientist did not attempt to snap back, but frowned and grumbled mock-swear words under his breath, letting her know that she was absolutely right. He made his way to the living room, shivering all the way. Kim glanced at him and was surprised to see that he actually appeared to be bluer than usual. He forced her off of the sofa by sitting down on it. She begrudgingly took the floor along with the blanket while Shego took Drakken’s coat and things to hang up in the hall closet. She also retrieved two new blankets from the linen closet while she was in the hall and returned to the living room.

Shego handed one of the blankets to Drakken. She sat down next to him and wrapped herself in the other blanket. Everyone quietly watched the movie; well, Kim mostly hid underneath her cover since they were still watching the same horror movie from before. The cerulean scientist broke the silence when he noticed Kim sipping her hot chocolate.

“Oh, is that cocoa-moo?” the inventor asked.

Kim only looked at him while her mistress handled the hard job of actually asking, “What the hell did you just say?”

“Cocoa-moo,” he dared to repeat it as if nothing was wrong with it.

The two women looked at each other to make sure that they were both hearing the same childish nonsense. They then slowly turned their green gazes to him. Most people with a teaspoon of common sense would have at least been nervous having two pairs of jade eyes on them, but he seemed totally at ease with his response and their reaction.

“Just what the hell is cocoa-moo?” Shego inquired. She was upset that she even had to say it, but she wanted to know what he was referring to with such infantile words. 

“That.” Drakken pointed to the redhead’s mug.

“You mean hot chocolate,” the trim hero stated. “Well, that’s what all the big kids call it, anyway.”

“Might I have a cup?” the sky-colored male requested.

“If you never say those words again, you can have as much as you like,” Shego informed him and got up for the second time, much to her annoyance.

The apartment owner had not moved off of the sofa for about fours hours until that scarred nut showed up. Television had offered enough good movies for her to remain right where she had been for that long. Well, she had gotten up a little while ago to prepare her pet that cup of hot chocolate, but she did not count that task nearly as irksome as fetching the beverage for the loony male.

Kim and Drakken ignored each other for the whole time that he was there, namely the whole day, much to the ladies’ displeasure. He started sneezing toward the evening and that was when Kim decided to leave his presence. She would rather not catch a cold from an imbecile that came out in frigid weather without being properly equipped to handle the artic-like chill. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

“What’s wrong?” Shego asked Drakken over the phone.

The inventor had called the apartment at a semi-decent hour for once. In other words, the two women were awake before the phone rang and not taken from their rest by the usually offending noise. Shego was wasting a few days off that she had just to waste. She did not feel like chasing raging maniacs through snow and ice.

It was not even the cold that bothered her. Shego had a higher body temperature than normal humans and it took a lot for her to get cold thanks to her powers. She could also warm her body internally thanks to her powers. She just did not want to put up with wind blowing in her face or snow or accidentally slipping on some ice. It was also a good excuse to use to hang out with her pet for a few days straight. 

“I’m sick,” Drakken sniffled through the phone receiver.

“Really?” she asked, but she did not see what she could do about that. It was not like she had the cure for the common cold in her fridge.

“What’s wrong with him?” Kim inquired in a low voice. She was lurking around Shego while she was on the phone, listening to one side of the conversation because of that.

“He’s sick,” the pale woman informed the girl.

“Serves him right for wandering around in three degree weather. Offer to bring the idiot some soup and stuff,” the redhead suggested.

“What?” Shego asked in a puzzled tone while listening to her boyfriend whine over the phone. Well, she was not really listening in the traditional sense. She was just aware that he was going on about something.

“Bring him some soup. Nurse him back to health,” the olive-eyed girl elaborated, making meaningless finger circles.

“You’re helping again. It’s creepy when you help,” the master commented and she meant that. Something had to be wrong with her pet for trying to assist in her relationship with Drakken when she knew how her munchkin felt. 

“You should do it. He’ll think its sweet.”

Shego sighed. “Hey, how about I come over and make you some soup,” she offered the inventor in a really deadpan tone, mostly showing that she did not want to do it.

“Really?” the ill scientist inquired. He had not expected the proposal and that could be heard in his voice.

“Really,” she answered, trying her best not to sound deadpan as she appeared while she spoke since he did not seem to understand tone. She was not very successful. 

“Thank you,” he sniffled even worse than before. She was not sure if he was getting worse or if he was unsuccessfully probing for sympathy.

“I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Bye,” Shego disconnected the call. She looked at her shrimp, who was smiling proudly. The raven-haired woman shook her head. “It’s creepy when you help,” she repeated.

“Hey, you’re the girlfriend. You should do things like this if you want to keep him around if he makes you happy,” Kim replied, not that she understood why her mistress wanted the man around, especially since she knew he did not make Shego happy. She also doubted that he would leave her master no matter what because no one was that stupid. Well, she did not believe anybody was that stupid.

Shego did not argue with her pet’s comment because she could not argue, even though she would have liked to counter the girl in some way. She was the girlfriend and girlfriends were expected to do certain things, she guessed anyway. She did not even want to think about the “happy” comment. She decided to go start with things that she would need to take care of Drakken and his cold. 

-8-8-8-8-

The pale woman went to Drakken’s apartment and fixed him some soup. He was holed up in his bedroom, looking quite pathetic under a plethora of blankets with tissues surrounding him. She gave him his bowl and noted the disappointed expression in his beady little eyes. She stared down at him and struggled not to frown.

“What?” Shego asked after a while, even though she knew that she was not going to like the answer. 

“It’s just I like the soup with the letters,” Drakken replied.

And the green-skinned woman lost the struggle. She frowned deeply. He dared to compare her handmade, homemade soup to some high sodium, water in a can? She almost snarled at him and she was one thought away from igniting her hands, but she held her tongue and her plasma. It would do no good to kill him after taking her time to come over and nurse him back to health. Apparently, she could control herself sometimes. She just told herself that beating him up was not worth it at the moment.

The pale officer went out and made the sickly scientist some tea, lemon tea to help clear his nose and throat. But, as it turned out, he did not like lemon. He whined about the beverage, not caring about its purpose, but she was not really listening by the time he got started. It was best to avoid getting into a conflict, she told herself. Well, it was best at the moment. She was tempted to tell him that he could either drink the tea or get it through an IV, but she doubted that he would get the meaning behind the threat.

“Shego, can I have some juice?” the ailing doctor requested.

“Whatever,” she replied and she went into the refrigerator only to find that there was nothing but Yoo-Hoos in there. She sighed and shook her head. She should have expected as much from him. “Hey, I’m going to the store,” she called to him.

“Don’t leave me!” he whined from the bedroom.

“Do you want juice or company?”

“Both.”

“You can’t have both. There’s no juice in this house, unless you’re hording it some place that you don’t want to tell me about,” she remarked.

“Fine,” he huffed.

“Fine what? You want juice or not?” she asked through gritted teeth. Damn her little monster and her brilliant ideas.

“I want juice.”

“Then I’m going to the fucking store,” Shego declared and stormed out of the apartments. She was glad for a reason to get out of there.

The next two days were pretty much Hell in her opinion. Drakken acted like he was dying all because of his little cold and Shego struggled not to put him out of her misery. Thanks to him, she felt like she had wasted the days that she taken off. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego woke up her usual time to get ready for work. She sat up in bed and realized that she had a pounding headache. She groaned as she tried to breathe in and discovered that she was congested. She had a cold. _Damn Drakken and his fucking germs_ , she screamed in her head. Oh, she just wanted to kick him in the throat. Kim poked her head in the room through the door and threw off her mistress’ thoughts on revenge.

“Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes,” the pet chanted, as she had been promised pancakes last night as a bribe to stop her from throwing a very loud tantrum.

The funny thing was that the slim adventurer could not even recall what the outburst had been about now, but she was thankful that it was going to get her some flapjacks. They needed to have pancakes more often in her opinion, even though she had heard that too much of a good thing ended up being bad. She doubted that any kind of food that her master made would ever become a bad thing.

“Uh, not now, Pumpkin,” Shego replied while holding in a cough.

“Hey, you don’t look so hot,” the redhead noted while entering the room entirely to get a better look at her mistress.

“Drakken gave me his damn cold,” the officer informed Kim.

“That’s ferociously uncool of him. Well, I’ll get you some orange juice and your newspaper.” 

“What are you going to eat for breakfast?”

“Leftover pizza,” Kim answered as if that was obvious, which it was to her.

“I didn’t hear that quite right because it sounded like you said leftover pizza when I’m sure you said cereal,” the older woman said.

Kim sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Fine, cereal it is.”

The redhead went to get the orange juice and the newspaper for her ill owner. She delivered those desired items to her mistress and then she went back to the kitchen. She put on some hot water for tea and checked to see if they had the ingredients necessary for her to prepare some soup, which they did. So, she decided that she would make some fresh soup for Shego.

Halfway through her tasks, Kim was interrupted by a knock at the door. She answered the call to find that it was Drakken, how sad. Well, sad for her anyway. The day was not looking up. There were no pancakes for breakfast and he showed up. She was beginning to think that she should go back to bed, but she could not leave her mistress to fend for herself.

“Hi, Shego’s sick,” Kim instantaneously informed the annoying blue doctor. She hoped that the news would make him go away.

“Oh, really? Well, then, I’ll just have to make her better. I am a doctor, you know,” he declared and he entered the house, much to her dismay.

“Having a PhD and being a medical doctor isn’t the same thing,” she pointed out with a slightly offended look on her face. She could not believe the audacity of that blue moron.

Kim was upset with his words for two reasons. One, he seemed to think that she was stupid enough to believe that being a doctor translated into him being able to heal the sick. Two, her mother was a medical doctor and she did not like that he would try to degrade the profession by including himself there. It was bad enough that he was a real scientist.

“Besides, she’s just got a cold. No need to trouble yourself in staying. I mean, you might get sick again,” the girl said to hopefully scare him into leaving. 

“Nonsense,” he proclaimed.

The eccentric hero sighed and closed the door with a defeated look on her face. She returned to the kitchen to check on her soup and the tea. The tea was done, so she fixed a cup and went to deliver it to her ailing mistress. Drakken was nowhere in sight, which she thought was good until she discovered where he was, namely in her master’s bedroom. Kim handed Shego the mug containing the tea while hoping that ocean-colored inventor was not making her owner’s day even worse than it already was by being his usual annoying self.

“What’s that?” Drakken demanded, as if Kim might be trying to poison her beloved keeper. She was insulted by his tone alone. That was twice in less than ten minutes he managed to offend her.

“Well, the sane call it peppermint tea. You, on the other hand, probably know it as something much more stupid and juvenile,” the raven-haired woman remarked. How dare he take the tone he had with her impish monster. If she did not feel so under the weather, she would throw him out for that, literally right on his ass.

“Why would she give you that stuff?” he asked.

“It’s to help her feel better. I thought you were a doctor,” Kim replied, rolling her eyes. He could not possibly be that clueless, could he? Part of her wanted to believe that he was playing around, thinking that maybe Shego found the empty-headed pretense attractive.

“What kind of soup are you making?” the pale woman asked her pet since she could see that the olive-eyed girl had decided that she was going to take care of her mistress until she recovered, which Shego oddly did not mind.

“Noodle,” Kim answered.

“Of course,” the green-skinned woman deadpanned. She might have to teach the girl to make another type of soup just in case she ever was bedridden again. “You haven’t set the kitchen on fire, right?”

“Nope, everything is smoke and fire free.” Kim grinned before leaving the room. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim took care of her sick owner despite the fact that Drakken was in the way. He made soup whenever she made soup. His soup always came from a can, which he put in the microwave instead of heating it on the stove. For some odd reason, he always gave her this smug look when his soup was finished first.

He had some trouble making tea, it seemed. Maybe the stove was just too complex for him, Kim considered. She knew it did not help that the device was a little tricky, but it was not overly complicated. He gave up and eventually put the tea in the microwave as well.

The slender hero could not believe how stupid a genius could be. While she was rather peculiar and quirky and would easily admit to that, he was just flat out bizarre. She failed to see how he lived as long as he did while lacking some form of common sense.

She supposed that things could have been more irksome, but she could not think of how. He did not leave while her keeper was ill, much to the ladies’ dismay. Shego just could not express her irritation as well as she usually would because she did not feel well and he was just as annoying as ever.

She did a lot of groaning when he was around. She refused to indulge him and eat the canned soup, even if it was type that she normally would eat. She just wanted to be spiteful and ended up living off of Kim’s noodle soup during the time that she was ill. Drakken whined about it, but she did not respond and Kim ignored him as well.

It took Shego a few days to get better, but she was eventually good to go. She had wasted almost a week on being sick or taking care of a guy that acted like an invalid from a little cold. She figured that she should be happy to go back to work because at least she would be doing something that she believed to be fun and she would not have to put up with Drakken anymore. No more Drakken, or his soup from a can, or his microwaved tea that was mostly sugar anyway.

The emerald-eyed woman exited her room to go start on breakfast since she did owe her elf some pancakes, but she was halted from that task. She heard sneezing coming from the loft. She knew immediately what was wrong.

“Oh, no,” Shego muttered and she climbed the ladder to her pet’s space. “Princess, you okay?” she asked while looking around for her shrimp.

“Yeah,” Kim lied. She was still lying in bed and wrapped in her blankets like they were cocoons.

“You don’t sound okay.”

“I’m fine. I’m about to get up,” the girl groaned.

“Yeah, right,” Shego scoffed to show her disbelief.

“I am. Really,” the redhead insisted in a groggy, congested voice. She really was not, but she would never admit that.

“All right. Once you manage to get up, go get in my bed,” Shego commanded.

“Huh?”

“Go get in my bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Shego climbed back down to the hall and then went into the kitchen. Apparently, the pancakes would have to wait for another day. Instead, she made her pet some hot cereal for breakfast while Kim crawled out of bed. She marched to her master’s bedroom and eased into bed.

Some minutes later, Shego entered the room with the hot cereal and a glass of orange juice for the girl on a tray. She placed the tray to Kim’s side and then felt her monster’s head to make sure she did not have a fever. It seemed that Shego forgot that even if Kim had a fever, she would never notice considering her own body temperature.

“I’m okay,” Kim continued to persist. She was okay if okay meant that she felt like she had just fallen out of a window and landed on her head.

“Yeah, right. Just relax. I’m the master around here,” Shego declared.

“Right,” the girl concurred.

“So, lie down, eat your food, drink your juice, and then try to go back to sleep when you’re done. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”

“But, you’ve got work.”

“I’ve got days,” the pale female commented.

“But, you might need them,” Kim protested.

“Like today. This is why I save them up, for when I need them. Now, eat, drink, and sleep,” Shego ordered.

Kim complied with the commands, eating her food and drinking the juice. She then lay down to go to back to sleep while her owner took the dishes to the kitchen, but she found it rather difficult to go back to sleep. Shego came into the room after getting rid of Kim’s dishes and she lay down on the bed. She cuddled her girl in her arms and Kim was able to easily fall asleep after that. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Welcome back Motor Ed, Felix, and all around pandemonium.


	22. Dilemma Twenty-two: Meeting of the minds…the insane minds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own the premise.
> 
> Warning: Ed is raw dog. In other words, he is vulgar. Very, very vulgar.

Dilemma Twenty-two: Meeting of the minds…the insane minds

_Despite being a very pampered pet, I can still get my hands dirty with some fun work. Work can be fun, right? I’m sure it can because I love everything I do and some of that is actually work in the sense that I’m either trained to do it or in rare happenings getting paid to do it. Yes, I do get paid sometimes to do stuff._

Shego returned to work to find out that they had all new equipment around the whole place, especially down in the lab. Well, she heard, anyway. She tried her best to never go down to the lab because things tended to get creepy and very weird down there. She knocked on the boss’ door to hopefully gain an understanding as to what was going on around the whole office. She was granted entrance, even though she would have gone in whether the chief liked it or not, but she felt like being semi-polite and knocked.

“Hey, what’s with the redecorating?” Shego asked Betty, jabbing her thumb outside the office.

“Isn’t it great?” Doctor Director countered with an eerie smile.

Shego fought against a shudder that wanted to race through her body because she could not recall the last time that she had seen the older woman smile with some joy. It was a bit disturbing. She might have to tell Betty to never smile again, but she doubted that chief would comply. In fact, she might make it a point to smile more often to be irksome.

“The mayor increased our budget?” the green-skinned female guessed because that was about the only thing that she believed would affect her business-minded employer enough to make her smile.

“Don’t be stupid. He’d never do something that smart. It’s your guy,” the one-eyed woman replied.

“Drakken?” the younger woman asked in a puzzled tone. _What could he have possibly done to make Betty fucking smile?_ Oh, she did not even want to go down that path in her head.

“No, Junior,” Betty answered in “duh” kind of voice.

“Junior? He’s here?” Shego inquired while looking around. She needed to hide if he was around.

“No. You’re just on with the stupid questions today. He just sent a check to be nice and offered up all of this brand new equipment. It’s top of the line stuff,” the chief informed her employee.

“You’re kidding.”

“No, he donated all of this stuff. You must have really put it on that kid,” Doctor Director commented.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” the emerald-eyed woman argued with a sneer.

“I didn’t say you did. I just said you put it on the guy. You’ve got him under your spell. Now, that I think about it, you’ve been enchanting some of the strangest people. First Drakken, then Pumpkin, and now Junior. And you always hook them without sex.”

“You’re losing my interest,” the pale woman commented.

“Just musing out loud. Don’t mind me,” Betty replied, waving the whole matter off. She did find it a bit fascinating that her younger friend had people just desiring her and willing to do so much for her when Shego was hardly even friendly to them. Shego’s motto seemed to be “kill ‘em with cruelty and plasma” and people just came back for more, which led Doctor Director to believe that most people were clearly morons or gluttons for punishment.

“Any work for me?” The raven-haired woman was wishing out loud more than likely and she was aware of that.

“None at the moment, but I will keep you posted.”

Shego nodded and left the office. She tried to not think about what Betty was going on about. She did not really enchant people. She just made the error of doing things like paying attention to Drakken, pulling Kim out of a box and feeding the little monster, and worst of all, rescuing Junior from that robot that seemed to be trying to do the world a favor. All of those things had complicated her life. She did not know why, but those people, Drakken, Kim, and Junior all seemed to think that her strange mistakes were more than errors on her part. In fact, Kim seemed to take the miscues as signs of kindness and love. She sighed as she thought about it, so she decided to stop thinking about it. She just did not need the headache.

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego came in from an assignment and found an odd sight waiting for her in the office. There was a crowd of people outside of the chief’s door. It looked like the whole department was gathered at her door. The green-hued woman wondered what the big deal was, but decided that she would wait until Betty was free to simply ask her. The pale woman went to her desk and began to type up a report in her latest mission on her brand new computer. She silently noted that having more money in the budget was fantastic. Every desk now had a computer for the officers, which was great for those of them that had to do a brief report on each assignment that they had.

Before the Seniors donated money to the department, there were no more than five computers in the whole building and one of those was in Doctor Director’s office for her personal use. Another one had been located down in the lab. There were three remaining computers for the whole department to use, making their jobs when it came to doing reports almost impossible. Many of the officers used to just handwrite their reports, hand those over to the couple of secretaries around the place, and pray to any divine being there might be that the paperwork made it to the chief. Sometimes, it did and sometimes it did not. Shego, of course, just used Betty’s computer back in what the department now considered to be the dark ages.

The emerald-eyed female finished her report and waited for the crowd to disperse around the boss’ office. She had to wait until it was time to go home to speak with her friend. Betty was swamped with papers piled high on her desk. That unusual smile that she had been wearing before was long gone, replaced by a look of frustration. Well, at least that was not as alarming as her smiling. Hey, an aggravated Betty was the norm.

“What happened?” Shego inquired.

“All of the new equipment is acting screwy,” Doctor Director sighed. Just when she thought that their department was going to be all right, something had to come up. Damn it, it was always something!

“Yeah?” Shego asked. She did not think that anything was acting crazy, but then again, out of everyone, she had the least amount of new stuff, which she thought was unfair considering it was her blood, sweat, and tears that got them anything. She only received the computer while other people had gotten new weapons, vehicles, and other things. Her computer was performing lovely, so she really could care less than nothing about what everyone else was going through.

“Yeah, so everybody’s complaining,” the boss huffed.

“Call the company that makes all this junk then.”

“I’ve tried, but Hench Co. is a tough company to get a response from,” the one-eyed woman answered with a growl.

“Then call Senor Senior Senior,” the younger woman suggested.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful.”

“You’re going to make me call, aren’t you?”

“Well, Junior does like you and you are here,” the brown-haired woman replied.

“Fuck it all. Give me the phone,” Shego sighed, scratching her head. “I do expect more days for this one.”

“Of course,” Betty conceded. In a little while, if she continued to need Shego to do things that were not in the officer’s job description, the younger female would have enough days to take a year off.

The raven-haired woman picked up the phone and dialed up Junior after her boss gave her the number. He seemed rather pleased to hear from her, even when she got down to business and made it rather plain that was the only reason for her call. He dismissed her business quite easily by assuring her that he would tell his father to send the best person that money could buy to fix everything.

“Now, enough of this. How about you tell me how you’re doing? How is that pretty cousin of yours?” he inquired, clearly trying to start a conversation.

“Uh … fine,” the emerald-eyed officer answered, curling her top lip in disgust.

“That’s good. That’s good. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I wish you were here right now, relaxing by my pool with me.”

 _Wow, that is tempting_. For Shego, being poolside always topped being at work, maybe even if it meant that would have to be with Junior. Instead of admitting to that, she figured that she needed to try to escape now that she got what she wanted … or what Betty wanted anyway.

“I have missed you, so much. Have you missed me?” he asked.

Shego almost growled, but held it in. “Me, too,” she said carefully. She needed to be cautious of what she said with Betty siting right there.

“You cannot tell me that you miss me? Would you miss me more if I had stayed to take you lovely places that you deserve? If I had taken you out on my yacht? If I had shown you all of my favorite clubs and shared expensive champagne with you?” he asked in a seductive whisper.

Shego had to fight down a shiver because all of that sounded very wonderful. She had to make sure her face did not belie her interest either, not wanting to give her boss any ammunition against her. Some small part of her did desire to see Junior again and it tried to make that known in the conversation, but she fought against it.

“Those all do sound nice,” she replied, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. She really wanted to hang up, but Junior continued on. She remained on the phone with him for a long time since Betty was watching her, as if making sure she did not offend Junior. In fact, they spoke until his cell phone battery dead.

“That didn’t sound like you asking for help,” Betty pointed out as her friend hung up the phone.

“He said he’d tell his father sent for somebody. Go home, Bets,” Shego replied with sigh.

“That was a long conversation,” Doctor Director commented, as if she was about to start teasing her life-long friend.

“Keep it up and I’ll call him back and tell him to fuck off.”

Betty held her hands up in defeat. Shego smirked because it felt damned good to have a trump card again, even if that card was Junior. She did not stick around gloat, though. After all, she did have a pet at home that was expecting dinner that she needed to get to, especially before the fool kid started searching the kitchen for junk food to spoil her appetite.

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego waited with Doctor Director outside of her office. They were waiting for the repair team to come by and figure out what was wrong with most of their supposedly brand new equipment. Most of the department was anticipating the same thing, especially since they had such a high stake in things. Shego balked when she noticed a blond guy enter the building with four other men, including a dwarf that Shego still wanted to kick a field goal with.

“Yo, I’m looking for Doctor Director, seriously,” Ed announced in an extremely loud voice. Yes, he was the blond guy that Shego was unfortunately looking at and losing faith in anything getting repaired by the second now.

“I’m Doctor Director,” Betty informed him while walking up to the team with her employee behind her.

“Whoa, babe, what the hell happened to your eye, seriously?” Ed inquired while blatantly checking out the chief. She might have been wearing an eye-patch, but she was still curvy in all of the right places, which was all he required.

“Interesting, gorillas come in blond now,” she muttered while reaching out to shake his hand. He did not notice the move as Shego caught his eye. She was actually glad to not have to touch him.

“Whoa, it’s totally the green babe again,” the mechanic commented while slicking back his hair as if he was about to make a move on her.

“You know this brute?” Betty asked her friend.

“It’s my pet’s fault,” Shego replied, waving to dismiss the matter. While she tended to attract losers, meeting an idiot of Ed’s caliber required a lot of help.

“Are you the team that Hench Co. sent over?” the boss asked Ed. She was actually hoping that they were not the team.

“Seriously. Take me to your busted vehicles and whatnot,” Ed replied with a laugh. The ladies failed to see what was funny. The friends glanced at each other, neither believing what they had to deal with at the moment.

“This is a leading mechanical engineer?” Betty whispered to her comrade while the blond male flashed his identification to prove that he was the man sent in by Hench Co.

Shego was about to make a witty reply, but she noticed something even stranger than Ed approaching them. A trio entered the building and the trio included a blonde woman dressed in a very skimpy outfit along with a familiar brunette in a wheelchair and her pet. She arched a curious ebony eyebrow.

“What the hell is going on?” Shego wondered out loud. It was starting to feel like the universe was setting things up for one of its infamous jokes. She might have to leave, she considered. After all, she did not want to end up a punch line.

“Hi, I’m looking for Doctor Director,” the blonde woman announced with a pleasant smile on her face.

“That’s her right there,” Kim told the scantly clad woman while pointing to the chief.

“Oh, pleasure to meet you,” the blonde woman said while going up to Betty and taking the one-eyed female’s hand while Betty was busy wondering who the hell the blonde woman was. She sounded like a spoiled, vacant teenager. She did not look much older than a teenager either. Betty was certain that Shego was older than the blonde woman. And she did not even want to get into the way the blonde female was dressed.

“And you are?” the brunette female inquired in a puzzled tone while pulling her hand back. She hated being touched without granting permission, especially by people that she did not know.

“Oh, sorry,” the blonde woman apologized and giggled. Why was everyone laughing at things that were not funny, Betty and Shego wondered. They were sure that there was no gas leak in the place to cause such ditzy behavior.

“Whoa, Red, Wheels, what are you two punks doing here, seriously?” Ed inquired when he noticed Kim and her friend.

“We’re with Doctor Porter,” Felix answered while motioning to the blonde woman with a nod of his head.

“Her uncle asked her to come and make sure everything ran perfectly since she wasn’t doing anything this week around the space center,” Kim explained.

“Doctor Porter?” Ed echoed, tapping his chin. The name sounded familiar to him, but he was not sure where he might have heard it. He really did not care about the name once he noticed the doctor’s body. It was like the place was full of hot chicks, he thought.

“Hi, you must be Ed. I’m Doctor Vivian Porter, but feel free to call me Vivian,” the blonde female introduced herself with a friendly smile.

She pulled out her identification, showing that she was the lead scientist from Hench Co. Betty could only stare in shock that the woman was not only a scientist, but also the person that she had been expecting to fix most of the equipment. She had expected someone more experienced and more professional.

“Whoa, no way is a babe checking in on my work, seriously,” Ed objected while waving his hands around like the madman he was to show that he was completely against the notion of having a woman inspecting his handiwork.

“I’m not checking in on your work. My uncle asked me to look at the stuff down in the lab,” Vivian assured him as she put away her ID.

“And what did you bring Red and Wheels for? I’m not working with them, seriously,” Ed declared.

“Calm down. We’re helping Doctor Porter with her work. We’re not even thinking about you. Why would we work with you when we’ve got those curves to follow around?” Felix remarked with a lewd smirk, motioning to the blonde scientist.

“Felix, do you want me to tell Monique that you’re looking at another woman’s ass?” Kim teased in a rather angelic tone.

“I’m just making sure that no other woman’s ass is better than hers,” he replied with an angelic look on his own.

“Wait, you’re going to use these two kids to help you fix all of that complex and delicate equipment in the lab?” Doctor Director asked Vivian incredulously.

Betty did not trust Kim to tie her own shoes, so she damn sure did not trust the girl around all of that sophisticated and sensitive lab equipment. She did not care what everyone else said about the hero. She had seen the girl in action enough to question a lot of the anecdotes going around about Kim. She did not trust any kid that was Kim’s friend near those things either, so she was skeptical about Felix’s ability to do anything. She was barely willing to trust the blonde woman to do anything with the way that she looked.

“Kim and Felix know enough about these things to fix some of the mistakes that those hacks that work at my uncle’s company make. They’re nice kids,” Vivian commented and patted Felix on the shoulder since he was closest to her.

“Yeah, I mean, Kim remember that time we disassembled that tank made by Hench Co. and put it back together?” Felix asked with an amused look in his sky-colored eyes.

“Yeah, not quite as complicated as they made it seem,” Kim replied with a shrug. Hench Co. sometimes cut corners depending on what team of engineers they had working on something because some teams were lazier than others.

“Yeah, my uncle Jack should give you two jobs,” Vivian stated with another bright smile and a lighthearted shrug.

As if the whole scene was not bizarre enough, Drakken wandered up from the lab. He stepped off the elevator and noticed Shego with the crowd by the chief’s door. He wondered what was going on. He decided to join the crew and find out what was happening. He then noted that he knew a couple of people in the group, first he noticed Kim.

“Shego, what’s going on? What’s she doing here?” Drakken demanded, coming up behind the pale officer and pointing at the redhead to make it clear who it was that he meant.

“Apparently, she’s helping this woman fix the lab equipment,” Shego replied, motioning to Vivian.

“I can fix the lab equipment,” the cerulean scientist declared.

“You’re not authorized to tinker around with that technology like that,” Doctor Director argued. She would rather people that the company sent mess around with all of that junk because if anything went wrong, it was on the company and not because her employees were fooling around with things. Although, she was starting to think that the company was not taking the repair job seriously. It was that or science was really on the decline. She was leaning toward the latter.

“Whoa, cuz, is that you, seriously?” Ed asked when he noticed Drakken sort of hiding behind Shego.

“What the? Eddie, what are you doing here?” Drakken inquired in a confused voice when he noticed the blond male.

“I’m here fixing vehicles and crap sent in by Hench Co. What are you doing around here surrounded by gorgeous babes, seriously?” Ed replied.

“I work here,” Drakken answered.

“Dude, that is totally sweet, seriously. You’re, like, the luckiest dude I know to get to be around so many hot women all the time, seriously,” the mechanical engineer commented, glancing at every female in the area and earning a lot of rolled eyes. He would not mind working around Shego, Doctor Director, and Doctor Porter. Well, maybe not so much working around them, but playing around with them. Hey, even Kim was extra hot in his opinion as long as she was not criticizing his work.

“Since when do you operate in Go City?” the teal-colored scientist asked.

“Since those government project heads tripped about the ‘do. I mean, seriously, they wanted to clip the lion’s mane, seriously. So, I’m, like, totally freelance now, seriously,” Ed answered.

“Seriously,” Felix mimicked Ed rather well, earning some giggles from Kim and Vivian.

“Hey, seriously, Wheels—” Ed was about to tell the young man off for making fun of him, but Shego stepped in because she had enough.

“Ah, stop saying ‘seriously’! Just go do the fucking job,” the pale woman commanded in pure frustration, throwing her hands up. How could he use the same word in every sentence and not drive himself crazy? It was so annoying. The word was losing all meaning.

“Shego, no need to shout,” Drakken commented.

“Whoa, cuz, you know this babe, seriously?” the mechanic asked since his cousin just addressed “the green babe.”

“This is my girlfriend,” Drakken replied.

“Seriously?” Ed hollered while looking rather shocked and impressed. “She’s, like, totally hot, seriously.”

“AH!” Shego snarled and ignited her hands with the full intent on frying Ed so badly that he would never be able to abuse the English language ever again. It would be a service to mankind in her opinion. Kim and Felix were inclined to agree, seriously.

“That’s so cool,” Felix muttered in awe when the plasma flowed from the green-skinned woman’s hands. His mouth dropped open slightly and he did not blink.

“Shego, maybe you should go back to your desk. Better still, take the trio that isn’t working your nerves down to the lab,” Doctor Director suggested, even though she would not mind seeing her friend critically injure Ed. The problem was that they needed him alive and well at the moment, so she had to get her employee to stop.

The raven-haired female growled, but she did as she was ordered to do. She powered down her hands and motioned for the questionable trio to follow her. They were “questionable” for the simple fact that no one really believed that they could fix a cup of coffee, so it was a farfetched idea that they would be able to fix the lab equipment. Vivian, Felix, and Kim followed the irked woman to where they needed to be. They entered the elevator and went downstairs to the lab, which was empty. No one was there because almost nothing worked.

“Here you go. Knock yourselves out,” Shego said in a gruff tone.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Vivian declared with an enthusiastic grin as she clapped her hands together.

“Yeah!” Kim and Felix cheered right with her. They had been given a long list of things to inspect and repair, so they did want to get started as soon as possible. But, they also enjoyed taking things apart and putting them back together again.

“Princess,” Shego said.

“Yeah?” Kim inquired.

“Do you all really know what you’re doing?” the emerald-eyed woman inquired.

The officer meant all of them because Vivian did not seem to be all there, looking more like a call girl than a doctor of any kind of science. Kim was a biologist, a herpetologist to more precise, which had very little, if anything, to do with repairing lab equipment. And Felix, well, as far as she knew he just worked at an amusement park and liked ogling girls’ butts. Nothing about the team said they were qualified to even drive a car, so handling delicate, complicated lab equipment seemed quite ludicrous.

“Hey, I can do anything,” Kim replied with a grin.

“Don’t worry about it, Miss Kim’s mistress,” Felix remarked with a cheeky grin.

“You’ve been dying to say that, haven’t you?” the redhead asked with a deadpan expression on her face.

“You know I have,” he replied with an adorable smile.

“You just proudly tell anybody willing to listen that you’re a pet, huh?” Shego inquired, speaking to her girl of course.

“No, just my closest friends,” Kim replied.

“Well, I’ll leave it to you three. Try not to kill yourselves down here. We don’t need this place becoming involved in an investigation because then we’d have to deal with people looking to fire most of us,” Shego commented dryly.

“Yes, ma’am.” Kim saluted to be cute and it worked. Her mistress actually rubbed the top of her head for a second before remembering that they were both on the clock. 

-8-8-8-8-

Ed and Drakken decided to do some catching up while Ed was supposed to be working. He was working, just not very hard. Drakken stood off to the side while Ed inspected the engine of a car. They had no idea that the other was in Go City. They supposed that it was a bit funny. The blond was stuck on the fact that his little cousin was dating an exceptionally hot chick.

“Seriously, dude, she must be a sweet bang,” Ed commented; he was talking about Shego.

“Sweet bang?” Drakken echoed in a very perplexed tone. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what his cousin was going on about.

“I’m mean, just straight freaky, seriously.”

“Freaky?”

“Freaky nasty!” Ed practically cheered.

“Nasty? No, no, she’s not nasty. Well, her attitude is a bit,” Drakken conceded.

“Seriously, she’s probably flexible as hell,” Ed stated.

“Not really,” the sky-colored male replied. He did not know that he and his cousin were thinking of two different types of flexibility.

“Whoa, I bet she looks good on her knees. I mean, that ass was just fucking sweet, seriously,” the blond continued, hardly paying his bemused relative any mind. He had a very perverted image racing through his mind at the moment to go along with his remark.

“On her knees?”

“Yeah, seriously, kneeling, like she’s fucking praying to the gods of sweet fuck, seriously. I know that chick has got to be hot with her sweet ass in the air and just fucking moaning because she can’t talk and shit.”

“In the air?” The blue scientist was very bemused by his cousin’s words. He had no clue what the barrel-chested blonde was going on about.

“I would ride the shit out of her, seriously. You probably do it all the time. Just have her eating the fucking pillow all night long. Just fucking screaming to high heaven, spread all out and shit, seriously. Up against the wall, in the shower, and shit like that. I know you must hit that every night, seriously,” the mechanical engineer replied with a lewd grin.

“Eddie, just what are you saying?” Drakken asked, even though he was getting a vague idea that his cousin was being profane and saying some vulgar things. 

“Seriously, dude, I know you fuck her hard,” Ed answered as plain as he possibly could. He was actually stating what he would like to do, but he did not think that it would be right to come right out and say that to his cousin since he was talking about the guy’s girlfriend and all.

The cerulean inventor appeared quite taken back by his cousin’s words. He realized that his cousin was sexually attracted to his girlfriend and was speaking on how intercourse with her would be. He knew that Ed was crude and he more than likely should have expected such language from the mechanic, but he had not been prepared for his cousin to be attracted to his girlfriend.

Plenty of people seemed to be taking an interest in his girl, Drakken quietly noted. He might have to do something or he could possibly end up losing her, he considered. After all, she had appeared rather taken by that Junior fellow, he recalled. What if she took an interest in Eddie? He did not even want to think about that one.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: you are all going to be very pissed off. Simple as that and I mean, very. All I ask is that you let me write a will before you kill me.


	23. Dilemma Twenty-three: Ask no questions, tell no lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I also don’t own the Cheshire cat.

Dilemma Twenty-three: Ask no questions, tell no lies

_Hell, thy name is Lipsky. I’m so sure of that. I’m also sure that they’ve been sent by the devil just to torment me. I’ve never met a more annoying family, including Betty’s, hell, including mine! And I think we all know that’s saying a lot. These fucking pricks are putting in overtime when it comes to trying my patience and testing how far they can take things before I have to rip off a damn body part that they’re sure to miss._

Fixing the Hench Co. products that the special division of Go City had received did not take too long. It was only a few days because it was so many things, but many of them had minor problems. Ed spent much of his spare time speaking with Shego, much to her annoyance. To make matters worse, while speaking to Shego, he had the bad habit of doing an air guitar for who-knew-what reason. She suspected that he was doing it to drive her mad and it was working very well. She wished that she could get called for an assignment to get away from him since she knew that her boss would not like her flambéing the repairman while he still had work to do.

It seemed like everyone had work to do except for Shego and she felt it was because work would save her from Ed. Even her pet had something to do and that was not really something that Shego was used to. She was accustomed to her pet hanging around her whenever they were some place at the same time. She did not mind her little monster showing a little responsibility because she saw how the girl acted once they were at home. She was still a spoiled brat. 

Her pet spent most of her time with Felix and Doctor Porter. Kim figured that it would be rather unprofessional of her to pester her mistress while they were both supposed to be working and, yes, Kim was actually being paid for her assistance. Vivian had insisted that her uncle, Jack Hench, owner of Hench Co., pay both of her assistances even if she was examining the products as a favor to him. He had not seen the problem in that, paying two kids was a lot cheaper than being a team of people to repair an entire lab. He was just happy that his niece had decided to do it as a favor because her expertise was expensive, but he suspected that the favor was going to come back and bite him in the wallet. 

Drakken spent his time watching Ed openly hit on Shego. He watched the action from a distance. She seemed completely repulsed and annoyed with the blond mechanic to the point where even Drakken noticed. But, there was something strange going on. The thing that the sky-colored scientist noticed was that Shego refrained from striking Ed.

“If Ed bothers Shego so much, why doesn’t she just hit him like she would do to almost anyone else, though?” Drakken wondered in a mumble. He could not figure it out and he thought that it was suspicious. “Maybe she does like him a little.” He narrowed his gaze, glaring at the scene. Eventually, he had to tear himself away from the show because he had to get back to work.

Shego knew that if she hit Ed, it would only encourage him to bug her further, as he was quite clearly a masochist. She really did not want that, lest she have to slay him. But, she could only take so much. Hey, she was only human for crying out loud and anyone would crack after hearing an air guitar more than five times in less than fifteen minutes. For some reason, him smirking at her was the thing that sent her over the edge.

“Air guitar this, bitch,” Shego huffed as she kneed the mechanical engineer in the crotch.

Ed collapsed to the ground with a tear in his eye. Shego smirked down at him and felt satisfied for the first time in a long time. She stepped over his body and thought that would be the end of things, but once the pain subsided, he was back in her face. The pale woman was at a loss. _What the hell am I supposed to do to get through to him if he doesn’t even value his crotch? What kind of man came back for more after getting hit in the balls?_

Shego lucked out and got an assignment before she acted on the thought that life would be more enjoyable for everyone without Ed being alive. She was certain that everyone would agree, but she did not have to deal with him anymore while she went to catch a criminal. She just hoped that he was done with everything by the time she got back to the office.

With Shego gone, Ed moved on to bothering the woman in charge. He felt that “the one-eyed babe” was almost on the same level as “the green babe” when it came to being hot. Betty hoped to any higher power that he was going to be gone by the end of the day or she was going to shoot him. She was actually planning to shoot him because he was an asshole, seriously. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim noticed her mistress’ grimace when she came home. The green-skinned woman had injured her back and it hurt enough that when Kim offered to massage it, Shego took her up on it, even though she had to take her shirt off for it. Kim’s face lit up like a fireworks show.

“Just make sure this stays a massage or else,” Shego ordered.

Kim grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m serious.”

Her pet only smiled more. Shego rolled her eyes while Kim walked off to get some kind of oil to help matters. Shego was not sure what she had that would be good for a massage, but somehow Kim returned with something and got to work. Shego lay on the floor on her stomach with her head resting on her arms and a scowl engrained deeply on her face. Kim straddled her mistress’ waist, sitting on her master’s rump, and giving the pale woman a rubdown.

“How’d you do this again?” the redhead asked curiously while she was being careful to not hurt her owner as she tried to relax the older woman and make her pains go away. She was requesting the information on how her master had hurt her back.

“I told you once,” Shego replied in an irked tone. There was just no way in all existence that she was going to repeat that she had fallen down a long flight of stairs while chasing down a criminal. She had caught the guy, but once the adrenaline was gone, she realized that her back was killing her. Her pet was working wonders on that problem, though.

“Can’t you tell me twice?” the olive-eyed girl requested in a tone that let her owner know that she was smiling, even though she could not see the expression.

“No,” was the extremely blunt answer.

Kim laughed a little bit. She decided to just enjoy the fact that she was getting the chance to straddle her master and massage the woman without a shirt on. She was also getting a shot to show Shego how good she was with her hands, which was awesome. The bad part of her mind was working in overtime while she was working on her owner. She wondered if there was some way to talk the elder female into turning over, if only to give her a peek. She doubted it, though.

There were quite a few things that Kim would not mind suggesting while they were in the positions that they were in. She doubted that her mistress would go for anything that she would bring up, though. Maybe if she pointed out how relaxing the things would be, then her owner might at least consider it. _Nah_ , she decided to not bring anything up or she would probably ruin what they had going.

“How’s this?” the redhead asked as she worked on her master’s very tense upper back. Her keeper needed the massage, she thought, even without injuring her back. The older woman just needed something to help her relax.

“Go lower,” Shego ordered.

Kim ordered her brain to ignore the suggestive nature of those words and just obey the command. Her mistress moaned in a throaty tone as she moved lower. The slender hero exhaled slowly and told her brain to ignore the noise because that was the best thing to do. Man, if she could do such torturous work everyday, she would do it just to hear that wonderful sound again and know that she was the reason for it. 

 _This is sweet, delicious torture_ , Kim thought to herself while resisting the urge to lick her lips. She could not do anything that she wanted and she desired to do quite a bit with the woman right underneath her, who was topless and practically teasing her because of that. _The things I could show her if she’d only let me_. A knock at the door interrupted them; they both groaned, knowing who it was.

“Why not just give him a key?” Kim suggested. He was so predictable; whenever she and her master had something good and private going, he showed up to break up the party.

“Why not just let him move in while I’m at it? I mean, it’s bad enough that I never know when the hell he’s going to knock on the door. Could you imagine if he could just pop up and be in the house whenever the hell he felt like it? He might start showing up in the middle of the night.” Shego countered. Even worse than that was the thought that he might even get the very sick and wrong idea that he lived there.

“Point taken. Should I get that?” the olive-eyed girl asked since Drakken kept knocking and Shego was sans a shirt at the moment.

“Might as well,” the super-powered woman muttered. She really did not want the back rub to stop and she had no plans on telling her little monster to halt, even when Drakken came in.

“Okay, don’t move,” Kim told her mistress.

The elder female scoffed because her back still hurt a little too much for her to consider moving. The redhead hopped up and answered the door. Drakken was waiting and stepped inside. He walked to the living room while she shut the door. The blue scientist gasped in shock when he saw Shego lying on her stomach without a shirt on right in the middle of the floor.

“What’s going on?” the inventor demanded, bellowing as loudly as he could.

“She hurt her back,” Kim answered in a dismissive manner.

Drakken sounded rather upset, the hero noticed. If something shady were really going on, she would have whipped out some sensual oils at the very least instead of the plain lotion that she found. But, she did not need to go down that path in her head, she told herself because that would be real, sweet torment if she did. 

“What happened?” Drakken inquired.

“You shouldn’t do kinky moves,” the eccentric girl joked.

“Shut up,” Shego barked at her pet while Kim resumed her position on top of her mistress.

There was a section in the hero’s brain that was recording all the data at the moment and she knew that it was going to come back to haunt her in her sleep. She just hoped that one day she got to put the information to use again. Well, since she was an optimist by nature, she was fairly certain that she would be able to do everything that she was doing again and she would be able to use all that she learned some time in the future. 

“What are you doing?” Drakken practically hollered when he saw the redhead mount his girlfriend.

“Rubbing her back,” the adventurer answered in a “duh” voice while her mind went back to the idea of if something shady was going on, oils would definitely be involved, along with some other things.

The girl returned to eagerly kneading her master’s back. Shego sighed contently and closed her eyes, relaxing thanks to her little monster’s ministrations. She doubted that she would ever feel something so good for free. Well, she might have found a use for her lazy pet, she considered. A very good use.

The uninvited male could not believe his eyes. He had never seen his girlfriend look so rested, comfortable, and pleased. He quickly grew angry with Kim for being able to make Shego appear quite satisfied and then to make matters worse, the raven-haired woman moaned again. The cerulean inventor frowned deeply. She had never made such a noise when he touched her. Of course, he did not know until that moment that he would like her to make that sound with him. The pale woman did not notice the sound or Drakken’s expression because she was too wrapped up in the pleasure brought on by Kim’s talented hands. 

The elfish adventurer eventually noticed the look in Drakken’s onyx eyes and how he was seething to himself. She smiled mentally. Oh, how she wished that she could boast to him of her “powers” over her beloved owner. She decided to be a little bad and torment the bizarre doctor while she was going through her own torture. She continued the massage, just more deeply than before. She hit a spot and Shego moaned again, much louder than previous times and just a bit salaciously. It was music to the olive-eyed girl’s ears. She would bet both of her legs that he could never make Shego make such a noise and the incredulous look in his face confirmed that for her.

Kim did make sure to note the spot that she had just hit on her mistress. She would explore it later in full detail when she was certain that she would be given the chance. She was certain that her pained owner would appreciate it, even if she did not say as much.

“So, Drakken, what can I do for you?” Shego managed to ask, glancing at him through half-opened eyes.

She almost forgot that he was there seconds after he arrived. Her pet was doing such a good job working out the knots in her back and it was pure delight. She might have to get her munchkin to do a massage once a week or something. The feeling was close to making her toes curl. She would have hoped that her little pervert did not notice if she was capable of worrying about such things at the moment.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight,” the scientist answered while trying to fix the shocked expression that he was wearing. He just could not believe how that girl was making his girlfriend look.

“Not today. My back is killing me,” she informed him with a groan as her eyes fluttered shut again. Well, it would be killing her if not for Kim. It was sore, but she could probably function. She just did not desire to leave the tasty rubdown; yes, it was tasty. The massage was practically delicious and she moaned like it was good food.

“Maybe I could do that,” Drakken offered, referring to the backrub. Maybe he could make Shego look like she was if he was allowed to touch her like Kim was doing.

“She knows what she’s doing,” the pale woman replied, turning her head and settling as another moan escaped her lips.

“But, maybe I could do it,” he insisted.

“She knows what she’s doing,” Shego repeated.

Kim smirked at Drakken like the Cheshire cat for just a moment. He noticed and wondered what the smug expression was all about. She then focused all of her energy back on her owner and continued on with the massage. She tried not to think of all of the other ways she would touch her mistress if only Shego would allow it. She bet that she could get her mistress to do a lot more moaning if she was given the chance.

“So, how much longer will you be doing this?” Drakken asked the women.

“Until she can stand up without wincing,” Kim answered. She hoped that it would go on longer than that, though. Little did she know, but it had gone on beyond that. Sure her master’s back still hurt, but she was lying there more for sheer pleasure than anything else now. 

“I don’t suppose you’ll be making dinner then?” Drakken asked Shego.

“Probably not,” the raven-haired female replied. It was not like he typically ate her cooking, anyway. He usually just played around with the food, only eating a small amount of it.

“I can order pizza,” the redhead volunteered eagerly, like it was a special skill to be able to pick up the phone and order out.

“Sounds good,” Shego agreed.

“I can do that!” Drakken proclaimed.

The women did not argue. It was only pizza, after all. He was acting like it was something very important. Sure, Kim had acted the same way, but she was kidding around, playing her role, and he was serious. She was supposed to be adorable pet, after all while he was a grown man. He did not even know the number to the pizza shop, so maybe it was a special skill to order a pizza pie, Kim thought as a joke. She ended up handling the “difficult” task of calling for a pizza. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Drakken stared down at a letter that he had just received in the mail. He had been expecting it for quite sometime and he was glad that it was finally in his hands. In fact, he was grinning quite widely because of it. He figured that he needed to get back to the people that sent it as soon as possible. But, before that, he had to worry about taking Shego out for dinner and making sure that everything was perfect. It was St. Valentine’s Day.

Shego was aware that she had a “special” date with Drakken, it being Valentine’s Day and all. She could guess how the date was going to go, so that kind of took away from anything “special” there was about it. Still, she guessed that she should treat it as if it were extraordinary or magical because that was what a good girlfriend would do, or so her pet had insisted.

The green-skinned female was attempting to find an outfit that was halfway decent enough to wear for just such an occasion without it being over-the-top. It was not like he would notice if she wore anything over-the-top anyway or if he did notice, he would not understand why she was wearing such an outfit. She did not even know where he was taking her, but she was willing to bet that it would serve plenty of seafood. She was already ready to throw up.

Kim watched her, as was her usual thing to do whenever Shego was getting ready for a date. She was parked on the bed, lying on her stomach. She had already suggested what she thought her owner should wear. The emerald-eyed woman considered the girl’s proposals, but the outfits all seemed to be too much. A normal person would have thought that they were all right, but she was seeing Drakken.

“You’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Shego asked her pet. She knew that her imp had friends and things to hang out with, so she thought that they might have hooked her up for the day or something like that.

“Probably go on a non-date with Josh,” Kim answered with a shrug.

“A non-date?”

“It looks like a date, but isn’t,” the younger woman defined the concept.

“And why you and Josh?” the green-skinned woman inquired.

Shego did not like her pet hanging around that little wannabe mack-daddy, but she did not see the need to point that out. She had told her monster what she thought of the boy and what she believed his motives were, but she thought doing anything more than that might be seen as excessive and then people would start to question her motives. Her nutty elf had assured her that she had no plans to give Josh what he wanted, but Shego still did not like her hanging out with him.

“Well, typically, I’d hang out with Monique, but she’s got a guy now. Felix probably has something really good planned for her, too. He’s such a romantic at heart. All my regular friends are now coupled off and they have to celebrate the day as the couples that they are. Josh doesn’t do the whole ‘Valentine’s Day’ thing because he doesn’t want a girl to get the wrong idea,” Kim explained.

Shego shook her head. “You and the people you know.”

“That’s why you’re going to have to eat seafood tonight,” the redhead teased.

“Don’t remind me,” the pale woman groaned.

“At least Josh takes me out for pasta … if he can afford it anyway.”

“Two broke asses just hanging out.”

“That’s probably what’s going to happen,” Kim admitted with a laugh. She and Josh had always been a poor pair, but they made do. She doubted that they would know what to do with themselves if they both had money and went out together.

Shego was tempted to ask her pet what she with the money that she made from Hench Co. when she had to help repair equipment, but decided she really did not want to know. Kim would more than likely tell her something like she gave it away to a homeless person on the street or bought a group of kids candy. Saving money or spending it selfishly never seemed to cross Kim’s mind.

“Just don’t let that kid try anything,” the raven-haired female commanded.

“Josh knows better and you know I’m not going to let him do anything. You do let Drakken try something,” the eccentric hero remarked.

“He’s not smart enough to try something,” Shego replied and Kim yielded with a shrug and a smile. 

-8-8-8-8-

As Shego guessed, dinner consisted of going to a seafood restaurant. It was like he was trying to see how many times he could take her to a seafood place before she threw up uncontrollably right at the table. It was a moderate restaurant and Shego settled on shrimp as usual. She was glad that she did not put on a really nice outfit.

Drakken yakked the night away as he generally did, bringing up that he got offered a job on a government project. The martial artist was not really listening to him prattle on as she generally did when he started up. After they finished the main course, they ordered desserts. While waiting for the desserts to arrive, Drakken suggested that they exchange gifts. Shego shrugged; it was not like it was a bad idea.

They swapped boxes. Shego noticed that once again her boyfriend was presenting her with a small jewelry box. Drakken opened his gift first to see that she had gotten him a brand new and rather expensive watch. He did not seem to care much about the present, not even bothering to try it on, but she decided against being insulted by that. She noticed that he was focused solely on her for once. She decided to open her box and she saw that there was ring inside. Her heart stopped working as soon as her eyes caught sight of it.

“This is pretty nice, Shego. So, does the ring fit?” Drakken asked eagerly seconds after she opened the case.

“The ring fit?” she echoed in a puzzled tone. She actually had a more pressing question and that was what finger was she expected to put the damn thing on? She gulped and pulled the ring out of the box while trying to will her lungs to work properly because she was fighting off the plan of suffocating, which her body seemed to be trying to do. She tried the ring on her middle finger and found that the simple gold band with a diamond in the middle fit rather well right there. She silently refused to try it on any other finger.

“Oh, it doesn’t fit on the other finger? Oh, well, we can have it adjusted. Your hands are smaller than I thought,” the sky-colored male commented.

The other finger, her mind echoed. What other finger? He could not mean her ring finger, right? No, he did not mean … No, he did not even ask _the_ question, her mind pointed out. Maybe he just assumed that she would agree, she considered. They had been together for longer than a couple of years, not counting their on and off relationship before he moved to Go City, without any major incidents, meaning she had not tried to murder him. She considered that an accomplishment. So, it would have been a safe assumption on his part that she would marry him without him having to ask. Well, maybe it would have been a safe assumption, maybe.

She was not so sure that she would have agreed to marry him if he had asked _the_ question. She probably would have looked at him as if he was a moron if he had bothered to ask. Why the hell did he not ask the question if that was what he was getting at? She did not even want to think about that, but since he had put it out there, it did lead to another question in her mind. Did she really want to spend the rest of life with him? She was not so sure because she had never thought about.

“At least it fits on a finger. I guess that’s a start. It looks nice, doesn’t it?” Drakken asked; he was obviously proud of himself.

“Yeah,” she muttered. But, what was it for? The important thing was what it was for. She thought that she might be jumping to conclusions. He could just be giving her a ring as a gift and nothing more. It might not mean anything.

“I suppose now we’ll have to set a date,” he said with a proud smile on his face.

 _Holy shit! Holy fucking shit_ , her brain screamed and she was very close to hollering it out loud, but she held her tongue. He was talking about getting married! It was a proposal. The two of them getting married, getting married to each other. Oh, boy, oh, boy, she was in a bit of a spot. Now, she could not take the ring off and decline his proposal because that would just be out and out rude and wrong. It would hurt his feelings and led to a million other problems with him whining and other things. _What the hell kind of guy just assumed that his girlfriend wants to get married, anyway?!_  

-8-8-8-8-

Shego sat up in bed, smoking her third cigarette of the night in the past hour. She was in a thinking position because she had a lot on her mind thanks to a very surprising Valentine’s Day. She truly despised surprises. They were maddening.

Did she want to go to sleep next to Drakken every night, the pale woman asked herself at least a dozen times. Did she really want up next to him every morning? Make him breakfast and dinner? Listen to him rant and rave? Watch movies with him? Then she realized that she could not even watch movies with him.

Drakken did not understand many films for whatever reason or just did not find them entertaining for whatever reason. Even if he did watch the types of movies that she did, he was mostly into slapstick comedy, which was not her favorite genre. She still would not be able to relax around him like she usually did with her pet. Oh, no, her pet.

If she married Drakken, she would not be able to keep her pet. She doubted that it would go over well with the cerulean scientist if she requested that her impish monster stay with them. She could just hear herself, “Drakken, do you mind if I take my pet?” And then she would have to explain that her pet was a twenty-one year old girl, whom he believed was her cousin and the girl would more than likely want to sleep next to her in the bed every night while being cuddled. Yeah, that would go over well, she thought sarcastically.

She would not be able to keep her pet if she got married. But, she wanted her pet. She had kept her little monster for so long because she wanted the olive-eyed girl. She had taken care of the girl for so long because she wanted her. She had spoiled her pet for as long as she had because she wanted her pet.

But, then her mind posed the counterargument to that. She reasoned that she must have wanted Drakken. She kept him around just as long as she had her pet, even longer since she had given the girl up for a little while and she had been in something like a relationship with Drakken before he moved to Go City. So, was it not possible to say that she wanted him just as much as she wanted her pet?

She asked herself the question that she was aware it would all boil down to, which was who did she want more in her life, Drakken or her little brat? After that thought entered her mind, she considered that she might need another cigarette. She might have to just smoke the whole pack. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: to answer the question that is on her mind, Shego decides to conduct an experiment and the next chapter is the first part of that experiment. What’s the experiment all about?


	24. Dilemma Twenty-four: Snowballing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own the characters and I don’t own the premise. I also don’t own Young Frankenstein.

Dilemma Twenty-four: Snowballing

_My mistress hasn’t been looking too happy lately. I don’t know why, but being a good pet, I do try to cheer her up. She smiles when I’m there, but when I go and she doesn’t know that I’m looking, she goes back to looking sad or puzzled. I wonder what happened, but I don’t think she’s going to tell me._

Shego stared down at the gold ring on her middle finger on her left hand with a frown on her face. It was like she was wishing the ring would disappear without causing her any grief. She could not believe the perplexing and slightly frustrating situation that she was in at the moment. She did not know what to do. She pulled out her cell phone and called her mother up, which a clear sign that she was confused in her opinion. 

“Hello, sweetie,” Isabel answered the phone. Shego hated how happy her mother sounded to hear from her.

“Mommy, I need a weekend getaway,” Shego informed her mother. She figured that if she cut to the chase, she could quickly get off the phone with the woman before she said something annoying.

“Isolated or vacation spot?”

“Isolated sounds about right.”

“Well, I know I couple of places,” Isabel answered modestly. “What kind of climate are you looking for?”

“You know it doesn’t matter to me.”

“But, it may matter to the company you’re keeping,” her mother pointed out.

Shego frowned because the getaway _would_ matter to the person that she was with. She just wanted something to allow her a chance to conduct a simple scientific experiment. Well, she hoped that it was simple anyway. Her mother had complicated matters by making her take other things into consideration.

“I just want some place cozy and out of the way,” the green-hued woman informed her mother, who took a moment to think things over.

“I’ve got an adorable place for when I want to go skiing. It’s cozy and out of the way. Good enough?” Isabel inquired.

“Sounds good.”

“I’m sure Pumpkin will enjoy it,” Isabel commented in quite the amused voice.

“Mommy.”

“Fine,” the older woman conceded. She just thought that her daughter and Kim together were so utterly cute. She did not care that they were not a traditional couple in any way. They were still so sickeningly adorable together, especially when her daughter did things for her little pet.

“Is it that the place you took me when I was like seven?” Shego asked curiously.

“Yes, I’m stunned you remember that. I would have thought you’d repress that memory. I did think you were traumatized by the trip,” her mother answered.

“It’ll take more than a damn rock, a fucking tree, and an avalanche to traumatize me,” the officer declared.

“I thought it was the bear that did you in.”

“You’d think the bastards would be asleep in such cold weather.”

“Well, I suppose we all learned a lesson that day,” Isabel stated.

“All? It was just you and me.”

“I’m sure that bear learned not to mess with us.”

Shego laughed a bit and nodded. “If anybody was traumatized, it was probably him.”

“Right, so feel free to use that place. It should be in order and everything. In fact, I’ll call some people and make sure that everything’s perfect by the time you get there. When do you want it?”

“This weekend and next.”

“Oh. All right.”

“Don’t make that noise,” Shego ordered her mother.

“What noise?” 

“That ‘oh’ sound like you know what I’m going to do,” the green-skinned female replied.

“Fine,” Isabel sighed as she yielded once again. “But, I do know,” she boasted and then she disconnected the call.

“Damn it,” Shego cursed. Her mother could be rather immature if given the chance. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego and Kim arrived at the little, out-of-the-way cottage in the mountains. It was made for one or two people, but any more people would have more than likely been seen as a crowd. It was the size of a moderate apartment with one large bedroom, a small kitchen, a carpeted living room with a fireplace, and a flat screen television. There was an enclosed patio in the back with a hot tub. Shego could already guess that her elf was going to go mad when she saw that.

“Wow, we’re going to be staying here by ourselves for the whole weekend?” the petite hero asked as she scanned the tiny house.

There was a small bookshelf by the glass doors that led to the backyard, which Kim went directly to. She noted that all of the books were martial arts’ manuals. A few of the books were the same as at her master’s house.

“Yes, we’re here for the whole weekend by ourselves,” Shego answered plainly. 

The slender adventurer grinned widely and wondered what to do first. She was so overwhelmed by the notion of being there for the weekend with her master and no one around to interrupt that time together that she could not even think for a moment. No dirty ideas came to mind, no thoughts of touching her master inappropriately, no notions cuddling with her mistress, or even plans of playing in the snow. Her whole brain just cut off. 

“Princess, you okay?” Shego asked because of the blank look in the girl’s face.

“I think so. What’ll we do first?” Kim inquired in a whisper. It was all she could manage for the moment. It was as if she thought that if she spoke any louder, she would wake up from what she believed to be an obvious dream.

“Put our things away,” the older woman answered.

“Right,” the redhead muttered. While it was not fun, it made sense. “But, what about after that?” she asked with a wide grin. Shego rolled her eyes, but could not stop a small smile from creeping onto her face. 

-8-8-8-8-

By the time the pair got settled in, it was too dark to get in any skiing or snowboarding, which they both figured they could do tomorrow. Kim decided to look through some of the books while Shego looked around the kitchen to see what there was to make for dinner. The kitchen was stocked and she could prepare just about anything for their evening meal.

“Pumpkin, what do you want to eat?” Shego asked, even though she knew the answer to that question. It was a no-brainer when it came to her pet.

“Pasta,” the olive-eyed girl answered.

“Of course,” the elder female sighed. “What if there isn’t any pasta?” 

“I’d still want pasta. It just would mean I’m not getting any.”

The green-skinned woman chuckled and decided that she would make pasta just because of that answer. _This girl’s just too much sometimes_. But, of course, that was one of the most endearing things about Kim. Shego served her imp dinner and found the girl watching a black and white movie on television. She sat down on the sofa and looked at the movie.

“What’s this?” Shego asked.

“Young Frankenstein,” Kim answered while digging into the lasagna that her master’s whipped up. She then took a bit out of the toasted bread with butter that was served with the pasta. 

“Young what?”

“Young Frankenstein. It’s a movie by Mel Brooks. You’ve never seen it?” the redhead asked as if she could not believe it. She had seen the movie at least a thousand times thanks to Ron. The boy was into comedies, no matter how old they were. Young Frankenstein was not actually as old as the lack of color would lead one to believe. It just added to the flavor of the very funny movie as far as Kim was concerned.

“No, I’ve never seen it,” Shego confirmed. 

“Well, you’re seeing it now. Hey, can we do a fire in the fireplace? Please?” Kim requested with a smile. 

“Having a deluded fantasy already, huh?” the raven-haired female commented with a teasing look in her emerald eyes.

“My mind hasn’t even gone there. So, where’s your head at, mistress?” the redhead taunted her owner. She purred at the end of the word “mistress” and then smirked in a seductive, yet still innocent manner. She had her head turned to where her hair was falling over her shoulder and she looked like an enticing siren calling Shego to her doom.

“I’ll start a fire after dinner,” the pale woman replied while trying her best to ignore her pet’s expression and question, both of which sent an unfamiliar tingle down her spine. Sheer willpower kept her from acknowledging how the hero was trying to beacon her.

Kim’s smile turned into a grin; from sultry temptress to gleeful pet in two seconds flat. It was uncanny. It even unnerved her alluring master and Shego was nowhere near new to the art of charming people. At the rate things were going, it probably did not need to be any hotter in the house.

“Hey, what’s outside those doors?” the slender adventure asked while pointing to the glass doors at the back. 

“Nothing, so stay away from there,” the emerald-eyed female answered.

“Something,” the girl insisted.

“Nothing.”

“Something fun,” Kim gathered since her owner was trying to discourage her from going to explore the place. 

“Something for you to leave alone,” the green-skinned woman ordered.

“I knew it!” the hero grinned.

Kim would go see what was in the back as soon as she was finished with her meal, she decided because it had to be something slamming out in the back. When Kim’s plate was clear, she hopped up to put the dish in the sink and then she started toward the doors like it was nothing, even though she knew that her owner did not want her over there. It was so interesting because her master did not want her there and she was not always the best-behaved pet. Shego noticed the moves that her monster was planning to make.

“Hey, step away from the deck,” the officer called to her mischievous pet, who did not pay her any mind. She opened the doors to find out what was supposed to be hidden from her.

“Whoa,” Kim muttered when she caught sight of the hot tub. “We have got to get in,” she decided right then and there. She turned away from the doors and went to get their things.

“What the hell are you doing?” the pale woman demanded, glaring at her rather bad girl. Could her brat be anymore of a busybody? _She’s such a disobedient and bothersome brat_ , the mistress silently huffed.

“Bathing suits.”

“For what?”

“We’re getting in the Jacuzzi,” the younger woman said in a “duh” type of voice.

“No, we’re not. So, come on back out here and finish watching your movie,” Shego commanded, pointing to the place where the redhead had been sitting.

“But—” Kim whimpered the word, but did not get the chance to finish whining.

“Sit,” Shego ordered in a forceful tone.

The redhead pouted and went back to her seat. She sulked while watching the movie. She, of course, gained no sympathy from her hard-shelled master. The emerald-eyed female got up and did the few dishes that were left over from their meal. She fixed herself and her pet some ice cream for dessert. Kim still moped while eating her ice cream, trying to pretend that it pained her to have the sweets. Shego shook her head; could her pet be anymore of a brat?

“We’ll use the Jacuzzi tomorrow,” the green-hued woman stated.

“Huh?” the olive-eyed girl asked because she was caught off guard.

“After a long day of snowboarding, we’ll relax in the Jacuzzi.”

“And what about tonight? Why can’t we do it both days?”

“You just have to whine about everything, don’t you?” Shego countered. 

“If I say yes, can we get into the hot tub?”

“No.”

Kim continued pouting, even though she was certain that it would not get her anywhere. She would have thrown a tantrum, but she had ice cream to eat. Shego ignored her moping imp and finished off her ice cream. She then threw a log in the fireplace as promised and started a nice fire. She retrieved a quilt from the linen closet and placed it on the sofa. Kim wondered what her mistress was up to.

The redhead busied herself by watching the movie and before she knew it, her owner was in her pajamas. She checked the time and saw that it was rather late at night, so she went and took a shower. She changed into her pajamas and when she came back out into the living room, Shego was curled up in the quilt in front of the fire. Kim’s brain did not even have to dish out any orders. Her legs automatically knew to go right to her mistress.

Shego did not say anything when her little monster came up to her and held open the blanket to let her pet in. Kim immediately curled up next to the green-skinned woman. She then turned her attention to the television while Shego rested her head on top of her pet’s head. They were silent for a long while.

“So, what now?” Kim asked.

“Watch the movie,” Shego answered in a whisper. The film that Kim had originally been watching had gone off, but it was followed by another classic comedy.

“We could’ve done this at home,” the petite hero pointed out.

“By a roaring fire?”

“Okay, fine, you got me there. Did you used to come here like for vacation or something?” Kim asked curiously.

“Or something.”

“What did you used to do here?”

“Well, at night, after being chased by very angry bears, my mother usually told me ghost stories, as if being chased by bears wasn’t scary enough,” the emerald-eyed officer remarked.

“Tell me one,” the girl requested.

“Tell you one what?”

“A ghost story.”

“You mean to tell me that you can tolerate ghost stories, but you can’t take a horror movie?” Shego inquired in disbelief.

“Well, I think I can take a ghost story. It can’t be _that_ bad.”

“You think?”

“I’m pretty sure I can.”

Shego shook her head and turned off the television while she tried to think of a nice and scary story to tell her runt. One immediately came to mind that involved werewolves. Her mother always told her stories with werewolves in them for some reason, but they were always detailed and eerie. She noticed that her girl did not seem too frightened by the story, so she switched in mid-tale to a much more bone-chilling account of another tale, still keeping with the werewolves.

Kim did not notice the change, except for the fact that things were getting creepier by the second as the story continued on. She eventually latched on tightly to her owner. She felt safe holding onto the older woman, even though it was her mistress that was terrifying her senseless. There was just something secure about Shego, for Kim anyway.

“Want to hear another one?” Shego asked with a taunting smirk on her face once she finished her account. Kim was now under the blanket completely and had her head hidden in Shego’s side.

“Can we just roast some marshmallows instead?” the redhead requested. She would be lucky if she would be able to sleep for the rest of her life thanks to that story. It did not help matters that her keeper made it sound so very true and, yes, she knew that werewolves were not real, but it felt like they were just a stand in for something equally horrible.

“You’re such a little coward. I’ll tell you another one while we roast some marshmallows,” the older woman stated.

“No!” the slim adventurer whined. She definitely did not want to hear another story. Shego was much too good a storyteller. She was more vivid than television. It was bad enough that she was never going to be able to sleep again. She thought that if she heard another tale, she would have to have the light on for the rest of her life, too.

The law enforcer got up from the warm space on the floor and retrieved some marshmallows for them to cook over the fire in the fireplace. She cuddled back up to the redhead in the blanket and while Kim set fire to both of their marshmallows, she started a new ghost story. The olive-eyed girl distracted her keeper from the story for brief moments by purposely setting her marshmallows on fire and then knocking her flaming sweets into Shego’s, making it catch fire, too.

“You think you’re clever, don’t you?” Shego asked as she blew out her tenth marshmallow.

“I’ve got a certificate that says so,” Kim answered with an elfish smile.

“I bet you do. Ready to go to bed?” 

“I guess,” Kim yawned. She was going to have nightmares thanks to those stories, but she was a bit tired.

Shego rose to her feet and Kim followed suit. The elder female folded up the quilt that they had been wrapped in. She pointed her pet in the direction of the bedroom while she returned the blanket to the closet.

Kim had noticed that there was only one bedroom when they arrived. She had not said anything and she wondered what her mistress had in store. She doubted that it was going to be something fun. They were probably just going to sleep, she thought. How extremely dull and a bit of a tease in her opinion for her mistress to take her some place for the weekend with only one bed and all they were going to do was sleep.

The redhead trotted into the room and crawled into the large, king-sized bed. She felt the smooth, perfect dark blue sheets and sighed while willing her brain not to think of anything dirty. It was an extremely difficult thing to do. She told herself that it would be just like at home when she slept in the same bed as Shego. Although at home, the sheets were black and considerably less tantalizing. The sheets did get her to stop thinking about those ghost stories, though.

Shego turned out the lights around the little house and then went into the bedroom. She took the side next to the window, just like she did at home. It was partly a defensive move from when she was little. When she was a child, the horrors that came in from the door were worst than anything she could imagine coming in from the window. To her, the twins were worse than any murderer that might get in. It was also because sometimes, she got overheated and when she opened the window, she liked the breeze to blow right on her.

The pale woman settled down on the sheets and immediately noticed that they were better than the ones that she had at home. She wondered what the thread count was. She had to remember to ask her mother what kind of material the sheets were made of and where she bought them. Her pillows were not even as good as the ones in the cottage. Part of her suspected that her mother had purposely put such lovely sheets on the bed as an attempt to start trouble. _Well, she went through all of that trouble for nothing_ _if that was the case_. It was not going to work. At least the woman had not been blatant about things and just put satin on the bed or something equally ridiculous.

Shego glanced over at her pet, who was moving around the big bed. The girl was trying to get comfortable. It was actually just too much space for Kim. Her resting place at home was about the size of a twin-sized mattress and Shego’s bed was a queen-size. There was just too much bed for the hero.

“Stop it,” Shego ordered. 

“What did I do?” Kim asked.

“All of that moving around.”

“I’m trying to get comfortable,” the olive-eyed girl explained.

“Yeah, but you’re bugging the hell out of me.”

“All right.”

Kim wiggled around a little bit more, ending up very close to Shego, but not touching her. She then put a pillow between herself and the edge of the bed to give her the illusion for a border, making it seem like there was less space than there was. Shego watched and wondered what her shrimp was doing, but it became apparent after a few minutes after Kim put her boundary up. The redhead easily fell asleep once she restricted her space.

The green-skinned woman stayed awake and stared at her girl, waiting to see if she was truly asleep. She did expect the redhead to snake over to her side and try something mischievous like molesting the older woman, but Kim appeared to be out like she usually was. Shego eventually fell asleep since her impish monster was sleeping. 

-8-8-8-8-

The raven-haired woman woke up because she could hear and practically sense movement rumbling around the bedroom. She opened one jade eye because she knew that her pet was the one making all of that noise. She just wanted a halfway decent view of the troublemaking imp to get off a good shot. As soon as her vision focused, her runt was going to be ash.

Shego took aim at Kim and then noticed what the girl was doing. The loopy kid was pulling out her snowboarding equipment. Apparently, her pet was eager to hit the slopes. Shego shook her head and yawned while lowering her potentially harmful fingers. She supposed that some things were just too adorable to shoot.

“What are you doing?” the pale woman inquired.

“Oh, you’re up. Come on, get dressed,” Kim urged her mistress. She was willing to bet that the whole day was going to be spectacular.

“Excuse me?”

“Get dressed. Let’s go,” the redhead said with a bright smile; one that no one should have so early in the morning in her master’s opinion.

“Pumpkin, there are several things wrong with what you just said. Tell me what they are now,” Shego ordered, but it sounded like she was making a request.

Kim thought on the answers for a moment. “I’m ordering you around?” she guessed, even though that one seemed pretty easy to her. 

“That would be one. A big one. Next one.”

“I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, so I can’t go anywhere.” That one was rather easy too after she remembered the rules that governed her whole existence while she lived in Shego’s universe. She was supposed to always have breakfast before starting her day. If she did not, it angered her master and caused her to be reprimanded and occasionally punished.

“That’s two. There’s another one.”

“Hmm…” Kim thought harder, tapping her finger to her chin for a couple of seconds. “I woke you up!” she realized with misplaced enthusiasm. She just liked getting right answers, especially when she was speaking with her owner.

“Bingo. Now, calm down. I’m going to make breakfast.”

“Pancakes?” Kim hoped. 

“Sure.”

“And then we’ll go?”

“Sure.”

“Yes!” Kim cheered. Pancakes and snowboarding, it was going to be a great day. She was certain of that. 

-8-8-8-8-

The pair spent the whole day snowboarding. Kim slipped out of her role as a submissive pet for a bit by challenging her mistress to a race every time they went down a slope. She later supposed it was a bit all right since she was playful when it came to her mistress, anyway. Shego readily accepted each challenge and discovered her slender monster to be a rival in athletics. They raced the whole day with Kim winning the majority of the races, much to her owner’s horror.

The slim hero did not boast about her wins and Shego knew that her pet was modest by nature, so she did not mind losing as much as she typically would have if her girl did brag. It was an all right day, despite the fact that she had lost so many races to her nutty imp. As they were heading back to the house, the sun was setting and Shego reached out and petted the hero’s red mane.

“What’s that for?” Kim asked with a smile. She genuinely loved getting attention from the older woman.

“Nothing. You’re just a good girl,” Shego replied.

Of course, such praise made Kim smile even brighter. “Okay. So, we’ll do the Jacuzzi, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll get into the Jacuzzi.”

“And we’ll have hot chocolate by the fire after that?” the redhead requested with a sparkle in her eyes.

“Sure,” Shego sighed. How could she think to say anything else with her monster looking at her with that cute expression?

“I can cuddle up to you in bed?”

“You’re trying too hard now,” the pale woman replied. The expression was not _that_ cute.

“I had to try.”

Shego chuckled in spite of herself. “I bet you did.”

Kim smiled and when they got back to the house, they changed clothes for a dip into the hot tub. Shego had on a thin bikini, which was green and black as to be expected. The younger woman had on a bikini, too; hers was a mix of pinks and reds.

It did not occur to Kim to gawk at her master’s curvaceous figure. She was just happy to be relaxing with Shego as usual. Maybe if they were different, Kim would have told Shego just how beautiful she was, just how perfect she was. But, she could not say that, any of it. It would anger her owner and spoil the day, even though she would have been being sincere and Shego would know that. She did not understand why her mistress did not want such words to come from her.

Kim wondered what Drakken said to her master when they were alone. Was he smart enough to whisper just how drop dead gorgeous Shego was? Was he intelligent enough to let her know how much he wanted and needed her? Did he let her know how lucky he felt to have her? Did she like to hear such things from him? Was he allowed to worship her with adoring words and revering touches? What made it all right for him to praise her with delighted, venerating kisses?

“Princess, you okay?” Shego inquired, throwing off Kim’s thoughts.

“I’m fine. Just daydreaming,” the girl answered in a slightly subdued tone.

“You wanted to get in this thing to daydream?” the super-powered woman asked in a slightly irked tone. 

“No. I just glanced at the sky and got lost in the stars,” the slim hero lied.

Shego knew that her pet was not telling the truth just for the simple fact that she did not think that girl was a very good liar. Also, her monster had never tilted her head up in the slightest to even glance at the sky. She wondered what was going on in her imp’s head. She was aware that Kim would have openly and eagerly shared a pornographic fantasy if that had been running through her mind, so Shego knew that was not it. So, what was going on in her brat’s head?

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the green-skinned woman asked.

“Yeah, I was just … daydreaming is all,” Kim lied again. She was merely plaguing her own mind and tormenting her soul.

“About?”

“Nothing.”

Shego did not know what to say. She was not sure why her pet was being so closed off. She would have thought that the trim girl would be grinning like she had just inherited a million dollars with everything that had happened. After all, they were together in a hot tub, just like the olive-eyed girl wanted. They had gone snowboarding and Kim had kicked her butt in about two out of every three races that they had, maybe even more than that. They had fun, so why was her munchkin acting so down and out?

“Pumpkin, if there’s something on your mind, you can tell me,” Shego said. After all, she told her pet everything, especially when something was bothering her. In fact, she had come home countless times and complained to her pet about the idiots at work, or the stupid criminals out there, or how Drakken had done something so imbecilic that it was unbelievable. She would not be surprised if her girl was stressed out just from the things that she unloaded on her pet.

“I’m okay,” Kim forced out a grin. She then splashed her mistress to show that she was in a playful mood.

Shego laughed and splashed the redhead back. They had a water fight in the hot tub as if it were a pool. The older woman even held her pet’s head under water for almost twenty seconds. She figured that the little hero would be able to stand the length of time easily and she was right. Kim’s means of escaping was to grab her master’s lower covering and began to pull down. Shego freaked.

“You little pervert!” Shego barked while finally letting her pet up. Kim caught her breath and laughed loudly and wholeheartedly. Shego fixed her bathing suit and then she noticed her imp smiling widely as if she was proud of what she had done. “Don’t make me kill you,” the raven-haired woman threatened her girl.

“I didn’t see anything!” Kim said with a huge, mischievous grin. “Well, I didn’t see much,” she amended her statement and she smirked.

“That’s it!” Shego launched herself at her perverted elf.

-8-8-8-8-

Kim sat up in bed. Her questions from earlier were still plaguing her mind and she could not sleep because of them. What did Drakken do that gave him the right to say the things that she could not when it came to her mistress? What gave him the right to do the things that she could not? Maybe he did not have that right, but she refused to believe that. He was Shego’s lover. He had that right, but she doubted that the man exercised it. If only she had that right, Kim thought. _If only_.

Shego was lying in bed, awake. She wondered what was bothering her pet. She had no idea what changed the girl’s happy-go-lucky attitude to having her brood over a subject that she did not wish to discuss. She knew that she would remain awake for as long as the redhead remained sitting up, so there was only one thing to do. She was going to have to make the younger woman lay down.

The pale female grabbed Kim around the shoulders and gently tugged her down to the warm sheets. She pressed herself into Kim’s back to help relax the girl. The slim hero was surprised by the older woman’s actions and she did relax from being in her mistress’ arms.

The redhead still could not help thinking if only. If only they were lying together as equals. If only she had that right. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the second part of the experiment. Wonder what happens then and what it involves. Unfortunately, it involves Drakken.


	25. Dilemma Twenty-five: Control Group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

Dilemma Twenty-five: Control Group

_Okay, I admit that I had a lot of fun with my little monster last weekend. I mean, it was almost perfect. I’m not even mad about how she tried to pull my swimsuit down. I guess she’s just too cute to be mad at. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up about this weekend, but how much can he screw up in one weekend? I mean, it’s just one fucking weekend._

Kim was left at home while her mistress went out for a weekend getaway with Drakken. The redhead was rather curious as to why Shego would do such a thing, especially since she had just had a weekend getaway with her pet. It was very odd in her opinion.

“Why would Shego go out two weekends in a row? Actually, why would she go with me one weekend and then Drakken the next? I mean, I know what it looks like, but is that really what it is? Could it be anything else?” Kim wondered. Her mathematic and scientific mind was screaming experiment like it was the only word that she knew for the simple fact that it was the only reason that she could think of to rationalize things. It could possibly to be a compare and contrast mission of some kind, her mind decided without her permission.

But, the redhead tried to argue with her scientific self and pointed out that she had no idea what kind of experiment Shego could be trying to conduct by going out with her one week and then going out with Drakken the next. It might be a comparison, her mind offered again, which Kim could believe, but there were problems with that. There were plenty of problems with that, actually.

“How could or would Shego compare me with Drakken? I mean, that’s way apples and oranges. It’s like comparing two colors, like blue to red. There’s no scientific way to measure the two. I’m her pet and Drakken’s her boyfriend. Never do the two meet. Right?” So, why else might Shego go out with her one weekend and then go out with Drakken the next?

The hero could not think of the answer to that question. Was the trip that her master took with her for fun and her current trip with Drakken for pleasure? She could not and refused to try to picture Drakken pleasing her owner. It did not seem plausible in any way, shape, or form. So, she tried to stop thinking about it before she traveled down a road that she really did not want to go down. In fact, if she kept thinking about it, she might make herself vomit anyway.

“Better go find something to do before I let my boredom drive me nuts,” Kim decided.

-8-8-8-8-

Shego and Drakken arrived at the small house in the mountains that she had just been to last week with her excitable monster. All evidence that she and Kim had been there was gone. She would not be surprised if her mother had forensic teams sweep the place and try to find proof that she and her pet had any sort of intimate contact. She could only hope that the woman did not have cameras set up around the house. She was upset that she had not thought to check for surveillance equipment the last time that she was at the house. It was a good thing that she and Kim did not have a sexual relationship, she thought.

“This is an interesting little place here,” the cerulean inventor commented as they entered the small house.

“Yeah, I guess,” Shego replied. She did not see what was so interesting about the look of the place. It did have a fascinating history behind it being one of her mother’s many “safe houses.” Her mother had several little getaway spots tucked away all over the world. She had been to about a dozen in her lifetime.

“Is this a timeshare?” he inquired.

“Something like that,” she answered. Her mother owned the place, but Shego could go to the house anytime that she felt like it. Well, except for if her mother was there and in a “mood.”

There was a certain mood that her mother got into every so often where she just wanted to be left alone for a few days to a couple of weeks. If anyone dared to try to interact with her in that time, Isabel would come very close to literally biting the person’s head off, even her beloved daughter. Shego knew that was the stress of her mother’s life. She tended to blame it on her father, even though her mother had never said that he was the cause. Her mother was also an active woman, so her life had to get stressful at times, but Shego still believed that it was her father mostly that bothered her mother. 

“So, where do I stay?” Drakken asked while looking around the place.

“There’s only one bedroom. It’s right over there.” Shego directed his attention to the second door on their left while trying to ignore the fact that he had just asked a very stupid question. Even her pet had not thought to ask where she would stay and her brat was not supposed to expect to share the bed.

“Oh. So, there’s only one bed?” he guessed.

“Probably,” she answered with a teasing smirk. She wondered if he was going to ask a follow-up idiotic question. 

“Oh,” he said as if he was surprised by the fact.

“What are you oh-ing? You act like you don’t sleep next to me almost once a week,” the pale woman commented in a slightly irked tone.

They had barely been in the house for thirty seconds and he was already tap dancing on her nerves. At the rate he was going, she was pretty sure that she was going to have to punch him sooner or later to relieve some frustration. Of course, if things came to that, she would have an answer to her musings.

“Oh, well, yes…” he trailed off, glancing away as if he were troubled.

“If you want to sleep on the floor or the sofa, though, be my guest,” she remarked while motioning to the living room.

Shego did not really care what his problem was with suddenly sharing a bed. A little voice in the back of her mind pointed out that her little imp certainly had not minded sleeping next to her; not that her monster ever did mind. Her pet welcomed the excuse, she knew that and maybe, just maybe, she did not mind giving the olive-eyed girl the excuse. Sometimes, it was nice to hold onto the girl while sleeping, she thought for a moment and then she shook that thought away.

The green-skinned woman went to put her bag away in the bedroom while Drakken seemed to be stuck on stupid. She then checked the time and decided that she might as well start dinner. At least she would not have to make pasta, but the trip was still trying so far and it had only just got started.

The raven-haired female tried not to think about the drive up to the mountains because that was just about the most irksome thing that she had ever seen subjected to. Drakken knew how to work her nerves, especially unintentionally. The man’s ego was so massive that he just assumed everyone, including her, wanted to hear every little brain fart that his mind had.

It did not help matters that they were in a tiny space and she was the one driving, so she could not even go to sleep. He had droned on and on about some hack in the lab, a little guy named Dementor or something like that, who had been getting in his way. He had yakked about that one guy for over five hours, so for the whole drive, all she could do was recall that the ride up to the house with her runt had not even been a fraction as painful and annoying as the one with Drakken. The worst part about it was that when she told Drakken to just shut up, he looked at her like she was crazy one and then went right back to his rambling.

“So, Shego, what are we going to do here?” the blue doctor asked.

“We could do some boarding,” she replied. She bet that he was the only man on the planet that would think to ask his girlfriend what they were going to do in a secluded place in the mountains. He was a sad, sad little man, she thought.

“Boarding?” he echoed. 

“Snowboarding. You don’t know how, do you?” she inquired as if she was taunting him. She smirked just to be mean and get him rattled.

“Of course I know how!” he huffed. How hard could it be for someone of his genius anyway?

“Okay, so tomorrow we’ll go do some boarding,” she informed him with an evil smile. He did not take it as a warning as he should have.

“And what about tonight?” he asked curiously.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” she countered. She had not thought of anything to do.

When Shego had gone up to the mountains with Kim, the redhead took care of all of the activity thinking. All she had to do was shut down ideas or put them in a doable order. If it were up to her pet, she thought that they would have been doing everything possible all at once. She knew that if her pet were in Drakken’s place and also not her pet, she would have had plenty of other ideas on what to do the night they arrived. Hey, had Kim been in Drakken’s place, they probably would not have done any snowboarding.

“I don’t know. You dragged me here with nothing to do,” Drakken whined, balling his hands into tiny fists.

“There’s plenty to do,” the pale woman argued. She had done plenty last week, so she knew for a fact that there was plenty to do. She just was not going to suggest any of them.

The sky-skinned male merely huffed again. She did not continue the dispute because she just did not feel like bothering with him anymore and focused on making dinner while he quietly seethed. They had been in the house for all of twenty minutes and Shego could ready tell the results of the experiment, but she decided to give Drakken the benefit of the doubt. He had that day and all of the next to prove her wrong. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim lounged on the sofa at home with a box of pizza next to her and a bottle of soda. She was searching for something to watch on television because she did not have anything better to do. Well, no, that was inaccurate. She just did not feel like doing anything else. She did not want to move at all.

She was thankful that Wade had not called her with any sort of mission. She just did not feel like going out to do anything, even save the world. In fact, the world might have to fend for itself if Wade did call her up. The only thing that she wanted to do was sit on the sofa and eat pizza.

Ron and Yori had invited the redhead out for some more Mexican/Japanese food. Kim could not even understand why the couple would do that to themselves again. Some foods just were not meant to go together. Yori actually agreed with her, but the restaurant was Ron’s second favorite in town. Of course, there was no restaurant in the world that would replace Bueno Nacho in the blond’s heart. Obviously, the ninja cared a great deal for her boyfriend to be able to sit through watching him have burritos and tempura. Kim knew that she would never be able to do that again.

Monique had also invited Kim to go out clubbing with her and Felix, but she declined on that offer also. It was just too much movement as far as she was concerned at the moment. She was not in the mood to party either.

The petite hero knew that her friends did not want her to get lonely while she was on her own, but it was only for a couple of days. She could handle that. It was not like she needed to be around her owner all of the time. Besides, it was probably a good thing for to be alone for a while to remember that she was not really a pet, or at least that she was a human being.

She needed some downtime to reflect on some things anyway, she told herself. What was she doing, she asked herself several times. She asked herself what she was doing now. What was going on?

“Just what the hell am I doing?”

Kim had no idea what she was doing at the moment and she was not even sure what she meant by that. _I am way confused_ , she realized. She was puzzled by the new thoughts that were creeping into her head like ants invading a merry picnic. The new nature that was threatening to overcome her as it came into being was so very bemusing to her.

“I feel like I’m out at sea with no sign of land, but I know which directions to swim in to keep from panicking,” she mumbled. Unfortunately, she did not feel like she would make, no matter what direction she took.

Her feelings were due to her thinking about her relationship with Shego and Drakken’s relationship with Shego. She was still thinking about the questions that had been on her mind on the trip last weekend and the strange fact her mistress had gone on a trip with the blue dolt. She allowed those things to plague her. It seemed that she wanted those things to bother her because she was not trying to do anything to avoid pondering the issues. She figured that maybe if she thought on the issues long enough, she might come up with a solution of some kind or an answer.

The eccentric hero’s contentment was slipping away from her, she was fairly certain of that. It was the only to explain why she kept thinking on the matters of her relationship with her mistress and that ocean-colored idiot’s relationship with the woman. Once upon a time, the relationship would not have been a blip in her mind, but now, it was practically haunting her.

She had been so content to be a pet. It was something that she was willing to be no matter how lowly it might sound because she brought Shego happiness, but her ease with her position seemed to be slipping away. Taking that trip with her mistress and then being left behind was bothering her. For some reason, she just did not feel like her master’s favorite like a pet should be. Then the worst notion of all hit her. 

“He’s winning,” she gasped. “He’s winning!”

She realized that no matter how great she was, he was still winning! He was always winning and she was not sure how to change that fact. All she knew was that in the war, the fight for her master’s heart, she was losing and she feared that she might lose point blank. As long as he was still in her mistress’ life, he would always be winning and she would always be losing because he would always come first. Maybe she was the favorite, but he was still first.

“Why?” she groaned while trying to maintain her composure. She wanted reasons to explain how it was feasible for him to be beating her.

Kim was certain that she was everything that her mistress required to be happy, yet her mistress did not seem to agree. It was not fair that she did all of that work relaxing Shego and Drakken was profiting from all of her effort. Whenever she did something, he was the one rewarded because her master was still with him.

“It was not fair,” the redhead lamented with a whimper. She should not be losing, but she was. And now that she realized all of that, all she could do was wonder how in the world she was going to win. All she could do was hope that her owner came to her senses one day. She could wait. She could, she assured herself.

“I will,” she promised herself. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego and Drakken were sitting in the living room of the small retreat and silently having dinner. They were watching some television program that Drakken selected. The pale woman was not really paying much attention. She was noting how Drakken was playing with his food. He did that often when she cooked for him. She tried not to think about what it implied, namely that he did not enjoy her cooking.

The super-powered female was certain of one thing in her life – besides the facts that she was damn sexy and very deadly – and that fact was that she could cook. She might not be as good a cook as she was a fighter, but she was above average. She knew that because her brothers gobbled down her cooking like it was great and they were used to top of the lines meals thanks to their mother. Her pet tended to act like her cooking was the best thing that she ever tasted. Kim had pointed out a few times that she had eaten plenty of different dishes made by plenty of different people, but her mistress was on her top ten list of great chefs. And as much crap as Betty popped, she never said anything about Shego’s cooking. Betty said something about everything else, but never her cooking and they both knew that the one-eyed woman was the better chef. So, Shego could cook.

“Do you want to start a fire?” Shego suggested because she knew that if she left things to the inventor, they would spend the weekend with him ranting.

“Why would I want to start a fire? It would burn the place down,” Drakken pointed out.

“In the fireplace, you mook,” she stated through gritted teeth. Could he possibly be anymore of an idiot? She doubted it. She wished that she had not suggested anything now. At least before he was being quiet and that might never happen again.

“Oh. Why would we want to do that?” he asked in a puzzled tone.

“What do you mean why would we want to do that?” she countered. Did he really not know anything at all? It was romantic to sit by a fire.

“It’s warm enough in here. We don’t need a fire. It would get too hot, wouldn’t it?” he reasoned.

“I doubt it,” she remarked and turned her attention back to her food. She tried not to think about what her pet was eating for her dinner. _Maybe I should call her and make sure she didn’t have cake and ice cream or something_. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego and Drakken prepared for bed. She was stunned that she had made it through the day without striking him from the way that he was getting on her nerves. The teal scientist took the side near the window. He always took the side by the window. She could not help thinking that he did such a thing to annoy her because it was working. She might still end up hitting him, she considered, unless he went to sleep very quickly.

She eased into the side by the door and she remembered how her little monster had put that pillow up as a border last weekend when she had been sleeping in the very same place. She almost laughed out loud when that thought came to mind. Her elf was so adorable. She could not help the smile that ended up on her face, but her bed buddy failed to notice, so no one said anything.

She settled her head on the pillow and found that sleep was not coming as easy as she hoped it would. A small voice in her mind started acting up and pointed out that she would probably be more comfortable if her brat was lying next to her, curled up against her like the content pet that she was. As the voice continued on, it pointed out that last weekend was almost a lost moment because the vast size of the bed. Her pest had not cuddled up against her that first day, but she had gotten a chance that second time. The voice taunted her by informing her that she knew she liked it.

The voice was not done with just that information. It seemed to be on a roll for the first time in a long time. It pointed out that Shego was thankful that the bed was so large now because she did not want to touch Drakken. She also did not want him to touch her, which he seemed to be of like mind most of the time. She did not want to cuddle with him and she did not desire to snuggle up to him. _But, you did with your pet_ , the voice commented.

Shego scowled and silently ordered that troublesome voice in her mind to shut the hell up. _I wouldn’t want to cuddle my brat the same way as I would my boyfriend_. Her shrimp just needed the attention and some affection from time to time because she was a pet, so she sometimes had to allow the redhead to snuggle up to her or she had to cuddle the girl like any good owner would. It was just like when she caressed her impish monster. She did those things because Kim was a pet, her pet. _It’s like when someone petted her dog or cat_ , she quietly argued. It was as simple as that, she told herself. The little voice inside of her head yielded for the moment, but it did not concede silently.

 _She may be a pet, but she isn’t a dog or cat. No matter how hard you try to make her seem that way, she just isn’t a dog or cat. Even the pet thing is pushing it_ , the voice pointed out.

Shego ignored the comment as best she could. The girl was just a pet. She was just a pet. It did not matter if she was not a dog or a cat, but she was still a pet. Nothing more. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim went to sleep in her mistress’ bed. She told herself that it was not because she was lonely or because of some nostalgic feeling. She just wanted a real bed and it was not like Shego was using hers. But, for someone who was not lonely or really nostalgic, she clung to one of her owner’s pillows rather tightly through out the night.

When the redhead rose in the morning, the phone rang almost a minute after she got up from bed. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was her master calling. She picked up the phone.

“Hey, Shego,” Kim smiled as she answered the phone.

“Don’t eat pizza for breakfast,” Shego ordered. It was like she had read Kim’s mind because that was just what she was going to have for her morning meal.

“But—” the olive-eyed girl tried to protest.

“And don’t order more junk food for dinner.”

“But—” 

“There’s money in the top drawer in my nightstand. Use it to buy a halfway decent meal. Go to a restaurant with your loopy friends or something. Just don’t eat more junk food for dinner and have something decent for breakfast.”

“Fine,” Kim sighed. Her mistress took all of the fun out of being a careless, carefree kid. Shego worried about her too much sometimes, the redhead believed.

“I’m serious.”

“I know. I’ll make something for dinner. Probably spaghetti.” 

“Of course. Just don’t burn down the house or anything. See you tomorrow.”

“Have fun,” Kim said and Shego could practically feel her pet smiling, which the petite adventurer was doing. The expression was not as bright as usual, though. They disconnected the call. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego put her phone back into her pocket and went back to fixing breakfast. _That girl is so fucking predictable_ , she thought. She knew that her pet would have pizza for dinner, which was why she had not called, and then try to have the leftover slices for breakfast. The first time that she caught her little monster doing that nonsense, she had scolded the girl so badly that she had the redhead hiding underneath her box all morning. 

The pale woman and Drakken ate breakfast and then went to hit the slopes. Oh, there was a sad sight indeed, Drakken trying to snowboard. Shego was almost certain that she had never laughed so hard in her life. He could use a snowboard just as well as she could fly under her own power. He was like a fish out of water on the damned thing. Actually with the way that he was floundering around, he might as well have been a fish on the snowboard. She figured maybe he was a bit more “classic” and got him a pair of skis. Things did not improve after that. 

The day in the snow made up for all of the times that Drakken got on the woman’s nerves during the trip. While she was embarrassed to be out there with him, it was still so entertaining to watch him fall every three seconds. He, of course, got angry with her every time that she giggled at one of his accidents. She would have looked at it as being like a car accident with the way he kept hitting things, but car accidents were not funny. He was more like an exaggerated flopper; he was like a campy version of a novice. It was just too funny.

Drakken had fallen an infinite amount of time while they were outside and was soaked to the bone by the time they got back to the cabin. He was also grumbling some not-very-curse words under his breath. She continued to snicker. 

“Look, if you promise not to utter the words cocoa-moo, I’ll make you some hot chocolate while you go peel yourself out of your snow gear,” she offered.

“Really?” he asked with hope in his voice and eyes. He was pitiful and it was not cute.

“Yeah, go take your shower,” she shooed him away.

He went to take a shower and she was thankful for the silence. Even though Drakken had been a barrel of laughs outside, she knew that the moment he settled inside, he was not going to be much fun. He came out of the bathroom to his hot chocolate and they went to lounge in the living room.

“Shego…” Drakken said.

“Hmm?” she replied. She hoped that he did not start up his rambling. She was finally out of the funk that he had put her in and she did not want to get back in it. While he might have found it hard to believe, she actually disliked being irritated. It took too much energy, but things just wore on her.

“What do we do now?” he inquired curiously. There was still sometime left in the day, so he figured that they needed to pass the time in some manner.

“We could go get into the hot tub,” she suggested.

“I don’t have swim trunks,” he stated.

The green-skinned female sighed and resisted the urge to shake her head. She should have expected as much from the inept inventor. She would have suggested that they just go in sans bathing suits, but she was aware that he would not go for that one. Her little imp probably would have jumped at the notion, though.

“Shego, do you like living in Go City?” Drakken inquired, seemingly out of the blue.

“It’s all right,” she answered. She had seen better and worse places. It was good enough for her, though.

“Would you like to move?”

“Why do you ask?” she countered because it seemed that they were having a very peculiar conversation.

“Well, I was offered a job on a government project and it’s a great job.”

“You took it already?” she guessed.

“Yeah,” he answered as if that was obvious. 

Shego frowned and there went her relatively good mood. She could not believe the man! First, he assumed that she wanted to marry him and now he was assuming that he just move her out of Go City, out of her home and she would not mind. _What the hell is wrong with him?_

She worked hard for everything that she had and she had plenty. She had things that he just wanted to her to up and leave all of it at the drop of a hat to go with him more than likely to some state with no more than fifteen people living in it, so he could work on some big government contract. She could not believe the gall of the man. _He has some huge fucking balls! I’ll give him that._

“You can give your cousin the apartment since she lives there already,” the sky-colored scientist suggested. 

“I could…” Shego was not agreeing. She was just echoing him because she was in total shock. She was completely freaking flabbergasted by the gall of the man. _How the hell could one person be so arrogant?_

“And we do have to tell our families about the engagement,” he commented casually.

“We do?” To hell they did, her mind stated.

“Of course we do. It’s about time I meet your family, wouldn’t you say?”

Shego did not reply. She did not even want to meet with her family. She definitely did not want him to meet her family. She did not even desire that he think about her family. She did not want to utter the word “engaged” at all, especially around her family and she damn sure did not want to give up everything that she had to be with him who-knew-where, but more than likely some small town that she had never heard of and she would like to keep things that way. She did not want to leave her pet, yet she did not say those things out loud.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: a brief interlude for the master and pet before some seriously fucked up things happen. The next chapter will give a clue as what is waiting around the corner.


	26. Dilemma Twenty-six: Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. The chapter title is from a Sisqo song, which I also don’t own.

Dilemma Twenty-six: Last Night

 _I’m under my mistress’ skin, but I don’t think she knows it. I’m there and I could make her itch. I don’t know whether she doesn’t know or just doesn’t accept my reasons for being here and her reasons for keeping me. We’re both happy with what’s happening, right? She’s happy to have me and I’m happy to be here … right? I’m not wrong, right?_  

Shego had hardly been home for ten seconds before her house phone started ringing. She sighed in annoyance and went to answer it without even bothering to check the caller ID. She knew already since the house phone was ringing that someone she did not want to speak with was calling. She answered in her usual clipped tone.

“Yo,” the pale woman said.

“You don’t sound too happy,” her mother commented.

“Because I’m on the phone.”

“And that makes you unhappy?”

“Whatever you’re about to say makes me unhappy,” the officer retorted. A phone call from her mother was the equivalent of the devil dialing her up. The older woman never said something that she wanted to hear.

Her mother laughed. “Well, just go pet your girl when we’re done and I’m sure you’ll feel much better.”

Shego was going to do that anyway, but there was no need for her mother to know that, especially when the blasted woman was mocking her. “What do you want, Mommy?” she practically demanded with a scowl embedded on her face.

“You’re really not going to like it,” Isabel commented in a light tone, as if she were having fun irking her favorite child.

“I know that. I never like it.”

“This is true. You’ve got to come to Sideview.”

“Mommy, we just got together and didn’t kill each other last year. Why are you pressing your luck?” the green-skinned woman inquired.

“Well, last year you didn’t bring your man,” her mother replied.

“How do you know about that?” Shego demanded with anger in her voice. _She probably had that damned little cabin in the mountains fucking bugged_ , the daughter thought with a growl. She knew that she should have checked that stupid place out.

“Come on, sweetheart—” Isabel was about utter her infamous line.

“I know, give you some credit. How long have you known?” Shego asked with a sigh. It was like she had no privacy thanks to her mother.

“Oh…” Isabel had to think on it. “Not very long, I suppose. About half a year.”

“Don’t you have stupider kids to spy on?” the officer huffed. Surely it would behoove her mother to check on those idiot sons of hers than spending time poking her nose into Shego’s business.

“I keep tabs on all of you. Come on, we’re all going to get together and meet your man,” Isabel said.

“That’s the whole point of the gathering?”

“I suppose. We could just call it a family reunion and I could cook a huge meal. It’ll just be for the weekend.”

Isabel knew better than trying to get her children together for any longer than a weekend. The last time that she had tried to have them together longer had ended with several injuries and wounds. One of them was even in tears by the end of the whole mess. The worst part of it was that they were grown at the time, except for the twins.

“Mommy, don’t make me do this,” the younger female pled.

Having Drakken meet her family seemed like such a big step to the green-skinned woman. It was like she was accepting everything that he had offered her and she did not want him to think that she accepted because she never did. Not to mention him and her brothers at the same time, her mother might as well just stab her in the eye with a million needles. It would be much more merciful in her opinion.

“You’re going to come out and bring him and bring Princess,” Isabel ordered.

“Her, too?” Shego scoffed. “Not freaking likely,” she muttered.

She was going to have to draw the line somewhere it would seem because it looked liked her mother was going out of her mind. She would have asked if her mother was going senile already if she was not so certain that her mother would drop whatever she was doing, leave wherever she was, come to Shego’s house, and kick the green-skinned woman across the face with all of her might.

“Yes, her, too,” her mother insisted.

“No, he doesn’t know about her,” she admitted with a sigh.

“What do you mean?”

“I think it’s obvious that he wouldn’t know that she’s my pet. I mean, I don’t think anybody would handle that well. I mean, I’m keeping a girl as a pet. He thinks that she’s my cousin,” Shego explained.

“Well then, I’ll just have to tell those blockheads that she’s their cousin,” her mother commented in a bored tone.

“And I’m supposed to trust them?” Shego asked incredulously. She would not trust her nutty brothers to walk down the stairs on their own and she was supposed to trust them to not blurt out that the redhead was her pet? _Yeah, right_. She was tempted to ask her mother what she was smoking to even think that she would trust her brothers.

“You’re supposed to trust me,” Isabel replied.

“Mommy, I stopped trusting you the day you dropped me out of that tree,” Shego commented.

“You let go of me,” Isabel argued.

“I slipped.”

“Either way, I had you and you messed up. It’s not my fault you slipped, so you shouldn’t take it out on me.”

“I’m just leaving her here.”

“Wouldn’t she feel left out?” Isabel asked. She could just see Kim pouting like an abandoned puppy if her mistress went some place for the weekend and left her behind.

“Do I care?” Shego countered.

The older woman chose not to answer that rather evident question. After all, if her daughter did not care, she would not even have the pet that she had, she reasoned. She would allow Shego to come to that conclusion on her own if she had not figured it out already.

“Do what you will with her. She is your pet, after all. So, this weekend, all right?” Isabel inquired.

“Whatever,” Shego replied. 

Isabel disconnected the call without bidding her daughter farewell, not that Shego cared. The green-skinned woman returned the phone to the base and then she looked around. She noted her girl’s absence and she wondered where the shrimp might be. She chose not to think too much about it at first because her pet did do the save the world thing every now and then. She typically could not call to let her master know that she was all right.

Since Kim had her missions and things, Shego did not bother worrying. Well, at first she was not very concerned. When time started ticking away and it began getting later and later, she started to get a little worked up.

“Where the hell is she?” Shego wondered, pacing the living room briefly. Once she realized what she was doing, she threw herself back onto the couch.

After being home for a couple of hours and her pet had not come in yet, Shego was not sure what to think. Her brat usually made it home by a certain hour. She could not go out and look for her munchkin, even though she would have liked to do so, because Kim could seriously be anywhere, not just on the planet, but possibly in space. No matter how much she tried to tell herself that her pet could take care of herself, being a hero and all, that did not help comfort her.

No matter what, Shego always remembered how she and her brat met. She knew that she would never forget that day. She always recalled Kim being knocked out in that cardboard box, both of her arms heavily bruised and her right hand almost useless. She had been out in the cold where anything could have happened to her and she would have been very close to powerless. To Shego, her pet would always be someone to be worried for.

The raven-haired woman’s fretting was ended by the sound of the front door opening. She stalked out the entrance hall to watch her girl come in. Kim was drenched and sniffling. She got caught in the rain, more than once actually. Shego just stared at the redhead for a moment.

“What happened to you?” the older woman inquired in a gruff tone, contradicting the fact that she had just been distressing out her mind almost over her pet. She hated that the girl made her worry and it got on her nerves.

“Everything, but mostly rain. Do you know it’s raining in New York, too?” Kim asked while sniffling some more. Saving the world was a serious business sometime and it was a full day job that day.

“I do now. Get out of those wet clothes. You can take a bath.”

“You’re going to shampoo my head?” Kim asked with a grin. Had she known she was going to come home and get her head washed by her master, she would have fought harder to get home sooner.

“Yeah.”

The redhead continued to smile. Her mistress had wonderful hands, making sure to treat Kim’s scalp as if it were fragile and delicate. Whenever she shampooed Kim’s head, the girl completely relaxed. She trotted off toward the bathroom while peeling off her soaking wet clothing. Shego joined Kim in the bathroom a few minutes later and the girl was already in the tub. The elder woman gathered the things for her monster’s hair and began to wash her pet’s head. They were silent for a while. All seemed right in the universe.

The raven-haired female thought about how she would not be able to do such things anymore if she married Drakken and moved away. She would miss grooming Kim, taking care of Kim. But, she could not do such things forever, right? Things changed and life went on.

“Princess,” Shego said.

“Yeah?” Kim replied. She had her head tilted forward for her owner to thoroughly cleanse her scalp.

It had never occurred to either of them that someone might think that there something was sexual between them for what they were doing at the moment. Shego had never thought to peek at her pet’s nude body and even if she did catch glimpses, she did not think anything of it. Kim had never thought to show anything off either. It was something that they did not think about. This was normal to them. They supposed it was normal to them because of that first night that they spent together.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Shego asked her little monster. It seemed as if she was coming out of left field with the question to her soaking pet.

“With you hopefully,” Kim answered as if that was obvious and it was to her. It was logical to her to want to be with the person that was dear to her. She wanted to be with her mistress forever if it was feasible. Other than that, everything else was irrelevant.

“And you’re just content to be my pet?” the pale woman inquired in a perplexed tone as if she just could not understand it and she could not. Why did a genius hero want to be her pet? How could she be happy like that? She was just a pet. It was not like that was a good thing.

“Aren’t you content with my being your pet?” the redhead countered.

“That wasn’t my question.”

“Wasn’t it?” the girl riposted. She was content as long as Shego was the same way and she would stick around for as long as her master wanted her around. She liked being with Shego. She did not see what was so difficult to comprehend about that.

“Tell me, are you content to be my pet for the rest of your life?” Shego asked.

“I’m content to be with you. It’s that simple,” the slender hero answered. 

“And you’ll just stay a pet?”

“If that’s what it means to stay with you,” she replied sincerely. It was not being a pet that bothered her. It was being replaced or cast aside that bothered her. It was not being first when she was so clearly the better choice that bothered her.

“Why?” the green-hued female asked in a confused tone. Why did Kim stay with her, put up with her, play the pet for her? It just did not make any sense to her. Her monster could have anything she wanted, yet she stayed to be a pet for a cranky woman.

Kim laughed and smiled. “Because I like you,” she answered easily.

“But, why?”

“Oh, well, that’s really simple. You’re nice to me, you care about me, and you don’t try to force me to do things that I don’t want to do. Around you, I feel free,” the redhead explained with a shrug and a smile. There was more to it, of course, but she could not say it all to her owner. After all, Shego seemed just a bit on edge for the simple fact that her pet liked being with her.

“Free to be my pet?” the officer inquired.

“Yeah.”

“You’re such a dummy.”

Kim was surprised by the simple phrase that her mistress used. No profane words or harsh terminology. It was just one word that everyone over the age of two knew and used. And she had said it so deliberately, but it did not hurt Kim. It seemed to hurt her master, who was slightly hugging her around the neck now. It sounded like it pained Shego to say those words.

“You’re just so stupid,” Shego whispered into her pet’s red mane.

Kim turned around to face her seemingly distressed master. The pale woman appeared to be fighting back tears. The redhead tried to comprehend why Shego would say such things and why she would look the way that she did. Did Shego think she was stupid because she stayed with a woman who refused to acknowledge her beyond being a pet? Maybe that was it. 

The slender adventurer did not think that it was so stupid to want to be with someone that she deeply cared for. She did not think that it was stupid to desire to be with a person that she wanted to be happy and she truly did want Shego to be happy. It had started out that she had planned to stay with Shego until the woman could stand on her own and be happy on her own, but now, there was more to it.

She wanted to stay with Shego to experience the pale woman’s happiness with her. She wanted to stay because her happiness was connected to Shego’s happiness. She just wanted to be with the super-powered female.

“If this is stupid, then so be it,” Kim replied. It was that simple to her. She could be what she was as long as she remained where she was. She just needed to stay, for both herself and her owner. She hugged Shego around the waist, not caring that she was naked and wet. “So be it,” she repeated in a whisper. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim was up in the loft and she was lying in her bed. She gathered that her mistress did not understand her, but she had known that for a very long time. She did not want understanding at the moment. She knew that deep down her master comprehended that she required Kim’s presence to some degree, which was always the important thing to Kim.

She knew that Shego would not grasp her being a pet too much because Shego was not a person that was willing to surrender power to someone else. The emerald-eyed officer had to always be in charge. It was something that Kim could understand and respect. She liked being in control of the situation as well. It was just that with her owner, she had learned to unwind and allow someone to take care of her. In learning that lesson, she had come to care a great deal about Shego and she wanted to be someone important to the woman, which she was.

Being special was another important thing in being a pet as far as Kim was concerned. She knew that she was special to Shego and that was enough in her mind. It sort of filled the void of unrequited love to be special to be her owner. After all, how many other people could say that they were special to the green-skinned woman? And because of that, she could continue to be a pet, despite some of the thoughts that she had been having recently. She just did not want to lose her place. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego sat up in bed, alone that night because Kim was busy thinking and it did not occur to her to go hop in her favorite resting place. Shego was thinking too. She was thinking hard.

If Drakken met her family, it would make everything seem so finalized, she believed. He would believe that she accepted his marriage proposal, which she had not, even though she had never said so out loud. He had not offered aloud. He had just given her that stupid ring on St. Valentine’s Day and thought that meant that they were getting married. Her father and brothers might think the same thing.

The pale woman was certain that her father and at least Hego would try to encourage Drakken, even if they did not like him. She doubted that they would like him because he was so unmanly. They typically shunned Mego for not being big and strong, so she bet that they would do the same with Drakken, but they would work passed that because he had a Y-chromosome and was with her. Her father and older brother would like that undoubtedly. Anything that led them to believe that she was straight would be all right by them.

Her mind echoed those words back to her, _led them to believe that she was straight_. It sounded as if she doubted herself. She was straight. She was only attracted to men, not counting the few mental slips that she had in regards to her little monster. She was straight and, more importantly, she was not attracted to her mischievous imp of a pet. Certainly not, she told herself.

The super-powered female decided to go to sleep before her mind started coming up with other stretchy phrases and she would have to defend herself to herself. She was straight and she was not attracted to her pet in any way, shape, or form. That was it. 

-?-?-?-?-

Shego came into the apartment as usual. She flopped down on the sofa and looked around, realizing that something was off. She did not see Kim anywhere and then suddenly the redhead popped up behind her, as if she had come out of thin air. The apartment owner made an irked noise in the back of her throat as her pet leaned against her back.

“Oh, you feel tense,” Kim commented with a purr for no reason that Shego could guess as she pressed herself against her mistress’ back and felt all of her master’s tight muscles.

“It’s nothing,” the pale woman huffed. She was tempted to swat her annoying rascal away, but she left the girl alone. Besides, she would not mind an excuse to have another massage.

“Nonsense. You know I can work that out for you.”

“You’re just looking for an excuse to get me to take my shirt off again,” the older female remarked.

“Nope. Just sit still,” Kim instructed her owner.

The olive-eyed girl went to work immediately on the raven-haired woman’s tight shoulders. Shego eventually relaxed as Kim kneaded the muscles in her back. The redhead leaned in near her mistress’ ear.

“Would he do this to you?” Kim asked in a low voice. The question covered so much ground and Shego knew that instantly. She did not have the answer or she did have the answer, but she just did not say it. It was too frightening to admit.

The slim adventurer nipped at Shego’s earlobe, catching her by more surprise than that question had. Before the elder female could think of a response or bark an order, one of Kim’s hands snaked around to the front of Shego’s torso. She gently caressed the pale woman’s left breast, through her shirt, making the older woman moan deeply. The petite hero had very skilled hands, her master noted.

“Can he make you feel this way?” the redhead inquired while moving her mouth to Shego’s ear to her neck, suckling on the flesh, tasting it, loving it. “I could if you let me,” Kim whispered while making her mistress moan again, more licentiously than before… 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego shot up in bed and gasped. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat. She realized that she had been dreaming. _Of course, it was a dream_. After all, her runt would never do such things to her and she would never allow it if the shrimp did try. In fact, she would slaughter her little brat if she ever tried to do such things to her. But, why had she dreamed that?

She looked around thinking that her pest might have gotten in bed with her at some point and cuddled up next to her to induce such a revolting dream. The redhead did have a history of fondling her while they slept. But, there was no sign her elf. She was alone just as she had been when she went to sleep. Besides, Kim snuggled up to her all of the time and never made her dream anything like that. Well, almost never anyway. So, why had she dreamed it now?

The emerald-eyed woman decided not to let it worry her. It was just one freakish brain impulse. It would probably never happen again or at least if it did, it would happen long after she had forgotten that last ghastly vision. Yeah, it was just one freak accident and that was the end of it, she convinced herself. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego was lying on her bed in her pajamas. The room had a strange illumination to it, as if there were candles lighting the area, but there none around from what she could see. She scanned the room, wondering what was going on and then she spotted a pair of olive green eyes stalking her at the foot of the bed. She craned an ebony eyebrow. _What is my little brat up to now?_

Kim slowly rose to where a feral smirk was visible on her face. She pulled herself up onto the bed with all the grace of a big cat, revealing that she was in a blush pink camisole and matching shorts, which were cut high on her slim thighs. She crawled up the length of the bed and up Shego’s body. She continued to smirk when they were face to face; she was straddling her master’s stomach.

“What are you doing?” Shego demanded. She knew that sometimes her pet was naughty, but she was pushing her limits now.

“Whatever you want me to,” Kim answered in a low voice.

“Then get off of me,” the pale woman ordered.

“Oh, but you don’t really want that. I mean, if you did, you’d just throw me off. That’s only what your mouth is saying. There are better things to do with your mouth. Let me show you some.”

The emerald-eyed female was set to protest when Kim leaned down and kissed the corner of her mouth. It was a move that Shego often did to her little pet. She then placed soft, wet kisses on Shego’s chin; her mistress did not put up any sort of fight. She made her way down to the pale woman’s neck and lavished the whole area with tender, but hungry kisses. She paused when her lips landed on the elder woman’s pulse. She nuzzled the space for a second or so and then licked at the artery barely hidden underneath that pale, sea green skin.

The raven-haired woman bit her lip to keep from moaning from the attention, but that only seemed to encourage the adventurous little redhead. Kim moved on with her exploration, farther down the length of her mistress’ body, methodically unbuttoning the officer’s pajama shirt while keeping her mouth on all of that lovely, delicious pale skin. For some reason that was beyond Shego, she was not wearing a bra underneath her pajama shirt, which was not like her, and Kim seemed to know that.

One of Kim’s hands went for the soft flesh while the other supported her over the apartment owner and her mouth retreated to the light spring green skin at the collarbone. Shego did not moan, but she did arch into the younger woman’s luscious touch. Kim noticed and pulled her mouth away from its feast of Shego’s body for a brief moment.

“What do you want now?” Kim asked in a whisper of a voice.

“Get off,” Shego managed to command in between pants.

“Sure.”

The redhead smirked, appearing something close to hunting feline that spotted its prey. She flung her master’s pajama shirt to the side as if it were the worst thing that she had ever seen and then stared at the treasure that she uncovered with her act for a few seconds. Shego was ready to cover herself up because she had been stared at before when she was topless and it was never for a good reason, despite her sexiness. Apparently, green nipples turned fellows off and made them huff about what was wrong with her body. She thought that was the reason behind why the petite hero was eyeing her.

“So beautiful,” Kim whispered before diving right in to do exactly what she wanted to do, attaching her mouth to the jade gem revealed to her, causing Shego to cry out in sheer ecstasy… 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego shot up from bed, chest heaving because she was breathing like she had just been saved from drowning. Her hair was sticking to her forehead from sweating so hard. Her heart was racing. She had had one of those dreams again. It was the third one that week and it was only Tuesday. 

The emerald-eyed woman wondered what brought on that dream. She glanced to the side and saw her pet was lying there, practically draped on her. She gasped and acted without thinking, literally kicking Kim out of the bed. Kim yelped when she hit the floor.

“What did I do?” the redhead whined, rubbing her head, even though she did not hit it.

“Get out!” Shego ordered while point to the door.

“Why?” Kim asked in a very confused tone.

“Because I said so! Go! Now!”

The slender pet pouted and exited the room as she was ordered to do. She could not believe that she had just gotten kicked out of bed. She knew it was against the rules for her to sleep in her owner’s bed, but she could not recall the last time that the rule was actually enforced. Hey, on some nights, she woke up for brief moments and found her owner holding her, embracing her. So, she thought that it was all right for her to sleep in the bed now, even if Shego had never said so.

 _I didn’t even do anything to be kicked out of bed_ , Kim thought. Well, not counting the fact that she had been resting her head on Shego’s chest, but she did that half of the time that she slept next to her master. So, why had she been kicked out of the bed? 

-*-(New Day)-*-

Shego shot up from her pillow yet again. She was drenched and, apparently, it was not just sweat that time around. She was breathing as if she had just run a marathon. It felt like there was lava coursing through her veins instead of blood. She had had one of those dreams again and it was the worst one yet.

The dream had been so intense that the pale woman had hit an apex in her sleep, which was what woke her up. It just felt that good. That was certainly a new experience, she silently noted. She had never in her life had a dream that made her feel like she needed a cigarette and not for her usual reasons. Thanks to that dream, she felt like she needed a cigarette for the normal, right reasons.

To make matters worse, she was sleeping next to Drakken. She had no excuses to offer up as to why she had had the dream. She was glad that she had not cried out when she had reached the overwhelming peak in the dream or she might have woken him up and she had no idea how she would have started to explain why she had made the noise. She doubted that he would have understood anyway. She hardly understood how a dream could be so good.

“What the hell is going on in my head?” Shego wondered out loud, but in a very low voice.

She needed to stop having those dreams; especially since she needed to be well rested since she would need all of her energy to deal with her family tomorrow. Besides, Kim was just her pet and she should not be thinking of the girl in that manner. After all, she was straight, the raven-haired woman told herself. She was straight. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shego’s family meets Drakken. Guess how many of them like him; go ahead and guess. And then try to guess what happens. And then bring me a sandwich, please.


	27. Dilemma Twenty-seven: If these walls could scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I also don’t own Pac-man.
> 
> I feel this is as good a place as any to warn you guys that after this, there are four chapters remaining.

Dilemma Twenty-seven: If these walls could scream

_Home, wretched home. I’d like my pet to think that she’s the lucky one still being at the apartment and all, but she wouldn’t believe me if I said that. She’s such a baby. Maybe I’ll buy her something or make some pasta when I get back. No one would believe the look on her face when I told her I was going away for the weekend again. You’d have thought I just told the brat that there’s no Santa. She’s just a big baby._

Shego pulled up to her former home and looked around. She thought that it would have been fair to have a sign that read “Welcome to Hell” on their front lawn, just to let everyone know what all the noise was about that came from the house when it was in use by more than one member of their family. The large house, it was close to what many would consider a mansion, was located in a suburb of Go City, which was called Sideview.

The emerald-eyed female was willing to bet that it was a peaceful neighborhood when the Gooding family was not around. When they were home, hey, at least the neighbors had something to talk about. It also gave the neighbors people to measure themselves against and say “at least we’re not like them.” They had no idea how lucky they truly were, Shego thought about their neighbors.

The green-skinned woman exited the car and looked around the area. The house was just as she remembered it. She wondered why she never got around to burning the place down. Oh, right, the twins had beaten her to it and almost gotten around to accomplishing the act of arson. That had been an interesting day since they had only been four years old; they had many more interesting days as they grew up. It was then that she figured out that it would be better for her to have another place to live before getting rid of that wretched place. If that house could speak, she was sure that it would scream for help.

“This is where you used to live?” Drakken asked as he exited the car. He looked around and he guessed that Shego came from a lot of money. He was not far off, but it was not like the money did not come from a lot of hard work. At least a lot of hard work on her mother’s part, anyway.

“Unfortunately,” she answered. She had learned that money could not buy happiness while growing up.

“Hey, it’s sis!” Walter reported as he spotted Shego from the front window of the house.

The whole family left the house to go outside and greet Shego. Well, they left the house anyway. The twins ran directly to the car, shoving passed their sister and her boyfriend. The two match-heads could care less than nothing about their sister and that guy. In fact, they had barely noticed the so-called couple. No, they were not buying the story of their sister being with that fellow so far. He was just a “beard,” the twins assured their brothers and father.

“What are you two losers doing?” Shego inquired against her better judgment as they hopped into the car, one taking the backseat and the other taking the front seat. They were being weird even for them as far as she was concerned.

“Where is she?” the duo demanded with a scowls as if their sister had done something with the person that they were looking for.

“Where is who?” the pale woman inquired.

“Princess!” they both answered as if it was obvious and to them it was. They searched the car, but Kim was not there. Well, what in the hell was the point in putting their lives on pause to come out to the house and have to deal with the nutcases in their family if the hot girl in the collar was not going to be there? It was a waste in their opinion.

“Oh, she didn’t come,” Shego answered in a dismissive tone, waving them off.

“Why the hell not?” the pair huffed as if they were insulted by that fact.

“The only reason we even bothered to show up was because Mommy said Princess was going to be here,” Walter stated.

“So, why the hell isn’t she here?” Wallace inquired. There was no way that they were going to miss a sexy redhead in a collar, yet she was not there.

“She had shit to do,” Shego replied in an irked tone. “Besides, do you think I drag that little brat around everywhere I go?”

“We would!”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Fuck,” both young men muttered.

They crawled out of the car and attempted to straighten out their clothes. They were both dressed in baggy clothes and there really did not seem to be a problem with their outfits. They just wanted something to do for a second to help their frustration pass. They then turned their attention to Drakken and looked him over for a second. He did not look very impressive to them.

“Walter,” the first twin introduced himself in a huff.

“Wallace,” the second said in the same manner as his double.

“Doctor D. Drakken Lipsky,” the blue scientist said and he extended his hand.

“Whatever,” the twins commented without so much looking at the extended hand and they tried to walk back into the house with their shoulders slumped. They were now dejected and upset. 

Their mother stopped the twins from leaving the yard by grabbing both of them by their arms. They sighed knowing that they were going to have to pay their sister’s “boyfriend” some mind, if he really was that anyway. If it were possible, they would request some documented proof of some kind with the official signature of a notary and two other witnesses to verify their sister and that so-called guy were a couple. If only “Princess” had made the trip, they could have questioned her … after, they ogled her for a while, anyway.

“Yeah, so this is my family. My mother, Isabel. My father, Jason. My brothers, dumb, dumber, and the two freaks,” Shego introduced everyone with as much as zeal as one would expect of a person going to the dentist.

“It’s Hego,” the eldest sibling stated as he shook Drakken’s hand. Jason then shook the cerulean scientist’s hand. 

“Not much of a handshake on you,” Jason noted while letting go of the onyx-eyed doctor’s weak-wristed hand rather quickly. His palms were clammy and Jason fought against the urge to wipe his hand on his pants.

“At least he’s a man,” Hego commented.

“I’d like proof of that,” Mego muttered. The twins nodded to show that they seconded the motion.

“Let’s just go inside,” Isabel suggested before the remarks got too out of hand. They had only just met Shego’s boyfriend, so she did not see why they could not act civil toward him for five minutes.

No one objected to the notion of returning inside and they all entered the huge house. The twins made themselves scarce as soon as they got in the house. They just were not interested in Drakken because he was not their sister’s pet. They had been all hyped up to see Kim and maybe get another shot at her, but that obviously was not going to happen anytime soon.

Besides, the ruby-eyed duo was fairly certain that their sister’s relationship with the sky-skinned inventor was fake. They meant “wooden eye” fake too, like it was just _that_ obvious. Sure, they had not spoken two words to the guy, but they saw Shego with her pet and that was a true relationship there as far as they could tell. If she was really with that blue dude, then they reasoned that they would not have seen her with Kim the way that she was. She also would not get so angry with them for trying to talk to her precious pet. They considered that their sister did not know, downplayed, or just ignored her feelings for the petite redhead that she kept as a pet.

“So, Drakken, what do you do?” Isabel asked as she, Jason, Hego, Shego, and Drakken retreated to the living room.

Mego decided to not even bother with the group, knowing that it was going to be just stupid to watch. He could really care less than nothing about his sister and her boyfriend and he did not see why they were getting so much attention. He did not think that they were special in any way.

Besides, Mego was also not buying the whole “boyfriend/girlfriend” bit any more than the twins were. He had pointed out several times before Shego arrived that she was gay and they all needed to just move on. He eventually annoyed his father and older brother, who just refused to accept that even as an option. The purple-hued young man did not feel the need to subject himself to a rotten show where he would only be compelled to crush their dreams and then he would get yelled at for it. He had better things to do.

“I’m an inventor,” the light blue scientist replied in regards to what his occupation was as the fellows all sat down.

“Interesting. Can I get you anything? A drink or something?” Isabel offered. She and her daughter remained standing.

“No, I don’t drink,” he answered. 

“No, that’s quite a feat after being with Shego,” Isabel muttered while glancing at her daughter, who shook her head and decided not to get back at her mother for that remark. “Well, I’ll just get myself a drink. Jason, what about you?” Isabel asked her husband.

“Put it on hold,” he replied, believing that he would need a drink at some point in the evening. Isabel nodded to her husband’s response and went to fix herself a drink because she happened to have more news than her husband. She was always the well-informed parent whether her children wanted her to know or not. 

Jason stared at Drakken. He had to admit that he was glad to see their daughter with a man, but the guy did not look like much of a man. He had a very weak handshake and his palms were sweaty. Jason did not even want to think about that. He was willing to bet that Shego could bench-press the scrawny doctor if the urge ever came over her. Hell, there was already the chance that she might have done that once, he considered.

“So, how long have you been seeing my little sister?” Hego inquired.

“Oh … well, steadily we’re been together almost three years,” Drakken replied.

Isabel was just outside the living room and nearly choked on air when she heard that number. Jason coughed to hide his surprise. Isabel was about to offer her husband that drink again, but she knew that if he needed it, he would have called for it. He was better than her in that regard, she thought. She definitely needed a drink now. Apparently, she was not as informed as she would have liked.

“That’s good. You’re treating her good, right?” the eldest sibling asked, which Drakken easily confirmed.

“Mommy, fix me one, too,” Shego called and she just decided to leave the living room altogether because she was aware that the question and answer session was only going to get painful. She joined her mother by the liquor cabinet in the sitting room, which was adjacent to the living room.

“Three years?” Isabel inquired as if she was hissing when her daughter was standing next to her.

“Don’t ask,” Shego sighed. 

“Fine, but three fucking years?”

“You’re asking,” the daughter pointed out.

“Right, right. Three damn years?” her mother said again as if she was horrified. And really, she was. Such time had to be hard on her daughter’s little devoted pet, Isabel thought and she did not think that it was right for her daughter to hurt such a sweet, loving girl, especially for such a creepy-looking chap. Sure, he might have had nice personality or something, but from what Isabel knew, she was aware that was not the case.

“You hate him already, huh?” Shego inquired.

“No, no. I don’t hate him. I just … he’s not who I expected,” Isabel replied. She had expected someone that could at least rival Kim, but she could already see that he was nothing compared to the girl. She knew that Kim was like oxygen to her daughter, so she could not see how that man in the living room challenged someone that kept her daughter alive and well.

“You just think I should be with Princess,” Shego commented as if she could read her mother’s mind, but then again, it was not like her mother’s thoughts were a secret.

Isabel did not even bother to confirm the truth because it was not a secret. She fixed herself and Shego drinks and then Isabel went to hang around the living room entrance to hear more about the cerulean-skinned scientist. She already knew about his scientific achievements and things like that, but she wanted to understand what kind of person he really was. She wanted to understand how it was plausible for him to be a better choice than Kim was.

Shego was not sure if she should stick around and do damage control or just screw it and allow Drakken to hang himself while she hid in the basement. She joined her mother at the entrance for the simple fact that she bet Wally was in the basement playing pool at the least and playing everything at the most. She did not want to have to deal with the immature match-heads at the moment.

Jason and Hego tried to strike up a manly conversation with Drakken, probably to measure his macho-ness, the two ladies gathered. They started talking about sports, a sure-fire way to lose Shego’s and Isabel’s interest. They left while Shego knew that the onyx-eyed scientist had already failed that test. He knew less about sports than she did. 

Once Jason and his son established that the ebony-haired inventor knew nothing about the greatest sports of all time in their opinions, namely football and hockey, they decided to see if he could play some pool. They thought that he might be good at the activity and they were genuinely trying to find someway to connect with the man. They wanted to accept that Shego had a decent man in her life. They invited him down to the basement, finding Walter and Wallace playing each other in pool. 

“Hey, you two, give it up for a minute,” Jason ordered his youngest sons.

“We were here first,” Walter replied.

“I don’t see your mother around here, Wally,” Jason pointed out for his sons to get the idea that he was the sole authority in the basement. He was not about to take their backtalk.

The twins considered their father’s words for a moment before conceding the pool table to him and their older brother. The duo went over to the bar to get something to drink. Their father watched them, making sure they did not go into the alcohol, even though they were now of age to drink. The pair grabbed sodas and then went over to the air hockey table.

The basement was like a small arcade. They had a pool table, an air hockey table, a table tennis set, a pinball machine, and the arcade version of Pac-man. There was something for everyone in the basement. Too bad they all always seemed to want to be down there alone, except for the twins of course since they more than likely could not function completely alone. The floor was carpeted a dark pink, which was their mother’s doing. There was also a bar in the back corner stocked with drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.

Jason and Hego set up the pool table and began to play a game with Drakken. Oh, they were witnessing a sad sight and they had actually seen many when it came to pool. _He plays worse than Mego and Mego plays like a blind five-year-old girl_ , Hego thought as he watched the scientist scratch for a third time in his third go. Jason could not believe his eyes, but there was someone actually worse at pool than his wife was and Isabel could not sink a ball in the pocket if it was hovering on the edge. It was almost tragic watching him even try.

Now, Jason was glad that his daughter was with a man, but Drakken was really looking like the bottom of the barrel when it came to men. He did not know what to think of the inventor. He guessed that he would just wait and see how Isabel interacted with the man. If she detested the doctor, he had no problem with letting his own dislike of the guy show also. He considered that Isabel might have thought that it was a good thing that their daughter was with a man, too, which was why she had put the gathering together, which was why he was willing to see how she was toward the scientist. 

Drakken could not believe how difficult pool was. It seemed like such a simple game with nothing more than some geometry with a bit of physics, but he could not quite get the hang of it. He could not really hit the cue ball and if he did hit it, he hit it most improperly. He literally scratched the table on one try. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Should I even ask you about him?” Isabel asked her daughter while they were peeling potatoes.

Isabel had a big dinner planned for the day. It would get Mego’s and the twins’ attention at least and make them feel like the return home was worth it. And doing something would take her mind off of the fact that her daughter was too blind to know whom she should be with when it came to companions. It was rather frustrating to witness such foolishness from her favorite child.

“Save us both the trouble,” Shego replied. She had decided to help her mother cook because she did not have anything better to do. Her mother had attempted to suggest several things for her to get her out of the kitchen because the older woman was never a fan of help in any way, which might explain why Shego never liked helping anyone when she got older.

“Well, why didn’t you bring Pumpkin?” Isabel asked curiously. She had wanted to see the girl again. She enjoyed seeing the hero’s smiling face. She liked seeing her daughter happy with her pet. She could not risk saying that out loud of her daughter might never bring Kim around again.

“I didn’t want to chance it.”

“I made it clear that they were not supposed to say anything about her relationship to you. Wally was so hyped about her showing up,” the older woman commented.

“I bet they were,” Shego said in a deadpan tone. She bet that her baby brothers wanted to molest her little imp.

“You know your brothers mean no harm,” her mother said. She could tell that her daughter was angry with the twins for having the nerve to hit on Kim, but she did not think that Shego recognized that she was upset with the boys because she had affections for her pet.

“You can believe that if you want.”

Isabel only smiled a bit. “You know that your father isn’t going to like him, right?” she asked because she knew the type of man her husband respected and Drakken did not fit the bill. She knew just enough about the scarred inventor to know that he should consider himself lucky if Jason acknowledged his existence once dinner rolled around, despite the fact that Jason desperately wanted proof that his daughter was not a lesbian.

“Why, just because he doesn’t play football?” Shego countered in a mocking tone. “Screw what Dad thinks and who he likes or whatever. I don’t give a damn, anyway.”

“Don’t you? You are Shego,” her mother teased. Her daughter ran around with that nickname like she was Daddy’s little girl.

“Mommy, Shego will always be a way better name than the one you gave me,” she retorted. She was not sure what it was about her real name that made her stomach turn, but she just could not stand her name.

“It could’ve been worse. I could’ve named you after myself and than called you ‘Little Izzie,’“ her mother remarked with an amused look on her face.

Shego balked at the very idea. “You’re not as cruel as your mother was obviously.”

“Obviously,” Isabel concurred. They came from a long line of extraordinary and conceited women and Isabel had been named after her mother because her mother thought very highly of herself. In fact, she was rather insulted when Isabel did not name Shego after her. There were already too many Isabels wandering around in her opinion, so she went with something different when naming her daughter and it turned out that her daughter hated the name, anyway.

“I should’ve brought her, huh?” Shego sighed out of the blue. She wished that she had brought her little monster because the girl would have enjoyed herself and she would have given Shego someone to focus on rather than just taking the pain that came along with Drakken interacting with her family. She would have someone to pet and relieve some of the tension that was building in her body.

“You should’ve. What did you tell her to make her stay?” Isabel asked because she doubted that the pet had allowed Shego to leave quietly.

“Nothing. I just said I’m going out for the weekend and told her not to burn the house down and if she brought any reptiles home, she had better make sure they’re all gone by the time I get back. She should be fine. She’s got nutty friends to keep her company. I just need to call her in the morning to make sure she doesn’t eat pizza for breakfast,” the younger woman replied.

“Oh, let her live like a careless kid for just a second. Single people in their early twenties eat pizza for breakfast.”

“Not when they live in my house.” 

Isabel laughed a little bit. She could not believe her daughter. She took such great care of Kim and Kim took such great care of her in return. She wondered when her daughter would just realize and accept that fact. It was not like it was a bad thing to have someone so concerned for her wellbeing. If only everyone could be so lucky, actually.

-8-8-8-8-

Drakken had managed to finally sink a ball on the pool table and that was it. It was on and popping in his mind for a reason that everyone else missed. He had to go into the mathematic reasons as to why he was able to put the four-ball into the right corner pocket. Jason, Hego, and the twins all watched in disbelief as the sky-blue inventor babbled on for several minutes about why he, with his genius mind, was able to make such a shot.

“Oh, just shut the hell up!” Walter told the cerulean inventor after the man passed the five-minute mark with his ramblings. He said what they were all thinking. He and his double made fists to show that they were very close to punching the doctor, probably in the mouth, and the only that was thing holding them back was that they knew it would anger their parents if they stomped out the guest.

“The fucking ball was two damn inches from the fucking pocket,” Wallace pointed out in a clearly vexed tone. He was not feeling any better getting on the scientist verbally. He still wanted to deck the guy and keep him from talking anymore. “Anyone with fucking fingers could’ve hit that fucking shot!”

“It’s not like you banked the fucking ball off of all four damn sides of the fucking table and managed to tap the fucking ball into the damn hole,” Walter added. He was not feeling anymore at ease either. He also still wanted to hit the man, hard.

“But then again, you probably don’t know dick about balls and holes,” Wallace commented, which was the last straw. His twin had to high-five him from that.

“Wally, go upstairs,” Jason commanded. He could understand their pain, but he would rather they not attack their sister’s boyfriend, verbally and physically. It was good that she was with a man and they did not need to ruin that.

The duo did not argue because they were extremely happy for an excuse to leave. Who wanted to be around Hego for so long anyway? Not them, that was for sure. They noted that Drakken did not seem like the life of the party either and decided that they would rather be boiled in oil than share the same space with him again, unless of course, they were able to beat the piss out of him.

They wondered if dinner was ready yet as they made their way upstairs. Their plan was eat and then avoid every male in the house until they were allowed to leave. They just did not feel like putting up with the jackasses that they seemed to be surrounded by.

Jason watched the twins leave and then turned his attention back to Drakken, who had not been deterred by the duo’s outbursts and was still ranting. Jason stared at the man because he could not believe his eyes or his ears. How did his impatient daughter avoid snapping the blue man’s neck? The only thing that he could do to avoid just throwing Drakken out, as in literally pitching him through the door, was to tell himself that at least his daughter was with a man. She was with a man and that was a good thing. It was a good thing. 

-8-8-8-8-

The family gathered around the dinner table and stared at the spread. It was like Thanksgiving. There was a huge turkey and the foods that followed went well with the bird. There was rice, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, string beans, spinach, black beans, peas, macaroni and cheese, and homemade biscuits. There were even chicken fingers and chicken cutlets in case someone did not want turkey. Everyone, except for Drakken, jumped right into fixing their plates.

“Sis, it looks like you might need to help him out,” Walter commented, eyeing the sky-colored scientist, who he doubted would be able to survive how they worked when it came to mealtime. He wanted to call the doctor a pussy for not even trying to get some food, but he doubted that was acceptable language at the dinner table.

It was every man for himself when it came to fixing plates in the presence of the Gooding family and the only way something was claimed was if it was in someone’s mouth, and even that was debatable depending if it was the last of something. Every member of the Goodling family had been stabbed in their hands with forks on more than one occasion. Sometimes, they were actually stabbed with knives and even spoons when people were feeling cute. It was dangerous in there.

“I guess he’s scared to lose a limb,” Wallace laughed.

“Loser,” Walter chuckled. They remembered how Kim had not been scared to dive into the feeding frenzy during dinner back at the villa. The problem was that Shego would not allow her pet to join in.

“You two,” Isabel scolded the twins. “Stop being so rude.”

The twins only laughed. Oh, they were never going to let Shego live the day down now that they had met her boyfriend. Even if he was not really her boyfriend, they were not going to let her live it down. They were going to make fun of the water-colored male until the day that they died, even if she was not with him anymore. Shego swore that she was so cool, but she was dating a serious geek; they just were never going to let that go.

The green-hued officer knew that the ruby-eyed duo was not going to let the day go. It was how they were. It was one of the reasons that she could not stand being near them. It was also one of the reasons why she did not desire to bring Drakken around. He and her family would never mix. They were oil and he was water.

Eventually, everyone got the food that they wanted. They all made it out of the fray with their limbs in tact and no utensil wounds. The scientist gathered food once everyone was done and it was clear that Shego was not about to fix a plate for him. Everyone settled down to eat what they all knew would be a delicious meal.

“So, Drakken, perhaps you’d like to tell us a bit about yourself and your work. What have you invented lately?” Isabel inquired and Shego wished that she could just stop her mother before the whole question got out.

The ocean-hued doctor started up, much to the whole family’s dismay. They had years of practice when it came to ignoring people, thanks to each other and Mego especially. But, the key difference between Drakken and purple-colored male was that Mego eventually stopped talking and hoped for some feedback. The middle sibling wanted attention while Drakken seemed to like the sound of his own voice. It was pure torture for everyone else. 

“Could you imagine the pillow talk with this guy?” Walter remarked.

“Sis probably gets up and grabs a snack,” Wallace commented.

“Hell, or she goes to work,” Walter stated.

“Pillow talk?” Hego echoed. He turned his attention to Drakken. “You’re sleeping with my sister?” he demanded.

The onyx-eyed inventor appeared nervous at that outburst and it got him to stop talking, which would have been nice if the muscular man was not making inquires on Shego’s sex life. Isabel decided to step in and hopefully get Hego under some form of control. It was not like Jason would halt their eldest son, especially since he would want to know all of the same information as the indigo-eyed man. Nobody else was interested in hearing about Shego’s nighttime activities with the irksome scientist, though, especially not while they were eating.

“Hector, your sister is a grown woman,” Isabel pointed out.

“So what? He soiled her,” Hego declared. He obviously had the farfetched idea that Shego was actually still a virgin when she hooked up with Drakken. They all wondered where he got that idiotic notion.

“Soiled me? What are we in the fucking 1890’s?” Shego wondered out loud with an arched eyebrow.

“Hego probably has never gotten laid,” Walter commented in a dry tone.

“He probably doesn’t even know what to do,” Wallace replied in the same kind of voice. The duo glanced around the table and could not help feeling like losers surrounded them.

“You two, stop being so filthy. We’re at the table,” Isabel reprimanded the pair.

“What about Hego?” Walter countered.

“He’s the one using words like ‘soiled’ and shit like that,” Wallace pointed out.

“Hey,” Jason admonished the match-head for using foul language, especially while talking to his mother, even though everyone knew that Isabel did not mind. In fact, the twins probably cursed so much because they spent so much time around their mother.

“I don’t even want to hear it. Just eat,” Isabel commanded the twins, who did not appreciate getting it from all sides. They grumbled, but they did as they were ordered to do. Everything was silent for the moment before Drakken decided to speak again, much to everyone’s dismay.

“So, I suppose Shego’s told you that we’re getting married,” the scientist announced. Everyone instantly stopped eating and stared at the blue male in complete and utter shock. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: things just continue to go downhill.


	28. Dilemma Twenty-eight: Got stress?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.
> 
> Warning: three chapters to go.

Dilemma Twenty-eight: Got stress?

_Shit! Why in the hell would he say something that fucking stupid? Damn it, damn it, damn it!_

“Izzie,” Jason said in the calmest voice that he could manage.

“Yes, dearest?” Isabel replied, also trying her best to sound as composed as possible. 

“I’ll take that drink now,” Jason informed her.

“I thought that you might.”

Isabel kept her composure and got up from the table to fix her husband and herself a drink each. Why did they feel that they needed the alcohol? They just found out that their daughter was engaged. Not just engaged, but engaged to an overly annoying scientist who probably did nothing for their daughter in the slightest. They doubted that anything could give them a worse shock to their systems simultaneously.

“Did he say he’s getting married to our sister?” Mego asked the Wegos because he was almost certain that he had heard wrong. Why would anybody in his right mind want to marry Shego? Hell, why would someone out of his mind want to marry Shego?

“He did,” the twins confirmed, unable to completely shut their mouths. 

“Our sister, as in Shego?” Mego asked to be sure and the duo could only nod. Their sister was going to marry a weed? It did not seem quite right. In fact, it was plain sick and wrong on so many levels.

“Shego, why didn’t you tell us you were getting married?” Jason asked, trying his best to be calm about things. Okay, his daughter was with a man, so she was not a lesbian, but marriage to the guy that she had brought to the house with her was a little too much. His daughter deserved a man that was way better than this pompous blowhard. She deserved a man that she could not undoubtedly reduce to tears without trying. She deserved a man that would not cry if she even decided to hit him, if she had not hit him before.

Shego did not answer her father’s question. She was saved from responding as her mother returned with two drinks in her hands. She went to her husband and handed him one drink. He gulped it down and Isabel did not even have to look at him to know that he needed another. She handed him her drink, which he gulped too. Isabel left the room to fix herself another drink. Once she returned, she sat down to eat. She glanced at Jason, who stared intensely at Shego. The green-skinned woman merely ignored the glares and ate her food.

The family did not say anything, which Drakken thought was very peculiar. He figured that they would be congratulating him and Shego. After all, they were getting married. An engagement was supposed to be a cause for a celebration, he thought.

The doctor turned his attention to the food that was before him and started to play with his meal, as he typically did when Shego made a meal. Isabel almost immediately noticed his actions and eyed the man with a scowl deep in her face as he pushed the food around his plate with his fork. The twins saw the look in their mother’s eye and they would not be surprised if she stabbed him in the hand with a butter knife. She leaned forward as if she was about to say something or do something, but restrained herself from hurting the blue male’s feelings or worse, hurting his body.

“Mom,” the twins said, wishing that she would just do whatever it was she was about to do.

Isabel held up her hand. “Just eat,” she told them. She feared that if she touched their guest, she would then have to bury him in the backyard. At least she knew that everyone would help.

Obviously, something needed to be done before one of the family members snapped on the doctor. It did not seem like anyone was looking to intervene and was just waiting for one person to start up, so the rest of them could jump in. The father decided to try to ease away the pulsing, pressing tension by starting a discussion.

“So, have you set a date?” Jason asked, even though no one wanted to know. In fact, everyone, minus Drakken, glared at him for allowing the topic to continue.

Truthfully, Jason was not sure how he kept his voice from trembling out of fear of the answer. He just knew that he had to make conversation before his wife did something drastic to the sky-colored moron playing with the meal that she prepared. If she started, there would be no stopping the twins from joining in. In fact, he was not sure if he would be able to refrain from joining in.

“Unfortunately, we haven’t done that yet. Perhaps you two can suggest an ideal time to get married,” Drakken replied.

Isabel rolled her emerald eyes because it was painfully obvious that he was attempting to butter them up. Shego groaned and wished that she could sink through the floor. Instead, she rubbed her temples and hoped that Drakken was somehow struck by lightning.

“Their perfect time was never,” Walter remarked. 

“It might’ve actually worked well for them,” Wallace commented.

“You two,” their mother barked at the twins. It was clear to see where Shego got the tone. The duo decided to be quiet because their mother was apparently was out of patience and it just was not wise to test her when she was that way.

“So, you haven’t picked a date yet? What about a location?” Jason inquired and earned around round of glares. He was trying to gage how serious Shego was about marrying the mouse of an inventor. There were billions of men out there and his daughter had to go find the one rodent in men’s clothing. He could not believe it. 

“We didn’t think about that,” Drakken replied.

“Well, what about supporting Shego? You can do that?” her father asked since they did not have anything else worked out. He wondered what even made the scientist propose if he did not have so many details worked out.

“Yes, I’m a brilliant inventor that’s worked on several military projects—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jason cut the doctor off because he really could not take another one of the man’s rants. In fact, he was certain that if the doctor went into any more rambling, he would be the one to hit the man before his sons jumped in. And he was the patient one in the family most of the time. Of course, that said a lot about the Gooding family when he was considered the patient one. “You know, there’s more to supporting a woman like Shego than in regards to money,” her father commented.

Shego was stunned by her father’s words. She had never heard him sound so profound on his own and possibly even self-aware. Not to mention, she had never heard him sound so concerned for her either. She was perplexed as to why he would say such a thing, like he knew something about her. Drakken seemed just as bemused as his girlfriend was by the words. 

-8-8-8-8-

“Okay, okay, okay. Just no,” Jason said as he paced the bedroom. He was in pajama pants, but no shirt. He was exceptionally well built, especially for a man his age. Isabel was lying on their large bed. She watched him with an amused look on her face. He might be the patient on in the house, but he panicked easily once his patience was up.

“Dearest, that wasn’t even a sentence,” she pointed out for her alarmed husband. 

“You talk to that girl. You talk to her and you tell her no way,” he practically ordered his wife while pointing at the door for no reason at all.

“Sweetheart, you have to be more specific,” she said, teasing him slightly. He was a little drunk after having quite a few drinks through out the meal and dessert. If he were not such a big fellow, he probably would have passed out by now.

“She’s not marrying that … that … I don’t even know what that is. What is he? What kind of guy is that?” he inquired, shouting slightly. He was very worked up by the sheer audacity of that man.

Jason was insulted by the fact that Drakken acted as though he knew everything when it was clear that he knew very little on most things outside of his areas of expertise. The scientist was so self-important. To Jason, that man obviously did not know and probably could not begin to fathom what it would mean to be married to Shego. He did not even understand why his daughter would humor such a thought. Was she out of her ever-loving mind?

“Dearest, if I knew what kind of man he was, I would tell you,” Isabel replied. The only thing keeping her from going and actually slapping her daughter to knock some sense into her was the fact that she knew assaulting Shego would only egg her own. She was looking to be upsetting and it was working very well, Isabel thought.

“What is she doing? What is this? Just what is this?” Jason demanded to know. Yeah, if Shego was looking to be upsetting, it was seriously working.

“Jason, just come to bed. You’re all over the map now. You’re just way too worked up,” Isabel stated.

“Of course, I’m worked up! Our daughter is looking to marry a … a…” He could not even think of a word to sum up the anger that he felt toward the man.

“Asshole,” Isabel offered to fill in her husband’s insult. She knew that he was searching for some large, cumbersome word that most people probably did not even know the meaning of, but she felt that cuss words always worked best when looking to insult someone. He thought otherwise, but she could care less. 

“Thank you,” he said, showing that he would take the profane word and call the man what he was. “Why is she marrying him? What can he do for her?” he pled.

“Jason, if only you were this interested in her life ten years ago,” Isabel muttered. Twenty years ago, his interest would have been even more appreciated, her mind added.

Isabel pondered what was motivating their daughter to even consider marrying Drakken. She noticed from the brief time that they were together that the onyx-eyed doctor only seemed to get on Shego’s always raw nerves, as he should since he was such an irksome individual. He was haughty over nothing as far as the family could tell. Okay, he was a scientist, but big freaking deal. There were thousands of scientists, maybe millions, in the world. Hey, they knew a girl that was a scientist and she was a pet, so it seemed like they would let any whacko into the scientific community. Not that Isabel said anything like that, even though she really wanted to just to shut him up and shut him down completely. 

She also did not mean any disrespect toward Kim for comparing her to Drakken. She liked Kim very much and as far as she was concerned, Drakken could not equal the girl on his best day or on her worst. Kim was a shining light in Shego’s dim world and Isabel hoped that her daughter acknowledged that sometime soon before making a foolish mistake.

“Dearest, please, come to bed,” Isabel implored Jason, patting the empty side next to her. She would not be able to sleep if he kept walking the room and she would then continue to think about the moronic move their daughter was about to make.

“You’ll talk to her?” Jason asked.

“I will talk to her,” she promised. 

Jason sighed. He stopped pacing and crawled into bed. He cuddled up next to his wife. It was something that they had not done in months, but no one would know that if they saw the couple now. He rested his head on her breasts and she caressed the side of his head to help calm him down.

“Doesn’t she know that he isn’t right for her?” Jason inquired.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that we haven’t set the best example,” she commented.

“What do you mean? I’m perfect for you.”

Isabel smiled a bit and kissed the side of his head. “Yes, you are. We just haven’t always shown that. They always see us at our wits end.” Of course, that was due to the fact that they were most imperfect perfect couple ever. 

“Do you think that’s why she’s doing this?” he asked curiously.

“I don’t really know, but I’ll talk to her and find out,” she replied. She really did want to know what was going through their daughter’s head to want to spend the rest of her life with a man that she noticeably could not stand. She did not even like talking about him. Really, what in the hell made her think that she could be married to Drakken?

“If they remain engaged and actually pick a date and a location and set everything up, do I have to attend?” he wondered out loud and she laughed.

“Yes, you have to attend. Imagine what the reporters would say if they found out you didn’t go to your only daughter’s wedding,” she replied, making sure to put it in terms that would matter the most to him. She knew that it was unfortunate that his image meant more to him than the fact that their daughter would be getting married.

He groaned. “Say it for me,” he requested.

Isabel smiled; she enjoyed life when they got along. Too bad they did not get along often. “Damn politics,” she cursed his profession for him.

“Thank you.”

She chuckled a bit more; he was so amusing without meaning to be. If only they could always be as they were, they both thought. They were so perfect for each other, but they were also the worst for each other. They both tended to know what the other needed and wanted. Regrettably, they did not always need or want the same things and at the same times and conflicts arose. They were both too strong-willed for each other, too stubborn, too selfish to remain happy together for long. 

-*-(New day)-*-

Isabel woke up early the next morning and sought out her daughter. She firstly came across the twins, who were playing video games on the big, plasma television in the living room. She would have left them alone if she were not so sure that they had not gone to bed yet.

“Wally, sleep,” Isabel ordered from the living room entrance.

“We just woke up,” they lied simultaneously.

“Twenty-five hours ago, right?” she guessed.

“That’s like just waking up,” Walter argued.

“Exactly like it,” Wallace concurred.

“So much like it that you’re going to bed now,” Isabel commanded.

The twins groaned and turned off the game. Why was it they had come home again, they wondered. Oh, right, they had been under the impression that there would be a sexy redhead in a collar. What a gyp! They went off to their room after informing their mother that their loser sister was outside if she was looking for Shego.

“Don’t call your sister a loser,” Isabel ordered the retreating pair. 

“Why not? It’s what she is,” Walter replied.

“Yeah, look at the doofus she’s dating,” Wallace commented. They had lost all respect for their sister overnight. It was a record. It had taken almost a decade for them to lose all respect for Hego. They never had much respect for Mego, but then again they never really paid him much mind. Still, it had taken them a long while to lose the little respect that they had for the guy.

Isabel actually did not argue or correct her youngest sons. She just pointed up the stairs, silently ordering them to bed. They went to their room and she went outside. She found Shego sitting on the veranda, smoking a cigarette. Isabel sat down next to her daughter.

“Got an extra?” Isabel requested. From last night’s surprise, she thought a cigarette just might help in some way.

“Since when do you smoke? You used to bitch at me about it,” Shego replied.

“Dearest, you flicked a lit one at me,” Isabel pointed out.

“Mommy, you crushed a pack of them in my hand,” the younger woman commented while handing her mother a cigarette. She made a small flame with her index finger and lit the cigarette for her mother.

“So…” Isabel took a long drag from her cigarette. She obviously knew how to smoke, which was strange since she was all “your body is temple.” Shego hated that there was still new things to learn about her mother. Isabel knew that, but she hated that there were still new things to learn about her daughter, so they were even. “Marriage?” the older woman simply inquired.

“Don’t do this,” Shego ordered. She knew a lecture coming when she heard one and she really did not feel like sitting through a talking as if she were ten-years-old.

“It’s a big step.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“A _very_ big step,” Isabel emphasized. She doubted that she could ever make her daughter understand what it meant to be in a marriage. She had trouble coming to terms with it even now.

“So what?” Shego asked again. She knew what she was doing … right? Yeah, of course she knew what she was doing, she convinced herself.

“Shego, you shouldn’t do this to prove that you can tolerate an asshole.”

“Isn’t that why you married Dad?” Shego retorted. Her mother had no right to talk to her about being with assholes as far as she was concerned.

Isabel laughed out loud. She played with her cigarette for a second, rolling it between her thumb and forefinger. She looked rather amused by the question, her daughter noted. Shego thought that her mother was bluffing, though.

“You want to be like me, firefly? Is that it?” Isabel inquired calmly. “It’s quite flattering. In fact, you know that’s just want I want. So, you want to be like me, firefly?” She knew deep down that her daughter should not be like she was. Her child needed to be better than she was in so many ways and she was certain Kim could help Shego do that.

“Hell, no,” Shego replied vehemently. Why would she want to be like an infuriating, psychotic bitch, her mind demanded to know.

“I figured as much. You shouldn’t be with a man you can’t stand,” Isabel commented, even though she knew her daughter would believe that she was hypocritical.

“Mommy, what the fuck are you even talking about? You can’t stand Dad for eleven and a half out of twelve months.”

“Sweetie, I know how things might look with me and your father, but it’s really not as horrible as it looks. Actually, that shit is nowhere near as horrible as it looks,” the older female commented with a slight chuckle. She doubted anything could be as bad as how her marriage had to look. “I know that we fight all of the time, but … your father and I love each other.”

Shego scoffed. She could not believe that her mother would stand there and tell that lie like that with a straight face. Not just a straight face, but she actually looked quite serious. 

“Yeah, right. No wonder I don’t believe in love,” the green-hued woman remarked.

“I didn’t believe much in it either, but I love that guy and he loves me. We’re just too different for our love to overcome everything like in fairy tales. We’re too similar to get along for a decent amount of time. But, if you stop and think about, we’ve got to love each other just a bit. I mean, we’ve been married for thirty years. I’ve been with the man since I was seventeen and the worst part of it is I’ve been the one always trying to push him away, especially when we were younger. When he played football, I always would tell him to get the hell away from me, to go hang out with his friends, his fans, or his teammates, just somebody that wasn’t me. Hell, a few times, I’d even tell him to go hang out with some cheerleaders. He liked being with me, though. I never understood why,” Isabel commented with a light laugh.

“He’s obviously a crazy masochist.” 

“That he may just be. But, remember how last night, he said to Drakken that there’s more to supporting you than money?”

“Yeah, so?” Shego asked, not seeing where her mother was going with any of her words. She did not care to hear anything about her parents’ past or anything like that. She wished that her mother would just leave her alone.

“He thinks you’re a lot like me. You’re very independent and just a bit crazy,” the mother stated.

“Mommy, he doesn’t support you. He drives you fucking nuts and then he drives you away,” the younger woman pointed out.

“He gives me my space. Jason is probably the only man on the damn planet that could deal with me for all of this time. After all, for the first few years of our marriage, he was pretty much Mr. Isabel Gooding, despite the fact that I took his damn last name. He messed up his knee and he didn’t have anything to fall back on for a long while. He lived in my shadow for so long, but he never resented me for my success. It’s a hard thing for a man, especially one like him to do that. He never told me to stop doing what I was doing. Sure, after a while, he would yell that I needed to be home more often and he was right about that, but he never asked me to seriously change. In all of our years together, we never mentioned divorce. Sure, we’ve hollered more than our fair share of ‘get the hell out’ and a lot of other insults, but never thought about divorce. We’ve also never hit each other.” 

“What’s your fucking point, Mommy?” Shego asked. It was too early in the morning for her mother to be beating around the bush. She had too much on her mind too for her mother to be trying to confuse the crap out of her.

“My fucking point is this: you shouldn’t marry a man that doesn’t understand you and doesn’t know what the hell he’s getting into. With me, Jason knew how the hell I was, so he understood and he understands that he needs to back the fuck off sometimes.”

“Mommy, you can’t possibly be sitting here and making it seem like you and Dad have a happy marriage. That’s complete and utter bullshit,” the daughter commented.

“It’s happy for spans of time. It’s working is my point. We’re still together despite of all the bullshit. Why is that? Because we handle each other’s bullshit a little better than we handle others and probably a hell of a lot better than others would handle ours. Could you handle Drakken’s bullshit for thirty years? Could he handle it if you had to leave for three months to avoid ripping his intestines out? Hell, would you even hesitate after a while in ripping his intestines out?” Isabel inquired.

There were times when Isabel wanted to just pulverize Jason until he was unrecognizable and she knew that there were times when he just wanted to do the same, but they never acted on those feelings. She typically left the house when those feelings overcame her. He usually drank when those ideas were eating at him. They were bad for each other, they knew, but they were so great for short bursts. She could not see Shego and Drakken having that.

Shego thought about things for a moment. She had to admit that even though her parents seemed to hate each other’s guts and they screamed at each other all of the time, she had never seen either of them try to hit each other. Her mother could probably hurt her father if she did hit him and he could probably hurt her if he could lay a hand on her. No matter how angry they got, though they might flex their hands, but they never touched each other in a harmful manner.

Shego, however, had hit Drakken quite a few times already. It was not even an almost fair fight like it would be if her parents ever got the idea to hit each other. She could take the cerulean doctor down with no problem. If her parents had ever had a serious fight, it probably would have been a clash-of-the-titans type of rumble.

Now, her parents were nuts. They were seriously, full flung, due-for-the-funny-farm bonkers, out-of-their-freaking-already-maniacal-minds, but they were still together. She sometimes assumed that they stayed together because they had five kids, but offspring hardly ever seemed to blip on their radar screens a good deal of the time. Other times, she thought that they just stayed together to annoy each other, but that seemed just ignorant and no matter how nuts they were, they were not ignorant.

“Do you think Drakken could stand being married to you after a while?” Isabel asked when her daughter did not respond to the other questions. 

“This is his idea,” Shego replied.

“What the hell kind of answer is that? You must have brain damage or trauma or something because you don’t just follow people. I remember when you were a kid and you were hanging out with Betty, she would have to practically hit you over the head with a bat to get you to do something, even if it was a good idea, even if you wanted to do it anyway. You used to be as stubborn as a deaf mule and now you’re going with ‘this is his idea’? Could he actually stand being married to you?”

The younger woman frowned. “I’m not following anything. This was his idea. His. I’m doing my own thing.”

“Well, for the sake of your own thing, think about that man’s ego and then think about when you enter a room,” her mother suggested just for her to get an idea if that teal maniac could handle being married to her.

The younger woman thought about it. She was something like her mother when she stepped into a room. They commanded attention just by arriving and people noticed them immediately. Shego had been to a gathering once with her parents and noticed how people barely registered that her father was even there. It was one of her father’s problems. He was married to a woman that hollered, “I’m important, you want to talk to me” without saying a word. It had to crush him on the inside, but he took it. He accepted it. He acted as if it was normal when she witnessed it.

Drakken probably would not take it. He would get all huffy about everything. He would get on her nerves about things and pester her as to who people were and why they wanted to speak with her. He had already did things like that and got on her nerves.

“Shego, your father and I aren’t perfect and you know this shit better than anybody, but we wanted to be with each other and only each other. Maybe we bugged out and thought differently at times, but we always come crawling back to each other before he does something stupid as hell or I just fucking snap. We make each other so miserable because we have the potential to make each other so happy, which we do every so often. You should learn from our incredibly fucked up relationship and try harder than we have. I mean, obviously we could’ve done better. You should be with someone that has the potential to make you happy and fulfills that potential more often than not. You should be with someone who you want to come home to at the end of the day every day. Someone that insists that you be glad they’re there because they’re glad you’re there—”

“I know what you’re trying to say,” Shego grumbled with angry frown.

“I’m sure you do,” Isabel said since her daughter was far from dim-witted. She did not see why her daughter was putting herself through so much trouble. Was it so important to her to be straight? Or was it that she saw it as such a bad thing to simply need to be with Kim? Or was it that she was truly trying to be the way that she perceived her parents’ relationship? None of it made any sense to her mother.

“What you’re hinting at isn’t going to happen,” the younger woman stated soundly.

“Why the hell not? You’re willing to give her up to marry this Drakken bastard? And you know I mean that in the nicest way possible. If you’re willing to do that, then he must be very special to you. If he is so special to you, so dear to you, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll convince your father that this is what you want, we’ll come to the wedding and possibly behave, but probably not, and then I’ll sit around and wait for grandchildren to screw up,” Isabel remarked with a small smirk.

“Grandchildren?” Shego echoed and a stricken look overtook her face. _Oh, hell, no!_ She was not having any children, especially not by Drakken.

“Well, what else do you get married for? You want to have innocent little minds that you can alter to your own beliefs,” the older woman quipped.

“Mommy, don’t even say that because with the job you and Dad did makes it seem true.”

“You five aren’t that bad. You’re all still alive, despite being insane. You’re all living on your own with halfway decent jobs. And you’re all fairly happy, except for when we all get together. The best part of it, no one has any serious criminal records. I’ve seen worse parenting jobs,” Isabel commented.

“Yeah, well, I’ve seen better.”

“Where, at Betty’s house?” Isabel scoffed, rolling her eyes. She was not knocking Betty’s family, but she would never admit that that madhouse was better than their madhouse.

“Fine, whatever,” Shego yielded right then and there.

Her mother had a point, as much as she hated to admit it. She and her idiotic brothers could have been worse off than they were. Sure, they hated each other pretty intensely, but that was not really their mother’s fault. Besides, their lives could have been much worse. They always had good food, nice clothes, and almost anything else that a child growing up could need and want, except for a mother that was there twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and an open-minded, supportive father. But, those were two different problems.

“Just think about everything I’ve said. Think about your future. Think about the other people involved before you act. Now, I’m going to make breakfast,” Isabel said as she finished off her cigarette. Then she had a thought. “If he plays with my food this morning, I’m going to dislocate his shoulder,” she warned her daughter.

“He’s a guest,” Shego said halfheartedly.

“He’s a pest,” she corrected her daughter. She really could care less if the man was a damn king. No one made her cooking seem offensive.

Shego did not argue. She did not say anything, even though she did not doubt her mother’s word. If Drakken did play with his food again, she was certain that her mother would make good on her threat and dislocate his shoulder. And if she did, Shego decided already that she did not care. The food was good, so she did not know what his problem was.

-8-8-8-8-

After breakfast, everyone started to get ready to return to their homes. Drakken had narrowly escaped the meal without injury because, once he noticed Isabel glaring at him, he began quietly eating. Shego and Drakken were the first to leave the house. The move probably saved his life.

The green-skinned female noticed that her mother had made no motions to get her things together, so she guessed that her parents were together for the moment. She was willing to bet that by summertime, they would be separated again. The twins were of a like mind on that matter, which was why they refused to bet her on the issue.

Shego could not believe her mother of all people was trying to give her relationship advice. Her parents could barely stay together for a whole year. In fact, their record was probably just a year. She silently admitted that her parents never muttered the word divorce, even though they seemed to get extremely sick of each other. It was a strange relationship, but she would never want something like that. She would not want to be like her parents.

“Your family seemed … nice,” Drakken commented and Shego glanced at him. She knew that he would rather say something else and she would have respected his honesty than his trying to get on her good side. After all, she hated that maniacal bunch and she made that clear by never wanting to talk about them, but he seemed to miss that fact. 

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: it’s the end of the world as we know it.


	29. Dilemma Twenty-nine: Better off dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.
> 
> Two chapters to go. Thanks to everyone that reviewed.

Dilemma Twenty-nine: Better off dead

_Son of a bitch! That’s not even strong enough. Fucking hell! No, still doesn’t cover it. Shit, damn, motherfucking bitch-ass bastard! No, still not doing. Unbe-fucking-lievable!_

Shego stared down at the ring that Drakken had given her a few hours ago. It was still in its box and it did not look like she had any plans to open the container. It was the same ring from Valentine’s Day, except he had finally gotten it adjusted. It should fit her ring finger now. She had not tried it on yet and she was not making any moves to do so.

Drakken had not pressured her to try the ring on when he had given it to her, mostly because he was in a rush. He had a project that he needed to get back to and, apparently, he was eager to return to his work. She was glad that he did not have time for her to try it on right in front of him, but she bet that he would call or even come by to know if it fit or not. She was going to have to put it on sooner or later. She continued to stare down at the little piece of jewelry.

 _Nothing so small should mean so much_ , the pale woman thought as she swallowed down a lump in her throat. Nothing with such little weight should have such impact. It was not like a ring was a meteor, but it certainly seemed that way. It appeared so innocent, just a simple circle. It was a lie. There was nothing innocent about it and it should not look that way, in her opinion anyway. It was nothing more than a lie. 

“What’s that you got there?” Kim asked as she seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was just that her mistress had not been paying her any mind at all, which she did not like, of course, especially since she had been being ignored all day in her opinion.

“Where the hell did you come from?” Shego demanded while jumping because her pet had startled her.

“The loft,” the redhead answered in a “duh” type of voice. Where else was she going to come from? It was not like she could appear out of thin air, even though she thought that it would be cool if she could. Her master was asking some very strange questions in her opinion.

“Well, make some fucking noise next time,” the green-skinned female barked, earning an odd look from the slender adventurer. Since when did either of them make noise while walking around, Kim wondered.

“So, what’s that?” the olive-eyed girl asked in a very curious tone, referring to the little case in her master’s hands.

“None of your fucking business,” Shego replied while hiding the box in her hands, even though her little brat had already seen it. If only she could erase the monster’s memory, she thought.

“Let me see!” Kim requested with an enthusiastic grin.

“No,” the elder woman answered bluntly.

“Come on!” the redhead whined. 

“No.”

“Why not?” Kim wailed.

“Because it’s none of your business.”

“Let me see,” the eager hero requested again while reaching for the box.

Shego grunted and held off her curious and rather playful pet. She hated that the girl always had so much energy and swore everything was a joke of some kind. Kim was not put off and continued to grab for the small case that her mistress was holding. They rolled around on the sofa for a while until Shego accidentally dropped the box to grab her mischievous pet with both hands. Kim chuckled. Apparently, she was having a really good time. She managed to get out of her mistress’ hold rather quickly.

“I got it!” the jovial redhead called as she leaped off of the couch to go for the disregarded package. 

“No, you don’t,” Shego declared and she caught her pet’s legs. Kim slammed into the carpeted floor.

“Ow!” the pet coughed as her chest hit the carpet.

“Little brat,” the green-skinned female commented as she slowly rose off of the sofa, thinking that she had her monster. She had forgotten that her pet was not the average girl for a moment and that was about to cost her.

Kim snickered and grabbed her owner’s leg, tripping the older woman. Shego yelped as she went down and the slim adventurer crawled over to the box as quickly as she could. She smiled in triumph as she picked up the prize and tried to stand up.

“Put it down!” Shego ordered and she tackled her brat like they were playing professional football as the girl was going to open the case.

Kim grunted as she was hit around the waist, dropping the jewelry case as she fell. They landed on her box, completely crushing the cardboard fortress. Shego growled in anger, but Kim was laughing. It had been a while she was able to just play around with her owner and she was enjoying it. The pet eventually looked at her mistress’ face and realized that the officer was being very serious. 

“Don’t touch it!” the emerald-eyed woman snarled.

Kim ceased smiling instantly. Why was the pale woman so worked up? She thought that they were fooling around, so she did not see why her master was so upset with her. She looked on the floor for where the box might have landed, planning to return it once she got up, so that her mistress would not longer be angry with her. She spotted the container very quickly.

The box was lying a few feet away from them. The case was open and its contents peacefully resting next to it. A ring. Her owner had gotten all fired up over a ring? She turned her attention back to her master and then it hit her like a knock out punch.

It was no longer lying there peacefully. That ring was like a virus now, marching into the hero’s system, infecting her, and murdering everything inside of her. It was as if she was a small country and that ring had just killed her whole population in one shot.

“You’re going to marry him,” Kim realized. Had she been standing up, she would have fallen over. It was an engagement ring and that was why her master was acting like it was highly classified information.

“Princess,” Shego said in a neutral tone, trying her best to make it seem like it was not such a big deal anymore.

“You’re actually going to marry him,” the redhead muttered, speaking more to herself than her owner. She could not believe it. The being known as Kim Possible felt like she had been ripped apart by a million wild horses and the remains trampled by another million horses. She felt defeated for the first time in her life. 

Kim did not say anything further. She crawled out from under the older woman and stood up. Shego turned around as her pet climbed to her feet. The olive-eyed girl stared at her master in total disbelief. It was over. It was done. He had won. He was the winner. He was going to get to stay with her forever.

The thoroughly crushed hero did not say anything as she marched back to her loft, hiding the fact that she felt completely and soundly defeated. The green-skinned female watched her pet withdraw from the living room, but she did not know that the room was not the only place that Kim planned on leaving. The redhead retrieved her Kimmunicator from her area and grabbed her coat. She climbed back down and grabbed her sneakers.

“Princess, where are you going?” Shego demanded.

Kim did not answer. She just glanced at her master, hoping that the eternal, excruciating agony that she was now in did not show in her olive gaze. She did not have to answer this woman anymore _. No, definitely not anymore_. _Never again_.

She marched to the door and opened it. Oddly enough, Drakken was standing right there. He was posed to knock. Kim laughed a little bit because of his always brilliant timing. It was a hollow, soulless noise that came from her throat.

“She’s all yours,” the slender hero informed him as she pushed by the doctor to leave what used to be her own personal Heaven and was now certainly her own personal Hell. It was like the place that she had been executed from the way that she felt. 

“Pumpkin!” Shego called to the girl as she ran to the door. She practically flung Drakken out of the way as if he was worthless trash, but Kim was ready gone. “Damn it,” she growled.

“Shego, what’s going on?” Drakken inquired. He had just come to check on her and the ring and now he was being flung around for no reason.

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” Shego replied. Her little pest would come back, she told herself. After all, all of her stuff was still in the loft and she did not have any place to go. She needed Shego, so she would be back. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim stared at the building that held her mistress’ apartment for a moment. She had jumped out of an open window in the hall to make a very speedy getaway. Most people would have considered it a stupid move since her master did live on the top floor, but that was nothing to her, of course. It was only the fourth floor, she had thought as she leaped to get away from that damned place. She then started down the street with no destination in mind.

It was cold and windy outside. Just her luck, she thought. _Some beginning of spring_ , she grumbled in her head. Well, now she had to figure out where she was going to go for the night at least. Yori and Ron were the first people that came to mind. She hoped that it was all right if she borrowed their sofa for the night. She called to find out.

“Hey, K.P. What’s up?” Ron asked.

“Place to say,” Kim requested.

“What do you need a place to stay for? You’ve got a home,” he pointed out. He knew that she did not own where she lived, but it was certainly home in his opinion if she stayed there for as long as she did. 

“Not anymore,” she answered in a heated tone that quivered ever so slightly. She wasted no time snapping off the collar that was around her neck. She violently chucked it into the first trashcan that she came across. _Screw being a pet to heartless bitch_ , she thought heatedly.

“No? Why not?” he asked, detecting some sorrow in his best friend’s voice, even though she was trying her best to hide the fact that she was wounded in her heart and soul.

“I’ll explain it some other time when I’m not so fucking pissed,” she answered.

Kim really wanted to be more angry than hurt, but the reason that she was so upset was because she was so absolutely damaged. Her heart and spirit were critically injured, possibly beyond repair. She might always feel the way that she did, she considered. It was as if she had been split open and she was walking around with all of her internal organs hanging out for the world to see.

“Okay. Well, our door’s always open to you. Come on over. We’re having takeout from Mexippon,” the blonde informed her.

“The Mexican/Japanese restaurant?”

“You know it!” he cheered.

“Goodie,” she muttered sarcastically. “I’ll be there in like a half hour.”

“Cool.” 

They disconnected the call and Kim started to walk to Ron’s apartment. She tried not to think about her wounded pride, her bleeding ego, her dried up soul, and her extremely dead heart. If Shego wanted Drakken, fine, she could have him. She could have him and be driven mad by him or murder him. Whatever tickled her fancy, but Kim would no longer give a damn. Well, that was what she told herself anyway.

It was not fair, Kim silently lamented as her eyes filled with tears. She was the one that made Shego happy. She was the one that understood the pale woman. She was the one willing to sacrifice anything for the raven-haired beauty. She was the one that the emerald-eyed female trusted completely. It was all her. So, why in the end did Drakken get the girl? _Why!_

That blue dolt was no kind of knight in shining armor. He was not some new-age sensitive guy or anything like that. He was not even the boy-next-door. He was nobody. He was nothing. Yet, he was the one that had won. He was the one that was going to get be with Shego always. He was the one that Shego chose. It hurt her just as much as it pissed her off, which hurt her more, which pissed her off more. It was just an unending cycle the more she thought about it.

Kim punched a building that she was going by. She punched it with all of her might because of her fury and anguish. _Why_ , her mind and heart demanded to know and then she hit the building again, as if it was his face. The physical pain of hitting stone did not even register to her grieving mind.

Why not her, she wondered as tears flowed down her face like thin streams. Why was he better than she was? How could he possibly beat her? _How_ , her mind demanded with a vicious snarl. She had done everything that should have made it her. So, why was it not her? She wanted reasons, but she dare not ask the one person that held the answers. She would never go back there, ever.

“Never,” she hissed aloud, as if that made it the stone cold truth.

If Shego wanted him, then she could have him. He was all hers and she was all his. Kim told herself not to care. It would be easier to not care. It would not hurt if she just did not care. But, of course, she did care. She cared so much that she felt like she was going to throw up because she was the one that was rejected. Instead of throwing up, she continued to weep and she punched a few more buildings. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim lay on Ron’s sofa, staring at the ceiling in the dark. It was late and she should be sleeping, but she could not. More tears were quietly creeping down her face and her mind was still plagued with questions.

How could she pick Drakken? How could she agree to marry him? Did that woman just not know what that would do to her? She would have to be with him everyday. She would have to listen to him everyday, look at him everyday, sleep next to him every night, and not kill him through all of that. She would have to tell him her secrets, show him her tears, and cuddle him when the day went every way but right. She would have to depend on him emotionally.

“And she calls me stupid,” Kim muttered. Only a true idiot would voluntarily lean on Drakken for emotional support. He could not even figure out how his own emotions work, so he definitely would have no idea where to begin with someone like Shego.

Maybe Shego was right, the heartbroken hero considered. Maybe she was stupid for assuming that her mistress would be smart enough to choose her over the demanding, frigid moron. Maybe she was stupid for loving her mistress, but it was not like she had could help that. She loved whom she loved. She could not tell her heart, soul, spirit, body, and mind to halt in loving Shego anymore than she could pull the moon from the sky. Apparently, she could not do everything. 

-8-8-8-8-

Ron and Yori were worried about Kim. They had assumed that her nomadic days were behind her now that she figured out what she wanted to do with her life, but obviously not. They did not know what to think, but they both noticed how Kim appeared to be crying when she arrived at their door. They guessed that something happened with Shego, but Kim would not say if that was it. Kim had not said anything. She had not even muttered that she did not want to talk about it.

“Do you suppose Shego released Kim?” Yori asked Ron; they were lying in bed. They would have been sleeping hours ago if they were not so concerned for the redhead that was camped out on their couch. At least if she had said something, they might have been able to sleep, but now their minds were just going a mile a minute trying to figure out what was going on. 

“I don’t know. She was missing a collar,” Ron replied, pointing to his neck.

The blond had noticed Kim’s bare neck almost as fast as someone would spot a huge tattoo on his friend’s forehead. It seemed odd for her to not have on a collar. It got to the point that her neck just looked funny to him. Yeah, they had hit a new level of weirdness if Kim lacking a collar was something that stood out, he was very aware of that fact.

“I noticed that, too,” Yori said.

“It’s weird, though. I mean, Kim’s never really had a problem Shego, except for that one time she kissed her and the time Shego freaked out about Kim because she was Kim. They seemed to get along pretty good. I mean, I’d guess that’s part of the reason that K.P has no problem being the woman’s pet and everything. So, what could be so bad that K.P doesn’t even want to talk about?” 

“What if Shego found a new pet,” the ninja proposed.

“I dunno. I mean, can there be a better pet than Kim Possible, aside from Rufus anyway?” he wondered aloud. The scary thing was that part of him was being serious with that.

“Perhaps she’ll be more willing to discuss the issue in the morning,” the Japanese woman offered.

“I dunno. Whatever happened seems pretty deep. We might have to hope K.P is even still here in the morning.”

“Oh, that is correct,” she agreed. She had forgotten that Kim was known for leaving places at the break of dawn.

The couple did not cease in pondering what might have gone on with their friend and her owner. They knew that it had to have something to do with Kim’s status as a pet because she no longer had on her collar and she did seem to be crying when she had arrived. All they could think was that Shego threw Kim out, but they did not see why she would do that after all of the time that the pair had been together.

They tried to think of reasons why the green-hued female might get rid of the hero and they considered maybe Kim crossed the line in some way, but they could not figure how or why she might do that. The only time that Kim crossed the line was when she put her tongue in her owner’s mouth and that was due to the fact that she got a little overzealous and she really did not see herself as a pet at the time since they were outside separately.

Now, Kim always saw herself as the pet, inside, outside, whether she had come out with her mistress or not. So, they could not imagine her doing anything so inappropriate that would result in her being kicked out of her home now. They just could not figure out what might have happened. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim was gone by first light. She just could not sleep, so she did not see the point in taking up space at her friend’s house. They did not need her in the way and they did not need her bringing down their moods. She did not want to be around anybody right now with the way that she felt because she believed that she would only harsh their mellows and she was not looking to do that. 

The redhead did not know where she was going to go now that she was homeless once again. She did not know where she should go since she did not want to bother anyone with her mood. She felt so lost. She felt so lonely.

She did not have anybody at home anymore. She did not even have a home anymore. All of those intangibles that she had learned to appreciate while living with Shego were gone. She was back to feeling like she was going to throw up thanks to those realizations.

The hero had actually never experienced something so painfully emotionally that it made her feel physically sick. She could only imagine how deeply she actually cared for that raven-haired harpy. She never waned to care for someone so much ever again if it meant she would have to feel like she did now if something went wrong. 

-8-8-8-8- 

Shego woke up that morning and climbed up to the loft to see that her girl had not come back. She told herself that it did not matter to her. She was going to have to get rid of the little brat sometime soon anyway. She just hoped that her idiotic monster remembered to come back for all of her stuff and then she was just going to have to find some other place to live. Besides, it was not like she needed the little freeloader.

“Liar…” that evil, little voice in the back of her mind hissed.

Shego ignored the noise and went to make some breakfast. Drakken had stayed the night and he would want some food when he woke up. She made pancakes, just in case her pet decided to show up. She would like the pancakes if she came in, so Shego made them with cinnamon just the way her pest liked them. Kim could actually eat over six pancakes with cinnamon, smiling all the way through the meal. Shego shook the thought away from her head. Her pet would be back, she told herself. She was sure that the girl would come back.

When the cerulean scientist sat down for breakfast, he did exactly what Kim would _not_ do when cinnamon pancakes were placed in front of her, he played with them. He then tasted them and complained that they tasted “funny” and nothing like regular flapjacks. Shego frowned and informed him that it might be because they were not regular pancakes.

“Then, what are they?” Drakken asked.

“They’ve got cinnamon in them,” Shego answered through gritted teeth.

“I don’t think like cinnamon,” he stated. 

The emerald-eyed woman scowled again. “You don’t say. Then what do you want for breakfast?”

“I’ll just take some cereal. Do you have any with marshmallows?”

The scowl deepened. He was passing on a homemade breakfast for cold cereal in a box with marshmallows? Shego was not sure what it would take to keep her from shoving the box down his throat or worse up his ass, but she would see as she went to retrieve some cereal. Her pet ate some junk with marshmallows, she recalled. He could have those. Maybe he would have them the way that he wanted or it would be the way that she wanted to give them to him. 

-*-(New Day)-*-

“Monique, when did you move in with Felix?” Kim asked as she entered the apartment. It was a comfortable-looking place with everything a reasonable size, especially for two people.

“A couple of weeks ago,” Monique answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“As you would say, so not the drama. It was a little experiment and I didn’t want to jinx it,” Monique explained as she shut the door.

“Makes sense. How’s it working out?”

“Really good. It’s like whoa,” the chocolate-eyed girl declared with a smile.

“It’s like whoa?” Kim echoed. It seemed that her friend had found her long desired relationship. The redhead was happy for her friend, of course, but it was a bit difficult for her to show that at the moment. 

“That’s the only way I can describe it. I mean, I really like being with him. He’s good company and I can talk to him, relate to him, he talks to me. He’s fun and he makes me laugh. He takes care of his business and treats me like a queen. He values my opinion and has no problem showing me that he cares a great deal about me,” Monique answered. “What more could a girl ask from a guy?”

Kim chuckled. “Oh, you really can’t describe it.”

“Oh, that doesn’t even scratch the surface. Not even close.”

“Your expression tells the story so much better,” the slender hero remarked. Her good friend was more than happy with her relationship with Felix. “You’re practically glowing. Where’s Felix?”

“Work. He’ll be home in a few hours.”

“You don’t have class today?”

“If I did, obviously I’d be at school and not about to hear your problem,” Monique answered.

“My problem?”

“Ron and Yori already told me you occupied their sofa a couple of nights ago. Where’d you spend last night?” the African-American young woman demanded in an almost motherly tone. She was all too aware that her friend was not scared to curl up on a park bench or sleep on the subway or even just right on the sidewalk.

“In the Alps, stopping a man trying to blow the mountains up for some reason,” Kim answered.

“Maybe he can’t ski. So, where’s your collar?” Monique seemed to ask out of the blue, but it was just an ambush tactic.

“Huh?” Kim was caught off guard just as her friend wanted.

“Your collar, where is it?”

“I lost it,” the olive-eyed young woman replied in an unsure tone.

“Don’t lie. You know you’re not very good at it, girl,” the wavy-haired female scolded her close friend while wagging a finger at Kim.

“Fine, I threw it away,” the hero admitted with a pout. Her shoulders slumped. 

“Why?” Monique asked as she led Kim to the sofa. They sat down because Monique figured that they would have a very long talk.

“Because I don’t belong to Shego anymore,” the redhead answered in a mumble. She really did not want to talk about it. Talking about it only made her feel more like her insides was falling right out of her body.

“You don’t belong to her anymore?” Monique asked. She guessed that translated into her being thrown out in normal people’s talk. It was indeed a strange day when Monique was the one translating what Kim was talking about.

The redhead looked away and bit her lip. She honest and truly did not wish to talk about it. It hurt so much. It felt like her body had been drained of all of her organs, blood, and bones. She was not even sure how she had managed to pull off that mission yesterday. She was not even sure how she could stand up anymore.

“She’s going to marry Drakken,” the hero explained while holding back tears. She had already cried so much and she would not do it again, she ordered herself. She would not give Shego anymore of her tears. She would not give her former mistress anything ever again. It just was not worth it.

“She’s going to marry Drakken?” Monique echoed and shook her head because she could not believe it.

The fashion diva did not see how Shego would ever consider marrying someone when Kim was so devoted and damn near hopelessly in love with her. Did Shego not know how much Kim cared about her? How much Kim wanted her and wanted to be with her? Kim was willing to be the woman’s pet for crying out loud just to stay with her, so the woman had to be stupid if she did not know how Kim felt. And if she did know, then what she was doing was just cruel, in the cocoa-eyed female’s opinion.

“She is,” Kim confirmed that the green-skinned woman was getting married.

“Well, maybe she—” Monique started to say, but Kim injected. 

“What, could keep me? No, she couldn’t. Let’s be realistic. She threw me away again. She just threw me away…”

“Kim, girl, she didn’t throw you away.”

“She lied to me. She lied.” Kim was now struggling to keep her tears at bay, but they were dripping down her face anyway because her eyes were filled with salty water. 

“Kim, it’s okay,” Monique said while hugging her brokenhearted, distressed friend.

“She lied to me. She said her door was always opened to me, always. But, that’s not true if she gets married to Drakken. I hate her, Monique. I hate her so much,” the redhead wept.

“You know you don’t hate her, girl. If you did, it wouldn’t hurt so much. Just give her some time. I bet she realizes that she needs you real soon. After all, you’re her Princess. You’re her girl. You’re the person that she can cry in front of. You’re the person she can be nice to. You’re the person that she can cuddle and she never thinks anything of it. You’re the person that she can spoil and baby. You were made for her,” Monique tried to comfort her friend.

“She doesn’t care.” Kim was convinced that her former master could care less than nothing about her. If she cared even just a bit, she would never think to marry that bothersome blue dolt. If she cared even a little, she would at least allow things to stay as they were forever. She would have remained a pet as long as she could stay, but obviously that meant nothing to her ex-master. Shego could not possible care, Kim concluded.

“She does care. Give her some time to miss you and she’ll realize it. She will,” Monique promised and she truly believed that. Knowing what she knew about Kim and knowing what she knew about Drakken thanks to Ron and Kim, there was just no way in her mind for Shego to pick Drakken over Kim. Kim was, well, Kim, after all.

They just needed to give it time, Monique thought. Kim was skeptical because she had already given Shego so much time. Sure, she could do anything, but she felt now that it was best to stop waiting on a confused woman to make the right decision. It was time to move on, somehow. _I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but it must be done_.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Shego has a flashback of the last time she was without her pet. And is it time for an intervention or what?


	30. Dilemma Thirty: Back in the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.
> 
> One chapter left after this one. You have been warned.

Dilemma Thirty: Back in the day

_Why hasn’t she come back yet? She’d better be all right. If something that happened to her, I’ll … I’ll never forgive myself. I hate her making me feel this way. She’s nobody, just a useless, empty-headed kid. I shouldn’t care and I should want to kick her ass. But, all I want is for her to come home. This is her home._

Shego sat on her sofa, glancing at the loft every now and then. Her pet had not come back yet and it had been almost a week. She did not know what to think. She tried to be angry with the girl. She had tried her very best to be pissed off because she knew that was how she should feel. Instead, she just missed the girl and worried about her little monster. It made her think about when she had let Kim go the first time. 

-*-(Flashback)-*-

 Shego wandered into work after being without her pet for a month and some change. She was cranky, crankier than usual actually. She never noticed, but she was much huffier when she did not have someone to go home to.

Her good friend noticed, but she never said anything about it. She thought that it might offend her friend to suggest that she was not better off on her own, which the raven-haired woman kept swearing she was. Besides, Shego was always grouchy, after all. So, her boss did not think anything of the super-powered woman’s behavior. That was until Shego snapped. She just had to have a breaking point, Betty thought with a sigh.

The pale woman had gotten into an argument with a coworker. The guy eventually said something about her attitude and Shego cracked like thin ice on a pond. She verbally tore into him. Most people would have fled in terror or at least left deeply insulted from her profane language. He did not back down, though like most other people would. Shego was not deterred from him standing his ground and she was determined to win the battle.

How did Shego win? Well, she punched him in the abdomen with all of her might and then kicked him across the face as he bent down in pain. He was knocked unconscious, which was to be expected from a master martial artist like Shego. And she was summoned into the chief’s office. 

“Sit down, Shego,” Betty ordered in her business tone. She could not believe what she had to put up with when it came to the younger woman.

“Whatever,” the super-powered female scoffed and complied with the command while making sure to look as insulted as possible, as if she was the one that had been wronged. Her face was tense and she folded her arms across her chest. 

“Why are you here?” the one-eyed woman inquired. She could not believe her friend’s attitude. She would like to tell her to just grow up, but Shego would just flip out in a rage and she just did not feel like putting up with that.

“Who the fuck knows. Some bullshit more than likely, not like I give a shit,” the green-skinned woman replied. She was so sick of dealing with complete and utter morons, people that were not capable of doing half of the crap that she did and live to tell about it without a scratch on them, getting in her face like they were hot stuff. She was just sick of all of it.

“Shego, what’s wrong with you?” the boss asked patiently. She wished that she could just get on the phone and call up that brat and tell her to get her ass on back to Shego before the woman did something stupid … well, stupider. She wondered if Kim Possible would take on the mission of keeping Shego sane. 

“What’s wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s all of those fucking idiots that you recruited into this screwed up department. They’re complete, total fucking idiots,” the raven-haired woman declared with a growl.

It had come to the point where it seemed like every time that Shego opened her mouth, she was growling. And if she was not growling, she was scowling. She was just in a festering and foul mood and it was getting fouler by the second. It would not have been surprising to see black waves radiating off of her, the anger inside of her manifesting itself in a physical manner.

Doctor Director did not know what to do with the younger woman. She had never seen her friend so irritated just from waking up in the morning, it seemed. Her employee was practically unapproachable now, unless a person was willing to risk the bruises and burns anyway. Going up to Shego now was like going up to a rabid pit-bull that was hyped up on cocaine.

“Shego, you were arguing with the fucking guy because you didn’t want to move out his fucking way,” the chief pointed out with a deep frown. 

Doctor Director was obviously getting fed up with her friend. Shego was making everyone’s lives Hell. Some people were even calling in sick to not have to deal with her for the day. Hell, she had been tempted to not come in a couple of times to not have to deal with her super-powered employee. She bet that if Shego ever took a day off, the whole office would rejoice, herself included.

“He was in my damn way!” the younger woman argued. 

“You weren’t even going anywhere,” Betty growled that time. She wanted to grab Shego over her desk and just bitch slap her, but she doubted that would help the situation.

“Neither was he.”

“He was trying to get to his desk.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” 

Doctor Director sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose to help keep calm. It was getting more and more tempting to get on the phone and call that brat. Shego obviously needed help. She required something or someone to calm her down and to relax her. Who would have thought that spoiled brat served such a big purpose, Betty wondered. And to think, all that time, the one-eyed woman assumed that the girl was as useless as an extra toe.

“Shego, I’m suspending you,” Doctor Director informed her employee.

“You’re what?” Shego shouted and she punched the desk because of her anger, breaking it without any difficulty. 

“For two weeks,” Betty continued on. It was originally going to be for one week, but her desk cost a lot of money and her friend had just ruined it. Apparently, the pale woman needed a lot of time to cool off.

“Two weeks?” Shego shrieked in horror.

“You want to try for three?”

“Fuck you.”

“That’ll be good for three. The suspension starts immediately. Bye now,” Doctor Director said, dismissing the younger woman with a wave of her hand.

“You can’t fucking do this!”

“I just did. Bye.” 

“Bet—” Shego attempted to argue.

“Get out,” the one-eyed woman ordered. She did not even want to hear anything from her friend anymore. She did not even want to deal with the pale female anymore.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do for three fucking weeks?” the younger woman demanded to know.

“Straighten out your attitude for one.” 

“I don’t have a fucking attitude!”

“You’re being a bitch, more so than usual. In fact, calling you a bitch right now is like insulting bitches. Go cool off and then come back. Call in one of your mother’s favors and go to some tropical island. Lay on a beach for a few days. You need to relax. You need to unwind,” the chief suggested.

“I don’t.” 

“You do. Now, get the fuck out,” Doctor Director ordered in a calm tone.

Shego snarled and stormed out of the office. Believe it or not, Betty was glad to see her go. Shego was her best employee in regards to doing her assignments, but she was a problem to deal with. Her antisocial behavior was coming out too much recently and it was bringing everyone else down. If she did not straighten herself out, she was going to be more of a liability than anything else and Doctor Director believed that she might have to fire her friend.

The raven-haired woman left the building with a deep scowl on her face. She did not want to be at work, anyway. She did not want to be surrounded by ridiculous and outrageous dolts that swore they knew things about her. She was sick of seeing morons every time that she turned around. She hated them all. _Fuck ‘em all_.

 _Fuck Betty especially_. She did not have an attitude and she did not need to take a few days. It was everyone else that was the problem, not her, especially that asshole would not get out of her way. 

The pale woman went home to nothing. The large apartment seemed so empty. She bet that the place had an echo. It never seemed so monstrously huge before. She tried to ignore the overwhelming feeling of isolation that came with being in her massive apartment and she looked for something to do since she was now free for almost a month.

She could not believe it, but she had three whole weeks with nothing to do. There would be no one to beat up legally for three weeks. Her talents would go to waste for three whole weeks. Part of her actually wanted to go beat up Betty for suspending her, but she knew that would not help matters.

The first few days were not so bad. She caught up on her reading, but after that she was at a loss. She was not a woman of many hobbies. Her job was like her hobby because she got to practice her fighting skills and she got to beat people up. Not to mention, she got paid to do it. What more could she ask for?

She decided to work out, but she could not do that for the whole day. After lounging on her sofa for a few more days, an evil thought crept into her head. There was a chance that she might be lonely. She refused to believe that, though.

She was a loner by nature, habit, and choice. She did not like dealing with people and she hated having people around her because they always, ultimately did something very stupid. _So_ , she asked herself, _what’s there to be lonely about?_ _Nothing_. Yeah, it was probably nothing, she told herself. 

A few times, she had been tempted or almost accidentally called out for her pet, to play a game or do a trick, just something to entertain her, only to remember that she did not have a pet anymore. She sighed and shook her head.

“Okay, there’s no pet anymore,” she muttered with a disappointed pout. So, there was no one to torment, no one to watch act ridiculous for her own personal amusement, and no one to hold while watching a movie. She was alone.

She tried her best not to think of her pet. She told herself that it was best that the girl was gone because it was better for her pet. Her pet needed to do something with her life and not waste away on her sofa like some fat cat.

“She needs to go put that brain and those skills to use,” Shego reminded herself, just so she remembered why it was best for her little brat to be gone. “She needs to make something of herself.”

The selfish side of Shego did point out that she should have just kept the brat because she would at least have someone to entertain her at the moment. Why should she care if the little pest wanted to waste her life? The problem was that she did care, so she told herself to just to stop thinking of the rascal because she was not coming back and if she did, Shego would just turn her away again. That girl needed to do something with her life beyond sleeping all day.

Well, she was still on her own. She was tempted to take Betty up on her suggestion of calling her mother and getting her to do a favor for her. But, she was not interested in getting anything from her mother at the moment. She did not feel like dealing with that woman anytime soon. 

After over a week of being by herself, Shego was blessed with company. Okay, maybe it was more like cursed with company. Whoever said beggars could not be choosers because she would like to punch that person in the mouth. As lonely as she was, she would have preferred that to Drakken showing up.

The presence of the cerulean inventor did not help ease Shego’s feeling of loneliness. Cooking for him was not the same as cooking for her pet. He just did not appreciate it in the slightest. He certainly did not make her feel like the world’s greatest chef like her pet did. She could ruin a meal and Kim would still eat it with a smile on her face as if she had never tasted something so delicious. She would even ask for seconds if she had a mission that day, not that Shego knew about the missions back then. Drakken never requested seconds no matter what.

There were other problems with the onyx-eyed scientist showing up while she was longing for her pet, not that she would ever admit to longing for her little pest. She could not cuddle him. It would just be weird and against her very nature. He was not even cuddly, but her pet was cuddly. She wanted something to cuddle to take the edge off of everything, to help relax her in someway.

She soon realized that she could not stand him each minute that he was at the house as the days ticked away. She ignored him most of the time that he spoke because things were less painful that way for both of them. She desired to punch him in the neck almost every five minutes to silence him and his ranting after a while. He actually soured her mood the more that he was around. So, when she went back to work, it would have been logical for her to be worse off than when she left. But, that was not the case.

Shego was glad to go back to work, glad to have something to do; it gave her a reason to avoid the blue-skinned doctor. She decided to avoid everyone at work, too, and that way she would not flip out on anyone and she would never get suspended again. She did not talk to anyone. She just did her assignments, wrote her reports, and went home at the end of the day. It became almost a pathetic, dreary routine, but it did keep her from being suspended again and that was what counted.

The only break in her rut came from the few times that she completely lost it on Drakken. The first time that it happened he just got too deep into her business and kept pestering her about her family. He wanted to know where they were, what they did, and a trillion other things that she did not want talk about and was getting on her nerves. He just went on and on, not listening when she ordered him to stop. She eventually just blasted him. It seemed like the reasonable thing for her to do in her opinion.

Yes, Shego had actually hit her boyfriend with a plasma blast and that had only been the first time. She had done it a couple of other times after he started babbling about one of his projects and he just would not stop. It did not help matters that he talked down to her when he started going on about his work. She could tell him to cease, but he did not listen and she blasted him. The worst part of it, she supposed anyway, was that she did not feel guilty about it at all.

Hitting Drakken was like hitting one of her brothers. No regret or remorse followed the act. He deserved it, her brain always told her and she moved on with her life, never thinking about it again. He never seemed to learn his lesson, though.

She had seriously hit her pet once and that was mostly because she did not know what else to do and hitting the girl was the first thing that came to mind. It was like an instinct after her mind told her to be offended. But, she hated to admit that she had not hit the girl out of annoyance or anger. It was fear that made her hit the girl. Her pet had really scared her that day and she did not know what else to do when struck with fright. She did know that after hitting her pet, she had not believed in her heart that the redhead deserved it like she did when she hit everyone else.

She would never hit her little monster again, she vowed, if the pest ever returned to her. But, she knew that she could never make the same promise with Drakken. She had hit him before and it was highly likely that she would hit him again because he would get on her nerves again. Maybe one day she would feel something negative about abusing him, but she doubted it. As long as he was there and getting on her nerves, she would hit him and he continued to get on her nerves. It turned into a vicious cycle. 

-*-(End of Flashback)-*-

Shego was drawn out of her reminiscence by a disturbance. There was a knocking at the door that jolted her from her thoughts. She climbed off of the sofa and went to the front of the apartment. She opened the door and there stood Betty.

“I’ve been calling your phone all day and you didn’t pick up,” Doctor Director said to explain her presence. 

“Oh … I didn’t hear it,” Shego said absently as she motioned for her friend to come in with a tired wave of her hand.

“No? Well, where is it?” the one-eyed woman inquired as she entered the apartment and her friend shut the door behind her. They went to the sofa and flopped down on the furniture.

“I don’t know where my phone is,” the pale female honestly replied while scratching her head in bewilderment. She had no clue where anything was it would seem. 

“Are you all right?” Betty asked, masking her concern just barely.

“Yeah. Why would you even ask that?”

“You don’t look so great. Besides, you haven’t come to work in the past few days,” the chief pointed out. She thought that her life-long companion might have been sick, but it did not look like that was the case. Something was up, though. She just was not sure what it was, but she bet it was serious from Shego’s unkempt appearance.

“I haven’t? I called in, didn’t I?” the emerald-eyed female asked in a bemused tone. She continued to rub the top of her head and her eyes showed sorrow and puzzlement. It was like she was hopelessly lost. Something was definitely going on, the one-eyed woman concluded.

“Yeah, you called in. But, it’s not like you to miss days and not answer your phone, except for that one time when it was really cold. So, what’s the problem? Why are you in here looking like you just fell out of bed?” the brown-haired woman inquired in a confused tone of her own.

“It’s nothing,” the younger female replied in a dismissive voice. It did not seem like nothing from the way she was looking. She was still in her pajamas and it looked like she had not slept in a couple of days.

She actually had not slept in two days because she was worried about her absent pet and she was surprised to find out that it was hard to sleep through the night anyway without that slender body pressed against her. She got out of bed every couple of hours to check the loft and see if Kim had returned, but it was always empty.

“Where the hell is your brat?” Betty asked while looking around. Was that little punk so useless that she could not even keep Shego company while she was obviously going through some kind of problem, the older woman could not help wondering. She doubted that she would ever understand why her friend kept that hopeless shrimp around. That girl was just a waste of space most of the time.

“Oh … she’s … she’s out,” Shego answered in an unsure tone.

Betty nodded. “She ran away?” she guessed because her friend was just too distressed for the girl to simply be “out.” She also doubted that her employee had thrown the girl out or she would have simply said that.

“She did,” Shego confirmed. “But, I was going to throw her out anyway,” she quickly added.

Doctor Director felt a slight headache coming on. The brat was gone again and Shego seemed to have gone off the deep end, or was at least close to it. The elder woman knew how it was going to go because it was a rerun. Well, it was sort of a rerun. The brat had not runaway that first time, but she had not been around and that had deeply affected the super-powered woman.

Betty wondered if Shego had come to realize how much she needed that useless runt. She guessed that Shego kept Kim because she subconsciously understood that she needed the olive-eyed girl, but from the look on her friend’s face, that subconscious thought might have worked its way into her consciousness because she looked absolutely wrecked and Betty was willing to bet it was because her pet ran away. It was about time that Shego realized that there was more to having Kim around than the fact that she liked having someone willing to play the fool for her. 

“You were getting tired of her?” Betty asked her friend since Shego claimed that she was going to throw Kim out anyway.

“No,” the green-skinned woman answered honestly.

“She was getting on your nerves?” the one-eyed woman assumed. She would not put it passed that kid to do something stupid and upset Shego to the point where the pale woman would consider kicking her out, like when the little idiot kissed Shego with tongue that one time. 

“Not exactly.”

“Well, I’m all out of guesses. You want to throw me a hint or hum a few bars?” Betty requested.

Shego showed Betty her left hand. The brown-haired female did not see what the big deal was at first until her eye spied something quite wrong, in her opinion anyway. There was a ring on Shego’s ring finger.

“What the fuck is that!” Betty asked as if the ring was some unidentified, mutant bug. She even pointed at the ring with a slightly terrified look on her face.

In Doctor Director’s defense, she was beyond surprised and a little horrified too. Seeing Shego with a possible engagement ring was more frightening than aliens landing and knowing that they did not come in peace. She believed that she should have been given some kind of warning before being flashed the ring. She thought that Shego’s actions could be considered attempted murder for the simple fact that she could have died of shock. Her blood pressure was already up thanks to her job and her so-called friend was trying to give her a heart attack by showing her what could be an engagement ring.

“It’s just what it looks like,” the raven-haired woman stated. 

“Are you fucking insane?” Doctor Director demanded to know in an almost hysterical tone.

“Could you take this just a little worse?” Shego inquired sarcastically.

“Yeah, I could, but I have a little discipline. You’re going to marry Drakken? Drakken of all people? Have you even stopped and thought about this just a little bit?” the boss asked. Of course, she could have taken it worse and just punched her friend in the face for doing something so blatantly foolish. She was tempted to threaten to tell Shego’s mother on her for doing some to outlandishly irrational.

“Of course I have,” the younger female replied, but that did not assure her friend that she had thought out what she was doing.

“No, you haven’t if you’re still going to go through with this insane shit. You do know he’s moving out of town in a little while, right? You’ll have to move, too,” Betty pointed out.

“Aw, you’re worried about being all alone?” Shego teased with a halfhearted smirk.

“I’m worried about you losing what little fucking mind you have,” the one-eyed woman declared and she poked her friend in the forehead, purposely looking to get a charge out of the green-skinned female. Shego grabbed her hand with expected swiftness. 

“Don’t do that again,” the pale woman growled in anger.

“Now, if I didn’t listen and did it again, you’d be out for blood. What are you going to do when it’s Drakken poking you in your big fucking head? I’ve got no problem with you trying to take my head off. In fact, I get a crazy kick out it. Drakken won’t and the silly bastard doesn’t listen. If you go after him, you will take his head off. You’ll kill that guy if you marry him.”

“What’s done is done.”

“What the fuck kind of talk is that? That doesn’t even make any fucking sense. I guess that’s why Princess got the hell out of Dodge. She’s the real loser in all of this, even with the shit you’re talking. She’ll have to go out, get a real job, and find a real home—”

“This is her real home!” Shego snarled in pure fury and she tightened her grip on her friend’s wrist. “This is her real home,” the green-skinned woman repeated with conviction.

“Then why are you driving her away?” Betty inquired while ignoring the fact that she was going to have a nice bruise all around her wrist tomorrow. She would get the younger female back once her mind was restored her, if that ever happened anyway. She decided to just count herself lucky that her obviously distressed and insane friend had not grabbed her with her hands plasma charged. She would have one hand to go along with her one eye and then she would have to shoot Shego, which did not seem like a bad option at the moment. 

“I’m not. She ran away,” the green-skinned female declared.

“Because you’re going to marry Drakken. She knows her time is up. You can’t keep her and marry him. It’s got to be one or the other. It can’t be both. You know that and she knows that. You have to stop kidding yourself,” Betty stated.

The brown-haired woman did not even know how her friend had managed to keep Kim and Drakken for as long as she did. She could not believe that the man actually believed Kim was only Shego’s cousin. Anyone with eyes that was around the pair for a few hours should have known something was up, in Doctor Director’s opinion.

“What should I do?” Shego inquired. 

Betty was beyond incredulous that her friend had actually let that question exit her mouth. She could not believe that it was even an issue. Sure, she could not stand that little brat and she had given Drakken that job, but he was good at his job and the brat was, well, a brat. But, the point was that she did not have to live with either of them and one of them kept Shego calm while the other one drove Shego close to mad. So, why the hell was it even an issue? 

“Shego, I don’t know what the fuck is up with you, but you need to ask yourself, what do you want? Who do you want? I mean, the Shego I know would never ask such a dumb ass question. The Shego I know, when she wants shit, she takes it and doesn’t give a damn about what other people think. Sometimes, she doesn’t even care who gets hurt. I mean, I remember when we were in elementary school that if Shego wanted a swing, then she pushed whoever the hell was on it off the swing and used it. If she wanted the last slice of pizza for lunch, but there were people ahead of her in line, she flung those unlucky souls out of her damn way. If she wanted to answer a question and the wise ass in the class raised his hand to answer it, she slapped him in the back of the head and told him to shut the hell up while she answered the question without being called on. From when she was little, she took things because if she didn’t, she’d be overlooked, she’d be forgotten. No one forced her into doing things and she got what she wanted,” Betty stated.

Shego nodded to show that she understood what her friend was saying. “Have I told you how much I hate you?”

“This week?” Betty riposted.

“Yeah.”

“No, not this week. You’d be so lost without me.”

“Please, I wouldn’t have half the problems I do if I never met you,” the green-skinned female remarked.

“I could say the same.”

“Please, with your family?”

“Okay, you got me. So, what are you going to do? Sit here, sulk, and be all engaged or go out and look for your fucking brat?” Betty inquired. Shego only looked at her friend, but there was a strange expression in her emerald eyes. 

-8-8-8-8-

 

Next time: the end


	31. Dilemma Thirty-one: A return to normalcy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.
> 
> This is the last chapter. Let’s see what happens.

Dilemma Thirty-one: A return to normalcy?

 _I could die a million times, a million different ways and I know the pain I’m feeling now would still be far worse than anything else. It’s like I’m being gutted every second of every minute while being bled dry from a million tiny, deep wounds. How could one person have this affect on me? Why do I need her so badly?_  

“Isn’t that a bit dangerous?” Monique asked as she stepped out onto the balcony of the apartment that she shared with Felix. She sounded more amused than concerned since she was talking to the woman that could do anything.

Kim was parked on the railing and they were on the sixth floor. The sky was grey and it was clear that it was going to storm at some point sooner or later. The hero was just staring off into the distance, not focusing on anything in particular.

“Only for idiots,” Kim replied with a forced smile.

The redhead had been forcing her smiles for days now and it was easy to tell that even doing that was a struggle for her. She was just trying to make things easier on the people around her; she was not looking to bring down anyone’s mood. She did look better now than she did last week, which was the last time that Monique saw her. The chocolate-eyed young woman guessed that her friend had come back for want of a sofa to sleep on. 

“So, you’re not going home?” the African-American female figured since Kim was back at her place.

Monique had been wondering what her good friend was going to do with herself now that she was homeless. She believed that the slender hero should just go back home and when she said home, she meant back to Shego. She was fairly certain that Shego had to miss the olive-eyed young woman by now and she would at least talk things out with Kim by now more than likely.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to sometime. Not that I can think of anything that I have there that I really want,” Kim answered. Actually, she just did not want to return to that place. Would any person in her right mind want to return to the place that she felt she was pretty brutally murdered? She truly felt like Shego had executed her.

“You might at least want your clothes back. I’ve seen your gear and it is the ‘nuffness,” Monique commented. 

“It’s more hers than mine anyway. She bought most of it.”

“But, she gave it to you. Besides, it’s not like she can fit it and she’s probably not going to be getting another pet that can fit it,” the wavy-haired girl reasoned. 

“Fine, I’ll go get my gear. Are you trying to kick me out?” the redhead asked.

“Of course not. Why would I kick out my girl, especially in her time of need? Just helping you move along. It’s not like you’re going to stay long, anyway.” 

“I don’t want to get in the way,” the hero replied. She never stayed long because she did not want to be in anyone’s way or wear out her welcome.

“Yeah, I know how you are, girl. I don’t mind how you are either. I don’t mind having you around and you should know that you’re never in the way. I’m just trying to help you out.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll get going and see what I can grab. See you later,” Kim said and she hopped off of the railing onto the balcony.

“When you say ‘later,’ can you give me a rough estimate? Today? Tonight? Tomorrow? A few days from now? Just so I know when to order out for three,” Monique teased with half a smile, trying to lift her girl’s spirits.

“You’re so full of jokes. Keep it up and I’ll put in a bad word for you with Felix. I’ll tell him that you tried to seduce me,” Kim remarked.

“Please, he would just tell me to try harder and then ask to watch if not join in if I ever succeed,” the chocolate-eyed female pointed out with a laugh.

“You got me there,” the redhead yielded. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego threw on some clothes and decided to go outside for the first time in a week. She had been so depressed the past week and she had not even realized it. She had to go out and she had to get back what she wanted. She had to get back what was hers if she wanted to remain sane and if she wanted to remain alive. She walked out of the door and, as soon as she stepped out into the street, the skies opened up. It began to pour down rain like it was the second flood.

“Shit,” the pale woman muttered.

Her luck just had to be damned, as that was the only way to explain the life that she was having, Shego thought. Fine, if she had to go out in the pouring rain, then she would go search in the pouring rain. Hell, it could hail fire and brimstone and she would still be outside. Only one thing mattered to her and she did not care what stood in her way. She would get what she wanted.

 _Now, where’s the first place that I should try?_ The blond boy’s house, she figured without much difficulty. She trotted off in that direction, thinking that it would be better to search on foot for various reasons. She got a couple of blocks away and found that searching on foot was the right call. Standing six feet away from her was just the person that she was looking for. Had she jumped into her car, she would have missed the whole reason that she was outside getting drenched. 

“Pumpkin,” Shego said.

Kim was standing right there, facing her, soaked to the bone. The redhead did not react to her pet name. Shego sighed; maybe her luck was not so very damned. She had found the young woman quickly and unharmed, which were good things. But, the girl was not responding to her, only staring at her with glass-like green eyes. Her olive eyes showed nothing at the moment.

“Come on home, out of the rain,” she gently urged her pet, who still did not reply. “Come on,” Shego practically begged the girl. 

“I don’t want you to marry Drakken,” Kim blurted out. She had not planned on saying that, but it was the only thing that she could say now that she was facing her beloved master. She was trying her best to hold back the urge to break down and cry right in front of the woman that had practically ripped her heart right out of her chest. 

“Come on,” Shego repeated and she took the younger woman by the hand.

The pale woman gently tugged the redhead back toward the apartment. Kim did not put up any resistance. She just did not have it in her to protest and she had been going home anyway. Glancing down at their joined hands, Kim had to fight the urge to throw up. Much to her dismay, she also had to fight down hope and warmth. 

They entered the apartment and Shego took Kim’s drenched jacket off of her shoulders. She went and hung both of their jackets up in the bathroom to dry off. She returned to Kim, who remained standing in the hall as if she had never been in the apartment before, and the elder woman looked down at her girl. She was not too sure what she should say.

“You should get out of those wet clothes,” Shego said. 

Kim did not move and Shego went off to get a towel. She wrapped the towel around Kim’s shoulders. The redhead allowed it to drop to the floor rather than hold it to herself. Shego sighed, but did her best not to look as dejected as she felt.

In the light of the apartment, Shego could see lines and dark circles under Kim’s eyes. She thought the kid’s complexion was rather ashen, but it would have been from the cold rain. _I have to do something about this kid_. Shego needed to help and she needed to get through to Kim. 

“Are you hungry? I could make some spaghetti,” Shego offered, trying to sound as normal as possible.

Kim wanted to scoff. Spaghetti, while a very powerful food, would not wipe away all of the gut-wrenching, absolute, excruciating agony that she was going through right now. Her entire being, everything that made up the creature that was Kim Possible, was totally, completely, and thoroughly injured. She might as well have been a pile of worthless ashes, she believed. It was like her whole being had been nuked and Shego had been the one that pushed the button to launch the killer missiles.

“I don’t want you to marry Drakken,” Kim repeated. She just could not think of anything else to say. She did not think that anything else mattered.

“I know,” Shego replied. 

“I don’t want you to.”

“I know,” the green-skinned woman repeated.

The redhead threw herself on Shego and latched onto her. She began weeping uncontrollably on the older woman’s shoulder while chanting that she did not want the pale female to marry Drakken. The raven-haired woman just held her distraught pet and let her weep. She thought that the girl needed the release. She knew, of course, what her pet wanted. And she was fairly certain of what she wanted. 

-8-8-8-8-

Shego sat up in bed that night. Her elf was curled up next to her, sleeping soundly. Kim seemed to be thoroughly worn out. Shego guessed that she had put the redhead through quite a bit. She did not mean to be so tough on her little monster. She was supposed to take care of Kim, after all. A master was supposed to take care of her pet, not put her pet through all sorts of trauma. 

Kim did not deserve all of that distress that she put on her, Shego told herself. The girl had done nothing but be a loyal and loving pet and she had repaid that with such a hurtful ordeal. It was not right. Hell, it was not even smart.

She remembered that she had called her pet stupid, but the truth of the matter was that Kim seemed to have it more together than she did, Shego realized. The slender redhead did what she did, not because she was forced into it or even felt pressure to do it now. Her pet did whatever she did because she wanted to do it. Kim did whatever put a smile on her face. She guessed that was why her girl always held that pixie-like twinkle in her eyes. Life had so many possibilities, and testing them out and not boxing herself in was what made Kim happy.

“I’ve got a lot to learn from you, huh?” Shego said in a whisper while eyeing the girl and then she lightly caressed the redhead’s slightly chubby cheek. “And I thought I was the teacher around these parts.” 

Kim had not been very cooperative through out the night, not that Shego blamed her for her behavior. The green-skinned female had made spaghetti for dinner as she had offered to do, but her girl refused to eat any of it. She supposed that she should have expected as much from her visibly wounded pet. She believed that she was lucky that Kim had not just thrown the food on the floor.

The olive-eyed adventurer also refused to participate in any kind of small talk. She stared at her hands or feet for most of the evening. She was actually a little ashamed that she had cried right on the older woman after swearing to herself that she had given Shego the last of her tears days ago. She was also embarrassed to have said that she did not want the raven-haired female to marry Drakken, well over a hundred times. She wanted to think that she was over all of that, but as soon as she saw Shego, something inside of her cracked and she knew that she was not over it. She doubted that she ever would be over it. 

Kim did not even want to stay the night, but Shego refused to let her go back out into that typhoon-like weather. She did not have it in her to physically contest the pale woman, so the slim hero complied with the order somewhat. The only reason that Kim was sleeping in the bed next to her was because Shego carried her there after the petite adventurer fell asleep on the couch. 

“Does she hate me now?” the emerald-eyed woman wondered aloud, having to swallow a lump in her throat. She would understand it if she was now the most detested thing in her monster’s life. She would understand it, but she damn sure would not accept it. 

-*-(Next day)-*-

The pale woman paced her living room while waiting for her zero hour to come, the moment of truth. Kim was still sleeping. She assumed that the redhead was dogged emotionally and that had completely tired her out. She would allow the girl to rest. It was all right to rest all she needed and wanted to now.

A knock at the door pulled Shego from her thoughts. The moment that she had been waiting for had arrived right on time. She answered it quickly to avoid having the noise disturb Kim, especially since the girl looked like she needed the sleep. She really did not want anything at all to bother the girl or possibly wake her up. Drakken was standing outside and she ushered him in with a sweep of her hand. She shut the door behind him and led him to the dining room table. They both sat down. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Drakken inquired. He had been surprised when she called him last night. She never called him. So, he was rather curious as to what brought on the honor of her phoning him.

“It’s about us,” Shego answered plainly.

“Us?” he echoed in a puzzled tone. 

“Look, we’ve been together for a long time and you have grown on me, but I can’t do this anymore,” Shego kind of explained.

The blue doctor had grown on her, something akin to a fungus, she suspected. There was something about him that made her stay with him, endure him, but it just was not strong enough to make her continue on. There was no point to putting herself through it anymore. He was not the only person that would ever put up with her on a long-term basis and she knew that for a fact.

“Do what?” he asked in a bemused tone.

“This.” The green-skinned woman motioned to the both of them and then she placed the ring that he had given her on the table between the two of them. She had been tempted to melt the ring, but she did not even have the energy to be malicious right now. Really, the only things that she wanted were for everything to be corrected and then to just move on; she had no desire to be mean.

“I don’t understand,” he replied while looking down at the ring and then looking back up at his girlfriend. His confusion was evident in his beady, black eyes.

“I bet you don’t, so I’ll make it real plain and extra simple. I’m not going to marry you. Believe it or not, I’m doing you a favor,” she informed him.

If she did marry Drakken, eventually she would just have to devour him because he would get on her nerves so much. And that was only if her parents or brothers did not kill him beforehand considering how much they disliked him. She would not put it passed any of them to slaughter him even during a “special occasion.” In other words, he would be lucky to live through the first week of marriage with her, so she was doing him a favor by not taking things that far.

“But, we agreed—” the scientist tried to argue. 

“We didn’t agree on jack shit. You just assumed. You never asked me to marry you and I never actually said that I would. Besides, I don’t love you,” Shego confessed as if it was nothing and, to her, it was nothing, especially now. 

She did not really believe in love in the romantic sense, but she understood that there was something that made one person put up with another person’s problems. She could not and would not put up with Drakken. She had to force herself to tolerate him most of the time, but she knew that she would not be able to do that for the rest of her life.

Part of her even considered that the only reason that she could stomach Drakken was because she had her pet around. Her monster kept her calm and relaxed, putting her in the right frame of mind to tolerate someone like him over time. When it was just her and Drakken, though, those were the times that she could hardly stand him for a few seconds and those were the times that she had hit him.

She barely even cared about him when she sat down and thought about it. If Drakken went missing for days, she would not worry or even think about it. She would move on with her life. It was not that she was heartless, even though she liked to think that she was, but there was something about him that made her apathetic toward him in regards to most situations. She was indifferent toward him when she was not annoyed.

“Is there someone else? That Junior kid?” Drakken demanded with a frown.

The ocean-colored doctor doubted that he would ever forget how that muscular rich boy tried to work on Shego with all of his money and flirting. He thought that it was feasible that the kid had gotten to Shego since he knew that she liked money. So, he could imagine her leaving him to be with Junior. With that theory, he failed to take into account that she had her own money. Sure, she did not have as much as Junior, but she had enough for her to live comfortably and for her “cousin” to lounge listlessly around her house.

“No, it’s not Junior,” she answered with a bit of an attitude.

Shego was insulted that anyone would think that she could even stand Junior. Junior was slightly less annoying than Drakken just because he at least knew how to have a good time, but she suspected that being around him for a long period of time would wear on her nerves just like the inventor did. She could imagine herself punching the mess out of Junior eventually, especially since he was an airhead. 

“But, there is someone else. Is it my cousin Eddie?” he asked with a fright. He remembered all of the things that his cousin had said about Shego and then he thought about how he never saw her rebuff the mechanical engineer.

The pale woman shuddered at the thought of being with that mullet-wearing lunatic. She had enough of the Lipsky family, especially after meeting him. “That creepy mechanic? Yeah, right. I wouldn’t touch that bastard with latex gloves,” she remarked. She would not touch that maniac Ed with one of those space suits on. 

“Then who?” he shouted.

“Keep your voice down,” she commanded.

“What, because of your lazy cousin? That brat needs to go out and find a job and stop acting like a parasite!” he huffed. “Did she put you up to this? I know she’s never liked me!”

“She doesn’t think one way or the other about you. Why the fuck would she think about you? You’re nobody to her, so don’t talk about her like that. This is my decision and my decision alone. I can’t marry you. I won’t marry you. It’s that simple. Here’s your fucking key back, not that you’re going to be living there anymore,” she commented and she flicked the key at him, nailing him right in the nose because she was getting irked by him. 

Drakken made a noise as the key fell into his lap. He looked down at the key and then back at the emerald-eyed officer. “Is that what this is about? The fact that I’m moving and you would have to, too?”

“No, but that was another piece of work there. How in the hell do you take a job out of state without at least asking me and expect me to just uproot my life?” she demanded. 

“So, that is what this is about?” he asked in a bemused tone.

“No, this is about us being done and over with,” Shego declared. It actually felt good to say those words. It was nice to not have to deal with him anymore. “Goodbye, Drakken,” she dismissed him.

She found that breaking up with the scarred scientist was a lot like hitting him. There was no guilt, no regret, and absolutely no remorse. It was not messy in any way. She felt free and relieved, like she had been unchained from a wall. 

“But, Shego—”

“Goodbye,” she stated again.

“You can’t be serious!” he shouted, half angry, half whining. 

“I’m very serious. Goodbye. Lots of luck to you in life, you’ll need it,” she replied and then she rose to her feet. She motioned to the door for him to get the hint to leave. If he did not get the hint soon, she was going to have to show him the door by throwing him through it.

“But, Shego, I—”

“What the hell don’t you understand about this? I don’t want to marry you. I don’t love you. We’re done. Goodbye,” she repeated because he was not getting the message. She doubted that she could be anymore straightforward than she had been already. Well, she could always literally throw him out, she considered. And she figured that she might actually do that if he did not leave in the next twenty seconds.

“Can’t we talk about this?” he pled.

“We just did. Buh-bye now.”

Drakken was not too sure what to say. He had never planned on having such a conversation. He never thought that she would dump him. He did not fully understand why she was dumping him. He thought that they had had a good relationship. He did know that he might want to get going before he invoked Shego’s wrath because she was inevitably going to lose her temper with him arguing with her.

The blue inventor wisely started toward the door and when he got to the entrance hall, he noticed Kim sitting against the wall by the living room entrance. She was in her pajamas. She had one leg propped up and was resting one of her hands on that leg. He glared at her, but she did not even bother to look up at him.

Shego went to the door and held it open, waiting for the onyx-eyed scientist to get moving out of the apartment. He hesitated for a moment and looked like he was about to say something to the slender redhead. The emerald-eyed woman grabbed him to help him get out. He made a startled noise while being manhandled. She flung him out of the apartment and slammed the door shut once he was on the other side, looking as if he was about to protest.

Shego turned her attention to Kim once she was done with Drakken. The redhead remained parked against the mint green wall, staring down at the wooden floor of the hall. Her face betrayed nothing that might be going on in her mind. 

“So, how much did you hear?” the pale woman inquired.

“You never answered him on the issue of if there was someone else,” the slim girl replied.

Shego smiled a bit. “He should’ve asked the question and ended it there instead of guessing. So, pancakes?”

“With cinnamon?” the younger woman asked, still looking at the floor and still not letting her emotions known.

“Of course.”

“Well, then, I’ll take some. Like six,” Kim mused aloud. 

“Six it is, you greedy monster,” Shego remarked and the impish redhead finally smiled. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kim was resting against Shego; they were both on the sofa. The adventurer was curled up against the older woman. The hero was sitting on her lap with her head resting on Shego’s shoulder and her face was slightly nuzzled in Shego’s pale skin. Her hands were at Shego’s side and her legs were wrapped around the raven-haired female. It seemed that she was very worn out from the past week.

The green-skinned woman was holding the younger female around the waist to make sure that the snoozing adventurer did not fall off of her or off of the couch. She was also rubbing the girl’s back, keeping her relaxed and helping her stay asleep because she understood that the girl had been through quite a bit emotionally. She was watching some movie on television, but she was not paying it much mind. She was mostly thinking about everything that had just happened.

When it all came down to it and in retrospect, it had been a very easy decision, Shego realized. It just had to be Kim. She could not even believe how she had tried to consider that it could be any other way. There were so many reasons why it had to be her little monster and not Drakken. All Shego had to do was stop and realize that. Maybe she really was the one that was stupid, she considered. 

“Or the blind one,” she mumbled. “Too stubborn for my own good?”

She asked herself now, what did she think she was going to do without her brat and with Drakken? She was just going to go out of her mind if she had stayed with that nutty and irksome inventor. She knew that she wanted her pet more than anyone else in her life, so why had she fought it? It just had to be Kim.

She guessed that it was just difficult for her admit to herself that she needed someone like Kim. She did not know what was going on in the olive-eyed girl’s head most of the time and she did not understand why someone like Kim wanted to be with someone like her. It did not make any sense to her, even though it seemed to make perfect sense to the younger woman. She did not really like the fact that she did not know what was going on in the redhead’s mind.

There was also the chance that she just did not want to believe that Kim was serious about her feelings. She had trouble seeing any reasons for Kim to be sincere, even though in her heart, she knew that everything the girl did and said was honest. Sometimes, though, it seemed like it could all just be part of her acting as a pet and not how she truly felt. But, then again, she did take into account that the girl was willing to be her pet and that said a lot in and of itself.

She supposed that the reasons did not matter at the moment. The important thing was that she had made the right decision to keep Kim just like they both wanted her to do. They needed each other.

The pale woman leaned down and kissed the corner of Kim’s mouth. She still had Kim, but she could not help wondering what she was supposed to do now. Would they continue as they were? Should they continue as they were? Her thoughts were thrown off as Kim moved against her, grinding against her just a bit. Shego let out a small groan and the petite hero smiled in her sleep.

“You’re up,” Shego accused the redhead.

“Only a little,” Kim replied, not bothering to open her eyes. She was awake enough to know what she had done, but she was not awake enough to where she wanted to get up. She planned on staying right where she was for as long as possible.

“You’re such a little monster.”

“I’m your little monster and that’s what counts. You know, you never did say if there was someone else.” 

“Maybe,” Shego replied. Maybe there was someone else, but if there was, what was she supposed to do? She did not know.

“Take your time,” Kim said.

Shego smiled a bit. Her runt understood her for whatever reason. Her little monster wanted to be with her and wanted to make her happy. She knew that the eccentric adventurer loved her and she realized that in someway, she loved the olive-eyed girl in return. She just had to figure out what to do with that information. At least she was aware that she could take her time.

She supposed that for most people, it would seem like an easy conclusion to come to now that she knew and admitted to herself that she loved Kim, but it was not so simple. She understood that she wanted and needed Kim around, but she considered that she might just want the redhead as a pet. Maybe things would be best if Kim remained a pet, she considered. She was not sure where they should go as companions.

“Just try not to take too long,” Kim added while leaning in for a kiss. She was just going to simply kiss the older woman on the cheek, but Shego turned her head.

The super-powered woman turned into the kiss, not away from it. Their lips connected into a tender, sweet embrace. There was a flare to the kiss that neither of them that felt in a long time, in exactly the amount of time since they had last kissed in such a manner. They both actually sighed in relief a second into the kiss; it had been far too long in between passionate kisses, they silently decided.

Kim had been hungering for that moment for so long that she could hardly believe that it was happening. She wished that the incredible embrace would never end now that it was finally taking place. Shego’s lips were so unexplainably delicious to her, like divine nectar, and she would not mind devouring them for the rest of her life. For right now, though, she would make sure the magic moment lasted for as long as it could.

Shego could not believe what she had been running from. She could not believe what she had been denying for so long. She had forgotten the petite hero’s mouth was so warm, inviting, and absolutely scrumptious. It was like she had been living off of crackers for the past couple of years and she was now being given a feast fit for a god. Of course, she, being who she was, wanted more.

The pale woman lapped at Kim’s lower lip and the slender hero eagerly opened her mouth to the silent command. Shego’s tongue invaded Kim’s mouth and brushed up against the redhead’s own velvety tongue. The kiss became infinitely more delightful at that moment. It now transcended any normal feeling and became cosmic as they deeply and thoroughly tasted each other. 

Kim involuntarily purred into the older female’s mouth because of the intimate contact and how beautiful it felt. The kiss actually felt beautiful, as if it were classical music or a masterpiece painting. Shego’s touch was just all round lovely and completely pleasing and fulfilling. If she were to die at that moment, Kim was certain that she would go happily; the elder woman was of a similar mindset. But, since she was still alive and the moment was still going on, Kim decided to make the most of it.

The olive-eyed young lady ground her hips against Shego’s again, causing the raven-haired woman to moan lightly. The friction was too much. The emerald-eyed woman placed a hand on Kim’s hips to keep her from moving like that again, but she continued to passionately kiss the younger woman. The redhead was not deterred and made sure to keep her lips on Shego’s while trying something else.

The adventurer moved her hand from Shego’s side and placed it on the pale woman’s breast. She gently began massaging the soft mound, causing Shego to moan again, much louder than before. The raven-haired woman pulled away a little bit, breaking the kiss, much to Kim’s misery.

“Going too fast?” Kim asked.

“Yeah,” Shego confirmed.

“Sorry,” the redhead apologized. She hoped that was not going to be the end of things, not now that she was geared up. She needed contact and lots of it.

Shego did not say anything. She leaned in for another kiss. Kim did not object and met the older woman half way. They melted into each other, like calm clouds that where in each other’s paths. In the back of her mind, Kim could not help wondering if the kisses meant that the issue was dead and Shego knew just what she wanted from the redhead now. If not, Shego could still take her time because Kim no longer feared being cast aside. She had won. Shego understood how important she was to her, so all was right in her universe.

**The End?**

-8-8-8-8-

Continued in [The Gods Must Be Laughing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1894239/chapters/4082199).

Please, leave a review and let me know what you thought of the story.

Last thing: [here's different fanart for this series](http://starvinglunatic.deviantart.com/favourites/7077705/Walking-the-Line-art). Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see more of my fanfics, they're all at FFN under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fanfiction.net/~starvinglunatic). And last, if you wanna see some original stories, you can look at FP under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/).


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